I'm pretty stoked about it - I'm not sure how many people are going to be there, in fact... I worry that it'll just be me, my family and a few friends... but after having my fat ass strewn across the internet for people to prey upon.... it certainly won't be the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me this year. lololol
I have a TV interview on Tuesday morning - and I was talking to the Producer on Friday afternoon and she saying that she really liked The Blog. She said she reads a lot of blogs, and mine sticks out in her mind - so much so, she's been coming back to read more outside work. (hi there!) I was kind of excited to hear that.... it's hard to know where I stand. I can see my progress (from the first blog post) - and I'm proud of that, but I still don't really feel like a 'blogger' - so it's hard to know how I'm doing compared to others. I'm looking forward to doing their show on Tuesday - it's really humbling that they asked.
On that note..... I can't remember who I was talking to the other day, but they said something like, "Oh well, this has all worked out so well for you! You must be loving all this attention and the media and The Book?"I am very proud of The Book.... but, I would trade it all in and go back to February 1st of last year and put a stop to all of this if I could.... if for no other reason: for my children.
Mind you.... now that's I'm here, I suppose it's not a crime to enjoy just a *tiny* bit of this vodka I've been making... right? lolololol
So, Friday I was busy with working with producers and whatnot. (kind of fun to say that!) - and then we had to go to the gym... even though I was tired and didn't want to. Then I took the kids to Red Robin where shakes and smoothies and birthday Sundae's were had by allll!!!!!!!1.... except for me - no need to have to go *another* 5 miles at the gym.
The Boy was super excited about it being his birthday weekend - it's odd that he's keenly aware of his own aging. He said to me, "Mom... you know, I miss being a baby.... you held me all the time and I didn't have to share or go to school and stuff."
He cracks me up.
Saturday was supposed to be "my" day with the children, because I get their birthdays in our parenting plan. I felt like, since *I* was the one who actually birthed them... then I get to spend that day with them. So... I *could* have kept them ... kept The Boy - all to myself..... but I knew that in his heart, he would want to see his Dad on his birthday, too.
However, he also wanted to "go somewhere special".... so I arranged for El Capitan to come and take them for breakfast - and I went to the gym (and did 15 miles... thank you very much... on the bike that is) - and then I headed off to The Oregon Coast.
We had a great time going to Ecola State Park - and taking the 3 mile hike to the beach. It was very lush and muddy and The Boy spent a good bit of time teaching me a few things he learned in Cub Scouts... how cute is that? Oh... and he read me the sign about Cougars in the area - and he kept calling them Kruegers.... as in Freddy Kreuger. That had me almost p*ssing my pants.
We'd be walking along and he'd say...."Remember to watch for Kreugers Mom........"
Then we drove to Cannon Beach and the kids played in the sand.... which is really crazy because we drove through snow and ice to get there - but once we were there it was nearly 50 and both my kids wanted to put on suits and get in the water.... Oregon weather is crazy.
So we dug in the sand and took a few pictures and the sun was shining..... we were: living.
It was kind of amazing, if I'm being honest... and you can see the picture proof above! lolol
Then we braved the drive home through the icey roads just in time for birthday dinner with family - and the highlight of the night was the candles on The Boy's cake that kept re-lighting themselves over and over every time he blew them out. He was out of his mind about that..... The Girl thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen.
It was a really great night..... which, kind of surprised me. It wasn't until Sunday that I thought about how it had been a 'first' and it slipped right past me.... the "First" birthday as a divorced family.
I was glad... and a little bit proud - that it hadn't occurred to me until the next day..... I think that that means that I'm getting *past* this finally..... right?
It wasn't until the moment passed that I noticed how important it was.... I just faced it, made the right choice (about sharing the day) - and planned a great day for us. I did allll the things I was supposed to do as My Kid's Mom - and the hurt feelings of the Ex-Wife were nowhere to be found.... except as an after thought the next morning.
I kind took that as a bit of an unconscious - albeit HUGE - step forward for me... and by associated, for the three of us. It's been really *hard* to get to this place where I don't have to think as much about *how* to handle things... now I'm just kind of 'handling' them without it making my stomach hurt, or making me cry in the bathroom with the door shut and the fan on.
That's pretty big.......
Today we hung around and then I went to the gym... even though I really didn't want to. lolol... I was slogging away on mile 8 - thinking about how much my calves were hurting, when I heard a thumping behind me. I turned and saw an older lady trapped in her elliptical.
Somehow, she had gotten off track, lost her footing and wound up with her foot and leg twisted and in between the two 'feet' of the elliptical. She had badly hurt her shoulder (landing pretty much on her shoulder and back) - and she was desperately fearful that her ankle would snap in the machine. A few minutes later another man on a bike saw us on the ground and ran over - then we lifted her up and over the machine to un-tangle her ankle.
I've looked at those ellipticals a few times, I tried it once, and quickly saw that my size and lack of coordination wasn't going to lead me anywhere but on my a$$ in no short order, so I've kept to the bike and the treadmill.... and even when it's hard and it hurts: i just keep going.
After we helped the lady get help from the people who work at the gym - instead of quitting and heading to the hot tub..... I got back on the bike and did four more miles. The "old" me would have used that intermission as an excuse to throw in the towel... but the "new" me, she's more resolved and she stayed the course. Which again... I didn't think about until *after* I was showered and driving home.
Two big steps for me in one weekend... I'll take them.... and, I'll learn from the lady who fell and stick to what I know, stick to what is safe - and I'll just keep moving forward.....
Mind you....... this surely has to be proof that exercise can be bad for you and I should throw in the towel and saddled up to a giant box of donuts... right? ... right!?!?!
Probably not. damn.