So You Wanted to Sell A House... Did Ya?

7/17/2012

Wow.
Cannot say enough how shocked I am by allllll the media attention. No doubt we've got to be on minute.... 8 or 9 of my solid "15 minutes" of fame - and I'm fully expecting this rocket to go ass up, t*ts down and hit rock bottom soon.... but until then, some friends thought I should make my own voice heard while people are asking... Mind you - I'm still wondering why anyone care what I have to say to start with... but here goes.

We - the Ex and I, we're going to call him.... El Capitan - why? Simply because he was my "rock" and frankly... he's been a bit rough to get over. lol So, El Capitan and I aren't too unlike *most* people we know - working crazy hours trying to make enough money to make ends meet and maybejustmaybe start getting ahead.... but alas, in our attempt to get ahead we got "apart" instead... though I truly never saw this coming. (of course having someone else climb on the El Capitan didn't help matters... but perhaps another blog post on that later..... hahaha)

So, just to be clear AGAIN. We are divorced. He cheated, she's 22 and does, indeed, love yoga (and married men with kids.... just sayin'). Faced with separating our assets... lol... as if we actually *have* assets. bwahahaha - sure, I think we all know I poses amble "ass"ests.... however, in terms of financial things that courts care about we didn't have much and we decided to sell the house.

My Mom and I am spent a month and a half cleaning and packing and moving our stuff out of the house.
El Capitan doesn't yet have a "fixed" address so *I* rented a storage unit and moved his stuff there.... - so, yeah I guess all those internet posts are right - I did "clean him out" - only, I advance paid for the storage rental and gave him the lock and the key. Clearly, I really need to work on my master plans of "revenge" and being a "b*tch" ex-wife who "cleaned him out". lol.... I appear to really suck at those things.

For my business www.totallyradcards.com- I make cards and stuff - allll day long. When it came to selling the house, having me make the For Sale By Owner Signs - seemed like a no-brainer. My Mom came up with a nastier sign and I made it a little more "pg" and I approached El Capitan about using the signs and he thought it was a hilarious idea and we both thought it would get the house exposure. NEITHER of us thought it would be about exposure of both of us... NEITHER of us would use this dark time in our family to "dupe" people or lie to them just to sell our house....

So now here are.... the phone rings and rings and rings - and I, being a simple artist without training in public
speaking or how on earth I'm supposed to answer questions about the *most painful* time of my life.... I think I trip over my words alot.... but, first and foremost, I want to be clear that cheating is *the worst* thing someone can do in a marriage. :( The affects have been emotionally catastrophic and painful beyond words... finding out about her was the very darkest hours of my life thus far...

However, I noticed that the days I cried and cried... so did the kids - over toys and tv time and whatever. Days that I was angry - so were they: fighting with each other toys and getting frustrated over little things far too
quickly. Then... on days when I dug deep and found the strength to paint a smile on my face - the kids were smiling, too. Even if I had to fake it in the beginning, they didn't seem to know the difference and so like a perfect little circle... the more I smiled, the more joy and happiness they found - which brought me around to finding my own laughter and joy and happiness.

That's the thing. I lost my husband - and yes... I'm well aware that the size of my Lane Bryant capri pants *seems* to be a reasonable reason for this according to some online folks.... but I can assure you: as a wife, a woman and a mother I am defined by who *I* am - not my size. :) just sayin'...... :) I didn't lose myself, my kids or my sense of humor.... she took my husband - but she's not takin' *me*, and she's not taking the joy I have as a mother and the gratitude I have for my life. THAT is mine... alll mine - and only *I* have the power not to giveit up to them and their decision.

So, that's me and my first blog... and all two or three "readers" that this will actually get.... but it's nice to know someone is listening. Feel free to comment.... more posts to come later if people want them.

elle

807 Comments

Mo in Nova Scotia

7/17/2012 10:15:06 am

Wow, your first blog rocks!! I think you are an amazingly strong person and I applaud you. I also celebrate your sense of humour and especially your incredible resilience!! I was also cheated on, and it was and still can be, devastating. Bravo to you for being such a great role model for your children. Best of luck with the sale of your house. Onwards and upwards, Elle.

Kate

7/17/2012 09:56:42 pm

I was once where you are, cheated on, abandoned. Now 23 years later, I am remarried to the best man possible. My daughter from the "ex" is doing good.
Congratulations to you Elle..you are going to be fine.

Ksamodexut

7/17/2012 10:32:19 pm

Lisa B

7/17/2012 10:52:15 pm

Elle is amazing for not allowing a devastating situation to devastate her! And I'd like to thank her for sharing that when she cried, the children and when she was angry, the children were angry. I, too, am going through a divorce and I know my moods affect my children. Thanks for the reminder. I wish her all the best on selling that gorgeous home and with her beautiful children!!! Rock on woman!

Bella

7/18/2012 03:03:48 am

Hi! I have been there, done that, and know there is nothing quite like the feeling of being left for another woman. I invested 12 years in our marriage, gave my ex husband a beautiful daughter, worked and contributed to our finances. Sure there were problems, but no marriage is perfect. The worse day of my life was when I found those cell phone records and found out that it was a married woman he worked with. She divorced her husband, he divorced me and they got married three months after the divorce papers were signed. But, according to him, he did not have an affair. It was just bad timing...bad timing my ass! Whatever you need to tell yourself to make it through the night, buddy boy. Those phone records don't lie. He had been conversing with her for months during our marriage, spending time on the golf course with her, seeing her at work and discussing our marriage with her and my guess is, their future plans together. After he dropped the bomb that he was leaving, I crumbled and crumbled hard. Made some bad decisions along the way and was severely depressed. It has been three years, and the hurt is still there, especially when I know that my daughter has to spend time with this woman that had no problem chasing after a married man and destroying a marriage...make that two marriages. Rather than work on us, the ex took the easy way out. But, enough of that. It has no doubt been a tough road, and I have bounced back. Sure, I have my moments, but who wouldn't? I just wanted to say that your story is inspiring just what I needed to hear. It sucks what happened to you, and to me, but without a doubt, we will come out stronger in the end and these so-called men will have to live with what they did the rest of their lives. And we are both better off without them!

Kasmodexot

7/17/2012 10:53:31 pm

Greetings Elle,

You are indeed faced with the biggest catastrophe that can befall a marriage. When you lose a loved one in death, you have some consolation of the unseverred bond you shared until that unfortunate day. To see the one you devoted your life , mind , body, dreams to leave for another shows a blatant betrayal of that bond. As far as someone leaving the familiar gaze of the wife of your youth for a foreign person, there is no excuse. What marriage is should transcend a person's physical appearance. Weight gain, weight loss, car accident, loss of ability to walk , are not sufficient reasons to stray. After all, 'til death is the oath. This is also sad to see because I can see that you work hard with the kids, you help out household finances, and I am sure that there are more that are in your memories. I , being a married man, cannot STAND to see this happen. The trade of something so deep and long lasting for something so shallow and superficial is beyond me. Being that I am not a newlywed (5 years), I can say this with the utmost confidence. It's always mind over matter. More often than not it is the "XY" half of the marriage that really makes that step out. Marriage is not a perfect venture , by any means. If you don't have the grit to work on it, just don't do it. It will save a lot of people heartache. When two people get married they really start to become one. They develop roots that start to dig into the other person. The longer the two are together, the more intertwined they become. That's what is so sad about long lasting marriages that come to an end in this way. The roots have dug so deep by now, it's like ripping a redwood out of the ground that was right next to another redwood. I'm sorry to see this betrayal of what was once one of the most sacred bonds between two people, as it is the custom today. To just say that your forward thinking outlook is admirable would be an understatement. Cry if you must. You deserve to. Gather strength from your children as you say you do. Continue with your life in the best way you know how. Just like there is not typically marriage training going into a marriage, there is not much preparation for coming out of one. Make your steps in the best way you know how. I hope that you can derive some strength from the positive comments that you get and mentally filter out the negative ones. Of all of the things I can wish for you and your children, peace of mind is at the forefront. It seems like you have a developed a personality framework that will allow you to stay strong if you can achieve peace of mind. I wish you and your children the best in all of your endeavors. I also hope El Capitan learns the error of his ways.

aim

7/18/2012 02:07:26 am

Very well said. I myself am grieving from a distrustful event that my husband made few months ago. The process of healing could only be set by your own self without any time limitation. I strongly agree with your statements how the transition of moving forward to betterness could also be as rocky as it could be. But I have been definitely healing slowly by my the means of my kids presence. I applaud you Elle for your strong attitude. But it truly is also healthy to cry for the saddening unpredictable event that occurred especially if it was undoubtedly planned marriage. You go GIRL!!

Amy

7/18/2012 04:49:23 am

Hi Elle,
I think you are going about this forced change in such a positive light! I too went through what you are experiencing and it was horrible. I felt like everything had been ripped away from me, but as time went on, I found that it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I gained confidence and became my own person and in turn, I became a much stronger happier mother. I divorced 12 years ago and I met my current husband 2 years ago. I have never been happier in my life, but I found happiness with myself prior to meeting my current husband. Find yourself and you will find true happiness. Now, I wish the very best for my ex-husband and I have totally forgiven him which freed me from that pain I was carrying around. You are teaching your children such values with your behavior through this. You should be very proud of yourself! I am proud of you and I don’t know you! I wish you all the happiness you deserve!

MonAQue

7/17/2012 10:56:43 pm

So, after reading your story and your clever way of trying to sell your home, does this mean I can make a sign in front of my home for sale that says the following: "Husband left us for a bunch of teenagers in the Philippines...House 4 Sale! All Fleeing Sex Offenders Need NOT Apply!" Do you think this would upset the neighbors? ;) Or better yet, I wonder if the local Sex Crimes Department really know he fled to the PH? Anyone wanna call them for me? lol

7/18/2012 05:26:18 am

You are too funny...... Lol.. In the end, everyone is where they are suppose to be,, Live strong, and love hard again my friend.. Peace & Blessings to you and yours :)

Patti

7/17/2012 10:58:24 pm

What an inspiration! I'm going thru the same thing, husband cheating on me with the housekeeper he had hired! I moved out on our 16th anniversary. I'm 62 yrs. old and talk about being scared! So much for growing old together, worrying about the future funds, starting all over is overwhelming. But now that I look back and look forward I see that I will be a better person out of this. And as I have been told "Once a cheater always a cheater". I will add your page to my Favorites just to see how your doing. And yes, I am going to order your magnet!

Jerry

7/18/2012 02:14:39 am

There's something about 10 years w/ some people, apparently. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you & your kids. My world fell apart for me 2 yrs ago; kinda similar to your situation. Although I am putting the pieces back together still, my world feels like it's beginning to spin on its axis again & resume its orbit around the sun. All I can say is take care of your kids & make sure they know none of this is their fault. Love & chrish your treasures & they'll pull through too. It's a long, arduous, grueling experience of a process- but it does get better. Every day you wake up is a good day & better than taking a dirt nap.
Best of luck & God bless.

7/17/2012 11:32:01 pm

That bubble will burst and soon he'll realize what and who he lost.

You are fabulous... Shine on! :)

Michael

7/17/2012 11:51:29 pm

You are a very strong woman, and are very wise for using the transferable talents you have in a creative way to make a better life for you and your children. You have the right attitude and are a very strong, unselfish person. Someone who I greatly recommend is an amazing psychic named Dan Logan. Check out his website, he really is the real deal www. dan-logan.com. I am positive you serve as an inspiration for many people who are in the same exact situation. Blessings to you and your children!

Nancy

7/17/2012 11:53:45 pm

My husband left me for a woman 12 years younger than me and I know the pain of finding out that I was "replaced". I wish you all the best in selling your home and moving on. "What doesn't kill you makes your stronger".

FERNANDA

7/18/2012 01:18:12 am

The best revenge for the woman who took your husband or your husband that went with another woman is to let them keep each other. Let them deal with each other.
Stay out of this and go ahead live your beautiful life, watering your garden so the butterflies come visit.

Josie

7/18/2012 12:12:34 am

Elle, You are a class act! I Am certain that there is a man out there with Your name already across his heart. A man who will honor himself and so honor You, whether You are a size 2 or 22.

One of the respondents suggests that You may have something to do with Your husband's decision to cheat. Let me disabuse You from that idea. He cheated because he had no self-respect and even less integrity. Like many people, He also has no true and deep understanding of the meaning of "Love".

Although, in essence, we are all equal, there are those amongst us who have done a little more work on ourselves and life a bit truer and You Elle, is one of them. You are truly a class act and there is much good awaiting You.

One day You will look back and realise that his sexual indescretion and Your decision to not accept it, was the best thing that has ever happen to You,

I Am wishing You well on this leg, on Your journey of Life.

Sincerely,

Josie

aim

7/18/2012 02:12:59 am

Well said. I didn't agree with one of the comment also about it also was Elle fault that her husband committed.
I bet that individual is in the same brain wave length as a truly selfish person who will always just indeed think about his / her happiness

Another1Scorned

7/18/2012 12:17:23 am

Your sign and site has given me the best laugh I've had in a long time. My story is VERY similar to yours and I just want to say you're an inspiration in the way you are handling everything with humor and a great spirit. I may borrow your idea for a for sale sign when it's time to put my house up for sale! But you're right, this isn't the worst thing and life is good!

Betty

7/18/2012 12:37:41 am

You are going to be fine, I was 28 with three little ones when he Fell for the Bar maid, the home was forclosed on, he moved to Las Vegas, I rented an apartment worked two jobs, put myself through college, and worked by butt off to make sure the kids had what they wanted/needed. Today I'm 48 years old have three amazing adult children 3.5 Grand babies (one due in November 2012) My Life is amazing, and my cheating husband? well I have no idea where he is I know he got married to the bar maid, but we never heard from him again. Life gets better when you realize you can make your own life, you can be strong get your own retirement fund, and life a happy life husband or not.

You go girl you can do it :)

Tara

7/18/2012 12:44:09 am

Good. for . you. And that sense of humor you have will keep you strong. It'll be okay....I hope your journey forward leads to an even more beautiful life with your children.

Franki

7/18/2012 01:04:02 am

I don't live in Oregon and am not house hunting, but i LOVE your story. You did an incredible job on the website to sell your home that has become a house. Your emotions pour through each photo, caption, and description of each area of your former home. I truly hope that a deserving family with a little prince and princess is able to purchase the house and make it the home that it once was...

bilsee29

7/18/2012 01:22:37 am

Been there myself and agree it's a horrible thing to go through, married 22 years and had a daughter in college..... Keep your sense of humor and your smile .... this too shall pass and YOU will come out of all this a better, happier (believe it or not) person !!

Bubbah in NYC

7/18/2012 03:45:53 am

Why are you being forced to sell the family home? It's not like there are a whole lot of assets ($169K house? that's a tool shed in my neck of the woods) and you, presumably, are getting custody of 2 kids. Why aren't you staying in the house and he required to pay whatever child support is necessary, etc.? He made this happen. it's not like this is a 10,000 square foot mansion and millions are at stake and the 3 of you don't need the 14 bedrooms, this is a modest home of modest size for 3 people. What kind of father is this who is making you and the kids move out of the home? Are you now going to need to rent some tiny apartment somewhere?

Lis in NC

7/18/2012 04:55:06 am

Why don't you pay off her house for her so she can stay there?--or so she can sell it and buy something without all the memories? Her husband still has the same income and now there is one more mouth to feed, clothe, and apparently there is college tuition to pay for. Read the story. She can ask for alimony and child support, but there are limited resources here. WAKE UP.

Anntelope link

7/19/2012 04:19:42 am

ALWAYS remember this. Just because the stupid El Capiton has thrown you away DOES NOT MAKE YOU GARBAGE. It simply makes him a JOIK.

Dad of the Day link

8/3/2012 09:56:07 pm

An amazing story, takes much courage to do this especially knowing so many will be finding out about your story. I am sure there's going to be a rainbow somewhere down the road hanging over your head.
Wishing you nothing but te best in everything that you do. Be sure to give us a follow up in a few yrs. Let us know how you are doing.

Ann link

7/17/2012 10:16:05 am

Well spoken, Elle.

Lainie Rose

7/17/2012 03:51:02 pm

Ellie, You are an honest AND vivacious woman. They cannot take that away from you. The 22 year old yoga chick and El Capitan need to study KARMA.
Many blessings to you and your kiddos!

Kellie

7/17/2012 11:00:40 pm

I feel your pain, Elle! I caught my husband of 31 years cheating with a 27 y/o waitress. I packed his clothes and sent him on his way since I considered cheating a deal breaker. I was sick about if for the first couple of months (he was my college sweetheart), but after the crying and pain decided to pick myself up, get myself together and move forward. He actually did me a favor and I am having the time of my life. He married that waitress just 7 weeks after our divorce was final. The waitress who I invisioned as a hot, leggy blonde has turned out to be a plus size girl with 12 tatooes, an eyebrow piercing, tongue piercing and 3 children under the age of 10. LOL Karma blows big guy!!!

Cori link

7/18/2012 01:44:50 am

This womens response Lainie Rose tells it best!!! KARMA.... I love it.
I was cheated on after 21 years of marriage and helped put my husband through law school. I was a stay at home mom with two children and happy to be a full time mother. My ex discouraged me working outside of the home of any sort. I was the volunteer mother in all the classrooms and all the extra activities. Low and behold he left me for the law assitant not long after we started his own law firm. I guess being the big honcho went to his head. My friends laugh with me that she must have been great at doing her dictation........ha ha!!!! It was tough getting back in the work force after being home 18 years. I have done it. My kids are grown and thriving even after all the transisitions and I am fine too. The girlfriend lives in the big fancy home that I found for our family that I was replaced. He has not married her to date and its been almost 10 years. The major point I want to say is its ok to be a little bitter. Life is not always fair. We do the best we can and I know you will sell your home. I wish you the best of luck and their is life after ex's.

Karen P.

7/18/2012 02:05:38 am

Couldn't have said it better, Lainie Rose! Soooooo true! And when the Captain and Yoga Chick break up (and they will), he's going to still have to pay that child support! Elle, you'd like to be a fly on his wall when he comes to that realization!! Don't make it easy on him, he didn't you!!:)

Becky

7/17/2012 11:34:06 pm

Yes, very well spoken! Good for you for picking up the shattered peices and moving ahead with such grace. My parents divorced when I was five for the very same reason. I am so proud of my mom for raising us on her own and standing up for herself and leaving him. P.S. It doesn't matter what size you are...NOBODY deserves to be treated like that.

Jacqueline

7/18/2012 12:52:43 am

I just read your blog and I can relate how you feel. For me I was married 18 years and we had a handicapped son together. He had an affair with a co-worker and I was going through school just obtained my AA and finishing up an intern program. 2 months before I finished I found out of the complete betrayal.. They actually married 4 months after our divorce and it's been 9 years now. In the beginning I never thought I make it through it all. My son recently was placed in a care home since I cannont care for him myself. As for my ex..well, they are losing their house in a short sale and now live in a dumpy rental.. All the things they had the big house, expensive vacations, nice cars seem to have slipped away. It's been a long battle of adjustments but I can say now I'm ok being alone and I'm hoping for a great future. You sound strong and you have healthy kids you're lucky things will get much better :)

Sarah

7/18/2012 06:59:21 am

Wow, reading these comments is scary, what the heck is wrong with these men?

I was married 25 years, 2 great kids in university and my ex has an affair with a coworker 10 years my junior! The story never changes.

I can assure you that life goes on and that mine has never been better, I am fitter and find joy in my life each and every day! Enjoy your newfound freedom and keep your chin up...you rock!

JC link

7/17/2012 10:17:12 am

Just wanted to say, my ex-wife cheated on me and our two kids and I felt like crap for quite a while until I was able to forgive her. After that, it got better quicker. Just trying to say, you'll get over him and things will start to look up. Good luck!

Amy Hardesty

7/17/2012 10:19:04 am

Elle, I just adore you! I love your outlook on life and how you approach love and loss. Your words could not be more true. When we lost our baby I remember you telling me that when you lost yours you were in just as much pain. But that you now had miss Josie to love on and I would soon have a baby to love on as well. I have Piper and one on the way. All of that to say you will be such a blessing to the next man in your life, your dedication to all you do is what makes you amazing! Hang in their lady, lots of prayer for you. Amy

7/17/2012 10:28:31 am

maybe if you had done a few sit-ups, done some push-aways from the table, he may have not left you

Elle

7/17/2012 02:35:19 pm

"T" - you bring up a good point - let me ask you - how many push-ups can you do in general. :)

Raye

7/17/2012 05:20:56 pm

Proud of you Elle . Keep going in your positive direction. I am hoping that at some point you and your former husband will seek counseling to mend the breakdown in communication that brought both of you to this point. The 22 year old is actually effectually a symptom of undiscussed unmet need on your ex's part and he will need to explore that when the newness wears off with her (they have actually proven that the brain chemistry blocks a person from recognizing the real person they think is "WOW" when first involved with them-it's the body's design to cause sex to procreate. Then after you get down to the real people and the things of life. You and he may still have an opportunity at some later point. Takes work on both parts as you need to find out the part you have in this( I'm not being judgmental-you may have been doing something unknowingly and he didn't really know how to talk to you about it.

Raye

7/17/2012 05:35:09 pm

Proud of you Elle. Keep positive. I hope that at some point you and your ex will consider counseling. the 22 year old is actually a symptom of his uncommunicated (to you) unmet need, and not necessarily sex. He will need to find out what it is after his lust dies down. (They have proven that people when they are in a new relationship cannot see the other person's faults. It's the body's design to get people to have sex and procreate.) You play a part in this too. You may have been doing something you were not aware of and maybe he felt he wasn't able to know how to tell you. It will require the both of you to get past the pointing of fingers, and the hurt (symptoms) to get to the truth and be brave enough to help each other fix your marriage. You both may be able to salvage your marriage. It won't be easy, but it can be worth it. This is from my experience

Andrew

7/17/2012 07:57:09 pm

T, I have a smokin' hot wife, and she gives great stuff. Did that stop me from cheating? Nope. It's the heart of man that leads him astray, not the body of a woman.
T, I'm glad you weren't around when my beautiful wife was hurting so deeply. I'd done enough damage without your help. Thank God we survived. I clearly don't deserve her.
How very trollish of you to hide behind the letter T and sling heartless words of judgement at the heart of woman who is clearly hurting.

13yearsgone

7/17/2012 09:04:39 pm

I'm going through the same thing, except the "woman, used VERY lightly" is also married with 2 kids of her own..... WOMEN of this world PLEASE hear what you are doing to these families and children. If you believe you have found the love of your life that is married to another woman then WAIT until he is divorced, STOP being so selfish and only caring about your needs... There are kids involved and that makes you a SICK person to not care about a family and how they will end up after this... The only thing that makes me feel better about my case, this case and all the other cheating cases out there is that this too WILL happen to the girl, This man WILL cheat on them too and then we get the satisfaction of glowing when we realize that they are going through the same pain they helped put us through. Karma ladies.. Some say she is a "itch" I say she is lovely :)

7/17/2012 10:58:28 pm

"T" - if you ARE the home wrecker....if he cheated on his wife...he will SURELY cheat on YOU! Once a cheater...ALWAYS a cheater!

Sarah link

7/18/2012 12:57:44 am

T might want to look up asshole.com, probably cause he's doing the same to his wife whom washes his cum smelling underwear from the hiv infected whore he has a roach infested motel....just sayin lol

7/18/2012 01:03:22 am

Wow, "T"....you are a class act...SUPER classy...You should be proud...

Elle, you are fantastic. The same things happened to me...I am a changed person now but I am so glad I found out now and not later. My son and I are doing great and he can have the 20 year old he left us for. And, T, I am super fit but he peaced out anyway, the loser that he is..a boy, not a man..so come say something like that to my face

Deb

7/18/2012 01:18:01 am

Elle, As far as "T" goes.....this person is trying to get things stirred up. We all know how shallow a statement that is. The more people who respond to "T" the more satisfaction he/she gets. EVERYONE.....ingnore the jerk!

Amanda

7/18/2012 01:26:16 am

Elle, you ROCK! Don't let any nay-sayers get you down. They just live negative lives themselves. You are doing the right thing for you and your kids. Keep up the good work! Each day will get easier. :0)

A woman revived

7/18/2012 01:32:42 am

Elle,

I feel as if I just read the story of my life from 12 years ago. Just a heads up, I have been re-married (at my same rounder size) for the last 7 years to an AMAZING man who "sees" me inside and out and loves it all! With your sassy, independent, strong, humorous personality Good men will be flocking your way whether yo want them or not!

beccajess

7/18/2012 01:41:21 am

excellent response!!!

7/18/2012 05:14:43 am

Elle, "T" is an idiot. I mean that truly. To say something insensitive during a time when you're going through a virtual "death" is just reprehensible. Elle, you are a beautiful woman and as so many others have posted, your husband will regret his decision.

Brenda

7/18/2012 05:23:04 am

WTH?! All I can say is this comment is COMPLETELY inappropriate and uncalled for. Not EVERY man is looking for Barbie and I think it is "piggish" for you to even suggest.
Elle you reply was classy...wish i had your restraint :)

Beckfordmonk

7/18/2012 06:00:18 am

Elle,

I hope you know that all these people making comments about your weight are just upset that you took control of the situation and took care of yourself. Commenting on women's bodies is a way of controlling them and oppressing them. The focus on looks, as much as anything else, polices women, and the men who indulge in such behaviors don't even realize that they are part of a system that was here before they were, and controls them, too. The focus on weight (and even breasts) is part of a societal construct that has nothing to do with universal truths about beauty. And your value in this world is not determined by relation to men, but you know this.

That said, you are beautiful, strong, so so intelligent, and you deserve a standing ovation for the way you've handled this situation. You have my support, and you can clearly see, the support of a vast community of intelligent, strong men and women.

As for the 22 year old. I am 28 and I can't handle hanging out with 22 year olds. When I was online dating, almost all of the men I dated put 25 as the very youngest age they were willing to consider for dating purposes, but many of them wanted to be with someone their age at least. At my age, I know a lot of the crap I put my husband through is due to my inexperience and immaturity. A 22 year old? Never mind! I don't even want to think about it! You are a gem. Your character is beyond reproach, and your sense of humor is awesome. Full stop.

I wish you all the best, but I also *know* you will be fine. You don't need our well-wishes. You have this. :)

Janie

7/17/2012 02:41:43 pm

I am guessing 'T' is the 22 year old!?!?

madison

7/18/2012 02:59:24 pm

My thoughts exactly!

Mitzi

7/17/2012 02:51:55 pm

Seriously, T???? Since when does the size of a women EVER constitute an acceptable "reason" to cheat????? And by the way, I am not overweight, just sick of those who feel that the victim's weight/size/shape/etc. give the hubby a free ticket to indulge his lust. Commitment, honor, and vows remain regardless of who gains or loses weight... just sayin,

none

7/19/2012 04:18:38 am

Are you stupid? The *change* in size of a woman is precisely the reason men cheat. I have done it. My wife blew up (gained 25 pounds) after we got married, and I cheated a few times. She found out, got mad, I told her I wasnt attracted to her anymore, she was hurt, then understood and acknowledged it. Its human nature for man to be attracted to slim, busty women, which my wife was but lost. I guess I'm lucky because she forgave me and redoubled her efforts to lose the weight. It is now lost, she is hot again, and she says (and I'm sure she means it) that in a way she is glad that I cheated because it really pushed her to be a better person, not just in looks but in willpower and strength. Our sex life is better than ever and I actually want her to go out with me now. Life is always best when you can turn a bad situation into a good one.

Beckfordmonk

7/19/2012 04:52:59 pm

Mr."none" must have the IQ of a houseplant, and about the same level of worldliness and awareness. I feel sorry for the people around him. He should read a book on human nature and the fluidity of beauty standards sometime.

jaimey

7/17/2012 02:54:02 pm

riiiiiiight, because SHE has everything to do with HIM Putting his dick where it doesn't belong. HIS choice. PERIOD.

Iknowright

7/20/2012 06:46:09 am

Silly U...mr. none...your wife might be getting a little something from the buffet... that might explain why she is so glad...especially since you gave her a lesson of what to do...I'm almost certain it can't be U...I can see your beer belly growing from here oh and your ridiculous is showing...really??...tehehe

b robe

7/17/2012 03:00:51 pm

T- You're mean and nasty and likely trying to get a rise out of someone. Well here it is... no matter a persons size, age, hair color etc. there is nothing uglier than mean. Lack of compassion and undue judgement is hideous. Bet you will be alone one day too. You can lose weight but you can't lose hatefulness.

Carol37

7/17/2012 11:45:42 pm

Couldn't have said it better myself B Robe. I feel sorry for T. People that are mean to others are never happy, no matter how "hot" they think they are. You will always be ugly T.

colleen link

7/18/2012 12:48:59 am

i agree with b robe. T must have low self confidence and not think to highly of herself to go after a married man. when something is wrong with a person deep down inside they will do things like this to make them self feel better. "oh he left me for her im the better one" in fact you are the worst and will be labled a home wrecker for life. hope you can live with that. better one hmmm guess misery love company.

Elle you are a perfect person and your chance will come. i wish i had your mind set. i to have went through a rough time. my 2 babies are the same ages as her 2 babies and my heart still in pcs and its been 2 yrs. one day all the women like us will be happy again and with much much better men than they ever were. love ya stay perfect!

Britster

7/18/2012 12:49:58 am

A woman's true beauty shows in her smile not in her pant size. Ellie, no matter what comes of this please don't let this make you who you are keep strong and remember sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, lose in order to to gain, sometimes we have to be broken so we can be whole again. I wish you and your beautiful children the strength to move past this hard time in your life, hard times are blessings too. Once you let go of the past you can find your new happiness. Best Wishes!

val

7/17/2012 03:07:39 pm

T, you're an idiot! You're probably one of those dumb, superficial wanna-be god's gift to women type of men that thinks a real woman is a size 5. No. We come in all shapes and sizes and for the record, our shapes and sizes don't define us in terms who we are spiritually, mentally, emotionally and best of intellectually. Get a life.

George V

7/17/2012 03:14:08 pm

Hey you idiot, there is a right way to get separated (not by cheating and leaving two kids without their father). I do not know how old they are, but they need their dad in their life.

Susan

7/17/2012 03:18:57 pm

You try carrying two children in your body. Then try to exercise and be there for them, the house and the husband. Good luck with that by the way as it is not easy to do!

Raven link

7/17/2012 03:26:35 pm

It has nothing to do with situps or pushing yourself away from the table. It is the part of him that is broken. You can blame others but it is the persons own lack of self control. I have known many men that strayed and were sorry for it, most lost their familys and their homes. Others took that chance and worked it out with their wives and lots of counciling. Its funny how men and some women just people on their looks. Not what they have brought into the home. A clean house, look after your cloths, cook means, run errands, yard work, just so they can come home and put their feet up. Not to mention the free child care while your working. When do the moms get to put their feet up or crawl in bed and stay there while they are sick. I love my husband very very much, he is messy from the word go, so I am always cleaning up after him, He used to wear size 34 jeans, now he wears 44. H was one of the sexiest men I have ever known, he still can get a twinkle in my eye even though he is not thinner. I won't love him less, I would love him to lose weight again, inside he is the man I love. I love the way he treats me, compliments me and they way he treats our children and grandchildren. I wouldn't trade him in for nothing. Give this lady a chance, he needs his head examined. He took his vows, it doesn't say if your skinny or if your partner is skinny or heavy. God doesn't care. As far as the 22 yr old, shes a kid, doesn't have experience, apparently has the morals of an ally cat or she wouldn't have gone out with a married man in the first place. It's very easy to say "no your married", end of story. I hope she knows what Carma is cause its gonna bite her in the ass. Men that cheat, will cheat again.

John

7/20/2012 03:32:00 pm

How does she know what Karma is? Do they teach Karma in the Church?

"Aniboo"

7/17/2012 03:57:36 pm

Had this happen to me....they don't need a reason to leave....it wasn't the weight, or that you were a *itch, etc., its usually because they have some inadequacy that can't be filled any other way. The sad thing is, on both sides of the fence, "if they do it with you, they will do it to you"...it's a vicious cycle. Some day he will realize what he did and won't be able to fix it. The best revenge is living well and giving him no reason to bitch to others about the "ex-wife". My kids are better for it, and so am I. Good luck to you and the kids, but I don't think you are going to need it. You're a strong, smart and honest woman who will bounce back and probably better than when you were with him. No doubt, a good man will see to it :)

Rosie link

7/17/2012 09:28:57 pm

"The best revenge is living well" was my mantra many years ago when my 1st husband traded me for a newer model. The newer model ended up with an alcoholic who drank vodka for breakfast and is now a widow in her 50s. Karma bites.

Raye

7/17/2012 04:59:25 pm

T, even though trying to keep yourself in good shape for yourself and for bringing pleasure to your spouse so he is not lost behind the kids, THAT is not THE deciding factor to the success of a relationship. Your comment is mean which tells me you haven,t yet reached the place in experience where you could appreciate a deeper relationship beyond surface self-centered pleasure.

Rose

7/18/2012 03:28:20 am

Excellent comment Raye.....It not until these men age with their young trophies that they realize it is not all about the physical.....expecially when their penis no longer works even with Vigra and Cialis....That when deeper stuff REALLY matters.....And when they age......they become more ugly against the trophy wife and it yells loudly to the public what type of shallow a**holes they are....I had two do this to me....I had a hot body, brains, a nice person but only average looks.....now they want me back......years later........Time and age is a wonderful thing for those who are honest and moral.....we improve..........they cheating ones dont! You are strong gorgeous and wonderful person Elle..... You can work on your body later but for now you are working on your kids and being a great mother and that is what a man should respect and value! You have a wonderful strength and go-getting attitude.....you are invaluable so dont sell yourself short! Keep on doing what you are doing.....you are quite a catch!

Vikinger

7/17/2012 05:51:39 pm

hope ure single, T. noone should have to put up with trashtalk like that

7/17/2012 08:45:53 pm

"T" you sound exactly like a man who would cheat b/c of his wife gaining some weight... Moron!

Shelly

7/17/2012 09:16:31 pm

A**HOLE! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

7/17/2012 09:19:14 pm

It has nothing to do with how you look, it is a disfunction in him as a man! People who do these types of things are Selfish and disfunctional people. Go back to his up bringing and i am sure you will see the circle of life.I am a mother of 4 and married for 22 years. i was with my husband for 26 years. I to had this dark hour drop in my lap as well for a past friend/flame/whatever you want to call it. The best revenge you can have is to let the women he cheated with have him because he is not a real man. Real men dont do that! Remeber, God rewards those who do right by their life and those who do wrong will get their reward as well. Sit back and watch. Your a better person than the two of them combined! Hold your head high and move on, let him swim in the mud and the muck! Let him live with the character he has to carry and the burden he has placed not only on himself but his family as well.

Melissa

7/17/2012 09:21:09 pm

If you have any any respect for yourself you would not need to knock down someone else. Until you have held the hand of someone who is deeply sick or dying you can not fathom how life is so precious. For me the turning point was my own very sick baby. I hope one day you can see a person for their soul and their hair, body, or other physical traits. We are defined by how we treat people and much love we can give to others through the simple act of helping another.

Jim

7/17/2012 09:48:17 pm

For better or worse is about sticking by your spouse during illness, plague, famine, monetary duress...it is not about being taken for granted and victimized by your spouse's self-indulgent weight gain.

Like it or not, had Elle not gained weight, he may have remained with her.

Having said that, Elle is a beauty and at a height appropriate weight would be a knock out. Looking good is a great form of revenge. Who know's, now that she's a celebrity she'll shed the weight, become a reality "star".

Oh, and the kids not seeing the sign? C'mon, please...where do they live?

7/17/2012 09:49:51 pm

FIRST OF ALL THIS MAN LEFT HIS CHILDREN THEY ARE THE TRUE VICTIMS OF THIS SITUATION. YOU SAID IT PERFECT ON YOUR SIGN "HE LEFT US". ANY MAN THAT CAN WALK AWAY FROM HIS KIDS FOR ANOTHER WOMAN IS A PIECE OF CRAP, AND YES I AM A MAN. AND T, IF HE LEFT HER FOR YOU, HE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR ANOTHER YOU ARE JUST HIS NEW RIDE AND EVENTUALLY THE NEW CAR SMELL GOES AWAY. AND WORSE HIS KIDS WILL REALIZE ONE DAY THAT HE WAS NOT A FATHER, HE WAS A SPERM DONOR. REAL MEN ARE DADDY'S!

7/17/2012 09:54:21 pm

Really????? grow up

Mimi

7/17/2012 10:19:06 pm

You are a jerk!! He cheated because he is a jerk, not because of the way she looks..

Becky Smith

7/17/2012 10:27:50 pm

So easy to be rude when you're anonymous, huh T?

Karen

7/17/2012 10:51:50 pm

T,
I'm almost sure you're a fat gross internet troll, nonetheless... Still a loser! There, you got the attention that you so greatly wanted... D!CK-Wad

Brooke

7/17/2012 10:55:15 pm

Wow..."T" you are an asshole! I hope that you find yourself in the same situation sometime...maybe you will see it isn't always about him leaving for a better looking woman. And if he is as shallow as you are...She is better off without him! What a jerk you are! I am reading her story and totally relating to how she feels because I have been left by a cheating man too...and to comment like that...you are just a low life. Period.

Mel

7/17/2012 10:55:33 pm

T- you are an idiot. More importantly you are ugly inside and out.. regardless of what you think you look like. No amount of "sit-ups" will change you for the better.

Mrs. H

7/17/2012 11:05:05 pm

Really? How odd of a comment! You are making it her fault that he cheated? We live in such a sad society where people can't respect others or themselves (yoga chick cheating with a married man- wow... a realationship that starts with cheating. I wonder if she thought about him cheating on her? If cheaters do it once they WILL do it twice and more I'm sure. Married man not respecting wife- I bet G-d is thrilled that you honored your word (not) or his family- what a great example you set for your kids! Have a wife and something on the side. Not to mention all of the trust issues you just handed to your children on a silver platter.

It makes you wonder about people doesn't it?!

Then you have people making comments that a marriage failed because of weight. Goodness. No wonder so many kids in our world are messed up!

Nicolr

7/17/2012 11:26:50 pm

Typical pig comment. He's either alone or will end up alone....karma

Tisha Maki

7/17/2012 11:52:55 pm

Really? Is that who you are? Wow, good luck to you in life "T," you're in for a long, miserable road, followed by quite the eternity with that little spot they have saved for you in hell. I'm thankful to have never known you.

Kristin

7/18/2012 12:02:43 am

Oh for pity's sake. T is just lurking...not worth the attention. Just ignore and don't feed the leech.

Deb

7/18/2012 01:22:24 am

I TOTALLY agree!!!!!! He/she wants attention. Its very obvious. They need to be IGNORED.

Miranda

7/18/2012 12:03:26 am

Your are an A** for replying like this! You should be ASHAMED! What would your MOTHER or FATHER think of you for putting this on here about her?!?!?!?1

stephanie

7/18/2012 12:06:29 am

T--you're an ASS go take your negativity back to the black hole you crawled out from!

Lynn link

7/18/2012 12:07:19 am

Oh yeah, T - superficiality fixes evvverything.

I guess the bright side is, Elle can always hit the gym, if she chooses to...

Ufortunately for you, all the pushups in the world can't fix 'stupid.'

Amanda

7/18/2012 01:27:45 am

OMG, Lynn! Where's the "like" button!

ang

7/18/2012 04:56:02 pm

OMG, Lynn -- love it.

Jennifer

7/18/2012 12:14:00 am

R u serious, jerk?

LadyHide

7/18/2012 12:17:51 am

whom ever you are "T" you shouldn't have even wasted your energy to type your ignorant words!! What does that have to do with what happened to her. Just goes to show that yes there are way too many idiotic people in this world!!! As for you Ms. Elle, you are an amazing beautiful woman, inside and out!!! You deserve all the good that life will bring to you!!! Don't let any of these lunatic, "self soothing" carpet munchers, get you down!!! All my love, Ladyhide!!!

Tina

7/18/2012 12:17:55 am

Remember there are Wedding vows! For Better or Worse! Weight shouldn't have anything to do with unconditional love!

Janie link

7/18/2012 12:18:33 am

Really "T"? I would be willing to bet you would be amazingly lucky and blessed to ever get a second look from a woman as beautiful, smart and witty as Elle! Matter of fact, you would be lucky to find someone half as amazing as she is!
Elle, the most therapeutic realization you will come to in time is, his cheating had nothing to do with you. He would have cheated on anyone he happened to be married to. AND there was nothing you could have done differently to keep him from cheating. HE is the one with the problem, not you! You are beautiful, smart, funny, forgiving and an amazing mother! You are very blessed and will, if you want, be a blessing to someone who will appreciate you! God bless you and keep you!

Lisa

7/18/2012 12:28:12 am

I'm sure with your lovely attitude and way of thinking you have many suitors!!

Laneyl

7/18/2012 12:36:51 am

WOW, I've heard the phrase, "young and stupid", but I've never heard of someone living it. With that foot in your mouth, be sure not to choke on your knee cap. You might try thinking before you 'speak'

Shann

7/18/2012 12:41:56 am

Who the hell do you think you are? Elle could be 600 pounds and would not deserve to be treated like that!! NO one does!!! Of course, maybe your guilty of the same thing El Captain is, and then of course you would say suck terrible things to some one you don't even know.

7/18/2012 01:45:07 am

Wow, first of all - I thought it awesome, the whole For Sale sign thing! Lol. Elle - you rock GF. Most of us suffer the heartache of abandonment (ahem, NO matter our body size & looks!!! Lol.) & it just sucks. Time, effort & supportive affirmations will heal. Being human, we ALL have issues & always will! Lol. It's the people who can see honestly in that mirror who stay in relationships, doing the work nec to get THROUGH things... Sadly, our world seems to be increasingly a throw-away society, caving into the coveting of more & more immediate gratifications...INCLUDING tossing human love aside bec they dont know what that is! Lol. Elle, you are not sitting there, pining & caving in. Instead you are taking action! Bravo. I do not see a vengeful woman in you - I see someone laying the cards on the table. I don't hear hatefulness coming from you at all. Since I don't know you, I am always open to my being wrong, lol. ...All too many people LOVE to blame others, (including the REAL victims!), point the finger, rip others to shreds - all to avoid that mirror! We ALL have choices, as adults - WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN CHOICES. Hence, your ex made HIS choices & you are hereby making yours. You are taking a very painful time in your life & turning it to the good! Amen sister! Best wishes on your house selling & even more importantly, on your heart healing. ~Ignore the haters - sadly, we have too many of those out there...spiritually sick people indeed. Focus instead on all the affirmations from other wonderful souls. Good for you, doing whatever you can to help facilitate your moving forward...I am going to check out your other sites as well. You seem intelligent, well-spoken w/a great sense of humor! Oh and Elle, I think it's your Guardian Angels giving you this 15 mins of fame GF!! Lol...Just please be leary, as your very vulnerable to predators right now; I am sure you know this. You may be blessed to make some new friends from this, I feel sure of that - just be careful of the sickos who will try to prey on you GF. God bless to you & your kids!!! Write me anytime Elle & count me as a new online friend! Thumbs up. :)

Michelle

7/18/2012 01:05:01 am

Really T...this is what your came on this site to do. Most people that point the finger havent looked in the mirror lately!

Elle, I think you are an amazingly strong and brave woman for putting your story out there! One foot in front of the other...everything gets better and easier with time! Whats the saying... Time Heals All Wounds... Good Luck selling your home!

Deborah

7/18/2012 01:05:50 am

So rude! There's always one.

Amanda

7/18/2012 01:25:13 am

To "T":If all you did was come here to be negative, you should leave. For goodness sake, if you are going to be critical, at least have the intestinal fortitude to write your NAME!

Kat

7/18/2012 01:25:56 am

You're a complete and utter idiot...

Shaia

7/18/2012 01:28:29 am

T... couldn't you have come up with something more original?

The truth is her weight was never the issue. How many men have cheated on their wives/girlfriends, some who have been supermodels? Case in point Hugh Grant, Tiger Woods, just to name two. Men cheat. Women do too. There are plenty of reasons for it that are specific to those doing it.

Elle, you are a wonderful woman. Your husband had issues and unfortunately just didn't know how to deal with them in an honest, open manner. You will overcome. It sounds to me like you are half-way there. Congratulations on being a survivor!

Tammy

7/18/2012 01:33:06 am

To T - Seriously!?? How old are you? Did your mommy leave the computer on? Maybe you need to do some exercises yourself? Like, shut-ups and go-aways!!!

7/18/2012 01:43:21 am

T- don't worry about the backlash. Your comment was shitty, but every "scroned" lady that has belittled you with their responses, much like what you did to this lady and thus making them no better than you, fails to see that every stroy has 3 sides. Her version, his version, and exactly what happen. Next time just work on your delivery.....

Toss

7/18/2012 01:46:01 am

T - If he fell in love with her looks and nothing else, its best he left.
Elle - Your blog is wonderful. As many others on here, I've been in your shoes. I fell to depression. Be strong for your children if not for yourself. I wish I had something like this back then.

laughing at them with you link

7/18/2012 01:51:48 am

this comment shows he now will have another child to take care of! only children find things to pick on when they want to divert the attention away from their own wrong doing. since her parrents dint teach her that being a hoe and home wrecker is a no no he will have to teach her and hope that in 10yrs when he ages and she dont she isnt on the prowl again.

7/18/2012 02:03:43 am

what an azz u r, T.......keep up the good work elle....time takes time....keep doing the right thing an u will go far...as far as the weight thing, u are beautiful as u are...me

Lorna

7/18/2012 02:12:27 am

T you are a piece work, I take it that you are a dude to be so insensitive. Just remember if you have a daughter (which I hope you don't) someone will treat her the same or worst! So good luck with that!!!

7/18/2012 02:29:33 am

T- I hope you get herpes and it spreads to your a$$hole.

Elle- you are AMAZING! I wish I were rich :( I would buy your house and give it to you. Stay strong sister!

Toss

7/18/2012 02:59:13 am

J - We could start a fund just to buy her house for her. :)

Louise

7/18/2012 04:14:51 am

I'm buying a magnet. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch for 40,000 to do the same. I would want to know that the cheating husband wouldn't benefit from this in any way! But either way, buying a magnet.

Ash

7/18/2012 02:49:29 am

LOSER

Sandy

7/18/2012 03:13:02 am

T,
You're an idiot.
S~

7/18/2012 03:18:22 am

T....since Elle is too sweet to tell you....I will. You are a total idiot. Oh....like that would have stopped her husband from cheating. It has nothing to do with Elle.....and everything to do with him. That's just in his genetic make up. There are many wonderful husbands that don't cheat when their wife gains a few pounds. If he didn't like it why didn't he tell Elle what bothered him. This could have been worked out. That's just an excuse. Him not trying to work on the problem and not giving the marriage a chance....is just him being a selfish, a coward and a quitter. Karma is in his cards! :)

julie

7/18/2012 03:40:39 am

WOW... if that is all you got from this, I feel very, very sorry for you. Rock on Elle

Alesha

7/18/2012 04:03:08 am

You know T you are absolutely right! Of course men only cheat on women with muffin tops... Puhleeze!!!!! I truly hope you get married one day yourself if you're not already. Just be sure to keep up with your gym membership! Because obviously the rock for a brain your carrying now prohibits common sense.

7/18/2012 05:05:10 am

T--You're an idiot!

Sandi

7/18/2012 05:54:08 am

Noticed 'T' didn't have the courage to put full name here.............50 bucks says it's a MAN.............doesn't matter her size, listen to the marriage vows and adhere to them.........

suzyq

7/18/2012 06:45:37 am

When my husband filed for divorce, he also tried to lay all the blame on me. He said it was because I couldn't get a handle on my severe clinical depression, because I had gained weight, because I had always handled all the bills (they annoyed him) and he thought I must be wasting money somewhere because we should have been rich instead of getting by.

Within a year of the divorce he was married to the girl he'd been dating on the sly; same age as both of us, same weight as me. Two years later she has been hospitalized for HER severe mood disorders, most of their utilities have been shut off for nonpayment, and our kids are staying with me despite the joint custody order because he can't keep food in the house. Oh yeah, and strangely enough, my clinical depression has been a lot easier to handle without a gigantic baby in the house blaming me for all his problems.

As seen on a poster from despair.com: The common link in all your failed relationships is YOU.

Sarah

7/18/2012 06:47:20 am

You are a complete jackass.

connie groth

7/18/2012 07:06:36 am

WOW T!!! what a real jerk you are. As she said size does not define who she is. People like you make me sick.

Nicolette

7/18/2012 07:46:20 am

T - What a heartless, disgusting, and cold thing to say. Whether or not weight was an issue the vows clearly state "for better or worse" and "forsaking ALL others"...I wouldn't be surprised if T was the 22 year old who ripped Elle's family apart. To be truthful, if a few extra pounds is enough of an excuse to step outside a marriage then he certainly wouldn't be there for the unfortunate and sometimes terminal circumstances that arise in life. Elle, you deserve a man that will ALWAYS be there and you are much better off without him. Karma has a way of teaching people lessons. If he'll do it to his wife and the mother of his children then he will certainly do it to an immature college girl who isn't smart enough to respect the sanctity of marriage. My heart goes out to you but hang in there...IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT. Chin up!

ang

7/18/2012 04:44:04 pm

The comment made by "T" is disgraceful. Ignore. They will get theirs.

jennifer

7/19/2012 09:38:10 am

Hey "T" you are a giant loser. When men make excuses to go have everything they want and think they deserve and they demolish the safety, well being, and trust of thier children. The wide path of distruction they cut through the souls of thier childeren is inexcusable. Elle will not have to say one negative thing about her ex for the kids to know what he has done. Children are not stupid. Mommy and daddy got divorced, daddy is happy and too busy with his new "piece" to be with us, mommy is sad but busting her but alone trying to make it up to us. My husband went through this with his ex. My step son hates her now. Not because we told him what she did, but because she has no moral character and makes him sick. Sleazy is as sleazy does. Elle you are better off. Little did you know you were living with a man that had a hole where his ethics should be. You don't want to give your beautiful soul to an E-hole do you?

Franny

8/4/2012 01:32:55 pm

To "T", just so you know...you can always gain or lose weight...but you're a disgusting human being who is probably hideous to look at...and that is just something that can't be fixed.

Elle, you go girl! What an inspiration!

Taylor

7/17/2012 10:29:41 am

So, I'm think you and all of this is pretty awesome. I mean, I live in a one horse town in Texas and this was on the news...probably because nothing interesting happens here, but anyway, good for you! Keep going strong! I'm the kid of divorce because of cheating and I'm a strong, independent woman because of that, so there is hope for you and your kids!

ellie

7/17/2012 10:38:19 am

I think you're a strong woman. Don't let others negativity get you down. I feel your pain and I feel your hurt but your humor goes a long way. And you seem very sweet. I hope you sell that house and start something wonderful with your kids. I know one day you will have a man who loves you and knows your worth, obviously your ex didn't. A real man doesn't cheat. God Bless.

Hannah

7/17/2012 10:40:20 am

UGH F*** CHEATERS. You are helping so many other women with your blog. Thank you.

Howard K

7/17/2012 10:44:27 am

I love the fact that you're being strong. What a great idea that you have created. Stay strong and hope you sell the house. Stay happy, just saying...

Angela

7/17/2012 10:45:37 am

Kudos to you! Do what you have to d to provide for you and your kids and if your ex-husband is fine in the matter you do so that's great! I love the fact that no matter what anyone says you have a great humor about it all. Your house is beautiful and I hope this brings you the publicity you need to get it sold!

Jennifer

7/17/2012 10:46:09 am

I believe you are righteous in your words and thoughts and I LOVE your humor. Those who say the harsh words have never been in the situation you are in, and perhaps if they were, they were probably on the opposing end! If my family were up to moving your house is completely gorgeous but I don't believe that packing up and moving 9 states from my family is an ideal move:). You should right a book I loved the details in your descriptions! I think you should take a lily from your garden and plant it in a planter to carry your memory that is absolutely the sweetest memory you could make for you little angel. Keep your head high and always keep yourself and your kiddos first! Good luck on your new chapter and I pray for your family.

Reannon

7/17/2012 10:47:25 am

If a woman steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep the bastard...

lee

7/17/2012 02:40:09 pm

your comment is oh so true , love it love it love it , thats what i did with mine divorced his ass and found myself a new improved husband, did and upgrade so to speak ...... just sayin lol

ann

7/17/2012 04:44:45 pm

the woman didnt steal her man.. her man made the choise... he could have said no....

Janie link

7/18/2012 12:45:33 am

Ann, you are absolutely right except, it sounds like the young girl knew she was getting involved with a married man. I do agree that HE is the one who took vows and made what is supposed to be a life-long commitment so he is ultimately responsible for the failure of his marriage. It would be a little more difficult to cheat if less women believed the "My wife doesn't understand me" lie.

Mimi

7/17/2012 10:21:31 pm

Well said...

7/17/2012 11:02:58 pm

No doubt...and she must always remember that he cheated on his wife to be with her, and will probably do it again. Who wants someone like that?? I would never, ever be with a man who cheated on his wife. But some people have no morals, I guess.

Ladyhide

7/18/2012 12:21:28 am

AMEN TO THAT!!!

mags

7/17/2012 10:47:35 am

Sorry about the cheating husband, hope you find a hot stud to help with those adorable children!

Rikkie

7/17/2012 10:48:39 am

Boy do I relate! My husband of 20 years left for a young pup on the internet without any warning. Said he was going to work and that was that.
My daughter, me and him all agreed to have mom sell her house and move into our new home due to her safety. After we moved into our beautiful home off he went. When my mom found out he left she showed me all the money she gave him claiming it was for emergencies. Yes, he took all her life savings, all my money, and all my daughter's money. Not to mention my daughter admitted to me that he raped her. She's 43 now and with me still. My mom never got over that and passed away on Xmas day 2007. We lost everything due to my lawyer walked out over many promises on the day of our divorce. Now we sit still crying over it all. I was a caregiver for my mom for 10 years and didn't work. Now at 60 I have nothing left and neither does my daughter. I wish we could buy a house again but I don't see it. My daughter will not even think of dating after all this.
I'm glad you're not bitter but I don't see that in my case. He has trashed us terribly and is now back in our state and married and also has the other "woman" living here also. Hideous, I say! So on that note, good luck to you.

Kimberly

7/17/2012 10:48:50 am

You sound like an amazing person. I wish you only the best. I am one of the "readers" who heard you loud and clear. Good luck to you.

monica

7/17/2012 10:50:07 am

omg i know where you coming from my ex husband cheet on me too and it was hard but i have the best thing my son with out him ill be lost keep your head up you didnt lose anything he is the loser who let a good and strong women go:)

Jenn

7/17/2012 10:50:46 am

Good for you! I have been divorced now for over 2 years after a 21 year marriage. I have had to live in the same house with my ex because we have not been able to sell the house yet and neither of us can afford it on our own. Kudos to you for your creative marketing and your positive attitude. My ex and I are friends for the kids and sounds like you and your ex are doing the same. You will have bad days but I now have a boyfriend that is 14 years younger than ME and he is amazing! You also don't have to quit shopping at Lane Bryant to catch a man, I didn't! :)

Dawn

7/17/2012 10:51:26 am

I love your attitude and I'm so glad to see someone with the ability to see outside of herself and her hurt to set aside (although I know first hand that crying behind closed doors will happen) her feelings for her childrens well being.
Hang tight and stay strong. What a wonderful mother you are and what a loser of an ex husband you have. I know some will think I am being too harsh on your husband but I think he deserves it.
Hope the house sells quickly and that you and your children are able to find something that is just as special to you.

Jerry

7/17/2012 10:51:49 am

First of all God Bless you.Second of all stop blaming yourself. Contrary to popular belief a spouse, male or female doesn't cheat because of anything that the other spouse wouldn't, couldn't or never did for them. It comes from not being enough for themselves. I know, my husband cheated on me. We are five years removed, got a lot of outside help, spend alot of time together and have moved on. I'm writing a book and I wish you would do the same. From what you've written so far it sounds like a best seller.

Kristin - Boston, Ma

7/17/2012 10:52:17 am

I love that you are not afraid to speak your mind. I'm sorry for your loss. Wish you all the best. Enjoy those kids! If he cheated on you, his wife and the mother of his kids, he will cheat on her some day.

Dan

7/17/2012 10:53:16 am

I am a former Marine and Beirut veteran, and getting divorced was the toughest thing I ever went through in my life- and that was 30 years ago. However, it made me return to school to earn my BS degree in engineering, met my real wife (vs the first practice wife), have a great son heading to USC in a few weeks. The best revenge- if that's what you want- is to prosper, and it looks like you are. My x-wife was living a double life, carrying on as if she were a single student, while I was paying her bills and serving in a combat zone in the USMC. Yeah, I loved her back then and thought my life was over- it was as if she died, but there was no funeral, friends abandoned me and family didn't understand. My prayers to you during this time. Sorry, I don't have a pat or magic word to say to you during this time, but wish you the best. You'll learn that your ex-husband did you a favor!

Rapheal Luis

7/17/2012 10:53:49 am

You're an idiot. just sayin'

jaimey

7/17/2012 03:14:50 pm

And you are a GENIUS!!! Oh wait.....

Lucy Furrr

7/17/2012 11:43:12 pm

Go die in a fire.

Brenda Strickland

7/17/2012 10:54:08 am

You are one fantastic lady. I so admire you for making the best of a situation and proceeding to create a new life for you and tour children. You are a great Mother and EX to put aside your hurt, pain and anger and boldly start over. May God Keep You and yours and I am sure he has great plans for you.

Bill

7/17/2012 10:54:52 am

Congratulations! What an excellent marketing idea. It is truly a gift that you have, so creative and so loving. You have a strength within that when combined with your obviously delicious sense of humor makes you such a wonderful lady. I continue to be amazed at the abject stupidity of the male of the species. Please continue to be the loving, warm and wonderful woman that your Mother loves so dearly.

kym

7/17/2012 10:55:50 am

you have a tremendous amount of strength .. I commend you for making lemonade out of the lemon.. and stop knocking your size .. Children tend to wreck havoc on bodies.. just be you. Hell if revenge is even on the backburner take this time to love yourself , get in the best shape of your life and make him realize that he greatly underestimated you. * honestly what would a 22 yrold ever have to offer a man in his 30's other than the sex? Hey hot mama .. you can be a puma too.. what good would it do? maybe distraction ..maybe but I digress .. you have you time now, travel , sing a loud do all the things that you may have put off being a devoted wife and show your children that joy and peace of mind are simply that a state of mind.. good luck to you woman :D

Sandy

7/17/2012 10:56:09 am

Hello,
There is no need to contact me I just wanted to say Good For you!! I wish I would have made a sign but I have a feeling that mine would not have been permitted on the web or news lol. My ex left me in a hospital bed in our home the day after we found out that I would be in a wheel chair for about two years because of an accident I had. Then three days after he left he got together with his ex-sister-in-law yes HIS BROTHERS EX WIFE!!! When he left he said none of this was my fault it is just he wanted to do things in his life that I would not be able to do in a chair and if I thought i would ever get out of the chair I was kidding myself. Well I am not completely out of the chair yet but everyday I struggle to get up and stand on my own and I can walk about 30 feet now. The best news tho is I am going to be married again (sucker for punishment) lol My whole point is yes this may hurt like heck now but if I can make it from a hospital bed to walking down the isle and even thanking God that he did leave because he had many faults that not a lot of women would have put up with for so long (13 years) like I did. Anyways I am truely happy now and will be marrying a wonderful, understanding, loyal man. The only thing I had a bit of trouble with was dating. It took me two years to think it through and another six months to just do it. I unlike my ex am loyal and felt as though I was cheating on him when I even thought about a date. (even tho we were divorced already.) Well anyways stay strong and by the way your nicer than I am because I would be keeping the house and telling him to kiss my grits lol

Sue Russ

7/17/2012 10:56:31 am

I so appreciate your REALISTIC approach to the travesty of your marriage! The children, above all, must be protected from our 'bad' feelings because they will continue to love the 'traitor'; as they should. When they are older they will understand the particulars and will make their judgements as they see fit. It is not our job to usurp their admiration and honor of the other parent. It is not an easy role to assume, but ones character and maturity require this if they are to receive the respect of those children when they become adults. God bless you, Elle, I hope you receive an acceptable offer on your home and your continue on making your life one in which you will always be able to hold your head high. Honesty is it's own reward. I would cherish you as my friend, S

Eileen

7/17/2012 10:57:24 am

Hilarious! I just happened to be looking at my homepage and your very interesting and inventive sign caught my eye. You really ought to be in the comedy writing business!! There's no doubt in my mind that you will come out of this way ahead. And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if El Capitan wakes up one day and wonders, "What the F--k have I done? It will be far to late by that time and he will get what he deserves - much regret. Good luck selling. I'm sure it will happen soon.

Robert

7/17/2012 10:57:41 am

I know this post is long so I'd like to say sorry for that right now. I'm impressed with your attitude. I've been cheated on before and while I don't have kids I still know the pain of giving your heart to someone just to have them trash it. I can honestly say you seem to be more of an inspiration simply because of the outlook you keep on things. It sucks that it seems like it's the good people in the world that tend to get screwed over the most. I just wanted to say good on you for not being that ex-wife that wants some sort of hardcore vengeance. I don't think I'd be the same way. Being cheated on in the past, my reaction have been less than civil to say the least. Don't let people get you down by nasty and rude comments and the size of a person isn't ho the person is. Hell, I found out who my true friends were back when I was 325 pounds. Once I lost that weight suddenly everyone was friendly but I remembered who as there before and who left me as friends or more because of how I looked. It's all about personality and having a good soul, both of which you seem to have. I hope the best for you and good luck with that house. It really does look amazing and if I lived in Washington I'd definitely check it out.

Amy link

7/17/2012 10:58:07 am

I'm sorry this happened to you and your children. Marriage these days is not treated as sacred, honorable and infinite. I'm in my second marriage now but my first failed miserably. However I have somethhing I didn't have before: a marriage based on faith and the love of God. It's not for everyone perhaps and this isn't a plea to become christian (if you aren't already) this is just a letter of support from a total stranger 100's of miles away who is admiring you for your courage, HUMOR and love for your children. I hope your house sells soon - I betcha it will now that this was on yahoo news!!! Maybe you'll land a role on Dr. Phil.. OR the Bachelorette!

God bless,
Amy from Cleveland, Ohio

Bill

7/17/2012 10:58:43 am

Maybe you should be advertising for a new husband instead and keep the house. You certainly seem to have a great personality. How are you on the eyes would be the next question I suppose. Anyways, this is not a pickup comment, just sayin. I'm old anyways but went through what you are going through now quite a while back. Stayed with her though for the kids. Good Luck and you should post a picuture on your site.

CConner, Ph.D. link

7/17/2012 11:02:27 am

You're pretty awesome. I'm an author out of Houston who happened upon your story and also shared it on FB. With your attitude in this thing, if you're not careful you might just find your assets forthcoming. God bless you and I wouldn't be surprised to hear a lot more about you soon.

Channon

7/17/2012 11:02:29 am

God Bless you and your children - I think your personality and laughter will get you through the rough patches but your children's smiles and laughter will melt your bad days away... Being a mother of 3 and wife of 20 years I would have handled it the same way. I hope you find someone who treasures you for you.. PS loved the lane bryant capri comment... <3

Dan

7/17/2012 11:03:14 am

First, I know coming from a guy this might sound incredible, but I really feel your pain.

Secondly, I was curious if that was you in front of the barn or the BMW in both your business websites. There are stupid men out there who did like your ex did, and usually leave a woman that I could only dream to marry myself. That is why I ask that.

Also I see that part about the size of your Lane Bryants. Having not seen you..it is NOT the reason. Look at Jessica Simpson after her child, and really that is NOT a reason for him to walk out on you!

I've gone through alot in my life, and I have a therapist that keeps telling me that I shouldn't rule marriage out in my life, but when I read stories like yours, it makes me feel that marriage down the road for me, probably isn't going to happen.

I feel your pain, and I hope you really stick it to that guy. I also wish the best for yourself. Please keep in mind, that not all men are like your ex, and I think you took the right route to making your feelings known. If anything, what you are doing with your sales approach, is a healthy way to release your anger.

I wish the best for you and your kids...

Dan
Nashua, NH

jeanie

7/17/2012 10:17:36 pm

dan ...with a sweet attitude like that any girl would be blessed to have a man like you in your life :)best wishes

7/17/2012 11:03:26 am

Best of luck to you and your kids.

Tia

7/17/2012 11:03:48 am

I think you are a brave person you are doing what most woman can not... down to protecting the kids. I wish you all the luck for your future and theirs.

Nacole

7/17/2012 11:04:27 am

I enjoyed reading your blog and looking at the beautiful house you and your "ex" husband built together. It looks like you had a picture perfect family. I want to commend you for want you are doing and even though I am not in the market for a house---you surely brought a smile to my face. Keep your head up high and continue to live for your kids and yourself. Be blessed

cherri

7/17/2012 11:06:28 am

please take down the negative sign. your kids will hate it. and resent you for it. ask me how I know.

Jaimey

7/17/2012 03:19:32 pm

Her Kids are completely fine, maybe you should read a line or two... she states that they don't know a thing about it and she is positive and happy ESPECIALLY for their benefit. And I know her kids, THEY ARE GREAT!!!

Elle

7/17/2012 03:31:28 pm

Cherri - thank you for your concern. :) For the record, we see a counselor who supports the sign and feels (as we do) that living through the experience is far different from a sign in the lawn. It's a sign they have not seen and are not exposed to. You have every right to be concerned for the kids as they are my first concern as well. :)

Kym link

7/17/2012 11:06:49 am

Just wanted to give you some love. Sorry for the circumstance. He seems to have lost a winner. Great attitude, fun personality - I wish you the best in your new start to life!!

Rachel Connolly

7/17/2012 11:07:00 am

It would be nice if you had vistor "counter" at the bottom of the website so we know how many people visited it due to your creativity. :)

Olga

7/17/2012 11:07:08 am

God Bless You!! Thanks for sharing your story. It's not just about selling a home, it's a whole new begining for you and your children. An unexpected begining that I hope will not be too difficult for you. And judging by your amazing attitude and outlook on what is going on right now I have no doubt you will succeed and prosper as you move forward. I am sorry for what you have gone through but I admire your strength and determination!! Good luck on the sale of your home and may God bless all your endeavors. Sincerely, Olga M.

Lulu Mares link

7/17/2012 11:08:32 am

It sounds like "El Capitan" was more of a "Private A.." if you know what I mean. I hope you get a General next time. I live in Beaverton also, and do a lot product marketing, if you need help with your business email me. Lulu

Sara Jane

7/17/2012 11:08:32 am

Well, I have to say, I respect and admire your strength. I wish with all my heart I could move to Oregon and buy your beautiful little cottage just so you could have that closure.

I recently went through a divorce myself, also a victim of a 22 year-old. She may like yoga too...I didn't stick around long enough to find out.

Those dark hours? The feeling of losing the one person that kept you tied to reality? Yep, I know those feelings. We thankfully did not have children or even a house to split. I simply packed a bag of clothes, a box of books and lived in the back storage room of my cafe for 3 months before I finally decided to sign the papers, sell my business and get the hell out of dodge. I got all the way from California to Colorado before the money ran out.

I can only imagine the nasty emails, phone calls, and comments you have received but, I want you to know that I applaud your creativity and the fact that you still have a sense of humor. It took me a long time to get my head back on straight and realize that I have a whole lot of life left to live...and that by losing my husband maybe I could find myself again.

Elle; from one divorced, scorned, and still slightly bitter woman to another, I wish you love, laughter, and all the happiness you and your children deserve. I hope you sell the house quickly and as painlessly as possible.

Sara Jane, Colorado

trish

7/17/2012 11:09:49 am

I'm glad you realized that you and your children are more important than dwelling on bad things you can't change. Smiles are contagious. Unfortunately frowns and anger are as well. I wish more people could understand the impact their mood and attitude have on their children. With your new outlook on life, I feel sure your home will sell soon.

Anne

7/17/2012 11:10:12 am

I enjoyed your blog! You have great resilience! I wish you all the success in the world! What a great way to turn a terrible experience into triumph! Continue to show your kids we always get to define ourselves, we are not defined by others actions :)

Jessica

7/17/2012 11:10:17 am

You are awesome. You have obviously been going through hell, and from the looks and sounds of it, you're coming out stronger, and with your sense of humor and a positive outlook on life both intact. That is not only rare, but commendable. Life handed you a lousy hand, and you're making the best of it. Best of luck with the sale of your home, and with starting over. May your future be bright!

matt link

7/17/2012 11:11:03 am

seems to me that your kids should be recognized here, and for you to place a sign ridiculing your husband for leaving you is sad. i would leave to if you look the way you do. seems to me that you gained over 150 pounds since you were married. you have placed your health at risk, your heart, lung-disease, heart palpitation, organ failure, joint problems, arthritis, etc.... lose the weight...

Jaimey

7/17/2012 03:21:06 pm

wow

Lesley

7/17/2012 03:44:40 pm

What a sad little man. You have my pity.

Marie

7/17/2012 03:56:40 pm

Is that you T. Stop the nonsense moron

Lucy

7/17/2012 11:58:36 pm

LOL! I thought the same thing. T get your ass out of here!
As for "Matt", you're a douche!

Lou

7/17/2012 05:13:16 pm

Matt, I hope you are still young so that you have time to grow up and become a good man. Take care of yourself, stop being so judgemental, your negative attitude has risk factors too.

JFT link

7/17/2012 08:53:48 pm

Matt You are a tool

Brandi

7/17/2012 11:27:57 pm

FIRST of all... she is not ridiculing her husband and that's obvious as she states he APPROVED and helped to PAY for the sign. Seriously??!?! SECONDLY... What does her size have to do with ANYTHING? Matt, I hope for your words some women realizes how cruel you are and for you to criticize a woman for her weight shows you have ZERO respect for women. And IF You do, it's likely for a size zero. That makes you pretty f'n shallow in mine and 99% of all women's minds. Not to mention, men who think that way are quite typically insecure about themselves and their image so they think that they have to uphold some sad, fake image. Well good luck to you LITTLE buddy. You may not like a big women, you may like 'em small but remember this... women don't like their men "small"... if ya know what I mean ;) And alot of men who are that, they enjoy their women small for that very reason. I hope karma bites you in the a** BIG TIME!!! And in case you're wondering why I wrote this... it's because if you want to criticize a women with whom you think is soooooo overweight, then you can be criticized right back- even by a perfect stranger!!!

Tink

7/18/2012 12:33:44 am

Seriously? wow..it is hard for me to believe that some people are so shallow!!

7/18/2012 01:43:52 am

You know what they say about guys with small minds......small other parts.

KBL

7/18/2012 05:19:08 am

Oh Matt - for your own sake- please educate yourself on the difference between to* and too* and how to use each correctly in a sentence before you decide to leave a worthless comment like this one. Grammatical errors are so unattractive...seriously.

Elle- you are an inspiration to ALL women/men that have been wronged, and you have helped me more than you'll ever know with your persistence in moving forward, and doing so in creative ways. You WILL be ok, and just remember - they usually always come back...You rock. Best of luck to you!!!!

kara

7/17/2012 11:12:06 am

I hope you sell your house.....the more power to ya.

Judy link

7/17/2012 11:12:19 am

Good luck on selling your house. I totally understand your situation, because I lived the same thing. 2 small children, cheating husband who is now an ex. Trust me with your great out look and sense of humor and the apperant love you have for your children you will recover from this and come out even better then before. Blessings to you and your family.

Heather

7/17/2012 11:12:42 am

You are a riot!! I know your gonna be alright girl, you have a great outlook and your funny as hell :) I wish you the best of luck with everything and I hope you make millions!

Erin

7/17/2012 11:12:42 am

I absolutely love this website!!! What a great idea :)

Ian link

7/17/2012 11:15:17 am

First of all, I'm sorry that you and the rest of the family are going through this. You seem to be doing well and that makes me feel better. Second, your writing says a lot about you. You're fun, have a great sense of humor, and can roll with the punches. Although some punches hurt more than others (i.e. what you are going through), I see you selling this house and moving on, starting over, and starting fresh. You have two beautiful kids and you are one lucky mother. I wish you nothing but the best with selling your house, and for those that are hating on you, let them. The world is a judgmental place, no way to get around that. Keep doing what you're doing. :)

RBW

7/17/2012 11:15:52 am

Just happened to come across this on yahoo and have been looking at your website for a while. I'm sorry all this has happened to you but good for you for making the best of it and putting your children and yourself above the situation! I live in NC but if I lived in Oregon I would definitely come look at your house. I wish you all the best of luck in selling your house and in life.

Jennifer

7/17/2012 11:16:11 am

Elle, I think you're HYSTERICAL and an inspiration! Best of luck to you!

Michele link

7/17/2012 11:17:55 am

Sweetie, I am truly sorry for your situation. If you ever need any free legal advice, shoot me an email. Will be keeping you and the kids in my prayers.

Robin

7/17/2012 11:18:43 am

I just wanted to say I think you are a strong woman to be dealing the all the personal stuff and the media. I am saying a prayer for and your family.

Lois

7/17/2012 11:18:51 am

Elle- how endearing is this website? Let me tell you, very endearing. I am very sorry for what you and your children are going through. Although it sounds like you are doing all the work, it's good that you and El Capitan can work together to get the house sold and ultimately begin the next chapter in your lives. Best of luck to you; I hope your house sells quickly. Keep that positive attitude.. life IS good.

Penny

7/17/2012 11:20:30 am

I just read the article on Yahoo! and took the virtual tour of your house. I have to say that it is beautiful and you did a wonderful job of decorating. Your photography is quite good too. The kids are sooo cute!
I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that your family has to go down this road and being that I am happily married for 27 years now, I don't know how you feel, but I can have empathy for you.
I am praying that this sale will be quick and that you and the kids can get back on track. I'm sure there is someone out there waiting for you and as time goes on your Ex will find out that he made the biggest mistake of his life.
Take care and good luck on the sale.
{{Hugs}}
Penny

Diane Coffee

7/17/2012 11:20:43 am

Elle, I love your blog and have marked in it my favorites so I can check up on you from time to time. Hope the sale happens for you!!

Diane (also Lane Bryant capri wearer!)

Betty

7/17/2012 11:20:53 am

Hooray for you! Congrats for not losing your sense of humor! Good luck with the sale and you/kids future. You sound like a winner!

Jessica Normand

7/17/2012 11:21:30 am

Girl u have my vote!!!Wish I lived there u have a beautiful house and children.. U seem like a great mother.Hope u and your kids have a great future!!

helar campos MD link

7/17/2012 11:22:55 am

You are truly inspirational may God Bless you and you children and know that here in CT we are praying for you and your children and you success.

Sara, Texas

7/17/2012 11:23:13 am

Thanks for being so transparent. Sounds like you're house is famous and will sell, I even want to buy it, I can't but I would...and I haven't even seen it yet. Thanks also for the reminder of worse things happening to people.
I will keep you in my prayers. My husband and I are a reconciled couple (meaning we were once divorced...from eachother) God has some amazing plans for people with little hope for themselves. Keep your chin up. The 22 yr. will grow up one day and realize she doesn't want your husband anymore. That day will be golden. But better I pray that your husband realizes what a slime ball he was for leaving his bride behind, I pray it happens fast.

JoVina Harris link

7/17/2012 11:23:29 am

I saw your sign as a post on facebook & I looked up the website just to see if it was bullshit or a real deal. I've continued to look around and just read your blog. I'm just a 47 yr old East TX redneck girl but I am so very proud of you! You have discovered that even though shit happens, YOU and only YOU can decide how you deal with it and how you define it for your children. Your children are lucky to have you has a mother and your ex has lost a damn good woman. Good luck with all your endeavors - I wish you well as you go forth and conquer everything life throws at you!!
JoV.

Jen B from NH

7/17/2012 11:23:38 am

Good for you! Almost cried looking at your house & your blog. I respect your courage and honesty. You go girl!!!! I have been married for 17 years and with my husband for 23. This is my nightmare. I hope if I ever go through this I can have your same courage :)

Jennifer from Michigan

7/17/2012 11:23:45 am

Hang in there Elle. You show true strength by pulling yourself up and doing your best for your kids. Good for you! don't let that b*tch cause you any more grief than she already has. I wish you all the joy life has to give, and I will keep you in my prayers. Also, in my opinion you are better off without him.

Kisa

7/17/2012 11:24:09 am

Very well said my Dear! You ARE a wonderful person, an amazing mom, an Awesome photographer!!! I know from painful experience that this is a sucky time in your life BUT it does get better. Life does get better and karma goes round, that perky 19 year old I got dumped for when I was 4 mos. prego, well she's not so "perky" lol. Keep your sense of humor lady! K~

Susan

7/17/2012 11:24:10 am

Elle,

I just loved reading your website and blog post and looking at your pictures of the house!!! I am So sorry for what you are going through, but, you sound like a very strong woman who will find her "forever happiness" one day!!! I have many friends who have gone through what you have...but, you really sound like you will be the one who comes out ahead after it is all over!!! Best of luck!!! Susan

Min min

7/17/2012 11:24:34 am

Very nicely put!!! We're here for you!!!!

C Ramsey link

7/17/2012 11:24:45 am

I want to share this story with a family member that is going through the same thing. However, on December 16, 2010 her daughter was killed in an automobile accident. So you are right in your blog "it could be worse". Continue to get up everyday and live the life that God has planned for you. As I share with my cousin, God has plans for your life. Seek guidance from HIM. You indeed do have a sense of humor. I am a divorcee. Life does get better.

Grace

7/17/2012 11:24:59 am

You are truly one incredibly, amazingly strong woman! To smile in spite of the pain...your children are truly blessed to have you as a mother. I will say a prayer for you tonight, that you are able to sell the house and move on. God bless you!

Terri

7/17/2012 11:25:27 am

Wow! You are me 4 years ago! Those damned 22 year olds suck! Same thing happened to me and I used all that to get the entire house and sold it and I got every dime! Ha! Funny thing though! The great thing is that 4 years later, I find myself with a degree in nursing (a dream of mine for years), my children are all grown and living their lives (quite happily) and I have somehow, (not looking) found the man of my dreams. Things do get better and you do find your place! The funniest thing is when you find out from the kids that the ex finds himself, 4 years later, realizing what he has lost and stuck in a relationship with someone he has nothing in common with! Lol! Don't you just love karma? Best of luck to you! You will be just fine! It is very hard! I remember feeling so low and inadequate that I couldn't be what my ex wanted me to be, but now I realize he did me the greatest favor of my life! Enjoy yours and get out there and do the things that you want to do with your life! It is YOUR life now! Make every minute of it count!

Dottie

7/17/2012 11:25:53 am

Hi Elle,
So sorry for all the bad stuff, hurtful stuff going on for you and your family.
I am Praying for you. Please feel free to write me, or I can give my phone number if wanted.
I live in Charleston, SC. and am a Nurse.

Don't keep that bitterness for long, it's a killer :)

In Christ,

Dottie

Pam in Missouri

7/18/2012 09:14:13 am

Hi Elle, Dottie is right about bitterness...it chews you up and swallows you whole. Your positive attitude and outlook will go a long way in getting you and the kids through this. Another comment was made by someone that I agree w/...Christ Jesus is the only man you can count on to never leave you nor forsake you and that will keep his promises (I know from personal experience [long story]). BTW, physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the Lord can/will provide a "Better Beholder" for you than you had!!! Best wishes selling your house (you can keep your HOME in your heart always). Prayerfully Yours, Pam (also a nurse)

Rick MacGill

7/17/2012 11:26:48 am

Elle,

Good Evening, I looked at your website and your blog. You hold your head up high. I know that time is very tough, you shud be very proud of yourself for being strong as best u can and still keeping a sense of humor. I agree its totally a raw deal. I am touched by your situation but hopeful you can find courage and strength from family, friends and a few strangers like myself. The children pics are beautiful. I by the way am 52 and adopted a lil girl who is 3 yrs old.. Im saying this cause i understand the diversity of life.. Your spark of life is amazing, this spark shud i pray give you strength and ability to come thru this. I will pray for you and success. Keep the faith...Keep the faith,,,It will work out.
Good Luck
Rick

Gina Mckinney

7/17/2012 11:27:05 am

Love your outlook on life, good luck with selling your house, and having been through a similar situation, one day you will be able to be friends again. Best of wishes to you and your family!

Martene

7/17/2012 11:27:18 am

I feel for you. No one deserves to be cheated, but inevitably it can happen. As I have seen in the pictures, you have two really adorable kids. May they be the source of your strength, joy and purpose to keep moving on. Well, in life, what happens to us is the 10%. The 90% is how will we respond to that.

Angie

7/17/2012 11:27:26 am

It seems to me your the "rock". You are a very strong person. Good luck to you and your family.

Isaiah link

7/17/2012 11:27:41 am

Sorry to hear about your misfortune.

tiffany link

7/17/2012 11:27:44 am

You go elle. She can only take what you give her, err... w/ the exception of the husband - but you can't control that. You're wonderful and inspiring. Anyone who comments about the size of your pants or any other attire is clearly pissed off at themselves and the lack of success in their own life. Screw 'em. Go. Be happy, and sell the dang house :-)

Mavendano

7/17/2012 11:27:51 am

I applaud you for taking this route. I work at a daycare and it is horrible to see the children whose parents are going through a nasty divorce. Thank you for thinking of your children first. I hope everything goes well for you and I do not wish anything bad on "el capitan" just that he thanks you for not using the children to make him harm. I hope you sell your wonderful home to somebody that will cherish it.

Christine

7/17/2012 11:28:15 am

You are truly an amazing woman! You have strength like I have never seen and could only "wish" to have! You are a wonderful mother! I wish more people could be like you and put their children first before anything else! I wish you and your children the best of luck! Hang in there and keep your chin up...eventually, it will get better!

Gracious barber

7/17/2012 11:28:32 am

I am so sry this happen to you and your family , I also have been thoe the same , I was in labor with my wondorfull lil girl . and he was sleeping with someone a the same time , and come to find out it was my older sister , now crap !!!!! Its been along road , it been now ten years since that happen , i still have troulbe trusting any man , or even being around my sister , it all was in my mind , so i am very sry , but we women are strong , God bless us with the well to keep moveing and take cae of are kids and others , even with the pain still in are hearts . i am sure you knew your not alone in this , but when i read your stroy , it was like looking right in my heart , so i am sending my paryer to you and your family . email me any time if you need to talk and you can look me up on facebook if you want ,

Jan Medina

7/17/2012 11:28:42 am

As a woman scorned myself I know exactly where you were, except we didn't have kids. I am with you and you don't have to post this. Just wanted to give you a thumbs up for being strong in the face of adversity, especially with two children! I hope you sell the house quickly so you can get on with healing and as soon as his money is gone, so will the floozy....sad, but true! Have a good one!

Laura link

7/17/2012 11:31:02 am

You will be ok. I have always told mt children when one door closes God opens another, with a better path to follow. The best of luck to you & your family.

Shawndy Elam link

7/17/2012 11:31:07 am

Elle, I have to say I really admire you. I think you've handled your situation with more grace and class than I ever could. I hope your house sells and you find a happy place for you and your children.

Sheryl Clough link

7/17/2012 11:31:39 am

Hi Elle: I too have been cheated on by my beloved (LONG time ago) and I know the depth of that pain. Your beautiful spirit, your love for your children, and your creativity/art will all pull you through this dark and painful place. I love your sense of humor.

Keep on truckin' -- I think it will not be long til you have a house sale.

Best Wishes,
Sheryl

Terri

7/17/2012 11:31:52 am

Elle--

After reading your story, I am amazed at your strength and humbleness...my husband and I separated at a time during our 23 year marriage but kept it amicable and treated each other with love and respect--after six months of separation, we decided we could not live apart, and are still married after all these years, stronger and happier than when we were newlyweds. It breaks my heart when two people who once loved each other split apart and become mortal enemies. Some friends of ours have done that, and this time she was the cheater. Her husband is a loving, patient man who gave second and third chances. She took him to the cleaners in the divorce and feels she 'won.' It is heartbreaking.

Thank you for your candidness, your humbleness, and your obvious love for your family. You have a beautiful home, and I wish you the best in your new journey. May God bless you and keep you, and make the new volume in your life a fairy tale!

Terri

wendy

7/17/2012 11:31:58 am

I am sooo sorry to hear what happened to you. The same thing happened to me as well and I too was forced to pick up the pieces. This made me very bitter for a very long time. I just recently discovered how real the love of Christ is. I knew he was real but now when I look back at everything maybe God was protecting me and working on me through out this entire experience. it is my prayer that you will find peace through this and that God will give you something greater than the previous man that you have chosen to be your husband. In the mean time I know it is hard and us woman who have delt with an adultress husband end up picking up the pieces and it takes years to pick up those shattered pieces but then again it helped me realise that there is only one person in everyones life that will never leave us. I have found a deeper relationship with Him that money or no earthly love can buy.
Always,
Wendy

Peggy

7/17/2012 11:32:19 am

I hope you get your home sold, and I hope you get a great deal of strength and healing along the way. I bet this is the beginning to a really fine book.

dee

7/17/2012 11:33:07 am

Girl I hate you have to leave this great and well loved place. If I lived there it would be the house for me. I can not believe how low your utilities are too. I hope you can keep it. BTW I am a yogi of 7 yrs and let me tell you she is NOT yogi like at all. Karma will get her. The best to you and your kids. Namaste'

Jody

7/17/2012 11:34:38 am

Good for you, Elle. Keep smiling and keep that great attitude!

Angel

7/17/2012 11:34:56 am

I loved your page, and your photos and story. I went through something similar and I can totally feel you. Thank you for posting this. I really appreciate it :). You are a strong woman and I am sure an awesome mother!~ Love your photos, you are a true artist!

Roy

7/17/2012 11:36:46 am

Love the idea, I'm sorry you got burned by him. Sounds like your upbeat about it. I wish you all the best!

Sharon

7/17/2012 11:37:43 am

Kudos to you! You are a strong person for being able to deal with your situation the way you are! Stay strong for those beautiful kids of yours and best of luck selling the house! I wish I were in your area to come see it in person, it sounds so cute and the pictures are very nice!
You have an amazing sense of humor and I think that if nothing else, this is going to bring you good things in the future!
Again, best of luck!!

Mary Kay

7/17/2012 11:38:51 am

If you can't trust 'em, no use keeping them around. You have a lovely attitude, and I am so glad to see that you are embracing the good things in life. (Lovely house... have you considered a career in house staging or real estate?)

Sandra

7/17/2012 11:39:03 am

Hi Elle.
I recently went through what you are going through. I didn't see it coming either, and finding out about the other woman was devastating emotionally. But..it does get easier, and you do find your smile again, if even just for brief moments in the beginning. A sense of humor definitely helps. Don't let the naysayers get you down..they are not happy people, and tend to spread that unhappiness around wherever possible. Good luck, and hope you sell your house :)

Carmen

7/17/2012 11:40:07 am

Girl, you have a good non-bitter head on your shoulders. It is refreshing and totally right on, fair and reasonable. Also financially correct. It is the right position to take when others do us wrong. It is the hardest thing to just withold the judgement, like you are doing. To stay in the judgement spot will just hold you back,hurt the children and not allow you to open yourself to a higher and brighter world. Moving forward now will save you from a stomach virus, a restraining order, and wrinkles. The best thing is to keep doing like you are doing. Take care of your children, and keep seeking beauty. Now... Get you a big bowl, put all the ugly, nasty, sad, fearful stuff in there, and add all the good stuff too, the tender stuff too, add the beautiful right there in it. Then chop it all up, mix it all up, and you have ambrosia, the nectar of a total you. I wish I was as open and level headed as you when I was your age. The dude will wake up, and when he does, you may or may not be in the place to want to receive what he has to add to your bowl.

Elizabeth

7/17/2012 11:40:29 am

Elle

Lovely house, beautiful photos on your websites. I think you will be truly successful. As for El Capitan, any man who would cheat with someone that much younger isn't as much of a rock as he may have come accross. (plus what about when she ages, gains weight etc...in her shoes I'd be a bit concerned about that) I have a feeling you are going to meet a new man who will treat you and your adorable munchkins with love, respect, and loyalty. You will be amazed at the difference and how cherished you will feel. Plus your children will have a role model of how their mom should be treated.
And that will be amazing!

Best wishes!!

amy link

7/17/2012 11:42:06 am

I am very sorry this happened to you. You are a very strong woman indeed. If it were my husband i would be in jail.That said, you have a beautiful home, if it was only in bama. Good luck and stay strong. Next time you see him kick him in the balls for me!!!

Debi

7/17/2012 11:42:10 am

I have been exactly were you are!! Words cannot express the feeling of finding out that your spouse is cheating. It really does feel like a death....but unfortunately if there are children involved, he never REALLY dies. With an actual death of a partner, you are in shock, you grieve and you move on. But when you get a divorce, you are in shock, you grieve and then you are forced to be together over and over again at different functions that your children are involved with. I was married for 27 years, I gave birth to two sons, I was a great mother and a good and honest wife, I didn't deserve to be lied to and betrayed. I too, went thru a "cleansing process" and it was good for me, I packed, cried, packed some more, cried some more....had my pity party and cried again. It has been two years and I am moving forward with my life. I have closed that chapter of and have started a "New Chapter". You are NOT ALONE, and I wish you all the best in the Sale of your beautiful bungalow. I love your sense of humor...and this too shall pass....goodluck!

QuixoticAngel

7/17/2012 11:44:32 am

I think your beautiful inside and out. Your house is gorgeous and your personality is hilarious. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. And if I may, I will leave you with my favorite quote that I hung on to when my boyfriend/fiancee left me for an older woman after three years mainly because she wanted a boy toy and he wanted lots of toys.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

cindy

7/17/2012 11:44:43 am

Elle, You seem like a wonderful woman, that in not so many years to come..or possibly even now your ex will be regretting ever losing you. I hope that your house sells quickly for well above the asking price!! If anyone calls you bitter, they are obviously crazy!! Prayers for your new life and future!! Cindy

Jeannie Howard

7/17/2012 11:47:08 am

I truly appreciate your strength in all of this. I just sat and read your website and really, you could probably make a living as a motivational speaker, if nothing else comes through. I stumbled upon your site, because like you said, you are viral. I was expecting to read some disgusting, sleazy story about your husband and to be angry about all of it. While I am angry and disgusted, I am more moved by your words than anything. You are showing so much grace and character through this. Your kids are lucky to have you be so protective of them, and as much as I hate to say it, your ex-husband is also pretty darn lucky as well. I feel like I don't even need to say this to you, but when the days aren't so dark for you, take a moment to breathe in deeply and start to imagine your own possibilities. Not just as a mother, or as a scorned Ex-Wife, but as Elle. Hugs from one woman to another!

Carol

7/17/2012 11:48:17 am

I think what you AND your ex is doing (this) is great. I am sorry for what has happened but it sounds like there is still some kind of communication between the 2 of you and that is important and above all, BEST for the children. Good luck to all involved and never forget... You define your life, DON'T let life define you.

Tina

7/17/2012 11:48:23 am

Elle, I'm 57, and I remember and understand clearly your pain, as I experienced it, too. You're a brave woman...but you'd rather be a wife, I'm sure. You're making great decisions with what you have to work with, and should be proud of yourself. Will be thinking of you and the kiddies.

Matt

7/17/2012 11:49:09 am

Stay strong Elle..You are a beautiful woman with a great attitude. Staying strong for the kids. I admire that. I hope your house sells soon and you are able to move on with your life. You'll find the right person when the time is right and your ex-husband will be on the outside looking in. Remember that karma is a b*tch!!!!

Paula Bendfeldt-Diaz link

7/17/2012 11:50:43 am

I think it's awesome that you are taking all of this in such a positive way. I really hope that all of this media attention, which I am sure is accidentally and you would have never been able to get if you planned it, gets your house sold AND boosts your business and maybe some other positive things. It's amazing to me how so many people have to assume the worst and have so much negativity inside of them that they would be saying all these things about you and your family without really knowing anything about your life or who you are. You seem honest and I admire you for taking this with a smile. The best to you and your family.

[email protected] link

7/17/2012 11:51:53 am

just wanted to say that I'm proud of you!
Your ex is missing out of a great girl. You know what I think? He cheats once, he'll cheat again so your revenge might be that he leaves the 22 year old that broke up a family and took a father away from his kids and a husband away from his wife. I'm soooo following you!

ann

7/17/2012 04:21:30 pm

the 22 year old didnt break up the family and take the father... the father made the choice...

1Mom2Another

7/17/2012 11:52:36 am

Girl, keep your chin up! I'm so impressed with your positive, can-do attitude! Good luck and God bless!

Sue Parker

7/17/2012 11:53:02 am

Elle,
I tip my hat of to you. You are handling this "episode" in you life like a true DIGNIFIED woman! You have made yourself and your kids the 1st priority. Yes you could have been vindictive but at ultimately at the cost of your children and yourself. So again, well played. Good Luck on the sale!

maya s. paveza link

7/17/2012 11:53:41 am

Elle,
Life catapulted you into something you can handle, obviously, and I suspect your Lane Bryant sized capri's can handle it (I was once a Lane Bryant Credit Card holder, I love the bras, all 5'7" and 148 lbs of me is wearing one now, and I want those 2 lbs so I won't round to 150).

You have found a calling, in your wit and how you handle the less graceful moments of life. You should check out RedHeadWriting.com as I think you and Erika will have a great deal in common in your views on life.

If you are willing to indulge one more media outlet (read: completely unknown and totally devoid of value media) I would love to have you come on our Podcast Sunday night and talk about this amazing plan to market your house. I am a REALTOR (I have access to all those neat statistics and I bet I can find someone out there who would share those with you), and I am a Mom, and I have a whole lot more in common with you than I am able to say in this comment. Lines, Between, Read. ;)

Anyway - you have my email. I would love to talk if you have time in the next few days, I think I can help in a few ways, and none of them have anything to do with referring you to an agent who can sell the house. =)

Please, continue to find and share your voice, it will cost a whole lot less than psychotherapy.

All the best, and thanks for the great laugh at your expense, it was still cathartic.
maya (lowercase intended)
#ownit is what I say on Twitter, and you OWN IT. =)

kara

7/17/2012 11:54:03 am

You have a great attitude :) I wish you happiness and success.

Julia

7/17/2012 11:54:37 am

Hi, I just wanted to say that even though I don't live in Oregon I would very much at least go look at the house and see if I like it. I am in the market to buy a home. Furthermore, I would like to add that this is by far a very brainy idea in regards to selling your home for "personal" reasons. Props to you for thinking of the idea to sell the home. what a GREAT website and Spectacular idea in order to gain exposure to your home in order for it to sell and both move on with life. I had tons of fun strolling through the site.
I would like to check out on how to blog. Can you give me some tips for beginners?
Thank You in advanced..
Feel free to e-mail me if you have any tips re: starting a blog.
I'm sorry for the divorce but I'm sure there is something better out there waiting for you.
Julia D.
Chicago IL.

Ken Grigg link

7/17/2012 11:54:47 am

I know the feeling, I came home from work one day, and the wife told me "we need to talk", thats never a good thing; " I found some one I want to date." I told her "your married" she said " I know thats why were talking".
She was a stay at home mom and i thought we were happy, 13 years, blended kids. it was devastating, i cried for 1 week, then I too got it together, and put a smile on my face, Fake it till you make it, kinda thing.
where I'm going with this is; it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I left that job, that state, and found my own path, led my own life, I finaly found the "one" but its different now, we like each other, we make each other laugh, I like a full figure and she has that, so we are very happy in that dept too. we keep our money seprate, and each pay our share of the bills. and we married! again where am i going with this; its a different life i envisioned for my self, but its OKay, this is your chance to go where you want, live where you want, the kids will be happy where ever you go, I moved to Hilo Hawaii, and it was the most beautiful place in the whole world.
DONT BE AFFRAID!! the best life you can have is now your responsibility! I'm betting on you!

michelle

7/17/2012 11:56:05 am

Elle love your blog. I have been there and done that myself and four years after the whole mess things changed for the better. I am now with someone I can truly say is my best friend and the love of my life and he even stepped up to be a father figure to both of my kids at the time, It's been 11 1/2 years now. So glad you are not loosing yourself in this. Good luck and please keep posting...it's therapy for everyone!

Corey

7/17/2012 11:56:58 am

You're amazing. You deserve every ounce of happiness this world has to offer. And then some. I am humbled by your your story and I would buy your house if I could, 10 times over. Even though I live in NJ :). I hope you sell so many magnets you can by 5 houses. I hope there is a massive bidding war for your home that doubles or triples the final selling price. I hope you realize that people like you are few and far between, and there is a very special place for you in this world. I am not sad for you, I am sad for your [ex] husband's loss. You, make this world a better place. <3

Donna

7/17/2012 11:58:05 am

You GO Girl!! "This too shall pass". I applaud you for your strength and ability to move ahead. I pray you find all the happiness you can handle and all the financial stability you need. Plant NEW lily's, build another home life for you and your children -- enjoy family and friends. When you least expect it....when your strong and able....a path to your new future will present itself...it's going to be wonderous~best revenge...is living well......God Bless!

lisa kelly

7/17/2012 11:58:07 am

I am offended by the fact that someone might suggest that a dress size if justification for your husband cheating. I had two children and gained a lot of weight that never left with each of them and you are right, your dress size does not make you who you are. From everything I can see you are an amazing women with a great sence of self and good humor. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Geneva link

7/17/2012 11:59:03 am

I'm reading! I'm glad to hear your voice.

Jaimey

7/17/2012 03:37:43 pm

:) me too

Brinda

7/17/2012 11:59:08 am

Elle,
First let me say that the people who comment on your size are A$$holes of the highest degree. When I saw the news video, I couldn't help noticing how beautiful you are. Honestly! It appears that your personality matches. It's too bad that El Capitan (and men like him) are so caught up in themselves that they miss out on the important things in life. The 22 year old will soon grow old and so will their relationship. Men who cheat, cheat. Women who take married men from their families, usually get the same in return. KARMA's a b*tch! Keep smiling and STOP knocking yourself. Remember, weight can be lost but you can't fix ugly and no matter what Miss "Yoga" looks like, she seems like a pretty ugly person to me. Good luck on your sale! =)

Ronnie

7/17/2012 11:59:29 am

Hang in there girl. Life DOES get better and you are stronger than you think. Keep writing, keep advertising, and keep moving forward.

virginia

7/17/2012 12:00:09 pm

I came across this by accident. I have to commend you for being the better person. Your children will respect you more for that and that's who matter the most. I hope you are able to sell your home fast and move on from what has happened in you and your children's lives. As for your ex and the 22 year old, how long do you think that will last...now that deserves a huge LOL!!! She will get bored and sadly but eventually move on to someone else's husband. Obviously, she does not respect or love herself too much that she has to go for men that are involved in something so sacred as a marraige and have families. Can we say "HOMEWRECKER"!!! Good luck to you and your children. The pasture is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Jen

7/17/2012 12:00:39 pm

I absolutely love this idea! As a scorned wife (yeah, i'm the dipsh*t that took his cheating behind back after he realized his lil 23 yr old was a waste of good sperm), i wish I had thought of this!! Good luck selling the house :)

Chef Michelle link

7/17/2012 12:00:51 pm

Elle, Boy oh Boy! Good Luck, it is unfortunate the way things have happened, but truly believe that in the end.......EVERYONE has their happily ever after......even if it takes a couple of chapters/books to write! No one.....ABSOLUTELY no one is perfect, and your tone for decompressing all the built up anger...... I must say 'Kudo's to YOU!'.

Just recently, I have slowly learned to let go of so many things that have absorbed my happiness for others happiness, and as being known as a PEOPLE PLEASURE (as it's my nature), I have to understand "happiness" is a circle of "life" for everyone to enjoy a piece of the pie, and in time you will soon have your slice "again"........ Perhaps A'lamode with whip creme and a cherry on top:).

I know it is not easy, and the HEART is the hardest to heal when you are not strong...,.BUT, "keep on smiling with your kids", as it truly will build up your strength!

I hope El Capitan knows that he has been DEFEATED!

Chef Michelle -The Woodlands TX

Kathy Shaw-Vaughan

7/17/2012 12:01:41 pm

I think you are awesome! You have a wonderful approach to this major change in your life. And as a very happily divorced (10 years now, time flies when you're having fun) single mom of 2 daughters who were only 2 & 3 when the divorce began, I too can attest to how a mother's attitude determines the children's attitude. Smile, keep your head up, forget the comments from all the haters. The smartest thing you and your ex both did in this is leaving the money-grubbing lawyers out of it. I have spent a small fortune (that I can't afford) on lawyers because my ex is unable to be reasonable. At least you are both taking the high road! YOU ARE WONDERFUL and never forget that! Your life will get better, have no fear. Your husband lost a very, very special wife. Karma. That's all I can say...KARMA! :)

Heather

7/17/2012 12:02:22 pm

Wow...I saw the link to your site on yahoo news! My husband of ten years decided he was gay a couple years ago, so I can so relate to the whole darkest days thing. Fortunately we didn't have kids so I don't ever have to deal with him again though! I just have to tell you that you are hilarious and have a fantastic outlook that will totally get you through this...Too bad you're in Oregon and I'm in Ohio, we should do lunch! :)

Marie

7/17/2012 04:02:41 pm

People do not "decide" to be guy. That is an idiotic statement. Can you decide to be tall or to have brown eyes or to have a high IQ ?
Good thing he came out before having children.

Allen

4/27/2013 05:07:06 pm

Your husband was always gay, he just finally decided to be honest, perhaps even with himself. Would you have preferred he go the rest of his life without giving you what you needed and without him ever experiencing true love? This is one of the reasons marriage equality is so important. If he had grown up in a world where he could tell the truth, you never would have had to go through this pain.

Nicole

7/17/2012 12:03:20 pm

Thank you for having the courage to put yourself out there and to be so positive and remind people that things can always be worse. I hope your future gets better and better : )

Heather

7/17/2012 12:03:27 pm

Elle- I think more than two or three viewers will find your post heartwarming, charming, and unabashadly honest. Thank you for sharing with the rest of "us" :) Best wishes to you and your children as your path changes direction and new opportunities open up for you.
Heather

Stephanie

7/17/2012 12:04:20 pm

Elle,
I don't know you, but partially know what you are going through. You, my dear are truly inspirational- as a woman and as a mother!
Write! And do it a lot! Find clarity in your realizations and inturn peace with your circumstances. Your beautiful and your children are beyond lucky to have you!

7/17/2012 12:05:57 pm

Hey Elle,
Just wanted to let you know, just by the little that I know of you, I think you're an amazing woman. The strength you have for your kids and the way you use humor to get you through the tough times is inspiring. Don't let anyone make you believe that the size of your capris is the reason your ex cheated. His cheating is all about him, and not about you! Keep smiling and everything will get better.

Mina

7/17/2012 12:08:11 pm

I read your post and admired the strength you exhibited going through your most difficult time. Being another staying home mom of 4 children, whose husband was also unfaithful, I understand exactly what kind of dark hours you went through.

You took beautiful pictures, best wishes to selling your wonderful house!

I wish you the best as you move forward with your life and search for happiness.

Best,

Mina

Jill

7/17/2012 12:09:00 pm

My heart goes out to you and your kids. It will definitely be quite an adjustment for you all, but I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". It may be difficult to see right now, but it will become plain to see at some point. Trust your instincts because you seem like an incredibly smart and very well spoken woman. You're beautiful and be proud of the example that you're not only setting for your kids, but for many other women that may have experienced similar situations.

christine link

7/17/2012 12:10:25 pm

I wish u and ur children the best of luck selling ur house, finding a new home, and a future of happiness.

Jennifer

7/17/2012 12:10:27 pm

I definitely am here to listen if you want to say more. How did you find out about the affair? I have read your website from top to bottom and can only fathom right now that he started acting differently, so you checked your phone bill.

A.Q.

7/17/2012 12:14:03 pm

God bless you, Elle. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 May you draw close to Him during this time. He WILL help you.

Margaret Turner link

7/17/2012 12:15:01 pm

Beautiful home. I wish you all the best. You are a better woman than me. I may have sued the little hussy for causing "alienation of affection". But life does go on, have a wonderful one!

mary ann

7/17/2012 12:16:15 pm

You're cool Elle!

Christina from PA link

7/17/2012 12:19:17 pm

Hi Elle,

I saw a post about your house on Yahoo.com and had to visit your website. See, I had the same thing happen to me in Sept 2012. My "spouse" of 12 1/2 years cheated with a 21 year old tart. To add insult to injury, this tart tried to become friends with me on facebook - that just screams teenager! So now it's been almost a year since the "split" (I own the house so I changed the locks on him as soon as he rolled in at 430am one night), I've lost 70 lbs, bought new furniture that I previously could not afford because of his spending habits, went on a cruise with my daughter and reclaimed my life. Listen sister, keep your chin up - things will get better, I promise. You have to make your own destiny and remember that you are better off...he is her problem now!! I can't wait until my ex's little tart finds out that the sheriff is after him for non-payment of loans and bills!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! Email me anytime - you have a friend in PA!

Beemommy link

7/17/2012 12:21:06 pm

Kudos to you for keeping your sense of humor in this. I'd so want to jack-slap that yoga instructor until she'd never be able to do a downward dog again. I'm glad that you and El Capitan are working together for the sake of the kids. What he needs to realize is that there will always be another yoga student in his "instructor's" life. I think your talent is very edgy and hope that someone gets you on the fast track with marketing, other something similar, if that's what you want. Take care

Barbara

7/17/2012 12:23:00 pm

Good luck! I hope that your" house" sells quickly so that you can find the perfect " home" for you and your kids. I went through a couple of sucky husbands but finally found a great guy...so far..lol. Just stay positive and enjoy life... By the way the 1st husbands new stripper wife made his life a living hell! Payback is certainly a bitch!!! LOL

Kim

7/17/2012 12:26:08 pm

Elle-I'm sorry you can't keep your absolutely charming home even if Prince Charming had to go. It's absolutely perfect in so many ways-and you've been incredibly creative with the space you have to work with. I'm sad for you. I'm sad for the kids. And because you clearly still love and respect your ex as the father of your children-I can't even say I *hate* him (like any villian in a story).
I'm sad for him-that he didn't see how much love was packed into those Lane Bryant capri's. That he didn't see that the size of the ass is NOT directly proportional to how big of an ASS you are. She's 22 and maybe pretty like you were at 22, but he missed the point that she will change too. Also, I'm sorry El Captain - but you can't tell me you liked her for her depth and intelligence. You Elle, are beautiful for your ability to see in the world what few others see and capture it. The important things. The beautiful things. And the SHIT that matters. You are sooooooo good dear!!!!

Keep your head up and your heart and mind in the right place. Hope the home goes to someone who can finish the dream there you started-and that your happily ever after is just around the corner. (P.S. Can't the lillies be divided and replanted once you're "settled"?) As for the "revenge" - a happy girl is the best revenge!! Never could get into yoga myself- kickboxing is far more bad ass! I love your style and I'm keeping you in prayer.

jennifer in fres

7/19/2012 02:50:15 pm

Like she was? I think she is pretty now. People watch too much TV. They don't see real beauty in front of them, because they let ads and television tell them what beauty is. My husband would send her his number in a minute if he were single. He thinks strength, humor and warmth are beauty. I am heavier, older, and even a little meaner than when he first saw me, but I still catch him looking at me with the same look he gave me when we were teenagers (lusty, happy to be there). They are out there! How you can tell is if he can be friends with women. Men who can't be friends with women do not respect the minds and souls of women and therefore cannot see the beauty of a woman. Men who don't respect women rate a woman by how she will cook for him or how she will look sitting on his junk. When a woman is an object it is easy to see eye candy as important. A woman who sleeps with another woman's husband is really very ugly. She has no soul, she's like an empty can of beer.

Paul T

7/17/2012 12:26:50 pm

you are WAAAAY too good for him; good for you girl

Paul H

7/17/2012 12:29:15 pm

Wow! I like your attitude. Keep your joy!

Very good job describing the house. One of the best real-estate promotions I've seen. Great photos of the rooms, the back yard, etc. I also like that you did the neighborhood profile and a utilities cost break down. These are all the things I think most people would like to know.

You might consider expanding your photography services to include real-estate marketing. Just a thought.

Sorry to hear about your lost, but I'm glad you're able to pick up and move on. Best to you in the future!

Paul

Beth

7/17/2012 12:30:10 pm

Elle - You are my brand new super hero in so many ways! May your home sell tomorrow to a wonderful couple who will be able to tell the home's story year after year. Best wishes to you and your children - I see goodness coming your way.

Broken

7/17/2012 12:32:59 pm

Hi Elle:
Thank you for posting this blog. I live in Georgia. I just uncovered the phone records from my husband phone last week. I am falling apart with no control. But reading your blog and you explaining how your mood is setting the tone for your kids has really opened my eyes. I will try harder to keep it together. Thank you - Broken

Steve link

7/17/2012 12:33:05 pm

It gets better, Elle. After precisely one ocean of tears.

:)

Sara

7/17/2012 12:35:51 pm

I think this was all clever and creative and wish you well. You have an amazing attitude.

Lori

7/17/2012 12:37:11 pm

I think you did a great job with this website and its clear that you are quite talented. Perhaps all the unwanted publicity will end up being a silver lining. You will no doubt attract many to your site that might otherwise not have taken notice.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Kara J

7/17/2012 12:37:32 pm

I think that your honesty, strength, and courage should be commended. Use your "15 minutes" of fame to the benefit of yourself and your two beautiful children. In the end everything happens for a reason, the best is obviously yet to come. Wishing the you the best of luck, you are an inspiration to many to keep your head up and also your sense of humour.

Monica link

7/17/2012 02:15:32 pm

Bless you dear! When I first saw this on Yahoo I was like OMGoodness that is too funny, but after going thru your website and reading your blog I realize that you are a strong woman.

I agree with your friends that you should start selling t-shirts, mugs and all types of stuff. You can get them at www.Vistaprint.com or www.Staples.com. The SKY is the limit!

You can still stay at home with your children with your NEW creative ideas to make money.

You are truly making lemonade out of lemons. You go girl and its true what you said: There are worst things that can happen to all of us. I wish you much success with your sweet babies and your NEW life.

May Yahweh God Bless you in Yahshua's Name,
Monica :)

Observer

7/17/2012 12:38:26 pm

What a sad story. Almost as sad is the fact that some feel compelled to make nasty remarks while you are struggling with the consequences of a failed marriage.

I do hope you sell the house and repair your life. You may not see the benefit now of being rid of El Capitan, and he may think life is great for him now, but give it time. Remember, time not only heals all wounds, it wounds all heels.

Rick

7/17/2012 12:39:39 pm

Sorry this happened to you.....

tony caccomo

7/17/2012 12:39:59 pm

you should be commended--you seem to be handling the grief part as well as most of us who went thru this--and with a tad bit more humor--congrats---keep up the great attitude--and size only counts for our hearts and minds--NOTHING else (unless you are shallow and do professional yoga!)

Tracey Rankus

7/17/2012 12:40:34 pm

Good for you!! I hope your home sells quickly so you all can start putting all these dark days behind you.

jude

7/17/2012 12:41:32 pm

great story bittersweet! :) i enjoyed the read.

Wonder Mama

7/17/2012 12:42:08 pm

After having gone through a despicably similar marital meltdown my heart goes out to you and your family. I pray that your 15 mins. of fame equates to a lifetime of joy and abundant love. Although you may have considered El Capitan "your rock", clearly his commitment to his family wasn't quite as rock solid as one would expect of a married father of (2)? Yoga appears to have many wonderful fitness/well-being/quality of life benefits. Thus making it worth the contortionist poses....or so I hear! But how does the destruction of a family and a broken covenant of marriage enhance anyone?

Nonetheless the size of your Lane Bryant capris didn't catapult your ex spouse from loving, devoted husband to blatant whoremonger status overnight. You see old married couples sitting in the park, holding hands in the grocery store or pulling up to the Walgreens pharmacy with their mate in tow. These couples didn't sustain their presumed decades of togetherness because the husband was a gallant knight and his bride a lovely damsel for whom no trouble befell. I'm sure these couples would gladly tell anyone with the insight and maturity to listen that they've weathered their share of storms. However they were able to overcome the less-than-giddy periods because they valued and honored their commitment to one another.

You appear to be on the mend and I wish you nothing less than the bounty of love, peace, forgiveness and healing that you deserve. You'll find another home for your love of Rosie the Riveter, toile and retro style. Loft beds make a great addition to any kids' room. And a vintage, formica kitchen set would make any half-pipe princess feel at home in Oregon or Timbuktu!

I'm not in Auschwitz, nor am I a jew, but if the dissolution of a marriage is the worst thing that any of us has to deal with I intend to count mine twice when I thank God for my many blessings tonight and your grandmother's wisdom is included! LOL

MK link

7/17/2012 12:43:15 pm

I think you're brilliant! You're an amazing mommy and an even better person. Go you!
I hope you sell your home soon.
All the best to you and your family.
May your ex husband gain some dignity and learn what it is to have respect and self worth. Clearly he has none.
You're a gem!

erica

7/17/2012 12:43:36 pm

Elle,
With your wit and spunk I am confident you will prevail and find yourself in a much better place. You have been through a lot and I admire your creativity and honesty. Your house is lovely and if I could relocate, your house would be the kind of home I would want to live in. It shows your love and joy and creativity and speaks to the happier times. Elle,I wish you well in your journey and I hope that life is kind to you and your children. You definitely deserve so much better than what you have been dealt. All my best to you.
Erica

Avis

7/17/2012 12:46:06 pm

I love your attitude. Sucky things happen as LIFE is happenin' and we have to put on our big girl panties and deal with it. Doesn't mean we aren't hurting, we're moving foward through the pain, 'cause we're women and that is what we do!! I wish you great happiness and much love as your journey continues!!

Alesha Gripp

7/17/2012 12:46:23 pm

What a fantastic blend of humor and heart. Would love to read more of your journey past the 15 minutes! :)

Helen

7/17/2012 12:46:29 pm

Elle, So Sorry for you and especially the children.

Anyway get biter now! Why wait? Trust me I was like u in the beginning!
Wait till the other woman becomes the "stepmom" and then it doesnt stop there, she just might become THE STEP GRANDMOTHER!!

Yea its like a generational curse! Its timeless...

and its VERY painful!

The children, well I pray for the best.However prepare now for somebad times.
But really speaking from experience....its best you all let it out NOW!
Not good to suppress the anger!
Trust me if u dont want to be bitterl, you must let it out now!
Maybe this blog is a good place to start!
Oh and HIM!! SC*REW Him and her!
Chances are she will run on him one day!
Just try to keep the kids out of that pitiful trashy situation as much as possible! Just advice from a professionally single mom of 23 yrs!!( divorced for 23 yrs, was married for 17)!

Good luck with the sale of yuor home. How sad for the babies to have to leave their home!
He should be made pay the morgtage so u and the kids could stay there!
But whatever you do, good luck!
And not to sound whacky...
but look to God! He will be there for u!
PS- we share a common interest art! I often wanted to created a line of cards using my digital art. But as a single mom..I wasnt able to afford the luxury iof pursuing my passion...
now its not too late..
but I just tucked it away..maybe....I need inspiration...lol
Helen

Mina

7/18/2012 12:34:03 am

Oh, I am so agreeing with you, Helen! Maybe Elle is better than me , but I was like that and I regret, and it made it more difficult to move foreward! I was trrying to be better than myself, trying to rise above my emotion, only feel bitter several months later looking back, why I hadto supress myself and suffered.

W. in FL

7/17/2012 12:47:32 pm

I just wanted to give you an E-hug and tell you that it will get easier every day. Hang in there. I can just tell (even through just reading your writings) that you have a lovely soul and probably a great smile too! :) Good luck with the house.

7/17/2012 12:47:42 pm

Rock on Ellen!! Like we say back home in Venezuela, looks like it was time to take the trash out. Sometimes its hard to let things go, like your beautiful house, but I am sure more beautiful things (and people) await you...

frank Lord

7/17/2012 12:48:26 pm

my wife cheated on me as well and tomorrow our divorce is final. First thing I saw on yahoo was your sign and felt it was some well timed humor. Good luck to you both and your kids!

Jenn

7/17/2012 12:48:35 pm

Good for you and f**k anyone who tries to blame any part of who you are for why he cheated. He chose the cowardly way out, He made the biggest mistake of his life because when the children are older he will have to answer for what he did to them. I am sorry for all you are going through and I hope when I finally get to get out of my messy ass marriage I stand half as proud as you have.... GOOD FOR YOU !!!! He is not worth your time anymore.

Same boat

7/17/2012 12:50:36 pm

Hey, I went through the same thing, only I was 53 when it happened, and didn't have any of the self confidence you have. But guess what? I ended up reconnecting with my very first love (from high school!) and we had a fairytale ending. Married and living in Oregon!

Gloria Hafner

7/17/2012 12:51:47 pm

you go girl! my rotten ex tried to get 1/2 of my house in Talent Oregon, which had been bought with the money from the sale of my house in California...which I inherited!!! My parent's hard earned money!!! He remarried within a year to his 7th wife. I was dumb #6, but there is someone dumber than me!
Hope the young tootsie that "nabbed" your ex finds out yoga is not only about exercise......but karma!

Kmerten

7/17/2012 12:52:05 pm

You are an amazingly strong woman. Your children are adorable and if you can even laugh just a little bit right now... you are going to be OKAY! Keeping being you... you are very strong!

If anyone is saying anything negative about you (as it says in your own post) then I would like to hear from them how they would handle this. Great job on the sign. Great job staying strong for your children. It seems like this is just the part of the healing process for you.

Cindy

7/17/2012 12:52:49 pm

I get it! He is such a idiot. As my momma (from the South) would always say, "There are a lot worse things than being alone" and living with a cheater is one of them. The house looks great and I wish you the best of luck. God bless.

lisa

7/17/2012 12:53:55 pm

elle, i am going through the same thing, but my husband had been having an affair for at least a year before i knew, can you say stupid but i trusted him until i saw on our phone bill blocked phone calls he tried to make me think it was from his daughter, but he had been changing. he hook up with his old gf from high school. his mistress moved in the next week after i moved myself, mom and daughter that was still at home out. He made it impossible for us to live there but i didn't give up our house it was for medical reasons i have asthma and he was letting his son smoke in the house. we have been married 7 years and i dont even know this man now with all he has done. i know god will see me through but this divorce has been going on for a year and a half and we are not rich people but his mistress wants everything and i live in ohio that is a 50/50 state. so i know what you are going through and i do love sign !!

knowhowitfeels

7/17/2012 12:54:06 pm

Wow..you have a good attitude...thanks for the encouragement with it. My husband left after 27 years of marriage. He did have affairs...not sure what he's doing now. You are not kidding when you said cheating is the worst thing you can do in a marriage. The use of the word catastrophic was accurate.
It's utterly disgusting to hear (read) people make comments of why you deserved to be cheated on..there is no justification for doing that to another person..
Also,I love your grandma's saying about the Jews...it's so true!
Thanks for sharing your good attitude and sense of humor with this tragic event on your life.
Hopefully your home will sell quickly.
BTW--she absolutely will leave him...and it probably won't take very long...a 22 year old?? Are you kidding me??

Ann E Mouse

7/17/2012 12:55:04 pm

I think you are creative and have a great attitude. When life hands you lemons...Rock on sista!

Sandra

7/17/2012 12:55:43 pm

All of this makes me wish I lived there so I could buy this cute little house!! More power to you momma!!!

Kathrine Clark

7/17/2012 12:58:01 pm

Elle I see 85 likes so there! I am one of them, and will continue to be in your corner. I am glad to see that you are not letting the negative people who would like nothing more than to hurt you because they think they can get away with it. You are strong and beautiful no matter what your size is. I agree with you as a plus size woman myself, and have to say that there is nothing sexier than sense of self and self confidence. YOU WILL PREVAIL in all this. Much love to you and the kids, and as usual, I am here for you.
LOVE,
Kathrine

Jim

7/17/2012 01:00:56 pm

Love your sense of humor and fortitude.
I'm a guy -- and I did something very similar to my wife years and years ago (though mine was closer to my own age at the time of about 30ish) -- but I love what you had to say and how you said it. Not wallowing in the "victim" thing. And you're quite talented and naturally intelligent. I will tell you that many many men cheat though and how can you blame a guy for not wanting to screw all the beauties the world over?

Gail link

7/17/2012 01:01:05 pm

You are the perfect example of 'when life hands you lemons, make lemonade'. I have no doubt you will land on your feet, smelling like a rose! And so will your kids! Good luck selling the house!

Sarah Waters link

7/17/2012 01:01:35 pm

All I can say is: Good for you, Elle!! Just with any divorces, one cannot help but feel a bit of sadness but apart from that, it's clear that you are going to be the winner from all of this. Your ex has no idea what and how much he has lost. From the pictures of the house that you have posted online, it's very clear how much love and hard work that you have put into it; you have made it a home. Not all women can do that. A 22-year old might be exciting and appealing to be with, but what ALL men want is a home. Your ex just doesn't know it yet. Well he will know soon enough when he, after a long tired day at work, goes back to a dirty home with nothing made and cleaned and mess everywhere, and then eating nothing but take-out everyday and still has to serve a 22-year old her in bed because she's all energized after a day of relaxing Yoga. Then he will realize how good he's had all those years that you have worked hard to give him.

As for you, Elle, all I can say is: Onward and upward!! You have a lot brighter future ahead of you because you still have what matters most to any women: family and friends. All the very best to you, hope you made a good sale on your house and a bright future!!

Jay

7/17/2012 01:03:07 pm

I think you missed your calling! You should be in marketing! Very impressed with your idea! Time for a career change! Good Luck with the Sale!

Marisela

7/17/2012 01:03:15 pm

Many blessings to you and your kids :)

Terrence H. Gris link

7/17/2012 01:03:22 pm

The guy's clearly nuts. You're amazing. Best of luck and future good times to you.

Jamie

7/17/2012 01:04:50 pm

Sadly I am in the middle of a divorce and I completely understand. My plus sized bottom has little to do with it my husband is just selfish, not unlike your ex, and he only thinks about what he wants and needs 99 percent of the time. I know exactly how you feel. It takes all I have most days. Kudos to you for having the strength to go on! Those who put you down have, more than likely, never been there. They can take their opinions and stick it!!!!!

Martha

7/17/2012 01:05:17 pm

Your blog is awesome. And, you have so much to say and can help the many women who are living with the same issues that you have shed some light on. And, you are very well written and well spoken. I (and many others I'm sure) will look forward to an ongoing blog, a website, and maybe a book! Keep on writing and good luck!

Maria

7/17/2012 01:06:16 pm

Hi Elle! Thanks for sharing. You have a gorgeous house! I wish I could buy it! I salute you and can picture myself giving you and your kids a hug and cry at the same time. Believe me, I know how it feels. I went through the same thing. My boy is now 25 and about to graduate from Architecture without "my El Capitan". That was 25 years ago!!!! yes he cheated when I was pregnant. Like you, it took courage and strength to get my head together for my boy. If you need another friend please don't hesitate to e-mail me. I will include you in my prayers. YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON!

Kimberly

7/17/2012 01:06:45 pm

I enjoyed and appreciated your blog. Keep 'em coming. I too am dealing with the aftermath of a cheating husband, which in its wake has left some very hurt & confused & mad children. It is tough, as a mother, to see your children go through this. Right now I just keep getting out of bed every morning and taking each day as they come. Stay strong and know you are not the only one going through such a life changing event!

Sergeant

7/17/2012 01:08:27 pm

The break up of your family is heart breaking. The sign is hilarious though. Good luck and I wish you all the best.
Sarge

Greg

7/17/2012 01:09:33 pm

Bravo to you...You found humor where last expected...I wish you all the best...

7/17/2012 01:10:55 pm

You go, girl!! Don't let people get you down. I love that you've turned this into a win. The best is yet to come.

Martha

7/17/2012 01:14:03 pm

I just wanted to say that I think you are so, so strong by handling this the way you are. You are incredible for holding your head up high and not saying one mean or rude thing towards your dumbass ex or his stupid yoga bitch. Let them have each other, just by reading this article I can see that you are 10 times a better person than both of them combined. When their relationship falls apart after one of them strays from the other, you will already be long gone, and probably with someone else who is going to treat you and your kids way better than your ex ever could have. Keep holding your head up high, some day it will all be worth it.

Sima

7/17/2012 01:15:21 pm

You go girl!!!!

Mia

7/17/2012 01:16:52 pm

Elle, hello, even though im not in the market for a house there in Oregon, i want to say " you go girl"! Dont let any negative remarks about what you are doing or what youve done so far about selling your house. I feel you have been honest and up front about all that has happened to you and your children. If this way gets you buyers for your home then so be it! My heart feels for you because I went thur the exact thing except I lived in Corvallis, OR a few years ago. My ex left us for a woman who was 14 years younger than him, he was 50 at the time. Total surprise too! I have to say though there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In the end ive been totally blessed! Hang in there, my friend! Mia :)

andrea

7/17/2012 01:19:34 pm

"Hi..Just HAD to drop a line. Must say I admire your ability to pull yourself up and move ahead. I know how it started with faking it for your kids...it is what Mothers do in many ways ...putting on that smile to help them along a rough road when you feel like throwing yourself off a bridge. At times the only thing that brings you any joy is your children...funny how that is. You are so right about it not being about your "Capri pants"...it never is. It was not about me cutting my hair either! After 20+ yrs...a darling child..house..animals.. good jobs etc..he choose "The Drink" I was sadder than madder and some did not get it...he was my world. You seem to have an attitude of '' I can" and I am sure you have your moments of being unsure and "I do not want to" But you do it. That will no doubt carry you along to whatever is waiting for you. I love your sense of humor and you have a beautiful home...I imagine a family will fill that house with the love you started there. I am 60 yrs old and have learned " Sometimes you just have to bury the dream"....and then step back...rest...and dream another dream !! Who said we only get one??? So go along young woman..love yourself...love your kids....love your life! You will be just fine...My Warmest Regards....Bammie

Karen

7/17/2012 01:21:39 pm

I've been through it too. It was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life. It changed me forever. So much grieving to be done. I can promise you this: You WILL get through it. I love the spunk you have on your website. All those tearful nights......they will come to an end, and you will find joy again. God is so gracious. I know this for a fact.

Martha Q B link

7/17/2012 01:22:06 pm

Elle, I read your blog and I congratulate you. You are so right when you say she can't take your joy (no one can) You are an incredible woman and I am sharing your story with other women. I'ts up to us to look out for those who pay the price for adult's foolish action.... our children. We have to teach them how to keep it all together and not fall apart. And that strength ONLY comes from within you (God put it there) because Greater is HE who is in you (Jesus) than he that's in the world. God bless you

kim

7/17/2012 01:25:22 pm

Elle-
I saw the pictures and read the detailed descriptions you wrote regarding your home. I do not see a bitter vindictive scorned woman in your words. I see the mother of two beloved children over-come with the memories of being a family in the house you "built" with El Capitan.
I wish I could say that every day after this gets easier. There are good days and bad just like in your marriage. There will be wistful days wishing that somehow things had not changed to create the upheaval of your life and that somehow you can go back. Those are the toughest. You know where you are is where you belong- but children crying why can't things be the same or somehow missed activities or hurts from the other parent will tear at you and sometimes threaten to destroy you..... but remember that there are many others who went before you and will answer the phone to help you put in perspective the rough days.
Happier, even easier days will soon show themselves, when you can make your own decisions, and create your own story- not just a result of 15 minutes of undesired fame.
Be strong, Be loving to yourself and to your children and family. Be you. Take the time to find who you are after all the dust settles. It can be wonderful.

Maria

7/17/2012 01:27:19 pm

You take care of yourself Elle! I know too well your plight! Stay strong, live well and keep you and your children safe and loved! My attorney once said to me "The best revenge is to be happy." Take care and god speed on your journey.

Brenda

7/17/2012 01:29:41 pm

Your words are real and I think that is why so many people are interested in your story. In this day in age too many people have lost the sacredness of marriage. There are too many selfish people going around destroying marriages and ruining families. As a child of an adulterer I have experienced the pain caused by selfish acts of a parent. I would love to her more of your story, it is like therapy to hear other's stories and true feelings. Thank You Elle and stay strong!

Kristen

7/17/2012 01:30:00 pm

Your positive attitude and approach to this whole situation is amazing!

Demolition Woman

7/17/2012 01:30:33 pm

This really resonated with me. My husband of 22 years (ironic??) cheated on me-I literally walked in on them on the new sofa he'd bought me because he knew I'd love it-with a woman who could have been my twin. I know where you're coming from.

I've chosen, so far, to stay with him, but not sure it's going to stick. Keep posting so I can make up my mind! You're my new hero.

Mercy Ventura link

7/17/2012 01:33:24 pm

You are not alone:

First I would like to congratulate you, been strong, positive and at the same time, looking at the funny part of the story. Your children are beautiful, your house is perfect, and your x does not know what he's missing..**THE LOVE OF A FAMILY**

I'm an investigator, whose been working cases of infidelity, child custody, for the past 20 years. I will surely love to talk to you.
I love your sense of humor, and know there is a reason for everything in life.

You are a perfect example for all the woman out there. You will meet someone who will love you and appreciate you as you are.

She can be 22, but you have something that noone can take away from you, and that is the love of your two children.

Many Blessing

Mone't

7/17/2012 01:35:57 pm

Elle, I commend you for the courage to tell your story and find comfort for "YOU" and for your children. It takes strength to smile when all you may want to do is cry, scream, yell, and be angry. However; after you do all of that, it does not change what happened!

I truly wish you and your children the absolute best. Well wishes with a buyer for the house as well. What you all did with the home was really nice.

By the way, no disrespect intended for the "Ex" but his actions and the decision he made to cheat had NOTHING to do with you. It had everything to do with solely him and his beliefs and morals. Clearly, it may have taken 10 years to see it but you all did not share the same beliefs in that particular aspect.

Something I always remember, in school we were given the lesson then the test but in LIFE we are given the test then learn the lesson. Be Blessed, Lady.

sarah

7/17/2012 01:36:21 pm

your words are inspiring my husband who i had been with since i was 16 (i am now 38) had an affair with a 25 year old & thought he had gotten her pregnat she turned out not 2 b after all but damage was done she was younger but dumber guess it made him feel good 2 know that he could get someone that young i mean come on he met her when she was working at burger king what did he expect it was hard 2 realize that he could do that but ur right she got him shes not getting the rest & then after all that turned out he didnt really want her either 2 bad cuz now he cant have me either life moves on & we learn that there wasnt anything we could have done 2 prevent what he was going 2 do they r grown men & r responsible 4 their own actions its not our fault they were 2 weak 2 b men & do what was right if they wanted out then they should have spoken up & done so not been cowards & lied & manipulated & then turn it on us like we made them i had seen men younger & better looking than my husband men who were interested but i never did anything all we can do now is hold our heads up be proud of our kids & show them that it didnt break us ya we're sad but so what i was happy 2 & i will be again

demi

7/17/2012 01:39:49 pm

Happened to me too. God bless you, honey. Which I could have your attitude.

Erin

7/17/2012 01:42:26 pm

You go girl! Keep your chin up and a smile on your face. I wish you happiness ;)

cecil

7/17/2012 01:44:59 pm

you are such a strong beautiful lady...to deal with a divorce and turn it into a marketing campaign to sell your home...very smart...and pretty...he was an asshole...id love to chat with you sometime...its crazy to think i have any chance but i had to try..good luck and ill be waiting...

Cheryl

7/17/2012 01:45:29 pm

I truly commend you for all you do. I have been cheated on 4 times by my husband but for some odd ball stupidity reason, we are still together. Oh the days and nights of crying and crying and just trying to get the day was the hardest part. Now a days for me there is always that "when is he gonna do it again". My friends (or those who truly know me) wonder how I do it, well you fake it till you make it. I have a few things to situate in my life but the divorce is coming, it will be hard and sad but I am tired of being unhappy, I always thought "happiness was a give and take till he always took it and I stupidly gave it" Again Elle I commend you and your strength. You have a beautiful home!

Tyra

7/17/2012 01:46:20 pm

Elle I dont know you but I truely fill your pain.I am recently divorced with 2 girls age 11,and 9. I was married 14 yrs with man that lied,cheated, to me for many years.Let's go back he was my my highschool sweetheart,went college and married him. Had a fairytale wedding,and then had two beautiful girls. I have had a wonderful life but I was with man who never seem happy.Depressed,constantly seraching for more. I couldnt understand but I do now.I am nurse and I have always worked hard.Grateful that mom/grandmother always encouraged me to go college and never depend on anyone but self and God..this is reason I am making it now.I hurt for you deeply..divorce is like openn heart surgery... a wound that takes long time to heal. I do know I am healing very slowly... Now I working hard at forgiving this man not for him but for me...I need to let go so that I can find happiness again.I realize as long as I hold on to to this bitterness I am still allowing this man to still have control over me...see what I have learned on this journey for past 8 months is that a broken spirt comes from a broken heart..but there is nothing in God economy beyond repair. God does his best work with broken pieces..he can retore you and use you mightly if you have faith and believe.I wish you and your kids life feel with love,happiness,laughter...my your healing begin one day at time. Your story touched me and I felt need to share mine..just little more privately..lol.. please feel free to send me email..I do hope you find your way!!! Good Luck...

signed..still hurting from the pain...

Karin link

7/17/2012 01:46:50 pm

YOU GO GIRL! I love your moxie! Keep writing (or is it blogging?)
and I will keep reading. Love your sense of humor and your artist's eye! The flowers are beautiful and your love of family is apparent in every space inside and outside your greatfamilyhome.

Lori

7/17/2012 01:48:07 pm

My congratulations to you both for the maturity that you have shown through this difficult time. I too am divorced & I was 37 with 3 kids when that happened. For the same reason but funny thing is it didn't turn out like yours. I wish it had. It took me 4 years just to finalize and we didn't have money so the stalling was finally put to rest by the judge, NOT by him. He refused to sign but said he didn't want me. So I was a tad bit confused. LOL. Anyway, I pray daily that the day will come that we can be like you two. Thank you for the inspiration. And you are sooooo right........if this is the worst thing my children go through I am a pretty good mom.

kevin

7/17/2012 01:48:49 pm

you are A-W-E-S-O-M-E....and damn funny. if this site / blog are an indication of your personality/sense of humor/etc then i see great things for you in your future (no, im not a member of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends network). get yourself ready, you are going to be on tv very soon. i think you should also contact the producers of various HGTV shows (you have my email address if you want specifics).....but with all the coverage my hunch is you will sell very soon. thank you and you are an inspiration to others struggling through ....well lets just say life stuff....good luck

bob

7/17/2012 01:52:12 pm

i doint blame him

ace

7/17/2012 02:02:14 pm

"bob" -

1. You are a douche
2. Doint is not a word

Cheated on too

7/17/2012 01:53:05 pm

I know your pain. Thanks for the advice to keep a smile on my face around the kids! ;0)

Amber link

7/17/2012 01:53:33 pm

WOW~ I admire you for your strength. I think you are very brave and everything WILL absolutely be fine! You have your beautiful children and in no time you will be glowing with FULL happiness and no more tears. I think you are an AMAZING person by the way .................the pants size .............no biggie. You are who you are .....and obviously you have a GREAT sense of humor personality, and are a great mother!!!!!:) GOOD LUCK
your friend
Amber

Friday

7/17/2012 01:53:54 pm

Hi Elle:
I understand what you've been through and hope you get back to your normal life soon. Just focus on your kids, yourself and do things that make you happy. Don't rely on anyone to make you happy. We can do it for ourselves. Forget about the cheater! It's not worth to waste your time, your emotion ... for a cheater. Be strong, Elle!

Lorna

7/17/2012 01:54:11 pm

First, your ex is clearly a dumbass, because you are absolutely hilarious. Was intrigued by the news link and read your blog and laughed out loud. Went to your card site and realized he is REALLY a nincompoop for letting you go--it's doubtful the semi-chippy homewrecker has your talent with a camera or your obvious love for what you do (okay, so it takes two to tango, but whatever). You hang in there, girl. Someone with smarts and moxie like yours will go far. I hope you get lots of business out of this.

Ruth

7/17/2012 02:00:08 pm

No self-respecting woman in her right mind gets involved with a married man. What kind of moron could go for a guy who has established that he a) has no character b) has no respect for the vows he took c) can look the mother of his children in the eye and lie to her face and d) is so selfish that he is willing to ruin the lives of the woman he swore to love, honor and cherish, and the children he was supposed to love and protect--and somehow think she's getting quite the catch?

And ladies, if he'll do it WITH ya, you better believe he'll do it TO ya, no matter how much you whine that "He really loves ME!" So the first time he calls her to say he's "working late" (or whatever he told you while the two of them were screwing around), she will sweat blood. She will continue to sweat blood every time he uses that excuse, and so she should.

El Capitan and Yoga Chick should both be ashamed of themselves--YOU can hold your head high.

Portland Girl

7/17/2012 02:00:15 pm

Wow, I saw the news story this morning and lo and behold you're on Yahoo News tonight. I just want to say I'm sorry for the mean comments you've apparently gotten from others - there are people who troll the internet for the very purpose of being nasty to others - it just means their own lives are crap and they want to share the 'love' so to speak. Keep on keeping on - you will find your way out of this (it sounds like you've already started) and it is clear that you are doing what is best for you and your kids. I'll be sending you lots of good wishes and real-estate luck from SE PDX!

patty

7/17/2012 02:00:48 pm

You are right, it does not matter what others say, and I believe it is wrong to cheat, unfortunately there are many without a conscience. My ex left me for a best-friend then I found he had been flirting with a family member, but regardless, it was in God's hands and I am glad for the personal growth. Good luck!!!

Sandra

7/17/2012 02:04:09 pm

you go girl went throu the some thing myself with a child in toe. just remember there better days ahead be strong and tough. i'm now remarried to even better more caring man and he is all alone lol good luck to you and yours and hang in there you will find some better to

Meg

7/17/2012 02:05:02 pm

Cut his dick off!

Robert

7/17/2012 02:05:37 pm

Just wanted to wish you all the best... I'm sure things will all work out, as others here have said, you do seem to have a lot going for you.

Jersey

7/17/2012 02:06:58 pm

You should be the next bachelorette... you go girl.

Sisterfriend

7/17/2012 02:07:03 pm

The best revenge is to let the other woman have him! I bet by the time young-missy runs him up the wall with all her 22-25 year old gaga-chatter and instagrams, and by the time he falls asleep snoring them funky xrated zzzzz's for the zillionth time while she's pouting that they "never have any fun anymore". . .you my dear, will be farther along with what really matters in life. Keep living, dreaming, and advancing as a woman of substance!

***And tuck this in your heart for all the haters: True beauty comes from within the heart, not from a dress or pant size***

Laurie

7/17/2012 02:09:10 pm

I went through the same thing as you...we managed to stay together, but there are still times when it hurts just as bad as the moment I found out. Go and build a new life....your old one wasn't working anyways, and now you get to drive the bus. Good luck.

M C

7/17/2012 02:14:38 pm

I love your website. Did you build it yourself?
I was married 20 years - he left me for a dozen (hookers, strippers, British fortune hunters, etc.) - 20 years! But, at least you have your house. My ex took out a second mortgage in order to afford his hobby: questionable women! and then lost his job.
Good luck to you, you are young!

Phoenix

7/17/2012 02:14:40 pm

My..well, we were never married but he's still -the- ex..we were together for what..6 years on and off? He cheated on me..many times, and I kept taking him back. He said..if I loved him unconditionally, that means I'd forgive him for being a fuckin doorknob (or...perhaps he's the master key?). His ex told me the same thing, though, she was still madly in love with him. She was the first woman to tell me that he belongs to her and that they are and always will be "soul mates"..the second was some wrinkly old broad that was madly in love with him as well. Said he belonged to HER...I hated both of them. Felt what they were saying was -very- disrespectful to our relationship though, they didn't feel that way, because I was way younger (he was 14 years my senior, but yes, I did start dating him when I was legal). So yeah...I was "too young" so they could just say whatever they wanted.

Anyway..his pot smoking habit, and his drive for sex and "parties" was more important than our daughter and myself..whom stayed by his side and WAITED on him even after he'd gone to prison for some stupid shit he'd done before he met me (which, I honestly do not blame him for what he did..). But yeah....
At the end of it all, he blamed ME..for our failure. Because, I was not his "sex" goddess. I stopped giving him sex when I knew he was cheating on me. He even cheated on me while I was pregnant and still wanted me to give it up to him.

Yeah, it's MY fault because I didn't want to contract some disease though, I'm still waiting for a remission of HIV/AIDS to show up at some point (since, you can carry the virus forever with no signs, and then it randomly rears it's ugly head. True story). If that happens..he better hope he's already dead. That and, his sexual drive was just..way too much. Sex became a chore to me, it really did. I didn't enjoy it anymore.

Anyway, good luck to you and all, sorry your ex had to be a douche and leave you for some young most likely bimbo.

Bill

7/17/2012 02:16:29 pm

Elle, sorry you had to deal with this crap. Your Ex is a jackass. I guess he blew his opertunity to be a good roll model. I like what you have done with the website and blogs. I am in the process of finalizing a 3 year divorce too. My exwife descided that she needed a change with a younger version of me. I have three young kids. It is a life chaging event, but I must admit, I am happy and looking forward as I am sure you are to the start of a new chapter in life. Keep up your outstanding aditude. Hold your head up high. Stay focused on your kids. You will go far in life!

Erica

7/17/2012 02:17:37 pm

What an inspirational attitude you have toward life itself and hard times. Saw this on a friend's Facebook and it caught my eye. Hope you sell your house soon!

Sandi

7/17/2012 02:19:44 pm

Elle, I am so proud of you for taking the high road and trying to maintain your sense of humor through this challenging time in your life! Having been through a similar situation, my one piece of advice would be to replace the piece of moulding that was used as the children's growth chart, so you can bring it with you to your new home. It's an irreplaceable treasure! I used the bathroom wall, so I wasn't able to take mine with me. I am still sad about it 3 yrs later. Best of luck to you. You deserve much happiness and joy in your future!!!

Connie link

7/17/2012 02:21:26 pm

Elle- You will survive this. You are filled with humor and panache and who knows with your chutzpa you may even get a book deal or a film deal. I went through it 28 years ago. Two houses, one rental and with an ocean view complete with a cheating, son of a bitch, lawyer husband. I walked on it all with 15 grand and got on with my life because I knew deep in my soul that fighting for the rest of my life over money and property with a friggin litigator that I made the mistake of marrying was not a productive way to spend my time. I have been happily living in sin for the last 27 years with my soulmate and I will never, ever get married again. It is tantamount to slavery in my opinion. You Rock Baby XOXOX

Changling

7/17/2012 02:22:56 pm

Elle-

Selling the magnets is a GREAT idea! I hope you sell enough to buy another house, start a business, write a book and make a movie! The possibilities are endless, so never let someone else tell you it can't be done. This is how JK Rowlings got her start. Use this as an inspiration to move forward and be something that you might never have dreamed of being.

Best of luck to you~

Tara

7/17/2012 02:23:18 pm

The only one I feel sorry for is that girl he is with now. What a sad person she must be to feel like she can trust a guy like him. No self respect.

You're amazing Elle...so personable and must say...from what I saw you are a pretty darn good public speaker. One wise 'voluptuous' woman once said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" haha!!

Jessica N.

7/17/2012 02:28:31 pm

Cute house, FANTASTIC marketing approach and oh my God your kids are adorable and certainly talented! Please let me know how the heck you managed to teach young young children how to board like that! :) Goodluck and hope the magnets sell like hotcakes!

Single and Lovin' It

7/17/2012 02:35:16 pm

Hey Elle...Good for you! I am recently divorced, with 2 children. I'm the one who filed for various reasons. Although my ex claimed to not want the divorce, that didn't stop him from moving in with an unknown woman the night he moved out of the family home. Oh let me rephrase that...he moved into a house that he and she chose to rent together. His mantra thru the whole thing was "let the court decide" and they did...much to his disappointment of how things turned out...it goes that way when you hook up with a woman who is not fit to be around your kids. We are now headed back to court because he has a new lawyer that has promised him the moon and he wants custody of the kids, the guardian that had to be involved removed and numerous other things. I really didn't think things would turn out this horrible and the ex and I are not on speaking terms and I'm appalled that he gave my cell number to her so she could text me questions about my kids! I was married for 16 years and am glad I pulled the plug because he has really shown his true colors. Good for the two of you to think of your kids and keep it light but it is a life changing event. I don't regret mine one bit, just wish it woulda turned out a little differently.

carrie gless

7/17/2012 02:35:48 pm

I really feel for you. I had a cheating ex-fiance' that I lived with. It is very painful. He would sneak in the bathroom at 5:00 am in the morning and talk on the phone with the door locked for 20 minutes. Or when his phone rang at 1:00 in the morning on new years I tried to answer it his hand caught mine so fast. And he would not let me see who it was. Finally, it rang when he was outside, I was scared to see who it was but I had to. It was a girl. I looked in his phone and there were about 13 girls phone numbers. I finally confronted him and said you have all these girls phone numbers he said "No Da". I moved out. In the past year I have seen at least 7 different 22 year olds on the back of his motorcycle. It is very hard to see. I try not to look. He told me he met a "smokin" hot blue eyed blond. who was 25. Who thought he was sexy, funny, and smart. The part I resent is he always accused me of cheating when all I was doing was going to nursing school to better both of ourt lives. Ha Ha. So much for that. But, I am still finishing nursing school anyway. To better my life. So what ever happened to the "22" year old? Did they stay together? Good luck to you! He and my ex are jerks!!

MJ23

7/17/2012 02:36:09 pm

WOW.. I thought I was reading about me in 2001.Only I walked in on it. I wish you and your children all the best. Things will get better.

mary o

7/17/2012 02:44:59 pm

it is sad when ever a famioy is torn apart. it seems that most cheating partners are driven soley by the seat of their pants. i would like to serve notice on the cheating partners out there. the bible said you would reap what you sow. so if you sow heartache you will reap heartache, pain, you'll reap pain. get the .yourself. just because it has not happened yet doesn't mean it won't. the bible cannot lie.

Ruby from south Texas

7/17/2012 03:49:17 pm

Amen to that!!!

Trish

7/17/2012 02:49:24 pm

YOU ARE AMAZING!!

7/17/2012 02:51:13 pm

Elle, stay strong. And know that in the entire span of a lifetime this could mean nothing more than moving on to whatever is more important. That was the polie, I just met you, comfort remark.

I like to be polite but some things just don't ever come out that way. My first instinct was to say, "pace yourself". Your strength means your limit may again be expanded. I was in the same place you are now, raised an autistic son, met the greatest guy at 43. An amazing intelligent man who loved people and wine especially both at the same time. We laughed nearly every day, made a plan for retirement and were in the home stretch to retirement. We were. Our jobs take us out of state sometimes to different locations so we spent time apart. It just made the time together more fun, full, important.

Son became caretaker of our happy little home. We'd begun to make improvements and updates and liked what we accomplished. Our short time at home was spent scrambling to catch up, spend tmie together and enjoy our time.

I'm getting wordy and I don't mean to. My son developed schizophrenia. The love of my life and who I would get to see in another week didn't even get out of the airport shuttle before my son shot and killed him. He's now on continuous evaluation while lawyers decide if he should be in prison or the mental hospital. I love him very much and am able to separate the decent person I raised from the mental disease.

And I'm still in love with my partner and feel I will be for the rest of my life. I don't laugh as much any more. People ask, "Are you Okay?", and I say yes. But to a few I confess, "how could anyone be okay? I'm pushing forward but I'll never be okay."

Are we strong because we can laugh? Does our laughter give away the strength that has to constantly be tested? Pace yourself, you've got a ways to go yet.

And finally, drop the lols, you're funny without that annoying cue, and if you maintain your website, I'd be happy to proof the goofs and get them back to you. You have something here. If not a blog that could attract thousands, but things to maket, maybe even a book to write. You just keep smiling.

jaimey link

7/17/2012 02:52:37 pm

I am glad I can count you on my list of friends. I am really proud of the way you are handling all this and know you will always stand on your own two feet with grace. <3 you!

Kirstin

7/17/2012 02:53:28 pm

Elle

Wishing you all the best and love your outlook. Stay strong and keep your smile.... Life has a way of taking you to where you should be. Stay open and positive

PJ link

7/17/2012 02:54:25 pm

Elle,

I just wanted to say "Bravo!" to you for taking the high road and not giving in to the (very understandable yet ill advised) desire for revenge against your ex-husband. I admire your ability to maintain your sense of humor during this rough time in your life, too.

I experienced much the same thing as you except my ex decided he wanted a sugar mama and left for an older woman I lovingly refer to as "the hag." (Seriously, the woman was ugly and she NEVER smiled.)

To this day, I feel like I owe her a debt of gratitude, though. Had she not "stolen my man" I never would have went back to college, met the love of my life or had a career. (We married very young and the ex was extremely controlling.) I'm fully convinced that everything happens for a reason. We're just too close to the action to see what that reason is.

Like you and your ex, we didn't put our son in the middle of our differences. We let him decide where he wanted to be on any given weekend--with his dad or with me--and never allowed him to play us against each other like children of divorced parents inevitably try to do. Because of that, 15+ yrs later, we have a grown son who is well adjusted and is secure in the knowledge that he is unconditionally loved by both his parents.

So, take comfort in knowing that you're doing it right. Not all kids are the same, of course, but you're giving yours the best possible chance of coming out of this unscarred. Given the circumstances, you can't ask for much better than that...except for maybe the bimbo to drop the ex like a hot potato. (haha! Sorry, ex-hubby, if you're reading this, but girls gotta stick together.) I'm not embarassed to admit that my evil side snickered just a tiny bit when I heard that the ex got the boot from his sugar mama a few years back. Karma is a b*****, boys and girls.

Anyway, I've rambled on and really all I wanted to say was, Bravo, Elle! :)

Take good care and good luck with selling your house! It's lovely and the website idea is brilliant.

- PJ

7/17/2012 02:56:56 pm

Elle,

you ROCK!! keep your head high and spirits higher.

Aloha!

C J lackey

7/17/2012 02:57:54 pm

May the lord be with you all . we keep u all in pray for the best

Amy

7/17/2012 02:58:59 pm

I just have to say that your attitude is amazing! I wish you nothing but the best of luck and I hope you keep writing because you are very good at it! While my husband did not cheat, he abandoned and now after being divorced for 6 months and I still struggle with anger and I worry about how it affects the children. But you are right, when I smile, they smile and that is the best medicine. Remember living well is the best revenge! I hope you get multiple offers on your home. Blessings to you and your family. :)

Rock On

7/17/2012 03:01:51 pm

Sometimes pasting on the smile is all that you can do. Use the support that is coming in from around the world as an inspiration that you ARE doing the right thing, for yourself and your children.

Alex

7/17/2012 03:08:47 pm

Hope you can sell the house and be happy. My wife read your blog and told me that this better not happen to her. It will not as I love her very much. Your husband is not a good person by living 2 kids without a Dad.

Susan

7/17/2012 03:15:38 pm

Wow I have to say I applaude you for handling this with grace and dignity. I do not know that I would be able to do the same. You are right in that the children need to be able to move on and I love that you found your salvation in them. Good for you for trying to move on with your life. I love the marketing scheme too. I have to say I did a ouble take when I saw the headline.

Tabby

7/17/2012 03:27:46 pm

Super cute home. It has clearly been a lovely place and am sad that you are having to leave in. I'm stuck in a marriage, no cheating, but who really knows sometimes. Your blog is spunky and a great read. I admire your strength and dedication to your children, my Mother always told me there is no harder job in the world than being a Mom. God Bless, Tabby. -Houston, Tx.

Serenity

7/17/2012 03:32:31 pm

I love the house you're selling! Good luck with the sale!

Ruby from south Texas

7/17/2012 03:48:05 pm

I just love your sign! Great Idea & a way to embarrass him! The upside to think about is that This 22 yr old will eventually leave him for another 22 yr old! Hahahahaha & you will have the last laugh!! God bless you & your kids.

Tamara

7/17/2012 03:48:54 pm

Wow you should like you are making lemonade out of lemons! I applaude you! Keep it up! Also seems like your keeping you and your exes relationship on the best footing possible in this situation which since you have kids together is what they need more than anything. You keep doing you because its Awesome!

Alf wickmark

7/17/2012 04:07:08 pm

http://www.expressen.se/leva-och-bo/hon-skyltar-med-ex-makens-affar/

(news in Sweden)

Shim

7/17/2012 04:07:38 pm

Elle,

Your ex-husband leaving you for a 22 yr old does not define you. It only proves that he is going through a mid-life crisis and isnt happy with who he is. He not only betrayed you but also your two children. He will realize that one day, but it will be too late. Alone and sad is most likely how he will end up. 22 yr old.. HA! Lets see what she can offer him.....And, a 22 yr old has the attention span of a gnat. If they are together when she is 23 and a half will be a surprise to us all even her.

You are a deeply ambitious woman with the strenght of a lioness. I am 100% certain that this darkness will bring much light into your life. I am also certain that you will have a multi-million dollar cards and stuff company soon based on all of this recent media attention! Also, your drive to make your children your #1 priority is honorable, inspiring, and simply amazing.

I'm happy for you! =)

Cheers!

SZ

Jennifer Jeffries

7/17/2012 04:42:13 pm

I seen your story on the news on Yahoo. I am sorry, I can't relate to your situation and my first thought was that the sign was weird, however, seeing your website and magnets for sale- I think it's such a wonderful idea! Nothing weird about any of it. You are pretty amazing. Your home is beautiful and so are you! Many blessings to you and your children. You are in our prayers. Kudos to you!

Michele

7/17/2012 04:55:28 pm

interesting story!

Jasmine link

7/17/2012 05:19:03 pm

Such a brilliant idea! I know you're just selling magnets, but why don't you just open a shop on Zazzle.com, put your design on there and sell it on a bunch of different products? You don't have to ship anything out, just upload the products and let the cash roll in. :) Good luck to you!

Imanie

7/17/2012 05:21:05 pm

You seem to be a truly wonderful person, and a fantastic mommy. This man does not know what he lost, but he may find out. Regardless, you get to be the one who stayed strong and moved on. Go for you, keep your chin up high. And PS... a woman's size does NOT change how beautiful she is, so don't listen to the losers out there who can't see that yet. Best wishes.

Jessica

7/17/2012 05:25:59 pm

Elle,
You are such an amazing and wonderful woman! Your ex is a fool for letting you go for someone around my age. All these homewrecking beotches are worried about is where their next meal is coming from or what to wear out. Karma will get him and he will be left wondering what if I did not leave her or where would we be at this point in our lives? As a woman who has lost a child, I feel for you having to leave your lily garden. I laughed and cried throughout the entire site. I would take at least one of each lily so you can continue to remember the baby you would never get to meet or even have a contract with the new owner that allows you to come visit the garden on that day or whenever you choose. I do hope the new owner keeps your bathroom the same way it is now. Your house is gorgeous but I LOVE the bathroom! You have an amazing sense of humor and resilience about you! God Bless You and Your Sweet Children! Keep your head up high and continue to smile! Smiles are contagious! :) Please continue to write in the blog. You have another follower who will read it if you continue. Best of Luck from Florida!

Faye link

7/17/2012 05:36:58 pm

I know how you feel and it will get better. It's unfortunate how so many individuals quit on their marriages, so very quickly, these days. They try to fill in emptiness the wrong way, and they don't realize how much more work the new relationship will take to survive.

From the Middle East

7/17/2012 05:44:50 pm

You are brave. I was in the same boat. I am a father with 2 boys. I love them to death. Normally, the person who cheats is the one that loses out. Give your children everything they need and all the love they deserve at this age. Educate them so they grow up to be very successful in life. Your Ex will one day realize what he lost. Every year, Mothers Day and Fathers Day is rightfully dedicated to people who give their all for their children. Good Luck ...

Emily

7/17/2012 05:46:25 pm

Hey Girl,

Hope that's your business line on the magnet! Keep the number to do custom magnets for folks that call. Also, look into Etsy to make other divorce magnets or cards if you haven't already. This could be good stuff for ya! I know it wasn't revenge on your part, but if people want revenge magnets, or magnets that are sweet or funny or hopeful, make them all!

Can I ask you to please take some private time away from the kids to kickbox the shizah out of something? Don't you dare hold all that inside because you don't deserve it. I can't believe YOU moved HIS stuff - he's responsible for his stuff, not you! And remember the kiddies are going to also see how you feel too - glad you have on a happy face but don't fake it too much - you ain't a doormat.

Love!

Rene

7/17/2012 06:23:53 pm

I just wanted to tell you how inspiring you are. If I had the money and lived in your area, I would buy your house just because you seem like such a rad person (your story about the lily garden broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes). My sister and several close friends have all been victims of cheating and you are absolutely right that it is the WORST thing a person can go through. You're approaching it with humor, though, and that's a difficult thing. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself, moving on for your children and giving us, and yourself, a good laugh in the process. I wish you all the best (and I hope that El Captain finds himself the cheatee after the 22 year old child cheats on him). Keep your head high! And ignore the media...worthless bags of crap. :)

Jessi

7/17/2012 07:04:00 pm

As a woman whose been in your shoes I can relate and I must say I admire the humorous approach you've taken to the situation. that being said you seem to be focusing a lot of your anger on the other woman and not your "ex" both parties are guilty but your blog talks of how you two are getting along etc..and what a homerecking biotch she is. It takes two to tango, don't forget that. There's a lot more to infidelity than just the cheater being at fault. If you have the means I highly suggest personal counseling to help deal with all the emotions you're feeling. It helped me a lot when I went through a similar situation. T&P to you and your family.

ChristyfromTulsa

7/17/2012 07:51:46 pm

Hang in there sweetie! So glad you took the power back for yourself and in a year or so, your husband will be the one dumped for someone who can keep up with her and as you move on he will realize he's lost on something that can never be replaced. My friend took back the power her husband had over her and 3 years later she married her best friend who treats her like a goddess. Best of luck.

Lorna

7/17/2012 07:51:47 pm

Elle,
I applaud you and you courage!!!I wish I had the same attitude when I went through my divorce with my cheating ex-husband!!God bless you and your babies!They will keep you going,they are the best of him and after them nothing else matters.And quite frankly if you look deep he's not worth having anymore I'm sure!!Believe me karma is a big ol b*tch and she WILL come after them with a vengeance!!!Best of luck to you lady,please continue to blog.At this point I think is therapy for some of us!;)

Annette

7/17/2012 07:53:54 pm

Elle,
I read your story, and felt compelled to write...your story parallels my story. Thank you Elle for the blog. You are strong woman! What a creative way to move foward with your life. I look forward to reading your next blog.

Racheal

7/17/2012 08:13:06 pm

Elle,

I wanted to say good for you. This same thing happened to me about 7 years ago. He left me for a younger woman and we had to kids. We were married for 14 years. I was really young when we meet and had our first child. We were military and moved away many times. It was great until one day he did the samething and I found an email that said everything they did. I was still in my 20's when he left and was still looking good. So it was not my looks. He wanted someone who can just get up and leave and not worry about the wife or the kids with him. Long story short my ex and his "new" girlfriend keep saying things like you will never find a man, you are a loser, and we are going to get married and last a lot longer then you guys did and we will never leave each other..BLAH BLAH. He had a baby with her while we were going through the divorce. Now that was hurtful. So now it is 7 years later. We are not close friends, but we are ok with each other. About a week ago he told me that they broke up and that she is now with his friend. KARMA!!!! I am now married to a wonderful man. Keep your head up and know that things will be better and you will have the last laugh... You have my email if you would like to talk..It does take time, but you will look back and be stronger for it. Keep your family, friends and faith!! That is what helped me through the hard times..

Teacher

7/17/2012 08:18:52 pm

You are so brave. I am 36 and I am still single... however I am so influence with your positivity. You are so right with your decisions to move on and to look after the kids future. Your story really touched me. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mother... you are the best mother in the world. More blessing will come in your life. GOOD KARMA will come.

Monica deLeon

7/17/2012 08:19:52 pm

Congratulations on your new life! I have been there. Going through a divorce tears you up on the inside with feelings of "what if's" and " I should have's." When it is all said and done you will be the one to come out on top. After all he is the one that decided to cheat while you were taking care of the house, the kids, the errands, and no doubt him also. At least you won't have another to pick up after.
Your stregth and courage is a shining light to all who are going through the same or similar situation. Again, congratuations on your new life.

Sandi Kelch link

7/17/2012 08:44:08 pm

Elle,
Over Christmas of 2011, my husband of 22 years left me for not one but several women. One of the women was a much younger employee that I hired for our business 6 years prior. I paid her bills, helped her reconsile with her family and bailed her out of trouble time and time again. Her "thank you" was to destroy my family, which included 2 disabled children.

When all misdeeds came to light, I discovered that it was the "worst best thing" that ever happned to me. I am embracing my new found freedom, rediscovered past buried dreams, and have created a wonderful life for myself. He, on the other hand, has been through at least 6 girlfriends in the past year. He is currently supporting his current girlfriend, her 2 daughters, his side dish (yep, they don't change), and her son. Only one of the above has a job, but pays no rent. When i do see him, he looks like crap and appears stressed and miserable...WOOT WOOT for Karma!!

The casualties were my 2 boys, for which I will never forgive all involved parties. However, they have become very independent and mature through this experience and I am very proud of them.

A very wise and experienced friend told me it takes a full year to recover from this...it does. When that day arrives, you will know! Until then keep that spirit that shines through this blog!

Bravo Girl!!

Bonnie

7/17/2012 09:15:33 pm

I love what you did to sell your home! I love your humor and outlook! I don't have any idea what you look like, it doesn't matter, but I can tell that you are a beautful person, inside and out. Beauty is only on the surface, but ugly goes bone deep. Please keep your fantastic attitude and never let them bring you down. You rock girl!

Jennifer

7/17/2012 09:19:31 pm

Hi! i think you are awesome and he is an ass.. anyway, why would people comment on what you look like? what the hell difference does that make??? and besides, i sure didnt see a picture of you anywhere ... ? id love to see it, cause im sure they are just idiots who think their opinions matter, even a little.. and you are absolutely fantastic!

Nestle Dunn

7/17/2012 09:19:45 pm

On the Feng Shui side of things as I was looking at your bedroom picture, you put the bed on the wall. The person who sleeps on the side of the wall will feel trapped. In your next home if you are looking for another relationship, do not put the bed on the wall as it will make one person feel trapped. Good luck on your journey. You are a wonderful soul. Take care of those kids. Happy trails!

Drea

7/17/2012 09:23:40 pm

I wish you good luck with selling your home, its very nice and I can tell you have a lot of pride in it. We have all been there honey at one time or another. You have a GREAT attitude and I hope you will find many blessings in the futurel Just don't take him back down the road when either he gets tired of raising his new 'kid' or she decided he is too 'old' and tired for her! It's going to happen. That shiney new penny is going to tarnish! Best of luck!

Donna

7/17/2012 09:28:33 pm

Well, I have to say, your sign gave me the best laugh I have had in a long time. And, you really are an amazing person. You chose a terrific way to channel your pain and to connect with others who could rally behind you and help you through. I wish you every blessing going forward.....I know you and your kids are going to be just fine. Stay strong and keep smiling. :-)

Nancy

7/17/2012 09:28:34 pm

You rock! I'm sure your parents are proud of the strong woman they raised. Good luck to you and your kids and of course, God Bless.

Rebecca

7/17/2012 09:51:56 pm

You go girl! Way to not let somebody else rob you of your joy! What an inspiration you are! Loved reading your blog - I would definitely "follow" your blog if you kept writing.

Be strong, the seeds people sow into the ground always come up in time, looks like your harvest will be blessings in due time and your children will always be grateful you didn't turn into the crazy woman that a situation like this can make people become!

Jay

7/17/2012 09:56:27 pm

Sorry to hear about this "bump" in your "road of life"....but, God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
Continue to surround yourself with your family and friends - and most importantly - your kids. I went through a similar
event, but I ended up meeting the most amazing woman, and now we are married and just had a new baby together.
Your life is just beginning again. You will be able to "dance in the rain" again - trust me....just hang in there.

Oh, and btw.....I hope you make a Gazillion Dollars from this marketing campaign....Love it!!

Sandy

7/17/2012 09:57:52 pm

I'm sorry this has happened to you, for I too experienced somewhat of the same situation 12 years ago. But we are strong and although it hurts this too should pass. Surround yourself with family and friends, it helps. So El Captain left you for a 22-year old yoga instructor -- all I can say "you reap what you sow". Love your sense of humor, keep your head up, reflect on the memories of your lily garden (pictures were beautiful. Much love to you and your sweet children. I will be praying for your family.

Clare

7/17/2012 10:01:07 pm

Completely inspirational!!! Don't listen to the negativity about yourself. Those people hate themselves and want you to do the same.

Thank you for sharing it made me realize something about my own situation. Stay strong! Weak moments may come, but they will pass. Thank you again for sharing.

Dana

7/17/2012 10:03:39 pm

Just checked out your photography website...fantastic. You have great things ahead Elle Zober! By the way...I'm 50 and recently divorced after a 27 year marriage and a two year separation. It does indeed get better. My best to you.

lee

7/17/2012 10:11:28 pm

When one door closes another opens.
But often we look so long so regretfully
upon the closed door that we fail to see
the one that has opened for us.

I wish you the best. You have a great sense of humor!

7/17/2012 10:17:41 pm

Excellent, Elle, excellent.

Liz

7/17/2012 10:17:43 pm

Kind of wonder why you say you're "sure you'll like him again"? There must be a lot more to this story. The people at auschwitz didn't elect to leave their families on purpose. That's kind of a low-water mark for a person.

Melissa

7/17/2012 10:20:06 pm

I just read about your situation on Yahoo, and couldn't help but take the time to check out your site. As crappy as the cause of all this is, your outlook and perspective is amazing. I commend you on being angry (because you deserve to be), and upbeat (because if you don't laugh, you cry. Right?). With all that said, what I want to know is, who do the proceeds of the magnet sales go to? I would like to purchase one, but I wanted to check if the profits would be split with your ex. None of my business, I know...but can you blame me for asking? I've been the scorned woman, too...And so, if you do feel like sharing, just let me know, and I'll gladly fork over my $5. If not, no worries...I wish you all the luck, joy, and love in the world!

Joe R

7/17/2012 10:21:01 pm

Saw your ad on Yahoo, so I guess your story has really gone viral, if thats not a overused term yet.
First, wanted to say that looking at the pics etc, you are a beautiful and talented woman. Looks like you built a nice life for your family, and someday (if he does not see it yet) your husband will realize what he threw away.
But what you did at the house, making it a home, would be even more impressive, and whomever gets this home will be very lucky too.
Anyway, this might sound goofy, but I think you are actually getting the better part of the deal now, as you're obviously strong and smart enough to keep moving ahead, and if you accomplished this much with a boat anchor around your ankle, can't wait to see what you can do with your newfound freedom!
But hopefully your next partner will recognize the treasure he will be getting and treat you with the respect you so clearly deserve.
Good luck moving forward!

dot

7/17/2012 10:21:58 pm

i think ur awsome all woman should be like u when it comes to times like this in thier own lifes. i know of to many woman that have dung theres heels into thier man and the only out come of it was the kids hate thier mothers now because of it . best of luck to u and the kids and yes even the ex (LOL) hope u all find ur happy place again

Lorie Dorie

7/17/2012 10:22:25 pm

GOOD LUCK ELLE!!!!!!! YOU ROCK!

Jill

7/17/2012 10:24:46 pm

I'm very sorry for what happened. Men can be such jerks. My own father cheated on my mother once. He cancelled the credit cards on the advice of a lawyer and disapeared for several days. It turns out, he couldn't handle my mother yelling at him all the time. He did come back & they worked it out but, when a father does something like that, it can have lasting effects, even if the kids seem ok about it, they may not be. (I didn't read your blog yet so, i don't know the specifics) Based on that, here is some advice: I hope you can take your kids to a therapist and make sure you don't tell your kids what a horrible man your ex was. It's never a good idea to do that as, it can color their view of relationships. As an adult, both me & and my sister have problems now relating to men. I still have trouble trusting men & have a great difficuly expressing anger with them. You also need to make it clear to your kids that not all men cheat and many times, relationships do work out.

Lisa

7/17/2012 10:27:51 pm

Wow. This is probably the *most* embarrassed I have ever *been* for another human *being*. I *feel* so sorry for you. I hope that someday you can *recover* your *dignity*.

chad yar

7/17/2012 10:31:02 pm

Its bad to read the story but good to see ur style.

Ilz

7/17/2012 10:31:57 pm

Well done to you, you have made the best of a pretty bad situation! Keep your head high, your kids will need it always. And as for the ex - painful as it may feel at times, you'll soon get over it (I promise)and she will forever sit with the worry that 1) he is going to do the same to her as he did to you, and 2) Karma's gonna bite her on the ass.

You, in the meantime, will keep growing stronger and be joyful. Plus you have created a story you can tell for years. :-) Well done, really.

Beney

7/17/2012 10:35:56 pm

Well, on the bright side, at least he only cheated and abandoned you. Imagine calling your spouse for a ride to the hospital because you lost the use of a leg only to be told the spouse was "too busy" to take you to get help. That's what happened to me. That was her way of telling me the marriage was over.

Love

7/17/2012 10:36:49 pm

Ms. Elle....please dont take the salutation the wrong way but I'm from the South so everyone is a Ms! I am a 35 year old woman who at 26 went thru the same things as you. Let me tell you my story is almost identical to yours, but the difference is we did have assets......MY assets that he used to fund his secret "life", and purchase her a car and the like. He filed for divorce from me, and 10 days after it was final he married her. I tell you this is the WORST pain someone can go thru, especially with a preschooler and grade school age child. Thank goodness I had the BEST support system in my family (which it sounds like you do as well). I can tell you it will get better! It took me 2 years after the fact to say that, but I can tell ya it does! Let the haters motivate you, to do things you never thought you could do...y anger and semi-depression I began working out and you know what??? In a years time I ditched my size 24 Lane Bryant Capris for my new sexy size 8 dress size (which I am still today)! And his previous younger, more shapely bitch of a homewrecking wife balloned to a 26! Lol! So you see karma really is a MF!!! Keep doing ya thing chica.....you will be fine!

cynt,

7/17/2012 10:41:09 pm

Thanks you so much you are a brave soul...my husband walk away also with someone young and never looked back after I had a stroke at 40, but seven years later he returned with a lawyer filed for divorce: went for the house, the kids and wanted me to pay him child support. His Lawyer--helped him and he worked on the people at my job to get me fired around the same time. I must say thing have come a long way. I wish I would have sold the house and walked away...I have great faith in you girl hang in there and know women everywhere admire you ability to handle this storm...22 or not.

Dawn

7/17/2012 10:45:39 pm

Wow, are the only words I can express!!! I can feel your pain as I have been through the exact same thing you are going through right now. Mine happened 9 years ago and I have to say that it will get better. I have met the man of my dreams (my second husband) who treats me like a Queen (literally). Keep your chin up as you have been and you will be just fine. I think what you are doing is awesome and I pray that you sell your house and move forward with your life. In the end, the 22 year old will discover that your previous husband is OLD and will move on to someone more her age. And then you will have the biggest and last laugh of all. I know I did.

Your website and descriptions of your home is exactly what a realtor would have said, being that I am one. Maybe you should look into being a realtor in your area since you have an eye for details.

Good luck and I will keep your web blog to see how you are doing. Prayers coming to you from Lafayette, LA.

Lillian

7/17/2012 10:47:10 pm

You certainly are a busy and extremely talented person - your photography and cards are gorgeous and your copy is so funny and charming - your personality comes across in everything you do (and to that end, I wish we could go grab a drink and laugh but alas I am on the Right coast). Best of luck to you - my grandma always said things happen for a reason and you yourself said grandmas are always right :)

Kat

7/17/2012 10:51:44 pm

Elle, thanks for sharing. I too have my own "El Capitan" history and know how painful it can be to go through. Yet years after I can truly say my children and I are so much better off than staying in what I now know was a very toxic environment. Your loving children, creativity and strength will get you through and good luck with the house sale!

Mel

7/17/2012 10:52:59 pm

You are amazing, graceful, strong, and beautiful. You are a wonderful mom and a gifted soul. That belongs to you and only you. You know what counts, you know who matters, you know what you want... ignore what does not. Good Luck and all the best to you and your kids.

You are inspiring...Mel :)

Ava

7/17/2012 10:54:26 pm

Elle, simply put, you are amazing, creative, resourceful and oh so funny! Well done.

cheryl s

7/17/2012 10:56:28 pm

I think everyone is missing the point. The point is you have to humor yourself to get through things sometimes. Just go live life. Your ex will have to explain this to your kids some day. AND he should stop and think....they go out the way they come!

Aseret

7/17/2012 10:57:02 pm

Good for you! It's really nice to see such a good attitude in such a horrible situation! I was just in the middle of a very nasty divorce of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for over a year. They put me there as they did their 4 kids. They still can't get along and yes, cheating was a factor. I've managed to forgive them for that but I can't forgive the spite and nastiness that they continue to spew at each other. It breaks my heart what those kids witness. I'm a big believer in Karma. I've had to be. The best revenge is the one where you have nothing to do with it so you have no reason to feel guilty! Believe me, it will come back around. Keep your head up and do what's best for you and your kids. Anyone that wants to criticize you isn't walking in your shoes. I really wish I could buy your house. I currently live in Florida and would trade just about anything to get as far as possible from BIL and ex-SIL and their hatefulness. I've been to Portland multiple times and love it out there! You're going to sell it! Best wishes and keep smiling. It does get better!

Jennifer

7/17/2012 10:57:07 pm

I want to commend you on your strength. The same thing happened to me almost 6 years ago. Mine left us (me, at the time a 3 yr old, and a newborn) for a younger (also married and with a child) person, as she left her husband and child. At the time my world ended and I had no idea what I was going to do.....but today I am remarried, have added a new child to the family, a college graduate, and so blessed to have my beautiful daughters. Life does go on, and when we think these ordeals define us, it so happens to be the best thing that has ever happened in our lives (well, not compared to mommy-hood but Im sure you know what I mean). I am so thankful to not be in that horrible marriage anymore, my life got so much better when I was no longer married to him. Best of wishes to you, and your children!!!

Mary

7/17/2012 11:02:18 pm

My 46-year-old brother married a 20-year-old child. I'm not sure what they had in common; she was about the same age as his daughter so maybe? A few years later, after he lost his business, they were divorced, one child. He didn't look so good as the employee; she loved the employer! Older guys who believe that these little girls really love them are fooling themselves. The little girls love the daddy figure, the money, the idea that they can attract an older man, etc. They love the DRAMA! But in a year or two, maybe less, how many of those relationships work out? When she is 35, in her prime, where is he going to be? On a purple pill to keep her happy, if they even last. Maybe he can only relate to someone that age and is afraid of a mature woman. She's going to be history soon enough, one way or another I would imagine. You have your integrity, your children who will respect you, a career, and he has the potential for another disaster in his life. Really, I think you got the better end of this deal because look what she got--a cheater who won't hesitate to step out again if she does not fulfill his every imaginable fantasy! G'luck to you and yours!

Beth

7/17/2012 11:03:13 pm

It's amazing how many of us can relate. My husband left after 20 years-although the woman was at least our age. He had struggled with turning 40. He had been involved with her for about 6 weeks and ended what had been a pretty good 20 year marriage. After we were divorced about 6 months, he came over and told me he thought he made a mistake. Of course, this came as I was about to leave on a cruise with someone I was seeing (who is now my fiance). Part of the cruise fell on our wedding anniversary. His brother was kind enough to share with me how my ex had a melt down on that day. Still, the idiot married her 3 weeks later..guess some people just can't be alone. My older kids still refuse to meet her. My young daughter doesn't like her. Seems they had already introduced her while they were having an affair.She was only 7. My kids have a great relationship with my fiance. I lost my house. He bought one for us to live in 4 blocks away so my daughter could stay in her school. He is every bit the man my ex isn't. Life moves on and when you embrace that, it just might take you to places you never even dreamed of.

Misty

7/17/2012 11:03:32 pm

I think you've found a new outlet - blogging!

The pain of cheating dulls over time, but it will always be a in the back of your mind in future relationships. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Try to channel it to positive. I think you're on the right track.

Hang in there!

Jessica

7/17/2012 11:06:43 pm

Very proud of you and the way you have handles this. Enjoyed reading your thoughts and I too home schooled my children and enjoyed every minute I could with them. I am divorced ( happily) and wish you the very best of luck in the selling of your home. It is beautiful!. Sounds like you and your ex hold your children above all else. Pat yourself on the back!

Stephanie

7/17/2012 11:08:29 pm

Wish I had had this plan when my ex-fiance cheated on and left me for a woman 6years our senior. Elle, you're a genius!

Tabatha

7/17/2012 11:13:04 pm

I don't know how things work there but in Tennessee if your husband leaves you for a 22 year old you get to keep the house and he gets to make the payments for you... Good luck in life... after my divorce I kept the house for a while then sold it and kept the money too... lol then I moved on and got out there and done things I though I would never get to do. I hope all works out for you and the kids : ) It's a new begining and sooner or later you might start thinking she did you a favor : )

KYD

7/17/2012 11:13:52 pm

Elle,

Thank you for your strength to all women!!!
I too had a cheating husband with my best friend! Ouch!!!

THE GOOD NEWS...I finally love where I'm at...you never forget but you can forgive to help move on to a life of happiness!!!

GOOD LUCK you are the BEST. Love from Salt Lake City, UT

Deb

7/17/2012 11:15:37 pm

Elle, you rock! You are doing just fine. Keep your chin up and keep smiling for both you and the children. I'm rooting for you. (PS: here's a hug)

Amy

7/17/2012 11:15:40 pm

Elle - You inspire me! Your first blog post was fantastic. Continue to be strong! -Amy in Buffalo, NY

Jennifer Walker

7/17/2012 11:16:02 pm

I just wanted to say that I LOVE WHAT you did all of it! Cheating is a terrible thingm but to have the strength you have to be amicable about it and do it all yourselves, AMAZING! I am not sure I could be that nice!

Jill

7/17/2012 11:16:04 pm

I loved the entire website!!! Elle, you are so creative and truly inspiring . . .keeping blogging you have a talent that can touch the lives of so many!

Rob

7/17/2012 11:16:30 pm

Smiles are contagious, keep smiling Elle, and the world will right along with you. Also, it is not the size of the Lane Bryant Capris that one should be judged, it is the heart of the person wearing them, you have a big heart and seem like a great mommy. They grey in the skys always seems to part way for the brightness of the sunshine.

joann p. NY

7/17/2012 11:18:29 pm

Your blog is great! So sorry that you went through that...it's awful. I wish you and your children the best of luck in the future. Keep your chin up and continue to put one foot in front of the other. You will succeed because you're strong! God bless you and your children <3

David in Texas

7/17/2012 11:18:56 pm

The one thing I remember the most from my college classes was a quote from one of my profs in an elective class (courtship and marriage). He said, "The one who cares the least in a relationship is the one who controls the relationship." This is so true!! For dating and marriages to work, both individuals have to work together as a team and both have to allow for give and take. Without teamwork, it's a recipe for failure. Keep your head up and a smile on your face. Good luck on the sale of your home.

jeanne

7/17/2012 11:20:08 pm

You go girl! I have been there sadly myself and holding on to my dignity was the best thing I could have done for myself and the kids, now grown. 32 years later, new husband and new life for 30 years, I have 15 beautiful grand children and still had the last laugh. You are right life is good inspite of the low points.
I love what you have done and laughing is the best medicine in the whole world.
The house is beautiful and I would buy it in a minute if I were not living in Pennsylvania. Blessings to you. Can not wait to see how it all ends.

Mari

7/17/2012 11:20:51 pm

LOL! i think your hilarious and doing a great job despite what your going through. Keep your head up, focus on your children, and you will be fine. :)

Laura link

7/17/2012 11:21:58 pm

Just wanted to suggest that you pry down and keep that trim where you've marked off your kids' heights. You can replace that wood and throw up some white paint really easily. :) Good luck

Joe R

7/18/2012 04:51:14 am

Wow! What a great suggestion. I'm a DIY'er and am kicking myself (figuratively) for not thinking of that when I left my earlier post for Ele.

Rhonda

7/17/2012 11:22:28 pm

You go girl! Love your blog, your marketing approach, your outlook on life. Your commit about the rocket going a** up and t*ts down made me LOL at work! Keep blogging, keep telling it like it is and maybe you will get enough readers/sponsors, buyers of magnets, etc. so you can keep the totally wonderful house that you obviously love. Best of luck to you and your wonderful family. :)

Tammy

7/17/2012 11:22:33 pm

Elle, You sound like an amazing, strong and wonderful woman. Your children are lucky to have you and will be fine. Since I am in a similar boat, only mine seems to have a hole in it, I get it. My husband seems to do much better with online relationships then with real ones and our marriage went down to toilet since I obviously couldn't measure up to online perfect, don't ya know. I am also trying hard not to be bitter since I was VERY independent before marriage with my own home and money. But after a serious health issue and the loss of my job, I must depend on him for just about everything and it a horrible, degrading feeling. I am slowly finding myself again, along with new health insurance, and every day is a tiny bit better. I do wish you the best of luck, but it really doesn't sound like you will need it. You are a lovely person and stronger than any 22yo will ever be.

Shannon

7/17/2012 11:24:15 pm

Elle, best of luck to you. My husband also cheated after 10 years of marriage, no kids, no debt but I wore the Lane Bryant pants too. His mistress looked just like me when I was 22 and met him. He married her and just a few scant years later, she looks like she swallowed a piano according to my sister. And I am at the gym 4 times/week, happy, healthy and LOVING LIFE AFTER DIVORCE. I had a great husband, nice, gorgeous, kind, but a cheater none the less. Life after divorce can be wonderful. Make sure you take the time to guarantee that for yourself. Go get 'em girl!

Sheila

7/17/2012 11:24:54 pm

Elle ,
I have too been through this same scenario.While it's always upsetting to hear someone eles has to be put through this I have to say your blog has put a smile on my face. I would love to hear your mothers version of the sign! lol The bit about the storage unit I found especially funny because it mirrored a bit of my separation. I was also way too thoughtful of a man that didnt give much thought of me or his children. I guess it's normal ,we go through these stages. Anyhow I wish you and your little people the best darlin and just know it does get easier.

Sympathetic

7/17/2012 11:25:16 pm

Not a lot I wanted to say that hasn't been said judging by skimming over the comments haha. Just think it is good for you to have some humor and not be one of those crazy wives that slashes tires or keys his car.

The "newness" of 22 year old he cheated with wear off, he'll realize shes not as interesting, her little quirks will start to get annoying, and when you start refusing to let the kids be there when she might be around then he'll start to see that she isnt worth missing out on his kids lives and realize that the whole thing wasnt worth it but its too late.

She will realize he isnt as fun as she thought, he will have to turn her down for other responsibilities since he is an adult, he'll want to stay in after being tired from work and she'll want to go out and party, she will find a younger guy, your ex will get cheated on, he will get a sense of what you felt but only 1/100th of the pain that you had to go through, they will be over, and that will be the end of that.

You and your children will move on and start a new life together. You will let them know that you did love their dad but it didnt work out and that it was in no way their fault or yours. Hopefully they will not love their father any less, after all he is their father, but they will know that he made a mistake but he still loves them no matter what happens.

This is one of the best ways to deal with something like this on your part, you cant very well act like nothing ever happened but you can also react with class. Some people might argue that you clearly didnt act with class but I think you did. And all the more power to you for getting it to work for you and help sell your house haha. I hope you do get someone and that you find the perfect little new nook for you and your kids, Im sure they will enjoy being able to pick out their rooms and decorate now that they are older, and you can enjoy having your own house where you dont have to ask anyone if they like this wall paper or that carpet, because screw anyone else its your house!

michael

7/17/2012 11:28:37 pm

Guys and girls can cheat/sleep with whoever at any time for any reason. Men and Women connect for life with all its pain, heartache, love and forgiveness. The life shared is so much the richer that side trips are not even considered. Size and shape aren't even a consideration. Stick to your ideals. There IS a man out there who is willing to share them.

Renee

7/17/2012 11:30:41 pm

Congratulations! You just changed your life! When your spouse cheats it because he does not have enough control in his own life to make the right decision. I have been down this road and we somehow made it through. However I wait for the next time and there will be no marriage counseling, just an appointment with the attorney. The grass is always greener on the other side? Wait till he stops watering that side as well. Good luck in your life and don't change who you are.

Belinda

7/17/2012 11:31:32 pm

Good for you Elle. I think your doing an awesome thing for yourself by getting it off of your chest. I have been married to my husband for 19 years and 3 years ago, he cheated on me. We have 2 teenagers who are very busy. So I was working, chasing them around, trying my best to be a good Mom, wife, step-mom, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, friend, ext...... My husband felt I was not giving him enough attention. He felt his role as a husband and father was to work and that was it. He never ran for the kids, never helped me with errands or any other part of raising our family. His parents, to this day, rely on me as he does not feel he should be bothered. I chose to forgive him and try to keep the family going. I can not forget no matter how hard I try. As my daughter is friends with my husbands cheatee and she works at my childrens school on occasion. She gives me dirty/nasty looks everytime I see her. I have no idea why as I have never made it known of what happened to anyone, but my best friend whom I know has never repeated what I have said to her. When I found out I called her cell # and of course she did not answer so I left her a message on what a dispicable person she would have to be to cheat on her own husband with a married man. I explained that I have been with him since his children from his first marriage were small and I took care of them when he didn't and have tried to be a grandmother to his grandchildren as well. I never received a response other than the dirty/nasty looks. She was fortunate to have a very wealthy husband and she took him to the cleaners. Getting an enormously beautiful home purchased for her and her children and currently opening a music studio. She also has some young arm candy. (In my opinion is probably because of her ex-husbands pocket book as she is nothing to look at.) So that is my story. I struggle to this day to not go back to that time in our lives. My husband swears it will NEVER happen again. We will see. Trust is still an issue. I have done everything humanly possible to make him happy. I always have and he will attest to that. I am in good shape(I may not dress as he wants as I feel stripper attire is not very appropriate for work or school functions.) and I take care of my husband in every aspect. He is just selfish. So please do not beat yourself up about your shape or size. Your ex will come to appreciate you after awhile. He will come to realize what he lost and regret it whole heartedly. I wish you all the best. Please, make yourself happy.

Avery

7/17/2012 11:31:54 pm

I think you are amazing. :)

denise

7/17/2012 11:31:58 pm

F*ck anyone who says he cheated because of your size. Men cheat on their skinny wives too!!! He cheated because he's weak and obviously unable to handle a woman of strength like you. He'll do the same to yoga baby. Stay strong and stay on the higher road!

Debbie B

7/17/2012 11:32:37 pm

You are an amazing woman! I admire your strength, courage, and especially your sense of humor. I am 32 and have yet to be married or have kids...but I have had some pretty rough break ups. I have ALWAYS used humor to get through the break ups, and it has helped me maintain a positive attitude in even the darkest of hours. Keep smiling and laughing <3 Your photographs are GORGEOUS...maybe use all this publicity, start a Facebook page, and really advertise your business. You are a very talented woman! Wishing you nothing but the best!

linda

7/17/2012 11:33:28 pm

I feel your pain!!!! I was left after 27 years and 5 children....turned out to be the best thing that could happen to me...I found the man of my dreams and learned what a truely happy marriage could be.He died 3 years ago and changed my life forever....wishing you luck and happiness in the years to come

Jessica

7/17/2012 11:35:33 pm

I admire you, Elle! I have 2 small children and just recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me, but we have decided to try and work it out. You have given me hope that if it doesn't work out that I will be okay. It has been hard, as I'm sure it is for you to wrap your head around the questions that circle constantly, but know that you are not alone and God is holding you. Thank you for your honesty and for being vulnerable.

7/17/2012 11:35:46 pm

You are a goddess. I looked at your children's rooms and was brought to tears, these little angels had their worlds ripped apart by a selfish and weak man. One day innocently playing with their toys and the next day... Well now I'm not helping. I admire your strength and courage. Please open up a gofundme.com account so we can pitch in a few bucks to help you set up your new life.

Tracy

7/17/2012 11:37:47 pm

Elle-
I love Love LOVE this! You sound like an amazing woman with a tremendously funny sense of humor. As someone who went through a similar situation (21 yr marriage, 2 beautiful children, "dream life", enter a 22 year old low-life yellow-bellied homewrecker), I can tell you I truly do understand you! I can also tell you that for as dark as things may seem today, things will get better.
Thank you for giving me a huge belly laugh today. It showed me how far I've come in my own healing. Three years ago, I would have read that sign and dissolved in a puddle of tears on the ground. Today, it was the funniest d*mn thing I have ever seen.
Best of luck to you and your children. I KNOW your life (while not how you imagined or thought it would be), is going to be better than OK! Much Love & Peace

7/17/2012 11:37:54 pm

I agree with the others. Forgive, first of all... and then thrive. Be better than he ever remembered. He'll regret it, but it will be too late. As for the 22 year old, if he cheated on you, he will cheat on her. Just the way it is. Oh, and off topic... the first thing I noticed in the home, were the images. I'm a photographer, and out of habit, take notice of photos displayed. Then, I saw the link to the website. You do great work!

Maggie Starr

7/17/2012 11:38:41 pm

Elle,
You are an inspiration to us all...turning negative into positive. Hate your hurt, but Love your outlook. Very nice home, good luck for a quick sale and best wishes as you continue on in the journey of Life. ~~Maggie

Dax

7/17/2012 11:38:48 pm

Elle, you are an inspiration! Incredibly talented and resourceful - your husband will regret losing your spirited presence in his day to day life. Your website has been the highlight of my day!

Rachel

7/17/2012 11:43:52 pm

Kudos to you! This was my life 14 years ago. I didn't realize it then, but thank God that it was. I have since remarried, and have another son w/ my current fabulous husband. I have been blessed beyond belief. Things do happen for a reason....just you wait and see.

Karin Armstrong

7/17/2012 11:43:54 pm

Elle -

I can tell by the way you word things that you are in as much pain as I was when I divorced last year over the same type of thing. Humor does help us keep going and that is what you have to do for now...gotta keeping raising the kids, right? Know that there are others out there who have experienced the very thing you are going through and although it is a VERY difficult transition, you WILL come through this to the other side. Stay strong and know that people are sending you energy that lifts you and surrounds you in peace. You have more courage than you know. Let the haters hate. Don't absorb their nonsense. You are embarking on a great learning experience. I wish you well.

Dave

7/17/2012 11:43:59 pm

Grandma is right. I am 20 years divorced re-married, love my wife love our son. 1st Wife left me to marry some other guy. She left me with three little girls to raise, met my neighbor whose husband left her with one little girl to raise. When at the bank to borrow all I could on our house to buy wife out so kids could stay in house, I sat in the parking lot asked god why me, why do this to me. God answered " As I looked at the front door of the bank a man was going in. He had no leggs. He was walking on pads. Lost his legs above the knees and was still walking." I said to god ok I get the message, losing a lying cheating spouse is nothing to cry about. Like I said met a wonderful woman, she has been my rock, after 20 years of raising our girls we had a little boy, surprise, wonderful surprise life has some you know. Good luck you will be fine. Grandma was right.

7/17/2012 11:44:23 pm

Oh how I needed to see this today! I am currently going through a separation myself. My soon to be ex started "talking" to a former school mate last year via Facebook. Then the text messages started. Approx 4,000 a month for over 6 months, and I was clueless. So my child, and the dog moved out. We are doing well. Just the normal up's and downs of my child going between two homes. I know it's tough, but you seem to have the right outlook!

Thank you for sharing your story, and thanks for bringing some humor into my day. Best wishes!

Belle

7/17/2012 11:46:47 pm

Hang in there... Cheers to a new beginning!!! Now keep posting updates and let us know how things are going!

7/17/2012 11:46:56 pm

"T" you are a nasty b*t*ch and no one ever told you to keep your legs closed to married men. He will cheat on you too, mark my words. KARMA will get you both, just wait and see. Elle - I hope you get to watch the Karma that will come to her! Keep up your attitude, you will definately come out on top and I hope it is on TOP (LOL now that is just funny!) of some wonderful man who will LOVE you!!!

7/18/2012 05:09:58 am

How do you know that "T" is a she and not a he and also that "T" is even the 22 year old? Just saying.... May not have been a nice comment, however other comments on here striking back at "T" are not any better, if anything they are worse!

Elle: Great job on your marketing tactic! Wonderful positive outlook on life!

AmyH

7/17/2012 11:48:45 pm

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

You are beautiful and strong - keep moving forward.

Yooper in Michigan

7/17/2012 11:50:27 pm

The bitterness will stay for awhile...but as the saying goes "Time heals all things". After 21 years of marriage my husband walked out with an older woman he met at work. He tried to leave without taking any responsibility financially of bills and mortgage. After a bitter divorce, I learned to move on and found that life was better without him! There is more to life with family and friends than the bastard who thought he could walk out without taking responsibility for any of the marriage. Eleven years later after believing in myself and working hard, I live on a small 5 acre farm in a beautiful house. The last I heard of him that he is living in a tiny trashy apartment without the "other" woman. You are going in the right direction and I wish you the best for the future! By the way, rent the movie "The First Wife's Club". You will appreciate it!

Nena

7/17/2012 11:52:17 pm

Hi! I found your history in msn, and when I read that you had a website, didn't hesitate to go and read your amazing history. Cheating husbands aren't new at all but your posture in life, sure it is!! I don't know you but I admire you and aplaude how you are assuming this whole situation. Live and love again...your kids have an amazing mother...and he lost a wonderful woman. Good luck with your house, and a better luck with your life. (clapping) :-)

Lori

7/17/2012 11:52:37 pm

Loved the website, your sense of humor, and strength. First and formost, I hope you sell your house quickly so you can move on with your life and create a new home for your children. Take the negative comments in stride and don't let them wear you down. You're doing a great job and I admire your strength. Take care & best wishes!

7/17/2012 11:53:58 pm

I just wanted to say kudos to you. Honestly, kudos your ex for agreeing to "air the laundry". Needless to say, i really enjoyed reading your story, I wish I could have the strength that you have or at least to that degree. Best of luck to you! Great things will come. Your ex did a wonderful job of finding such a great mother for his children!

Suzanne

7/17/2012 11:55:51 pm

Elle - you ROCK!!!! Good for you to have such an amazing attitude. When I have an "off" day - I will think of you & all that you are dealing with & yet, making the best of it! Your children are so very blessed to have you for their mom. I have no doubt that there are better days ahead for you - your attitude will truly make the difference. Good luck on the sale of your house. I know it is hard leaving it, truly I understand, our homes are our havens. Keep smiling girl, you are awesome!

Kay

7/17/2012 11:56:19 pm

You are an a great example for many women! Many dont have the power to move on after such circumstances. Yet you show it can be done! May your children and yourself continue on a wonderful journey. Best wishes....

Leslie

7/17/2012 11:57:49 pm

Hang in there Elle! I know it seems like your crawling uphill on your knees, but I promise you...God has something BETTER in store for you! Just have a little faith....I'll be praying for you and your children. El Captain will get his...Karma is a beautiful thing!! XOXO

Jenna

7/17/2012 11:58:07 pm

Good for you, Elle..I would do MUCH worse if my husband ever cheated on me, trust. I love your sense of humor, and your creative writing. Keep your chin up, not only for your kids, but for yourself as well. Good luck!!

Alison

7/17/2012 11:58:10 pm

I am sorry, but you sound like a jealous, bitter X-wife who wants attention. The house is not appealing at all and either are you. Get over it!!!!!

Allison

7/18/2012 02:28:20 am

Alison ~ Have you ever gone through something similar to Elle's situation? I bet not! I have been through everything she has gone through, plus some. Although I would never make my situation public, I definitely think she is taking this rather well! By the way, apparently making ignorant comments and "kicking someone while they are down" is always the best way to make someone feel better. I guess you never heard the saying ~ "If you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all." You need to learn how to be compassionate and act like a human being! Just sayin! :)

Joe R

7/18/2012 04:55:22 am

Wow, who crapped in your Wheaties today?
No-one said you had to take the time to read this, and you certainly had the opprotunity to not be so negative.
So what you choose to do here tells me volumes about who is bitter and who is handling the pitfalls of life better.
It isn't you by the way.

Margie

7/17/2012 11:58:50 pm

What an inspiration you are!

7/17/2012 11:58:57 pm

So sorry for your pain. Can't imagine how he could have EVER thought someone else would be better than a loving wife and two beautiful children. He will be so sorry later, if he isn't now. Gotta say, you do take lovely pictures, and it's a beautiful house. I live in CO, and my friend in OR sent me the info. My dad/sis/nephew all live in OR, and we do a road trip there every summer. I'm a lot older than you are, married 23+ years, six kids...also homeschooling. I just can't believe that some men are so delusional that they think 20 seconds of fun ;) are a fair trade for a fabulous family....Praying for you all. God bless.

Mark

7/17/2012 11:59:40 pm

Darlin... The best way to get revenge when a man cheats is by letting the woman he cheated on you with KEEP HIM!!
You sound like you are already doing great without him and as the days, months, years pass by... you'll be doing even better. Congrats on starting a new chapter in your life that will be full of happiness.

Irene

7/18/2012 12:02:29 am

I bought your magnet, and I hope 50000 other people do too, enabling you to buy a beautiful new home for your family.

Stay strong! *hugs*

Stacey

7/18/2012 12:05:11 am

I love this idea. It is very clever and great way to put a spin on a painful situation. I have been there with my husband (at the time) cheating on me also and even made a baby with someone else. Shocker! I've also lost three children during pregnancy, one at just a few weeks, one at 11 weeks, and one at 16 weeks. It's very hard but makes us stronger people and so true that it's always worse somewhere else. I absolutely love the lily garden as they are my favorite flower and such a wonderful way to memorialize your baby. My ex husband and I are now very good friends and have been able to put all the past behind us. I love your house and would definitely come look at it if I lived there. I wish you the best of luck with everything and thank you for making me smile today!

Jan

7/18/2012 12:06:20 am

Just wanted to say if he/she will cheat WITH you, then he/she will cheat ON you. Seen it happen more than once. Doesn't matter what you look like, what you do. It is a character flaw of the person doing the cheating. Plain and simple.

Amber

7/18/2012 12:07:22 am

You're the best kind of woman, and your kids hit the lottery in getting you for a mom. In holding on to your warmth, perspective and sense of humour you gurantee that ... in the end... you'll get what El Capitain's choice shows he was not - your true love, your lobster* ("Friends" reference). This is quick and disjointed but, as is the case in uber-connected world, your story and the way you shared it touched me and I wanted to reach out.

Good luck with sale, and with going forward for your newly reconstructed family which, oddly enough, will now includes not only You, the Kids and El Capitan... but also Ms Yoga.

Mari

7/18/2012 12:09:20 am

you do not "suck" at being a wife.He sucks at being a husband and his "new girlfriend" will soon find out for herself. You have a beautiful home and you put your children 1st. You are awesome!When my s/o cheated on me with a younger woman, I sad to say, was not so classy. I wish I lived in Oregon so I could buy your house.

KyleneJoy

7/18/2012 12:10:44 am

Dear Elle,
My divorce (due to my husbands cheating) was the best thing that could have happenned to my then-marriage. I have become a much strong, happier, productive person. My life now, is better than my best dreams then.

Ignore negative comments you may receive. One thing I found is that people who are married, or have never been married do not understand divorce and are extremely judgemental about something they simply don't know about. It's between you and God, and from everything you have said, frankly I think you are handling it in the most positive way posible.

Keep smiling, and your children will smile. KUDOS to you Elle, the happiest parts of your life are still to come!

Mary Lorene

7/18/2012 12:10:51 am

Very creative! Enjoy your "freedom" with your children. Keep on being strong:).

Kristin

7/18/2012 12:13:01 am

Wow. I'll just add my voice to all the others and say I admire your resolve, humour, moxie and strength. I'm sure there are times when you don't feel you always have them, but perhaps you're just lending them out for a bit. I know after reading through everything, you've given me a bit to work with. Thank you.

LeAnn

7/18/2012 12:13:24 am

Elle I just wanted to say, you sound like you have an awesome personality and I luv what uv done! I also wanted to say that I absolutely love ur house and if this was about 6 mos later Id def buy it from you, however, its too soon and were not planning n e thang til nxt year. Darn for me, but I wish you and those cute babies all the luck in the world. Me and my two boys have gone thru it as well and it does all work its way out, i promise. Keep being amazing and youll go far.

Gud luck!

LeAnn Hyatt
Lincoln, Ne

Megan

7/18/2012 12:13:48 am

I absoultely love that you are able to find humor in such a horrible event in your life, and I think we all would be a little bit bitter if put in your shoes! I know I have told my husband now and even when we were dating if he ever cheated on me I would go Carrie Underwood style on his beloved truck, and maybe a little bit more, so I love that you have used that bitterness and turned it into something creative and humorous! Such a cute house also! Hopefully you are able to sell the house quickly and move on to the next chapter in you and your childrens lives and start fresh!

Cassandra

7/18/2012 12:14:51 am

I can tell the love you have for your ex with all the nice things you have actually done for him. He is going to wake up some day and realize he lost the best thing he ever had. That 22 year old is going to wake up some day and realize she wants some one closer to her age to go party with and your ex is going to be gone!! That's what he deserves. Your a strong women and I hope that he reads all of these comments and realizes that you are a lot better than he is and he will never find anyone to love him like you did.

katherine

7/18/2012 12:14:54 am

I didn't read all the comments, but it seems that the people who really "get" this are those who have been there. I am so sorry you ave had to deal with the results of your ex's bad choices. Hoping for a quick home sale and continued best wishes!

Darla W

7/18/2012 12:15:23 am

I think this is a great story.......hope someone makes a movie out of then you won't have to sell your home. I hope also that HGTV comes in and helps you sell it if that is what you want.
They give you make overs to sell it faster LOL!!
Take care and God Bless!!!

Mandy

7/18/2012 12:17:15 am

I just listened to you on Dwyer & Michaels here in IA. I think you are fantastic! You have a wonderful outlook and you are so strong. I think that this is just fate's way of telling you even better things are in store for you.:) Best of luck to you and your family.

PS: Your house is beautiful!

Ginger

7/18/2012 12:20:55 am

I think what you are doing is wonderful. Love that you are handling everything with humor. Love the listing of your house where you said your son would be going with you! Keep a smile on your face and let all of the negative comments roll off! Best wishes!

Chris

7/18/2012 12:21:16 am

Elle,

You have shown an amazing strength within you! Congratulations on allowing yourself to grieve, work through the pain and pull the strength from deep within to enjoy your life again! Your character, love your children, willingness to recognize both your ex's good and not so good side shows that this anger and bitterness you have been feeling will definitely ease as you continue on your path forward with hope in your future, joy in the moments with your children and love and respect for yourself! I am a life coach and you, my friend, have done a fabulous job coaching yourself through this toward a better life for you and your children! Remember, the best revenge is to live an amazing life! I wish you nothing but happiness, joy and success in the future. Thank you for being an inspiration by sharing your story!

7/18/2012 12:22:50 am

Rock on Mama, and never forget what a fierce and creative survivor you are. My only wish is that you and your kids could have stayed in your home. It galls me that your husbands choice uproots everyone. Where's the justice? I wish you and the kids all the best!
CH in Brooklyn, NY

7/18/2012 12:23:50 am

Elle,
Your attitude will find you a much better life than what you had for you & your kids! You have an amazing strength and great outlook! Your ex is an idiot, truly some men are never satisfied no matter what, and that's their malfunction, not the woman's fault. He is going to be the one going through very sad, painful days himself when the 22 yr old gets sick of him and he has to start over alone! maybe then it will dawn on him what he truly lost in a great wife he had...thats karma for you....and for you, well good luck hon, but I dont think you need much luck with your strength, I see you having a much better life ahead :)

Cheryl

7/18/2012 12:24:18 am

Call it karma or whatever you want but, "We reap what we sow." You're sowing joy, your husband has sown something else. I'd say you're in a much better position. Grace and peace to you!

By the way, I hope you sell 40,000 magnets, and more. ;-)

Gabe

7/18/2012 12:25:16 am

Good for you. That takes some Cahones to do. Good for you.

Whitney

7/18/2012 12:27:36 am

I am so impressed by your upbeat spirit. You are someone for other women in this situtation to look up to and find strength in knowing that you can move on and build a new life. Your comment about trying to get ahead and working so hard made you grow apart really hit home for me. I feel like my husband and I are going through the same motions right now. Your words have really made me stop and think what is important and what road we may be headed down. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you and your kids the best of luck!

Tracy

7/18/2012 12:27:55 am

Hi Elle,
I read your story on Fox12 last Friday evening and heard your interview on the radio this morning. You have an amazing attitude which will pull you and the kids through this. I hope that the right buyer comes along for the house and that you can move along to the next step in your life journey. You will make it, hang in there and be strong! PS, I love the Fiesta pitchers on the counter in your kitchen. I collect Fiesta as well.

Holly

7/18/2012 12:27:56 am

You rock Elle! Good Luck with each step you take for you and your children! Your an inspiration! :o)

Cathy link

7/18/2012 12:28:59 am

Elle, I give it up to you! You seem to be dealing with your situation very well. If you can profit from it, I say YOU GO GIRL!!! YOu deserve to be happy and so do your kids. I love the website! if I lived in Oregon, I'd buy it!

Darcy

7/18/2012 12:30:57 am

Your attitude and optimism has made my day. My story is very similar to yours however he left us (4 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter) for our maid after 11 years of marriage. Ooooohhh, like a tornado how quickly your perfect world changes. It is one year later and I could not be happier! Keep up your great attitude and wonderful spirit...your kids are very lucky to have you as their mother.

Jessica

7/18/2012 12:31:25 am

I know I am proably repeating about 100 % of everyone else but I think you are pretty special and a 100% better person than I would be. I am a forgiving person but not on this type of thing. 5 minutes before me and my husdand (of 13 years) got married I told him if he ever hit me in anger he best not go to sleep and if he ever cheated not to darken my door and I would not have been as nice as you.

Jade in Canada

7/18/2012 12:31:43 am

Hi Elle,
I am amazed i have come across your story. If i was a US citizen i would buy your house. I bet by the end of the year your husband will realize what a mistake he has made, but things like this make us stronger so really you have all to gain and he has all to loose.
Reading your blog has been fun and i love your other ventures
god bless you and the kids
love from Canada

Cris

7/18/2012 12:33:34 am

Hey Elle-
I think you're amazing. While I've never been through what you're going through, I think you're attitude and witt should be awarded the highest medal out there. Stay happy- stay funny. Life is SO much better that way. You're my hero!

Allyson

7/18/2012 12:33:43 am

You are brilliant!!! A marketing genius!! If I ever need some rad cards I will look you up. Good luck and God bless!!!!

Diana

7/18/2012 12:35:20 am

I give you props. Well done in my opinion. I did want to add to the people that have wrote a few childish comments about size, I'm small, I'm fit, I've had 4 kids and look great, but it didn't stop my ex husband from cheating on me. I cleaned, I cooked, I helped pay the bills. Still didn't stop him a few times in fact. And karma does come back around. Because after he over drew my bank account several hundred dollars spending money on another, and got my car repoed because there was now no money to pay the bill. I found it so funny that he married her, she got tired of him after a year left him, drained his bank account 2 paychecks in a row and his beloved truck got repoed. Sounds pretty familiar. But out of all of the pain and thoughts of revenge, I found the most peace in my children. Them making me laugh just uplifted me so much and made me know I would be just fine. And knowing that brought me to peace with myself and what happened. It may have taken a year or more, but I found me again and the me I needed to be for my children. Good luck to you and your life and taking the leap for change to a better life for you and your kids.

Nichole

7/18/2012 12:36:09 am

Hi Elle - Kudos to you! I just happened upon your website because it may Yahoo! News but it was very inspirational to me. I'm not a divorcee, hell, not even married (living with my future husband) but it's nice to see a woman take control of her life and not view it as the end of her life because a man has decided to leave. After reviewing your website, I think you have the perfect attitude to move forward and continue to enjoy life as you once knew it. God puts situations into our life to help us with other situations so who knows maybe one day you two will be happily married again and can look back on this moment as a lesson experienced, learned and gained! Your kids will be better for it because you haven't put them through a nasty divorce, follow by a nasty custody battle. Kudos to you for being adults and handling your situation as mature adults and allowing your children to not suffer. Thanks for being an inspiration! Good luck with the sale of your house. If I lived in Oregon (I'm from New Jersey) I would definitely entertain the thought of purchasing!

spots317

7/18/2012 12:37:32 am

You are an amazing, BRILLIANT woman, and El Capitan lost out in a HUGE way in what he's done to you and your children! I hope Karma bites both of them, Miss 22-year-old-Yoga-lover-homewrecker and ElCapitan, in the behinds! In the years to come, he will realize that he is NOT an example for his children to follow, and yet I'm sure he'll be telling them how "wrong it is to cheat". SCUM-BAG!

CAnne

7/18/2012 12:38:01 am

Elle, You freaking ROCK! You're witty, brave and strong! He lost what sounds like a fantastic woman! Don't let it get you down for long, You'll find an "El Capitan" who will treat you like you deserve - forever. <3

7/18/2012 12:38:23 am

You lost a loser and she gained the type of man that abandons his wife and kids for his own selfish reasons. She'll have to spend however long looking over her shoulder wondering if he'll do the same to her when she's over 30. I understand your heart may not understand but in my mind, you're the winner here

Sarah

7/18/2012 12:38:39 am

You go girl!!

Jodi

7/18/2012 12:39:45 am

Elle,

I just wanted to tell you that I wish, when my husband left me, I was as strong as you. My husband cheated too. He went to his high school reunion and striked up a conversation with the "popular" girl. She ended up telling him that she had a crush on him in high school and that night he slept with her. A week later, he left me, took our dog and moved in with her and her 5 year old daughter. That was in 2010 and it still hurts today.

I suffer from MS and I too gained weight when the meds they put me on messed up my thyroid. He used to tell me that he was ashamed of me, that I wasn't thin like the other wives in our group. I took years of these comments, so when he left, I was a shell of a person, not knowing who I was or what I liked. I too have risen after intensive outpatient therapy and I'm continuing to grow with the help of my loving friends and family. Living with a selfish, dysfuctional man (shall I say narcacistic) can destroy a person. I now look back on my former self and think "I will never allow that to happen to me again. I am a beautiful woman, who loves with all of her heart and cares about living things from the deepest depths of her soul."

Our husbands gave up the best things they will ever have in their lives. Karma sucks and I know it will be returned to him and his mistress. It will only take a little while. After all, he may have left me, but he took himself along on his journey (once a cheater, always a cheater).

Thank you for being so honest and for sharing your story. Your children have a great mother and role model. Good luck on the sale of your lovely house.

Liz

7/18/2012 12:40:22 am

And here you thought you were only going to have "one or two readers"! I too have been there done that. I have felt that same pain you felt because of a cheating husband. My story, however, does not include 2 kids. (3 dogs, does that count?) Either way, I really commend you for your sense of humor in all of this. It took me a while to see the light at the end of the tunnel because it was so hard for me to break the bond I had with my husband. Apparently, that bond was one sided. My husband was a repetitive cheater. But like most women, I thought I could "change him. NOT! So I stuck around for 7 years until I finally just released him. He did repent but it was too late. I was finally free of the disrespect and loneliness I felt throughout my marriage. I am currently dating a wonderful man who has never disrespected me and holds me on a pedestal. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. I no longer have to look after a child. (yes my ex, remember, I don't have kids) And well my ex, I guess you could say Karma reached him. It's not going too well for him. I guess the grass was not greener on the other side as he thought it was. Elle, I want to wish you the best of luck on everything! Your children will be so proud of you when they are old enough to know what happened. You have no idea what your blog has actually done for us scorned and betrayed (I'm no longer bitter) women out here who have felt your pain. Stay strong and keep doing what you're doing and especially keep that smile on your face! Much love! Liz

Grace

7/18/2012 12:41:36 am

I love you, I think you're awesome and El Captain is the real loser here. I could go on about cheating spouses but no need to spend precious energy on negativity. Keep your gracefullness and positive attitude, you are a beautiful extraordinary woman and many good things will come your and kids way.

Stephanie

7/18/2012 12:45:28 am

I was moved to tears by your story, you are wonderful, and amazing!!! Best wishes on selling your home and moving forward!!!

Liz

7/18/2012 12:45:50 am

Oh yeah. One more thing. As far as that 22 year old is concerned. Well she will get what is coming to her. You can't escape Karma. And as for your ex husband, well he will soon find out what it's like to be with or try to make a life with a younger child I mean woman. Well whatever she is. One day he will get tired of having to watch Nickelodeon while he's trying to watch the History channel. HAHAHA!

Kelley

7/18/2012 12:47:00 am

I've really enjoyed reading your blog and looking at the pictures of your beautiful home...that I'm sure will sell quickly (if it hasn't already)! I think you have a right to be scorned and bitter, but I love your attitude that you need to move forward. This man helped create two beautiful children with you and they need to be your focus now...and of course yourself! You need to focus on YOU through all of this, too! Best of luck to you and happy future!

Kiki

7/18/2012 12:47:59 am

Elle,
This website is GENIUS. Saw this on Yahoo. I love the house and all of the improvements you made...best of luck selling to the right person who will love and care for it like you have.

I've often wondered about people who cheat...considering how they acquired their significant other, do they ever TRULY trust the other, EVER? Dont they wonder if it would happen again? I think I would.

You sound like a wonderful person with a beautiful soul. God will richly bless you in the future...and I too think your ex has done you a huge favor. Sky's the limit for you, babe. Onward and upward from here on out. PLEASE keep blogging...I love your style!!!

jen

7/18/2012 12:51:11 am

I was on my homepage when I read caught your sign so I checked out the article. OMG your sense of humor is brilliant. Even the way you wrote about your house. I hope you get full asking price so you can start to rebuild your life again. I hope you will get to have a future full of wonderful memories to help dull the pain that "captain" caused. You are a wonderful, witty writer and if I had to guess I bet you are exactly that kind of person too. Your children are lucky to have you as a mom. Nothing worse for kids than a bitter divorce that they get stuck in the middle of but it sounds like your children are going to grow up just fine with a mom like you. That takes guts to lay your pain out there raw like you did but to be so honest about the reality of it. I don't know you but I admire your strength, If every couple that went through divorce and acted the way you did we would have a lot less screwed up kids. It certainly wasn't your fault you ex was a first class asshole but I am proud of you for handling this gracefully when you have two beautiful children involved. You aren't laying their like a doormat but your also not grinding his name in the mud (well he did that on his own). You sound like a awesome person to be around, I hope you come out of this with flying colors and karma is a bitch. Remember that. 22 year old will grow bored and move on and where will that leave "Captain", high and dry with a hand full himself and baby oil. :) Best of luck from Wisconsin!!!

Brenda L

7/18/2012 12:53:44 am

God bless you. I had a friend years ago who was tiny and a good wife of two kids and her husband cheated with a young one. My friend was so broken hearted but I said, when God sends it back to your ex tenfold, you will be vindicated. He paraded the blonde young one around with her big diamond ring, had the big wedding. 11 months later, his new bride cheated on him, left him, kept the ring and he had to file bankruptcy. My dear friend finally said to me, you are right, I do feel vindicated. If your ex's girlfriend cheated WITH him she will also cheat ON him. Bless you and your children.

Annie link

7/18/2012 12:54:25 am

You rock! What a wonderful attitude to carry, not only for yourself but for your children as well. So sorry you have to experience this. Best wishes!

CYNTHIA

7/18/2012 12:56:06 am

You are Woman loved the RRROAAAR!!!... ... prayers your way!... they say time heals all...and we get stronger!... watch out world!!...

7/18/2012 12:57:46 am

Saw this on yahoo and you are such a brave woman, god bless you on your journy and I know you will sell your home. I can relate with what you have gone through and it may not seem like it now but there will be a day your ex will realize that the grass was not greener on the other side. Be strong and take care of the those beautiful babies of yours........yeah and that is how it starts with texting ...they think it is innocent and all in good fun. It isn't and any talking to another woman when you are married is cheating 'period"

Sarah Sanchez

7/18/2012 12:59:57 am

I would've done the same thing if I didn't have my brother who is now renting my home. It does hurt to find out you've put your all into something you thought was magical, just to find out the other person was just an optical illusion..........do as you do and yes our children do help us move forward it'll be slow and painful but the reward in the end is worth all the current pain =) smile love...and SELL THAT DAMN HOUSE lol

Ellie

7/18/2012 01:00:25 am

Great marketing idea!! Im a realtor, I know.
Good for you and your attitude. I’ve been there. Was pregnant with our 3rd when we split up. Its hard at first, but it does get better.
I raised 3 wonderful children by working 2 jobs and going to school.
I was able to give my kids a great life by working hard and never compromising on the kids coming 1st!
I also shared your attitude of "things could be worse". I was always greatful for what I had. 1. Healthy children. 2. Lots of love from my babies everyday. 3. Food to eat. 4. A roof over our heads. You will be fine and get through this. I look back on my life and wouldnt trade where I am or what I went through to get here. You will do the same some day:-) Good luck to all of you!!

Melissa

7/18/2012 01:01:05 am

Oh Honey, you had me at Hello! You're blog is awesome and I love how you've turned something negative and made it something positive. What an outlook. I love how you count your blessings in such a dark time. We could all learn a thing or two from you. Your babies are beautiful and with a mommy like you, they will be just fine. Let's just hope yoga lovin, Capitan riding 22 year old doesn't get her hands on them. She's a bitch! Just saying!! At any rate, love your blog, love your house, love your style of writing and wit. Rock on!!!

Inspired

7/18/2012 01:04:00 am

Elle,
I read your story and I must say you are very amazing and God Bless you and your children. I called my wife today and told her about your story. Needless to say I was very inspired by it and it has made me think of how I can be better husband to her. I am not going to sit here and say we have never had a knock down drag out fight and that I have not packed my bags before which we have and I know that is not reason for story but it made me think about me and my actions in the past. We have a beautiful family with wonderful children and could never leave that. I hope this post does not bring the past for you but I just wanted to let you that you and your story has inspired someone and thank you...

Shannon

7/18/2012 01:04:24 am

I saw this on Yahoo! and had to check it out. I love it! How we handle our darkest moments defines who we are, and I think you have played your hand well! Good luck with the sale of the house and with your future!!

Christy

7/18/2012 01:06:23 am

I know what you are going through. My husband cheated on me with my "best" friend when I was 7 months pregnant with our second child. I stood in court 9 months pregnant and divorced him. Ohhhh the pain and heartache. That was many years ago, and things do get better, and believe me, what comes around, goes around. Both of them have crappy lives and are not together. Miss Yoga will get tired of him soon enough. I guarantee that! Right now she looks at him as something she won...It will not last. You are a strong woman and all women who are cheated on should take lessons from you. Best wishes for you and your children's future. Worst wishes for the loser ex-busband. And Miss Yoga, if you are reading, God doesnt like ugly...and you are UGLY.

Ken

7/18/2012 01:08:28 am

I, too, know the pain that comes from deep within your soul when you first learn that your spouse is cheating on you. I think you are a very strong and remarkable woman. I wish you the best in whatever you do. Next time, if there is a next time, I hope you find a real man. And if you do, size won't matter to anyone except the nosy old biddy down the street. You go, girl!!!

Cerissa link

7/18/2012 01:11:09 am

I feel like you are a very strong woman, and my family (I was the child) went thru the same thing a few years back. Just remember that God has a plan for you, and to stay strong for your kids. Always put them first. That was hard for one of my parents to do (the one who was cheated on) and I know how much that can hurt. Love, blessings, and prayers your way!

Naomi Wilton

7/18/2012 01:11:19 am

Altho' I am a grandma, I read some of your blog and I read the news article. I am glad you got the attention of the press! I actually find you inspirational! You probably already sold your house! You are creative and obviously very computer knowledgeable! I see a future of opportunities for you. Your attitude is remarkable. Thank you for sharing out there. It is a new age with this technological advancement. The world has entered into your plight; many can identify. Bless you!

Betty

7/18/2012 01:12:26 am

Wow! you are a strong woman and the hurt you are feeling now will be replaced by Joy and Happiness. There is aold bible saying: The lord will eplace your ashes for Beauty :) Hang in there and be strong for you and your kids.

7/18/2012 01:12:41 am

Wow is all I can say. I went through a divorce and I was the "stay in bed and cry" type. Some days I still cry and it has been a long time. I have to say that you should be proud of the way that you have handled yourself and the situation. And bravo for not bringing your kids into the "sign" thing. I have seen so many couples pit their children against each other and that is so bad. I have seen mothers sit their children down and tel them "guess what daddy did" and that is for sure not the way to go! I hope that as your children grow you two manage to maintain a civil relationship for their sake if for no other reason. You should be very proud of yourself and the way that you have handled things. If you go into everything in your future with the strength and level headed actions that you went into this, you will surely be blessed and success full. I wish you all the happiness in the future!

Alli

7/18/2012 01:13:27 am

All I have to say is you go girl! I love that you did this!!!

Barb Bach link

7/18/2012 01:15:07 am

LOVE IT! , but I am worried about your safety. With that info out on the web, folks know you are now alone, (I am assuming. I don't want to pry..Heee Heee,) with kids. etc. etc. So please be careful. But what a GREAT IDEA. This should bring buyers to your home. I hope you have a REALTOR® if not please get one.

Good luck and may your day be filled with sunshine, rainbow, hugs and lots of warm fuzzies!

Jack

7/18/2012 01:21:26 am

There's a movie in all this... hey, it's a sad/funny story and you own it now... thankfully you have a good spirit going on. BTW, don't give up the domain name it's growing in value and already is an asset which the book and movie will need for marketing.

Krissy

7/18/2012 01:22:03 am

Elle- Your story made me realize, I too can make the best of my bad situation. Thanks! My kids will thank you too!

Wayne Gunn

7/18/2012 01:22:37 am

Your sense of humor and reflection on your situation is laudable.

My wife left in April... sadly it was breast cancer that took her away after 32 years. We had a rough patch 15 years ago but we patched it up and were really happy and closer than ever.

You seem like the type of person who would gladly take your ex to the cleaners - if he needed a suit pressed for an important meeting and his car was in the shop.

Good luck.

Lena

7/18/2012 01:22:43 am

Wow! You are amazing. The house is beautiful and I hope that you have every success and happiness as you move forward in life. Good luck!

Kat

7/18/2012 01:24:21 am

Rock on, Elle! You are an inspiration! Stay strong. As for the cheating husband and his little homewrecker... what goes around comes around. It's just a matter of time. Karma's a bitch!

7/18/2012 01:25:25 am

What does not destroy us, only makes us stronger. People split all the time, the sad part is that your husband did not respect his role as a father and husband enough to keep his dick in his pants. When kids are involved, it pisses me off, they should have the chance at a home with both mommy and daddy there committed to the love of their family.
With your strength I think you will make it work out just fine as I did as a single mother. And Yes, things can be worse, much worse. so hold strong!
And the publicity you are getting is going to sky rocket your career, so hats off to you, and when your husband comes crawling back to you when you are independently successful and he is struggling to make ends meet I hope you tell him to go fuck himself! A snake may shed it's skin, but they still slither into small crevices.

Rachel

7/18/2012 01:27:32 am

My ex husband pulled a similar move on me while I was in the Army stationed thousands of miles away. Everyday we talked and he would say how much he loved me, missed me and then behind my back he was taking my paychecks and splurging on a younger woman he met online. Funny thing is this 23 yr old lived in the Philippines and he lived in Georgia with our 4 yr old son. He never met her, had no sexual relationship with her but became engaged to her online and racked up some pretty costly phone bills calling back and fourth. Cheating is devistating but knowing that only emotions to another person was what caused a divorce was very difficult. Not only was I thinking I was ugly on the outside but I felt sooooooo ugly on the inside. That in our 6 years of marriage we had such a weak emotional connection that I lost him to a person behind a computer. I wasted no time in filing for a divorce, my sister went and picked up our son and I later joined them. Being in the Army and cheating is such a HUGE no no, I had so much proof against his cheating that he just didn't fight anything and we were divorced in about 6 months. Girl, I applaude you because I wanted to paste both their faces on signs and pin them up all over..I know she is just as much at fault as he was because she saw the pictures and things online of our family. This woman was exposed to my life and I didn't know it for a long time, she saw my son's pictures and made comments on them on facebook. That is what pissed me off the most, he might as well have had dinner with her every night and taken along our son because to me it was no different. Well, anyway, now I am remarried to a fellow soldier and we live with my son and were working on having more children soon. I am actually thankful that this woman took that piece of crap out of my life, he is her problem now and I have never been happier. Keep your head up your night in shining armor will appear when you least expect it. Then in a weird way you will look back and thank that 22 year old, which they probably won't be together anymore. LOL... Stay Strong.. You inspired me to wanna post those signs.. HAHA.. When you start your club send me an invite..LOL

Kimberly

7/18/2012 01:27:37 am

Wow-Saw this on Yahoo and had to read about you and hear your story. You are "AMAZING"!! You're photography is beautiful! You have so much to offer and BELIEVE me....22 yr olds grow up and move on, and there he will be-all alone himself! Things happen for reasons that we can't always understand-but this was a blessing in disguise and you will find "you" in all of this. Just think, that "For Sale" sign can literally be changing your life as we speak. I commend you for your strength and great sense of humor! I wish you much success and happiness in the future for you and your children... :) "for every minute you are angry, you waste 60 seconds of happiness".......

Jennifer M link

7/18/2012 01:28:05 am

Ok so i stumbled on this from a Yahoo article...your popularity based on your add to sell your house and your honestly about your situation has made you bigger than you ever thought you could be. You have no idea how much inspiration you instill in women, period. You have proven to be strong and smart and a great mother. I have to admit it was hard at first to see your add because i thought about your children and thought "poor kids" since you are singling yourself out and kids can be cruel. Your 6 year old is smart and absorbing of all of the information going around and i felt bad because he will be the most affected in this whole situation since you put yourself out there like that. My wishes are that you continue to suceed and be a great mother and move and and find the love you deserve, but mostly i wish that this situation does not hurt your children's relationship with their father because regardless of what he did to you and his selfishness the children have a right to form their own opinion about him as a father (unfortunately some men are better fathers than they are husbands) so what im trying to say is please try to keep them out of this whole situation as much as possible and i cant imagine how horribly hard this must be but i can tell you that you hit the nail on the head when you noticed your children were being affected by your mood...as parents we need to shield our children as much as possible and i hope that this situation while i know will turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you (because no one needs someone that doesnt love them by their side) i hope it doesnt damage your children's relationshipt with their father at the end because that has long lasting effect that are very hard to repaid later one. Kids do not understand hatred or resentment or pain they only understand love and they need to feel that more than ever now. I hope your ex husband is not as big a jerk as a father as he was as a husband. THE BEST WISHES TO YOU! You definitely are off to a HUGE start and you will be a lot bigger than you can even imagine because believe it or not, people want to hear what you have to say. God bless you and your beautiful (and VERY talented) kids.

Ed Yarbrough

7/18/2012 01:30:57 am

Just wanted to say "you rock"! I'm glad I came to your site and could see the whole story and what an awesome attitude you have. Based on the story on Yahoo, I expected something totally different. But you have a great attitude toward such a painful situation. You acknowledge your pain and bitterness, but have a healthy plan to move forward. Wishing you the best for your future!

7/18/2012 01:35:24 am

You are a powerful woman I saw your story on yahoo and I had to comment. You have paved the way for scorned women everywhere. I wasn't married but my significant other was a dirt bag as well. Nothing beats going to dinner and the other women is across the table and everyone knows and you don't. But you pick yourself up and move on and start the process of making yourself happy. You and your children deserve better and they are lucky to have a Mom like you. Best wishes.

tee cee

7/18/2012 01:35:28 am

Go Elle Go! Put on the strong face... but don't forget to give yourself the time to grieve, to cry, and to scream. You will only be stronger because of it!

ANTOINETTE BROWN, HARLEM NWE YORK

7/18/2012 01:38:08 am

U ROCK!!! I SPENT 2HRS OF MY MORNING @ WK..LOL LOOKING OVER YOUR WEB SITE . LUV LUV IT.. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO SELL YOUR HOUSE (NICE HSE) AND IT IS THERAPY FOR YOU AS WELL .. MEN COME A DIME A DOZEN AND GOD WILL BLESS U WITH THE MATE U AND YOUR KIDS DESERVE . U HAVE ALREADY WON BEING GREATFUL FOR LIFE IS HALF THE BATTLE . YOUR EX WILL REALIZE REAL SOON WHAT A GEM HE LOST TRUST ME WHEN I SAY WE DON'T MISS WHAT WE HAD UNTIL IT IS GONE.. BRAVO FOR U . MANY BLESSING 2U AND UR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN .. GOD IS ALWAYS GOD :)

Ann in San Bernardino

7/18/2012 01:40:00 am

I think you've got the right attitude, besides the best revenge is a good life! And as far as those who feel the need to comment on your size, they should perhaps look in the mirror! Those of us who shop at Lane Bryant are beautiful, strong, loving, and often loved! A real man doesn't look at the tag in your clothes, but the love in your heart. Like you I've "grown" as my life goes on, and have lost a husband along the way (the best revenge there is she's now WAY bigger than I will EVER be!). But now I have my son (love of my life) and a man who loves me, not in spite of my size, it doesn't even factor in the equation! You have strength and an obvoius love for your kids, and you use your creativity in all aspects of your life, keep that up and some day this will just be a small (if slightly dark) chapter in the great book that is your life. To be honest I feel sorry for him... he doesn't yet know what he's lost...or more to the point thrown out. Many Blessings, and good luck on selling the house.

Feeling your pain in Cali link

7/18/2012 01:42:11 am

I saw your sign on the news last night and sadly I've lost my husband of 16 years to a 22 year old too. I love your positive and creative attitude. I feel your pain and know my thoughts are with you and your family!

mellow mama link

7/18/2012 01:42:54 am

As a child who watched her mom go through this heartache, and still 13 years later, we still fight against bitter memories, I'd like to say Good job sticking to your guns and having the self respect to know you deserve better. I feel your pain, and am happy to hear that you are handling things so well. If I could offer one piece of advice from all of this, it would be to try to keep the pain and bitterness from your sweet darlings. They have a multitude of feelings about this (and their feelings will mirror yours), and as a child who experienced a dad who womanized females, I can say that your kids will be stronger and have greater moral values because of your strength. I applaud you, and I wish you and your family the best. ****REMEMBER: you do not need a "new better model of a man" You are an amazing, strong woman, your children see you as their rock. I would advise giving yourself a giant amount of time before putting yourself back "on the market" so to speak. Give yourself a GIANT pat on the back, you are an amazing powerful woman. Remember to hug yourself, Remember that you DID NOTHING WRONG and played no part in "making your man run into another's arms." Some people are simply narcisstic, selfish, self-centered people, and el capitan definitely fits this description. He could have grown a pair of balls and spoken to you with integrity and honesty, and I can honestly say that your children are better off not living in the company of someone who is so self centered. Now to work on re-building your sense of self, and please please please re-inforce for your children their sense of self worth. Many kids in this stressful situation will blame themselves. They don't understand everything, and may have major issues with rejection as teens and adults....Speaking as an adult who's dad did the same thing and worse, I have battled with self esteem my whole life, and I can blame that on the time that I lived with my dad.

I wish you the best, I wish that you can wake up in the morning and see yourself as the strong, sensitive, loving goddess that you are. But most of all, I wish for your heart to heal, I wish for loving people in your life, I wish for happiness and stability for you and your family. Love and Peace to you my Sister:-)

Marilyn

7/18/2012 01:45:41 am

Wow!! What an amazing women you are! I hope you truly feel that, because you are. Its time to LIVE your life how you always intended to do so! I hope you continue to blog about your life I would love to hear what happens with you, because Im sure it will be amazing..

Maria

7/18/2012 01:46:45 am

Elle, you are beautiful, brilliant, organized, educated, and a wonderful mom. Revenge will come naturally, when your ex realizes what he had and what he lost and how hard it is to find another partner like you. I had several friends go through the same experience when they had little kids. Its like if the husband freaks out and wants to be a single college student again. In any case, all my friends are doing great now as they all realized they could live better on their own (and some have now boyfriends on the side, they don't want another husband). Don't take this badly but its great to do a makeover when you have been betrayed. I suggest you jumpstart yourself back into a healthier you. See the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" http://www.jointhereboot.com/ and read the blog of this wonderful women http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/ who at 60 turned her body around to look and feel 20 years younger. I am sure you will feel great again after a reboot and will totally enjoy the new you without the ex. You don't need another man to fill the void, you just need to feel great about yourself and all the rewards will come gradually (I already see them with all the attention your house and business is getting!!). Congratulations on the New Elle and I hope your lovely house sells soon. I wish I could buy it (love the kitchen!).

Michael

7/18/2012 01:46:57 am

I totally agree with you, I think that you sound like a great person and honest, you deserve someone special in your life and I hope yo get that. I hope that you are careful because there are tons of people that will try to take advantage of your situation. I wish you all the best! IAre you on facebook, so we can see updates?

Barb

7/18/2012 01:47:41 am

I'll be honest - I have never been in your shoes per say. I am the same age as you, have 2 boys, the youngest is 6 and loves skating as well :) Anyway, I have been in a few very abusive relaionships (too much to go into here). I have now spent the last 2 1/2 years with a man that, although he admits to lovng me and he is a beautiful man in his own way, is very emotionally "not there" and is very pessimistic. I have always been the optimist, but lately, I have found myself just wanting to give up on being truly happy. Your a very strong woman to not only be able to move on in the best way you can, but also to find a way to make the best of every day. I can't say it was your weight that caused this. If love is involved, that should NEVER matter ( I too am a "fluffy" person). Your story has truly made me rethink givng up. My kids and I are worth much more than that. I hope I can find the strength wthin me that you have to just move on and make happiness for myself! Thank you SO MUCH for being the person you are - you helped to open my eyes :)

Joy E.

7/18/2012 01:51:58 am

Been here myself only my Prince Charming left me when we were both 36 years old with a 6 year old son and an 18 month old daughter for an 'older sugar Momma'. By the way, she got wise to him and divorced him 3 years later after he cheated on her too. These sort of infidelity based relationships tend not to last and you can believe that 22 year old will get bored with El Capitan when his aches and pains kick in and he is no longer so charming or novel to her. She will probably dump him long before she is 30 years old. Right now he makes a nice cat toy for her and she is still 'in awe' of him... (sniff, cough)

I managed to keep our house because we had purchased his new truck with a HELOC using the house as collateral. As long as I agreed to pay the payments and just give him the truck, I got to keep the house. I also managed to keep MY retirement pension by taking financial responsibility for our other joint debt together. I knew he wouldn't pay the credit card payments (his joint debt, not mine, but I was on the card too) so I used that debt to bargain with against my future retirement pension and my personal IRA. Thank goodness I was smart enough to have a separate savings account he didn't know about and therefore didn't demand half of at the divorce...even though he NEVER put any money into savings accounts the entire 18 year marriage. By law, I could have been compelled to give him $10,000 of savings I spent 20 years saving in a rainy day fund in my home town because in the back of my mind I kinda knew he had deadbeat aspects to him. Thank you to my Mother for advising me at a young age to have a secret personal 'rainy day fund' in case things didn't work out. My Mother never liked my first husband....now I can see what she saw while I was blinded by love and lust at age 20.

I didn't ask for alimony either and asked for whatever the state determined was fair child support...to which he never pays until his drivers license is threatened for suspension. He owes almost $50 grand in back child support accrued since our divorce 10 years ago. I found out if I take him to court for it the Judge is likely only going to require him to pay $50 a month in addition to the child support he rarely pays now...what is the point in wasting my time and energy. Besides he is basically financially broke and now lives in an older small trailer on his ~married~ gal pal's farm. He ahhh... is her 'farm helper'... (sniff, cough)... Her husband is in his mid-70's.

Good Luck with your new life and El Capitan's shine will fade for you in time...I found that by year 4 divorced I felt lucky to be free to find someone who really was worth my time and devotion. After 8 years as a single Mom, I finally married and my current husband adores me in ways the sperm donor never did. He is by far a better Father to my children....I am content now and feel blessed.

Life is a journey, not a destination...and it can be bumpy... as dark as the rainy days can feel right now... always keep your eyes open to the beauty of the rainbows that will light your future path.

Warm Smiles from Florida.... Joy

Parks

7/18/2012 01:55:16 am

Elle,

Question. How do your kids not "see" the sign? Isnt it outside your house? Im not complaining about the sign, just curious. You know your kids better then anyone else. My only concern as a parent would be making the process more difficult on the kids by airing the mistake their dad made in public and how that might reflect on them. But, that aside, I love the way you have "embraced" the hardship and used it to spur you on, moving forward in life and hopefully, getting out from under the mortgage in the process without going through foreclosure. I admire you and your husband for being willing to work through ending the marriage with as much civility as possible. It would be easy (and justified) for you to act out of your anger, hurt and bitterness but you have chosen the higher path and your kids are blessed for your choice.

Travis Sabby link

7/18/2012 01:56:24 am

I like your website! I sell real estate in Minneapolis. Is this a wordpress site?

Dan

7/18/2012 01:58:41 am

Elle,

On behalf of real men and fathers everywhere, I apologize. Rest assured that not all of us are like this. There are two kinds of us in the world. Those who KNOW what we have, and those who learn what we had after it’s too late. I pray for the best for you and your children, and for clarity and maturation for your “ex”.

If all people dealt with these types of issues the ways you have, the world would be a much better place. God bless you and yours!

Lizzie

7/18/2012 01:59:18 am

Hi,

There is no need to be sad, or angry. This situation is the best thing that had happens to you. Why??? Because he is going to do the same, to her. And is going to be the same for her. Or viceversa she is going to do the same to him. A man that cheats on his wife does not deserve a loving caring family. You are going to look at the mirror one day and give thanks to God for what happens. Some day you are going to find a great man, that respects you and love you and your family that nothing on this earth. In the time being start loving yourself, and be healthy for you and your kids. Lose weight, not because this happens because you were with a few pounds more. Is because that is going to help you to be more healthy and extend your life span. Seek God with all your heart and soul. Good things are coming for you and your little angels. Big Hugs :) Lizzie

David

7/18/2012 01:59:22 am

Great idea to sell the house. Definitely makes the listing stand out. Hope you get your asking price in this market. Same thing happened to me 12 yrs ago. Social media wasn't what it is today. Had to sell the house just to get out from under it. I lost all equity I had in the place. (Roles were reversed, I had the kids and she had the new boyfriend.) It gets better but it takes time. I'm remarried with twice the house (twice the kids too). She is still looking for Mr. Right. Karma? I guess if you believe in that kind of thing.

Russ

7/18/2012 01:59:34 am

You're awesome!! There's nothing sexier to a man than brains and a sense of humor in a woman, and you're going to do just fine in this world. I've been cheated on and man, it does hurt--bad. Society needs to let these homewreckers (and yes, this is what these people are) that it's not okay, and it's immoral. Marriages all hit rough patches and it's not right to move in on people when they're vulnerable. Give the couple a chance to work on this and stay out of other people's marriages. I'm proud of you and wish you the best!

Holly

7/18/2012 01:59:35 am

Rock on, sister! Don't worry about all the negative publicity and comments and just keep doing what you're doing. I pray you have success in selling your house and everything else you do! :)

Steve

7/18/2012 02:01:11 am

Ellie

Sorry to hear about your situation. We just completed our divorce and I was the "scorned male." My ex left me for a high flying, financial executive type that started as an emotional affair.....he has all the benefits of living in nice home with all the benefits of a single male life. (No soccer tournaments, no college expenses, no dog walking (nice golden retriever here), no yard work etc etc. only fine dining, trips to Tahoe to ski, ride bikes and run "tough mudder events" because I guess that is what life is about? He is 8 years younger than her decent looking but sad to think their affair started before I even had a chance to know it was going on. I would never steal away someone knowing how hard marriage is no matter what. My ex is definately a looker and I did well on the selection committee many years ago but the concept of sickness and health went out the door I guess. My two girls live with me 98% of time. We are readjusting, changing careers from my global job.... (to meet ability to keep track of kids) but still fund my ex's new found neeed for spousal support to support the new guy with lavish gifts.......bitter ? of course? getting over it? yes, but it takes a long time. It is the holidays that really hurt....especially now that my parents are gone and we as a family unit really don't have traditions anymore....we had pitiful but nice small artificial Xmas tree during the holidays in our small but fashionable "new" apartment after we sold our home during the divorce and lost a shitload (California shitload). Damn what to do now with all the family photos, ornaments etc. I was the main photographer and all the pics are of my kids and ex wife?

Oh well, hang in there....keep trying....match.com etc. can work but hard to sift through all the craziness there too...... Even for me, strange women demanding committment on day one, never married women at age 45....what gives with that and way too many women with cats and silly little pocket dogs...way too many for sure.

Take care for now and good luck..hang in there

Steve

beatrice

7/18/2012 02:03:59 am

your amazing for being able to turn this around and learn to laugh at it.

Jules

7/18/2012 02:04:26 am

It is often said that SUCCESS is the best revenge! One day soon if not already you will thank your husband for getting out of your way to truly create the life you were meant to live. You have a artistic soul and an amazing sense of yourself..those are gifts from the Divine! As difficult as all this may seem now, it is part of your life plan. There are "bigger" and "better" things coming your way. The man that you are intended to grow old with and to build an amazing life with is making his way to you and all your talents that you have been blessed with will serve you well. So I lift my cup of coffee as a toast to you THANK YOU for inspiring me and so many others to be reminded of our talents and our being. WE ARE amazing in our own right!

Lindsey

7/18/2012 02:07:18 am

Your attitude is very inspiring. I am an adult child of two parents in your same situation. Last year my dad left my mom for his own 22 year old (although, in his defense, she was no younger than my mom and certainly no prettier...I am sure she doesn't do yoga)...completely ripping my family apart. They had been married 28 years. I have been struggling a lot with it, as has my mom obviously. We have all been in a very dark time and it is only now starting to lighten now that the house is sold and gone finally and we can all move on. I am just waiting for the ball to drop when my dad announces he's marrying his little friend but we'll deal with that when it comes.

It's been inspiring to read your first blog, and I thank you for posting it. It helps to put things in perspective. I don't know when we will fully recover from this whole situation, but your outlook on life reminded me on a rough day to keep looking up, and that we all have great lives over here with more than our fair share of blessings, and to keep sight of that.

God bless.

Dana

7/18/2012 02:07:40 am

Keep that sense of humor, follow your heart, keep your head up and scr*w the avalanche of negativity. You are working your way through it the best way you can for you and your children....that's all that's important. Just remember the old saying...opinions are like assholes....everybody has one. ;)

robbi

7/18/2012 02:10:15 am

You Rock!! truly an inspiration to others, whether they want to believe it or not... You go girl!
:)

Ronica

7/18/2012 02:11:52 am

I must say, I admire you for the way you are dealing with this! I can totally relate to your situation. :-(

Julie K

7/18/2012 02:11:53 am

OMG you are a riot Elle! I was married 3 years the first time, 19 years the second time and am engaged to the "Third Time's a Charm" number 3. He is my brother's best friend and I have had a crush on him since I was 9 (am now 44). So I feel your pain, have "been there, done that", was cheated on twice and still laugh everyday. I am friendly with both of my ex's, invite them to our kids graduations, family parties, grandbabies birthday parties, etc. It gets better, I swear. I wish you and the kiddo's the very best life has to offer!! Hugs to you all. :-)

Tim

7/18/2012 02:14:48 am

Sad to hear your story. I had a wife who did the same thing to me and left me with 2 sons. A 22 mo. and a 3 month old. That was 26 years ago. We made it and you be glad to know you will too.
All the best to you all.
BTW: I should have done what you did with the web page.

Poppi

7/18/2012 02:15:21 am

Elle - all I have to say is you rock !!! I just stmbled upon this while surfing the internet.. and ever since could not take my eyes of this blog !! It is one of my favorites !! and one such thing which I am not sharing with my husband...I guess he wont understand the light hearted yet strong emotions in this.. and I so can relate to you !! I haave never been cheated and dont know what I will do if I ever am cheated !! but your blog sure resonates the way I would like to see myself if I am in the same sitation...
Love you spirit..independance.. and most important thins.. "that nnobody can steal you from yourself... a slut can steal your husband.. he was weak and surrendered.. but nothing in this world can take away your motherhood " ... You are one solid and strong woman !! Keep up the spirit.. this too shall pass... as its walways a bright sunny morning after the dark stormy night !!!

Shari

7/18/2012 02:16:33 am

elle.....You are an amazing woman to be so positive and strong during such an emotional heartbreaking time......I can only imagine how much this must have hurt you and your family....I can tell you that I love my Husband more then anything in this world and I would be devastated beyond anything imaginable if this were to happen to US.....How much we weigh should never define us and we should feel safe and secure that the man that we love will love US unconditionally no matter what......good luck to you and Trust me you will find that kind of love one day;)

Shari

James

7/18/2012 02:16:38 am

Elle - my hat is off to you, and I'm sending you a long distance high five, hug, kiss on the cheek, another hug, and a virtual kick in the nuts for El Capitan. Let me be honest right up front: I am divorced, and it's my fault. I was the cheater in my first marriage. I was a serial cheater. I broke every vow I made, and have spent the subsequent years (16 of them) regretting those choices, hating myself, beating myself up, etc. I don't know if your ex ever will. At the very least, he should be deeply ashamed for doing this not just to you, but to those kids. I got lucky and found love again - married almost five years this time, with twin daughters who'll turn 3 in September. Reading your words was inspiring - you have such a beautiful way of expressing your feelings - which I can certainly relate to. Those children are very very lucky to have you as a mom. As for the 22 year old, the universe takes careful notes, and one day she will be on the receiving end of the intense pain she knowingly inflicted on you. When I cheated, people judged me harshly, and I deserved it. None of their judgment could even come close to the self-judgment with which I have lived. I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I did to my first wife, and I can only hope that your ex someday realizes what a terrible thing he has done: turning his FAMILY into just another sad statistic. You are an amazing woman, and I hope you get more than the asking price for your home. I sometimes wish I was God in disguise: so I could secretly enact revenge on your behalf. I'd start with nasty itching and scaly scabs all over little miss yoga lover's 22 year old body, followed by a trip down the stairs and a torn ACL or two so that yoga would be just a pleasant memory for her. As for the ex: how can a man make children and then turn around and do this to them? I'm rambling now: I guess those of us in the cheating and divorce club have a rawness to our memories and emotions, and it doesn't take much to get the vents going. I wish you nothing but peace, hope and love. You will find love again...or it will find you. Rock on, Elle.

S.L.

7/18/2012 04:22:09 am

I commend your honesty. Oh, if only every potential cheating husband could hear--really hear--the lessons of your past before falling into the same situation. I found out last year that my husband had serially cheated and it ruined us. Currently going through divorce, we now will never raise our children together as a couple; a loss for our two innocent kids. As I'm sure you can attest, no "extra-marital activity" is worth that. I am glad to know you fully realize the damage that was done. It sounds as though the regret and lessons learned have helped transform you for your second marriage. That is not often the case, so congratulations for taking your lumps and making improvements. Good luck to you and I hope your story scares married men out of going down the wrong path.

Michigan Mom

7/18/2012 02:17:46 am

You rock Elle! You're marketing your home in a humorous and unique way - as a fellow divorced Mom I went through losing a husband to another woman also. I sold the house, found a nice cozy smaller home just for me and my son and after 10 years (when I wasn't even trying or looking) the most wonderful man came into our lives and is now my husband and my son's father (his biological father took off after the divorce and disappeared for the past 13 years). You sound like a wonderful Mom and deserve to be happy with your children. Focus on the new nucleus of your family and everything will be okay. I'm sure your house will sell fast - I will say a prayer for you!!!

7/18/2012 02:18:04 am

As the saying goes, if you don't feed your man at home, he'll eat out.

Amy in Seattle

7/18/2012 02:19:03 am

You are amazing, and so is the house. I tell ya, if I could move my practice to Portland I'd buy your house in less than a heartbeat and would also want to be your best friend, because frankly, you rock.

Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.

Karen in Atlanta, Georgia

7/18/2012 02:19:27 am

YOU ARE TRULY AWESOME! Things happen for a reason. I am a FIRM believer that "all things work together for good". I would like to hear from you in 365 days. You are going to look back and see how so much has happened (better) in your life. I am praying for you and your kids. Kids are TOUGH and they will be alright.
May GOD continue to bless you and your family!

Lindy link

7/18/2012 02:19:55 am

Keep the positive attitude; the kids are definitely the important part of this equation, and the size of your Lane Bryant shorts doesn't matter... who you are is on the inside. Do yourself a favor, if Yoga 22 leaves him (the challenge is gone, she may move on), don't take him back.

May Iremainprivate

7/18/2012 02:23:40 am

Elle, hang in there. You had him younger and better. You got to make some beautiful new people that will always be yours. She got him older, deceptive, and as a lying cheater. Ew. Enjoy that "catch" Miss Yoga. I think we all know your future...

Pam D.

7/18/2012 02:25:35 am

Dear Elle,
I admire you so much for being able to keep a sense of humor and perspective during this trying time. Your kids are lucky to have you and I hope that you and your husband succeed in becoming friendly enough for the kids' sake.
Good luck to you.

Brigitte

7/18/2012 02:28:15 am

Thank you for sharing these priceless heart moments of growth with the rest of us; and reminding us how fragile life is & to enjoy life today to its fullest. I’m sure that was not your intent, but that was the outcome. Your website is quite tasteful considering the experience that brought you to this pivotal moment may not have been. These undesirable & painful experiences we go through are meant to shape us. And they do! In Hebrew, Elle means God's promise; God is my oath. Romans 5:3b & 4 says "we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." And that Hope is actually a person (not an idea). It's the person of Jesus Christ. I hope that your travels will lead you to Him who created you for the Lord has a wonderful plan for your life and your children. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I hope this blog, your website, and your businesses will prosper tremendously through Him who holds you in the palm of His hand. May Jesus bless you today Elle!

7/18/2012 02:29:39 am

This is fantastic! Wishing you all the best as you enter the next chapter of your amazing and empowering new life!

Kat

7/18/2012 02:31:42 am

You are a little bit awesome!

A.CAN

7/18/2012 02:32:04 am

I APPLAUD YOU AND YOUR STRENGTH... MAY GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR KIDS.

patrick

7/18/2012 02:33:15 am

Hello....WOW is all I have to say. I wish you only the best of luck. My dad is a Holocaust survivor, and I agree,,,,this is not the worst thing. I praise you for being strong and doing the right thing, even if the right thing was not done for you.
We will be in Portland in a month and would love to drive by the house...one of those things to place in our minds...again, good luck and if you ever need a person to listen to...were miles away but our ears are close.

Melissa

7/18/2012 02:34:48 am

Its not always a younger woman. I found out in March my husband had slept with a woman who was 43. I am 34. He is 34. He said that we had "grown apart" and he was looking for someone who would listen to him. Its odd, because he never mentioned to me there was an issue, though I tried SEVERAL times. And you are right. Looking at the cell phone bill..which I had never really done...can explain a whole lot. We are still together, and I am trying to find a way to forgive him and work through this, for the sake of my marriage. But every day is a challenge. I commend you for sharing your story with everyone. It takes a strong woman to do what you are, and I hope that I can find that in myself one day. And best of luck on selling the house :o)

Jeanne

7/18/2012 02:42:30 am

Elle, There is little I can do to make your situration better, but I did purchase 2 of the magnet and pray along with others you receive enough to be able to purchase the home perfect for you and your children. With your sense of humor and positive outlook, your future will be a bright one. I pray that you and your family have the peace that come from knowing GOD has a plan for you, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Take care, you are wonderful just the way you are.

Been there!

7/18/2012 03:35:07 am

I agree with Jeanne about Jeremiah 29:11. You're a lovely lady Elle and it's sad your ex forgot how beautiful you are. My ex left and just 1 month after he married his new wife, he told me he wanted to come back. He was sneaking to see me. I made him think I would take him back but then one day I yanked the rug right out from under him with an announcement that I was getting married. Funny things is that my best friends husband had left her and her ex came to see her for two years trying to get a taste of her in bed. He sure was shocked when he found out she was getting married too. When your ex sees that you have moved on, he's going to freak out!

One of the most interesting stories I've ever heard was from an old co-worker who had retired from the Air Force. He had left his wife and kids for a 23 year old and was loving his new beautiful babe when his ex got remarried. He went to pick his kids up at the Airport to keep for the summer, when here came his ex-wife and new husband walking hand in hand towards him. His little girl was on the shoulders of her new step-daddy. He said his heart sank because he realized that he had allowed himself to be replaced. He instantly no longer liked his new wife and the one thing that bothered him the most was that she did not fold his underwear like his first wife did. Isn't that hilarious!!! This was 15 years after he had left her and it still bothered him.

Jeanette

7/18/2012 02:43:46 am

You rock on with your bad self! I hope you sell 80,000 magnets, earn enough money to buy a new home of your own! I hope you find your true happiness in life!

christine

7/18/2012 02:43:47 am

Elle,
I'm really sorry for your recent loss. Then again, it might not be a loss after all. Remeber that your ex-husband failed you; 10 years ago he a made a promise and commitement to love you until death do you part. -Well! He failed. What I don't understand is that from the adultresses' point of view, doesn't this show what kind of person he is? A person that leaves another like that is a quitter; and if he left you for her, won't he do the same to her later in life?! Probably!!!!!! That just shows he doesn't like to work things out. Once a cheater, always a cheater! Sorry I don't live anywhere near close to you, otherwise I'd check out your place, I heard about this through yahoo. Hope everything works out for you though. And as the saying goes, what goes around, comes around, and so shall it be with your ex and his younger girlfriend who will hopefully get fat one day and he'll leave her for another younger woman.

Sylvia C link

7/18/2012 02:46:26 am

So..........I was perusing Yahoo! News as I do on the daily (okay, okay, hourly) basis, when I came across the article on your innovative way to sell your (broken) home. What a surprise - I think you just made my day! You took a hideous event and with a little humor, creativity and some gumption, you have tripped on an amazing marketing strategy! GOOD FOR YOU..... For owning all the ugly things people can feel when betrayed and turning it into something positive. ANYONE who has anything negative to say about you or your BEAUTIFUL home has issues of their own that you should just ignore and deflect, like Wonder Woman with her snazzy cuff bracelets (Oh, how I loved those bracelets....). I digress....I just want to tell you to keep up the good work. I pray you DO sell 40,000 magnets and get a new and even better home! Or, just pay off your totally kick a** home (burn some sage in the bedroom to get rid of the bad mojo). (I am shocked at the low price, but I live in California and can't imagine leaving, or I would buy it in a heartbeat! I have been to Beaverton (Nike's offices, specifically) as I worked for a company that had an exclusive with them. I still have the cleats I bought at the employee store....good times...)

Anyhoo........I've rambled enough.....just want to say KUDOS and I'm praying you sell enough magnets.........can't wait to get mine! :)

-Karma

7/18/2012 02:47:22 am

I love your creative sign! I love your story and the fact that you didn't (take the kids over to grandma's first) then rent a monster truck and run over the homewreckers. jk!
You seem to have the strength you need to get through this difficult time. Best of luck to you and your children! I wish you many smiles!

p.s. and jk, but I still say to the lousy ball-less husband and the oh so stupid (karma is a bi*ch) 22-yr old --- "Off With Their Heads"!

Sincerely,
Mother of 1, 25-yr old with a respect for marriages, mothers, children and humans in general, apparently unlike some people.

Kendra

7/18/2012 02:48:28 am

I think you are amazing!!! I admire you for being so strong for your children.

Vixxxen

7/18/2012 02:55:15 am

Elle,
I cannot possibly add anything to the wonderful comments that have already been posted here. So, I will just wish you good luck in whatever you do. Thank you for sharing your story, your humor and your heart. I am a firm believer in karma, what comes around always goes around!! I also believe that holding a grudge against someone is like a beautiful container of acid, what happens to that eventually? The acid ruins that beauty. Let him go, forgive him and move on. He isn't worth your tears, if he was, he never would have made you cry in the first place.

Blessings!
Vixxx

Angie

7/18/2012 02:57:00 am

Prayers for you and your family. Keep pressing forward. Your children are very blessed to have such a strong, loving mother by their side. This too shall pass and you will wake up to a happier day!

Lorraine

7/18/2012 02:58:53 am

Your strength is amazing! What an inspiration. My story is very similar, and you are right, it is the darkest of dark days!!!

I came home from work to an empty house and a note on my pillow. (funny thing is...when I came in, and the house looked totally ransacked, my first fear was that there had been a breakin and was my husband ok?) He did not even have the courage to tell me he was leaving. I was so in love with him that I did not even see it coming.

I allowed myself to cry on the bathroom floor for three days...then I pulled myself up, for myself and my two little boys, found my strength, and got on with our lives. He took so much from us...I was NOT going to let him steal my joy!!!

Wishing you and your beautiful babies EVERY good thing in life!! =) Lorraine

JoJo

7/18/2012 03:00:15 am

Rock on, sista! Your handling of this situation is amazing - there are so many out there who could certainly use a lesson from you! Everything happens for a reason, ya know, and this is more than likely a blessing in disguise! Your house looks adorable, BTW - I don't think you will have much trouble selling it! Keep up the great work!!!!

Megan Michelle

7/18/2012 03:03:43 am

Woman you are AMAZING. Keep strong and I hope this media blitz helps you get back on your feet. Much love from Canada

Jodi

7/18/2012 03:06:36 am

Thank you Elle, for making me laugh and cry at the same time. You are an inspiration, and more women should take a lesson or two from you. I know I did. Keep doing what you do. Its amazing! El Capitan, you should be ashamed and disgusted with yourself! Just so you know, yoga pants are NOT as attractive as you think, all full of sweat and those sneaky "yoga farts" that slip out while exercising. Let that simmer for a few..... you pig!

Aja

7/18/2012 03:23:34 am

I LOVE IT!!!!! I am divorced and understand your pain!....however you guts to sell your home in this manner is AMAZING!!!!!! I love your humor and your style!....One day the pain wont hurt or feel the way it does now...

Kelly B.

7/18/2012 03:27:25 am

Been there... done that and I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there!

Rachael

7/18/2012 03:28:11 am

You are truly amazing!

7/18/2012 03:28:16 am

Many of us have been there and found out that there is life after our exes!

Blair Johnson Typer link

7/18/2012 03:32:06 am

I gotta say, I'm humbled by your truthfulness on your husband cheating and kudo's to you for trying to turn a shitty situation into a hopefully helpful one. Good luck on selling the home, and even more luck for the years ahead raising those babies. I applaud you greatly. :) Keep your head up. People like you rise to the occasion and its always nice to see it play out.

Ca Steele

7/18/2012 03:33:46 am

My wife of 20 years just did the same thing. Trying to pick up the pieces and keep the kids in as normal life as possible.
Love the magnet,want one soon if i have to sell because of the same

Liz

7/18/2012 03:34:03 am

First and foremost, I applaud you and all you are doing to take care of not just your children, but yourself!!! Nothing is worse than being cheated on, lied to, etc., etc., etc.,my lovely ex-husband had 7 affairs in 16 yrs and was shocked and hurt that I finally summoned the courage to divorce his lame butt, and oddly enough did not understand why...REALLY??

At any rate, I have the most amazing husband now, who from day 1 has treated me the way a person wants and should be treated. I have a daughter, who was 14 when we met, and is now 28, and has treated her and still treats her as his own daughter. He fought a long and hard custody battle to get custody of his children, and won. Morals, principles, friendship, and all the other things that make a person a good person, is what my husband is.

Elle - take good care of yourself and your babies, your ex and his "lovely girlfriend" will have a big dose of Karma, and you my friend, will be able to sit back, relax and enjoy the show!

Keep doing what you are doing and keep applauding yourself everyday, because you truly deserve it!!!!

Good Luck and I wish you and your children peace :)

mike

7/18/2012 03:34:47 am

I read a lot of the comments. What a understanding group of people.everyone is quick to villify El capitian and side with ELLE now i have nothing against Elle but i will point out the obvious and say going onto the WWW to tell her story is revenge of a woman scorned, and all the other women scorned step up and say oh poor elle how strong you are. there are alays 2 sides to every story. I am not saying that Elle is a bad person but only El capitian and Elle really know what happened. use your common sense why did el capitian leave and go wth a younger woman... You figure it out. then Elle moved all his stuff to a storage shed..SHE MOVED IT. I would have thrown his stuff in the dumpster or gave all his stuff to whover wanted it, but to go to the expense and time of moving it all to a storage shad..... Really

She could not have been that mad. Just about everybody cheats. People change after 10 years goals and dreams change.. People change, life changes, life is dirty. is it right. NO, we all yearn for the perfect lifelong marrige, does it happen?? not near as much as we would like it to.
this is just a big publicity stunt for her web based business.

-Karma

7/18/2012 04:14:07 am

Mike---
I'm really going to use my common sense and say you are certainly no magic mike, but does that make it okay for your wife or husband to cheat before asking for a divorce like a decent individual? No.

People do change over time, but there is a way to end relationships without causing so much destruction. Also, Elle is a better person because I agree with the fact that I would probably have thrown all his stuff out or gave it away before paying for a storage and moving it. Those are the actions that show how she is a strong woman.

I'm pretty sure your last sentence was an extended accidental typo because I haven't been linked to any business, however you have just made me wonder what kind of business? What's the website Mike?

-Karma

7/18/2012 04:14:32 am

Angella

7/18/2012 04:34:51 am

Shut up, Mike. You suck. Go back under your rock.

JMD

7/18/2012 03:35:57 am

Your first blog is awesome! Keep it up!

Jordie link

7/18/2012 03:36:22 am

A lot of people here have focused on your personal life, so I'm not going to bridge that. I just wanted to let you know I am genuinely, whole-heartedly in love with your home, your garden, and your location. I'm a college student up by Seattle, so I don't have that kind of money, no matter how much I want to come down and buy it... but I hope you get every penny you're looking for. It's going for a great cause and I hope you find someone who will love and cherish your home as much as you do.

Ashley Nuzzo link

7/18/2012 03:36:47 am

SERIOUSLY - GET GOOGLE ADS UP ASAP! Put it under a friends name so Husband can claim none of the money. Love your sign!

Linz

7/18/2012 03:37:49 am

I feel your pain girl. My husband threw away his family for a MAN yes a man. I don't know what's worse, having your husband cheat on you with a man or woman. Since his choice is men, guess I'll never know. I have found that my family is the best support and medicine to get over this terrible disease called divorce. Your house is so cute and your children are oh so precious. You are in my prayers girl! XOXOXO

Judy Sigmon

7/18/2012 03:39:38 am

Elle,

I'm sorry your El Capitan turned into a cheating SOB. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior. If you are unhappy in any situation... GET OUT. That's what I've been telling my husband for the past 6 years. He's still around so I guess all is well. I don't know you, and I briefly heard something about the for sale sign on the news as I was leaving for work this morning, but after checking out the website and reading your blog I bet we'd get along. Too bad we're on different coasts (I'm in NC).

I haven't read any of the hurtful or mean comments you wrote about in your blog and I wont. Some people are just mean. Sometimes I think they intentionally try to hurt others to make themselves feel better. You've stated that the information on the For Sale sign is true and as long as it is true more power to you, sister! I think it's hilarious. Men (and women) cheat for the strangest reasons. I doubt it was because of the size of your pants... Look at that famous golfer (we all know who I am referring to) who was married to a woman who looked like an angel - he cheated on her for YEARS.

Good for you for moving forward. I wish you all the best. I will keep following your blog! Good luck selling the house too. Sending good thoughts your way.

Aimee

7/18/2012 03:40:29 am

I wish I could say something witty and insightful, but you have the market cornered on that. Good for you, and keep up the positive outlook. Been there, lived through it, made it out the other side, and much happier now than ever before.

Heather

7/18/2012 03:44:27 am

I don't care if you're morbidly obese and literally growing to your couch because you haven't moved in weeks, nobody deserves to go through what it sounds like you've been through. NOBODY. Reading this alone makes it very clear that you're a fun, creative individual who deserves to be with someone who appreciates you. Keep your head up, there are folks all over who love your sign and think you deserve and SHOULD post whatever the hell you want. Now, please excuse me while I go buy a magnet...

Ps- $20 says all of the negative comments come from former or current cheaters. Just my guess. ;)

Sarah

7/18/2012 04:26:08 am

I second that "PS" Heather!

Joyce

7/18/2012 03:45:14 am

Hi,
I'm a California Real Estate agent and I just had to write to you and tell you that you did an amazing job marketing your house. I'm trying to figure out how you can make some money marketing Real Estate. I am so impressed!! I wish you the best!! Joyce

Janet

7/18/2012 03:46:30 am

AMEN SISTER!! YOU ROCK!!!!

Ms King

7/18/2012 03:46:32 am

I think you are AWESOME!! Your brave and humorous approach is indeed proof positive that you have not lost yourself, your sense of humor, or…very importantly, your focus on moving forward. For you and your children, I wish you nothing but the best. Keep your head up and keep smiling; 2 things that will change for sure…their cohesiveness and your Lane Bryants –LMBO!!
Best wishes,
Your 97008 Beaverton neighbor

Katie

7/18/2012 03:49:17 am

I have to say, kudos to you for everything you've done! I agree that people need to laugh more (my daily statement is that the world just needs to lighten the eff up). And I salute you to have enough respect for yourself to WALK AWAY.

You're going through a horrible ordeal and still can laugh. I wish you the best, because you definitely deserve it :) God Bless xoxo

Chris link

7/18/2012 03:50:23 am

Elle, you're so funny and beautiful. Good luck to you. Here's our editorial about your fun filled marketing website:

http://beyoubebold.com/2012/07/18/elle-zobers-unique-sales-pitch-and-the-backlash-she-is-enduring/

Good luck selling your house!

Nicole

7/18/2012 03:50:47 am

I cant imagine that a 22 year old whom loves yoga, will keep his attention to long. He will be crawling back soon enough! From what I have seen and read about you, you are talented, witty, and intelligent. You deserve more than the captain! Reclaim your life and reinvent yourself WITHOUT him!

James

7/18/2012 03:52:45 am

Let me be one to add to the voices of encouragement. It takes a wise and wonderous person to deal with what you have dealt with in such a positive and humorous manner. I wish you and your children well as you begin Life 2.0.

I lost my wife of 23 years 4 years ago...wonderous, happy marriage...and have recently been blessed enough to begin life's journey again (my "life 2.0") by marrying a terrific lady who brightens my and my 7-year old daughter's lives every day. I hope you are eventually able to experience love again as well. Keep up your spirits and don't let the media (and idiots) bother you!

Mike

7/18/2012 03:53:33 am

Elle, you Rock! I detail yachts now, but was and still am a real estate agent. Agents should hire you to build their websites. But you rock in the resiliency department. Talk about making lemonade. WOW! My marriage ended after 7 unhappy years many, many years ago. Only after did I find out from my own young son that she (my ex) was involved with my son's tennis instructor. Well I won custody of my son - his (my ex) mom kept breaking court ordered visitation/sharing orders - and raised him as a single dad. It's all good now. He's since graduated from college and is a wonderful person. I'm also happily re-married now. You are funny, real and honest. The world needs more Elles.
Onward and upward,
Mike

Katina

7/18/2012 03:53:44 am

So fantastically wooooooohoooooooooooo to hear about someone else (FINALLY) turning a crappy situation into a happier laugh for many! Many years of wonderful Karma to you!!!

Barb

7/18/2012 03:54:36 am

You go girl! I know you have been through a lot but you've come a long way also! WTG. You are an inspiration to other ladies out there who come from the same background! Many many good wishes and prayers for you and your kids (and none for El Capitan!)

Rebeca

7/18/2012 03:54:58 am

I absolutely LOVE You!!! <3 <3 I also love your house, if I could buy it I would ;). Greetings from Florida! God Bless You

Patty

7/18/2012 03:55:30 am

BRAVO Elle! You are an inspiration, and I will be praying for you and your family. As a child of divorce and a divorcee myself, it is life changing, and although the wounds can be healed, there will always be scars.

Stephanie Walker

7/18/2012 03:56:02 am

OMG...we could soooooo be BFF's!
Love every bit of the site!!!

S.L.

7/18/2012 03:56:17 am

Like so many (unfortunately), last summer I found out my husband had cheated on me, not with one 22 yr old but Lord knows how many random women. In an instant, I felt I had become a Lifetime Channel TV movie cliche: We had a 3 yr old son and 3 month old daughter, we lived in a state where I had NO family (I had left gorgeous CA for his job in the snowy Midwest), my infant daughter had health issues, I had mastitis, and our house was already on the market--with no takers--as we were set to move once again across country. *Good times.* After two weeks of late-night tears I went straight into "happy mode" for the children. They almost never saw me cry. Yes, this works. It's not that I believe kids shouldn't learn to deal with emotions, but they were (still are) so young, and truly--it saves you from drowning in sorrow yourself.
It's one year and a cross-country move later, and the 3 of us have a very happy homelife. It's tough--and the divorce is still ongoing--but I'm alive, I'm healthy, and so my kids. Nothing is better than that. God bless you for taking matters into your own hands and using HUMOR. *So important!*
But the other point of this post is: Girlfriends and moms always come to the rescue and offer support in these situations. But I have been so pleasantly surprised by the words of wisdom and support from several of my friends' husbands. They have expressed how easy it would be for any man--or woman--to dive into the world of cheating. They simply state that NO piece of a** is worth losing their wife & family forever. AGREED! It frustrates and irritates them to see that the Guy Code of "Everyone does it, just don't get caught" supports this game of Russian Roulette. Inevitably, that bullet is going to hit: the cheater WILL get caught. And when it does, a family is shot down forever. It has helped me immensely to know that there are many men who purposely choose every day to dedicate themselves completely to their families, despite the ups & downs of life. (The fact that I ended up with one who neglected this crucial point is depressing as hell, but...) I know that partnership and loyalty DOES exist in the world and in some small way it helps to buffer what happened to me, to you, and to countless others who've gone through this. Blessings to you and those sweet kiddos of yours... To better days!!! :)

Libby

7/18/2012 03:56:56 am

You have a wonderful sense of humor and humility. These are qualities that no man can impact.
Your children are VERY lucky to have a Mom with such fire and brilliance.
Best of luck with the sale of your home.

Peggy

7/18/2012 04:06:39 am

Elle, I just have to say you made my day. I found the article on yahoo news and just had to go to your website. I, oh so, know what you are going through. Happened more than once to me. Two ex-husbands down and with number 3. (third times a charm, I hope) I am so much happier now than I ever was with either one of those two.
But, I just wanted to say I love your sense of humor and so want manganets for all of my friends and family, those are priceless. Hang in there and stay strong. Having great family and friends will help you through it all.
God Bless you and your children. :)

Christi

7/18/2012 04:09:28 am

Greetings from the mountains of Colorado. I love your gust for life and being able to find all the blessings you have, even in such a devastating time. Keep your sense of humor, kick your ex husband in the ass, and know that you have some times ahead of you.

Tosh

7/18/2012 04:09:54 am

First,
I just want to say you have sincere bravery and I applaud you for that. You are very inspirational. In the small town I live in people cheat all the time and the wife/or husband just turn their head and act like they don't know, which makes me so angry that they don't have the power or ability to speak up and they just let their spouse walk all over them like that. Cheating on your spouse is the absolute selfish thing a person could do especially when they have a family and I'm sure your Ex will have some serious Karma coming his way. And hopefully the 22yr olds name never gets out and I hope she honestly didn't know you two were married. I'm just got married and I couldn't imagine one of us cheating and hope I don't have to go thru what you and ur kids have. Marriage is about communication obviously ur ex forgot about that and only thought of himself.

2. I seriously think you should write a book it will definitely sell after this exposure and you can call it "A Women Speaks up, Scorned but not broken"

3. The home is very cute. The location is perfect. If we had our pre-approval letter we would definitively be putting an offer in.

Michael Chamberlain

7/18/2012 04:12:42 am

I ran across your story in Yahoo and found your website. What a super job with the website. If you haven't sold your house yet you most certaily will. divorce is ugly no matter how it happens or who steps out on who. But I can say by experience that good things will come along. You seem very together and your EX will probably regret his actions and the fact that he lost you forever. You and your kids will be fine I'm sure. You'll find that new best friend and you'll come to understand why all of this had to happen.

Lynn

7/18/2012 04:13:59 am

I am so proud of you for adopting a positive attitude in front of the kids. My thinking about your situation projects forward some years and I wonder....if they marry, he is going to age much quicker than she. How long will it be before she leaves him for a much younger man? Hmmm?

Donna Hunt

7/18/2012 04:17:10 am

Your sign is great and I see nothing wrong with it. I would LOVE to buy the house, it's beautiful and my family could really use a good house, but we just don't have the money for it. Good Luck, I hope you find someone great to buy the house.

Sarah

7/18/2012 04:24:29 am

I love your sense of humor and for the record, there's nothing wrong with Lane Bryant Capris ;) He is surely the one who lost out and you are an inspiration to women everywhere. I actually started looking at jobs in Oregon to see if we could relocate just to buy your house haha...unfortunatley I couldn't affrord the move, but I wish you all the luck in the world!

Leslie

7/18/2012 04:24:44 am

Elle! You totally ROCK! What an amazing attitude you have. You ARE A WINNER! Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing!!! :)

JennM

7/18/2012 04:28:15 am

Hi Elle, Just wanted to tell you that you're doing an amazing job. You have a a beautiful home, I wish you didn't have to sell. And looking at your children, there is no doubt that you are an amazing mother.
Stay strong, and take pride in knowing that in time el captain will look back on his choices and regret them terribly.
Also, please don't loose faith in the male race. I've been married a short time, I was cheated on, but for some reason I stuck it out, and worked through it with him. he seems to have a new appreciation for me, and the trust is slowly returning. It can be so hard to come back from something like this, but the right wonderful partner is out there, and one day you will find each other
Lots of love and strength being sent your way =)

Angella

7/18/2012 04:28:29 am

MY soon-to-be-ex was already married when we got married. Guess he wanted to experience the joys of polygamy. :) Don't know how that happened- can you sue the the court-system? But I'm sooooo going on with my life- and adding litigation with all the other nastiness just makes more nastiness, and I'm all for staying on a positive course. How did I find out? The Lord woke me up at 4:30 in the morning several months ago and told me to do a little research. True story.
For all of you out there going through this, it's going to be okay. Remember that Jesus loves you more than any other and He wants to make all things good, in accordance with Romans 8:28 (Dust off your Bibles and read it- it's worth it, I promise)!
Love you!

Jennifer

7/18/2012 04:34:01 am

elle,

Newly married and kid free (so far), I would hope if this were the ultimate outcome to any marriage they'd look up to you. You handled this far better than my own imagination could. And from your example to others I say thank you! From San Diego, CA.

jennifer

7/18/2012 04:34:09 am

I am very proud of you. You are a very strong person! You are a great role model for women and most importantly your children. I know about starting over and trying to keep the kids "normal" during the process. Keep your faith....it will get better believe me! He will regret it..he probably already does!

THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY WITH ME :)
God Bless

Leigh

7/18/2012 04:35:12 am

Keep posting Elle! You are so inspiring, and FUNNY!! Wish you lived in NC so we could be pals!

Kristen

7/18/2012 04:42:52 am

Well done! I shared this with several of my girlfriends that have been cheated upon, one of them is a real estate agent! We live in Seattle and one friend lives in PDX. Heck, I bought a magnet! Best of luck to you and your kids, I think you are doing a fabulous job of healing and moving on as best you can!

Gus

7/18/2012 04:42:57 am

One word "WOW". I applaud you for your strength, resilience and awesome sense of self and worth. I am sorry for your lose but a woman with the qualities and self confidence you possess should able to land a real man in no time.
Please don't be afraid to love again.
I want to assure you all men are not all dogs. I have been happily married for 18 going on eternity and I say that in a good way because I know this is the one woman for me and I want to spend eternity with her. Sure we have hit from time to time some seriously rough seas but that's what makes it worth it when you come the other side still together and stronger for it. Isn't that what that commitment implies? Well let's just say I'm in for the long haul...I hope she can put up with me because I'm not going anywhere.
Keep on Keeping on and keep the faith. Your forever love is waiting for you somewhere out there.
Here's to you and your family. May peace joy and happiness always be yours.

Angie

7/18/2012 04:43:14 am

You are awesome! Hang in there!!!

Jen

7/18/2012 04:44:23 am

Good luck to you, I hope it sells quickly, and for gobs of money.

I had an "Ex-Husband Sale* [*No actual men of any marital status will be sold]" yard sale two years ago when I moved house. HUGE success - people came JUST because they liked the signs and the concept/gimmick.

7/18/2012 04:44:30 am

Your my idol & hero!

NIki

7/18/2012 04:45:04 am

Wow - I think you are amazing and I would much rather be you than the 22-year-old who got your < good husband. :-/ I am betting that both you and your children will turn out just fine. Best wishes to you all.

your story is inspiring!

7/18/2012 04:46:33 am

I saw your story on YAHOO news and it made me very sad to see a family with kids broken up. BUT after reading this blog, I see that there is definitely a brighter side. your strength is amazing. i know usually two is to blame for the divorce but i can say cheating is wrong. however, it really seems like his lost. he was weak, ungrateful for the life he had, and selfish. you may or may not want to get back in the singles game, but when you do you will find someone awesome that actually deserves you.

VLG

7/18/2012 04:46:39 am

Wow! You are amazing!! I'm sorry about your marriage, but it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways if he's like that. You're better off now and so are your kids. You'd make a hell of a realtor if you're ever so inclined. I'm not a realtor, but I worked for them for 10 years and I've never seen such complete information on a property in my life. Plus you communicate! You write well and entertainingly! You're going to be just fine, in fact you're going to be better than fine. He's not. Someday you will see this as the greatest blessing and he's going to see it as his greatest mistake. The 22 year old will get bored of him and I wish I would be there to see it. You have a beautiful home and you'll have no trouble selling it. Your kids are lucky to have you. Happy life to you beautiful woman!!

7/18/2012 04:46:52 am

Keep your smile on! I sent an email before I realized there was a blog...my story is similiar to yours...but remember "the Lord may close the door in your face...but he always opens a window in your heart."

debi9kids link

7/18/2012 04:47:27 am

wow. SO well written.
I am always SO sad when I hear about anyone going through the pain of infidelity.
I am almost 2 years out from discovery of my husband's affair and while it does get "easier", it will always suck.
I chose to stay with my husband (which isn't always an option for everyone) and it has been the hardest thing I have ever done.
Most people can't understand why I gave him a chance, but like you described, he was/is the love of my life... hard to give up.

I'm so sorry for your pain and I pray you sell your home and get every penny you deserve.

(PS as for being surprised people want to know... I've got to tell you, when I started writing on my blog about my husband's infidelity, the readers came out of the woodwork. It was INSANE and at times felt great to be supported and at times felt so...odd.)

JimmyZ

7/18/2012 04:48:14 am

And yet another fat, miserable hulk of a woman that is unable to acknowledge her selfishness, stupidty and fatness. Stop eating all the twinkies, drinking malt liquor and being such a bitter old prude.

You got what you were wanting so piss off you malcontent.

edna

7/18/2012 04:50:47 am

Hey girl,

Do you want to keep the house and a stable home for your kids? I know your area quite well as I lived in Portland for almost a decade. I can show you ways to keep the house by yourself no matter what happens with your husband. Young people (22) are fun but the fun wears thin faster than he thinks. Whether he comes back or not or you decide to let him be a bigger part of your life again, you don't need to sell the house and you can stay there. Let me know if you want some help.

Take care of yourself too (although I think this blog has given you a lot of therapy).

Edna

Suzette

7/18/2012 04:52:55 am

You are doing the best you can with the cards that were dealt. I for one hope you sell 150,000 magnets so you can buy your kids & yourself a beautiful new home!

You & your children are beautiful people (inside & out) and you all deserve happiness.

Been there...done that with a cheater, and it's NOT your pant size that makes a man cheat (I am a size 4....) it's his choice that makes him cheat.

Best of luck, I will be keeping my eye on you waiting to hear great things!

Sincerely,
A Fellow Survivor

Alicia Somers link

7/18/2012 04:54:47 am

While my first comment should be the traditional "I'm sorry about what you are going through" I thought perhaps I'd say something a little different and a little positive.
Your design skills are phenomenal. The way you were able to transform a modest home into a practical work of art is impressive, to say the least. The pictures are beautiful and truly make me want to drop everything and move there and buy your house. However as I live in Florida and currently only have a part-time job, somehow that seems a bit far-fetched. The photography studio in the back yard is amazing! The kitchen is beyond words! I know you will sell this home and I know it will be to a worthy buyer, but wow am I jealous of them! I'm keeping this website in my favorites so I hope you don't take it down. The layout and design of this website is also beautiful to look and and easy to navigate. Best of luck to you and all of your endeavors! I can only hope to be as good a designer and photographer as you! I'm working on it, I wish you didn't live to far away because working with you just seems the bee's knees. Again, best of luck! -Alicia S.

Dawn

7/18/2012 04:55:36 am

Congratulations! You've taken your life into your hands and now you can do whatever it is that you desire. You are clearly a lovely, funny, warm, and caring woman. Your children will grow up strong and wise because of you, their mother. The very best of luck to you in next chapter of your life.

Becki link

7/18/2012 04:56:50 am

Love the sign. Its good to try to make light of something if it will help heal you. I am sure you will be happier and better in the big scheme of things. Lovely home, very quaint! Good luck with the sale

Rick link

7/18/2012 04:57:06 am

I happened across your ad and although I would love to live in Oregon, it's just not in the cards right now. But what I wanted to say is this. I had a wife who thought it was more fun to go elsewhere for "fun" as well. It is the WORST!!!!! I love your outlook and optimistic nature while still being hurt. I really just want to say that whoever, if any, the person is that finds you "down the road", will have found someone with a beautiful heart and soul. It's too bad that your spouse felt the need to be selfish and self serving. I have not a clue who you are....except what I have read on your blog....but I'll tell you this.....It is his loss. And if that's who he is/was/forever will be..........then good riddance. For me, it still brings pain in my heart, but as much as it hurts.....I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about "that" happening to me again. I'm from a place in life that I believe when we say...I do, I will, I promise, forever.....It should be forever. Take care and thank you for providing me a place to communicate with you and the very best to you and your children from this point on.

Laura K.

7/18/2012 05:01:07 am

WOW - TALK ABOUT TURNING A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE!! Bravo Elle! I loved what you wrote in your first blog ... especially how your moods effect(ed) your children's moods ...thanks for the reminder. It's so true yet easy to forget sometimes :-) What a darling house you have - too bad you have to sell it & too bad I live so far away in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, otherwise I'd scoop it up in a jiffy!! All the best to you as you start the next chapter in your life ...spread your wings and soar!! Laura K.

7/18/2012 05:05:32 am

as many people before me have written, i too went through something very similiar to yours. its hard because when there is someone else involved, it attacks your self esteem. i have grown so much because of what i went through. and even though it isnt your fault he cheated, that was his choice to deal with his issues that way, no one is perfect. i had to face the things that i wasnt good at, things that i did that arent healthy for a good marriage. i'm not blaming myself for what he did because like i said, its his choice, and i was always loyal and good to him, but i have my quirks as all people do. the thing about what these men did is that they chose to not deal with the problems and instead escape. but problems will always follow you. there is no escape from yourself. the same reasons that drove him to cheat with you will be the same reasons he will cheat on her. because thats how they deal with things. i believe God has a purpose for all of this that is happening to you, and to us. i also believe in karma, what goes around comes around. trust me, i have seen it. in the end, he would have lost everything for nothing. your ex and that girl deserve each other in ever sense of the word. lol . stay strong, i know it isnt easy, it takes years, i still have my moments and its 3 years later. but i know looking back ( as they say, hindsight is always 20/20), i am better off, because i deserve better, YOU deserve better. thanks for bringing humor to this, sometimes it takes a good laugh to get you through the day!! God bless you and your kids! :)

nofoocus

7/18/2012 05:06:46 am

Elle, I am inspired by your creativity and humor in the face of what you are going through. Your children will be much better off for having a parent who knows how to find humor in adverse situations. As a 37 year old mother with two small children myself, I cannot fathom your pain and uncertainty at this point in your life. I hope your husband knows that that lululemon wearing, size 2 yoga ass (I am clearly speculating here) could in a few short years be a size 18 sporting Walmart stretch pants and all he will be left with is Miss Yoga's personality. In reading your blog, it is clear you definitely have the upper hand in that department. Cheers to a quick emotional and financial recovery and a lifetime of happiness for you and your lovely children!

Pam

7/18/2012 05:07:51 am

Looks like you have received a lot more comments than you expected here... :)
Well I can almost top your story and a few others, I was married for 23 years have three beautiful teenage daughters, my ex is retired military and we were supposed to be moving back "home". Well in Dec. 2010 I came back home and started a new job, we were living only 6 1/2 hrs from "home". He brought our 2 younger daughters to me during Christmas break stayed a week, I tried to get him to stay during new years, but he wouldn't he was supposed to go back and tie up loose ends and move as soon as he could well New years 2011 he is telling me he loves me and the very next week tells me he wants to be separated. Then I look up phone records discover a number on there that he was talking to for long periods of time usually late at night, but yet he had told me his phone wasn't working it was messed up, amazing that it seemed to work just fine when "she" was calling him. Since then we are now divorced. I filed and paid for it. I could have asked for half of his retirement but didn't all I asked for was child support I have our two youngest daughters which are 15 and 17 years old. He moved in with this girlfriend around the time he was telling me he wanted to be separated, which is fine because I have a boyfriend that I live with now too, and we actually have a baby together... Nothing like being 42 and totally starting over....LOL... But life is so great I love the man that is in my life now.
I do have issues with this girlfriend of my ex though because I have been very nice throughout the entire thing, I didn't take him to the cleaners either. But his girlfriend refuses to let me talk to him about our daughters which is rediculous. She needs to get over herself if I wanted him back I wouldn't have paid for the divorce. I called and left her a voice mail shortly after I found out about her told her she could have him and everything that went with him..
I will always have feelings for this man, he was my first, we got married when I was 18 and we travelled the world together. We basically grew up together. I thought we would always be together, shows what I know I guess.. lol I hate it for my girls too but they seem to be handling things well.
One more thing if you havent heard the song "A little bit stronger" by Sara Evans, listen to it. That is my song to live by... :) Take care and I wish you Good luck and happiness in the future, take care of your kids and they will help you through it too :)

Beautifulmess7 link

7/18/2012 05:11:35 am

I have to say that I love, love, love your story! Not the heartbroken, cheated-on part, but the finding the strength to move on part. I agree wholeheartedly that cheating is the worst thing that someone can do in a marriage. It is devastating like someone who hasn't gone through it could never imagine.

I do have to say that I really enjoyed your photography and the way you styled the house. The kitchen is especially beautiful and inviting. Maybe you have a future in staging homes for sale? :) I'm just kidding (mostly). I almost wish I lived (or was moving) to that area so that I could purchase your beautiful home. It reminds me very, very much of the one I own.

I am encouraged by your honesty and the way you have pulled yourself together to make the best of a terrible situation. Best of luck!

- Another scorned woman
www.beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com

Lorey

7/18/2012 05:13:16 am

Stumbled across your website and couldn't help but click and check it out. I work for a Family Law Firm and work daily with people in your shoes and El Capitan's shoes. I appreciate and applaud your take on the situation. Most importantly, I respect your respect for your children and doing what is best for them. Hats off to you!!

Johnna

7/18/2012 05:15:05 am

I smell a solid career coming from all this! You are one very smart cookie!! Using what can clearly be the worst time in your life as a stepping stone, rather than crawling under a rock of sadness. Good for you. Plus you have given a voice to all the wives that have suffered the pain of adultery! Keep going girl! You are awesome!!

sarah

7/18/2012 05:18:53 am

I agree with Leigh - you are an inspiration! Reminds me of a card I once got "I stumble, I fall, yet I keep on dancing" .........and I wish you lived in MI so we could be pals!
Good luck with your house sale - such clever use of space and it is beautifully decorated. You seem like such a smart, talented, wonderful lady! I wish you and your kids well. God bless.

rebeka

7/18/2012 05:20:59 am

my "rock" of a husband cheated on me too..she was 15 years younger and worked with him...those long nights together must have made him turn from being my rock into her sand because he sure did shift into a whole new life. life goes on and 15 years later i have a solid marraige with someone i would have never met if the "rock" had not crumbled. lucky me! and reading your blog i know you and the kids are going to be great..the house is wonderful, you will have an even better house later...for now i hope you profit greatly from the pain and sorrow you have had to endure...may Light and happiness replace all the past darkness for you. i know the path you have walked. wishing you ever blooming lillies in all your favorite colors.

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

7/18/2012 05:21:06 am

Wow! In the face of adversity you certainly rise to the top, Bravo! I hope everything turns out well for you and your kids, I'm sure it will! You clearly have a knack for writing and are absolutely hilarious. You're right, people need to find the humour in things, thanks for the laughs. All the best to you and your kids.

Tam

7/18/2012 05:24:25 am

I read everything on your site and I think you are awesome! I love you home and the way you have chosen to deal with this enormous hardship. I know your home will be purchased by someone who can love it as you did, and some day you will find the happiness that you deserve. If he left you over a few pounds, he probably was never the person you thought he was. And just remember, the 22 year old will not always be so young and stretchy ! LOL. You may never read this, but I hope you do ! Forget the negative words. Those people have never been in your shoes!

7/18/2012 05:28:18 am

You are GREAT! Please ignore the "constructive criticism" offered by all the Ts and Matts. I'm loving your humorous take on life. I'm in the same situation. His cheatin' part happened 10+ years ago before we got married (while we were dating -- when Lane Bryant hadn't even made her first appearance in my closet). Talk about knocking your self esteem to the ground and doing stomp dance on it. Divorce came first to my mind, but I looked at the faces of my 5 year-old and 18-month-old boys, and I decided to stay and work it out with hubby.Yes, I'm still not sure if I make the right decision. But like you, I will use my boys' smiles and laughter to remind me that they are worth the trouble.

I wish all the best for you and your kids.

Smile On

7/18/2012 05:29:24 am

Your story brought tears to my eyes....but the "happy" tears, and then laughter! I wish you and your children the best , you truly deserve it!
You are incredibly strong....if in that situation, I might have torched the house while Yoga-Whore was in it! So more power to you!

Veronica

7/18/2012 05:33:20 am

Elle - I know you've gotten all kinds of comments and it seems the majority of them have been positive. I just wanted to tell you that you seem like a very funny, articulate woman. It's his loss. A yoga instructor will become boring after a while, you'll find a GOOD man who wants to laugh some day. I did. :)

Holly Cooper

7/18/2012 05:33:25 am

I found your site thru Yahoo and although I am sorry for how your circumstance came to be, I think you are handling it well. You know what they say...talking to a stranger helps a lot and you decided to tell thousands. So kudos. Also, great job on the detail and info on your house. I know you are not a realtor but you might want to consider it as a new career. If I was living in the Portland area or considering moving there, I would definitely consider your house after seeing your site. Awesome job! I am bookmarking your page to check back for updated blogs. And who knows, maybe you will sell 40,000 magnets. :)

Holly Cooper

Juan Gonzalez

7/18/2012 05:41:33 am

Stay strong, I am glad that your kids are top priority and you are not being vengeful like many women that I know would be. @Hustlr288 twitter

Jenny link

7/18/2012 05:42:17 am

Girl...you have to read my blog. http://happyhausfrau.blogspot.com/

It's allll about what happens when your husband trades you in. I love, LOVE what you've done! Enjoy this ride, sister, know that there are LEGIONS of us cheering for you!

JUA

7/18/2012 05:46:47 am

I applaud you for moving on with your life and choosing to focus on the positive in your life (your kids). You are a strong woman and with the love of your family you will definitely succeed!

Carrie

7/18/2012 05:53:34 am

I was in your shoes once and completely understand where you're coming from. I lost my house, car and husband but I didn't lose my dignity or the ability to continue loving my six children and push on forward to bigger and brighter things in life. I was determined not to lose myself and determined to give my children all that they deserved in life. That was 11 years ago, most of my children are out and off to college but I feel that I gave them all the love in the world and made them respectful young men and young lady...they respect eachother and the ones that they love. I also did find a wonderful man who waited until I was ready to trust and give my heart to again. We are now a year into my second marriage and am completely over heels with this man. He treats me the way my ex never did. And during this journey I learned a lot about myself and have improved myself by going back to college for an Associates degree...I have two more classes left, and with the suggestion of my new husband I will be returning to college for a Bachelors degree in Health Care.
I applaud you for all that your doing and for being strong. Honestly if I had the money I'd place an offer for your house, I feel in love with it when I saw the pictures. My best wishes to you, your babies and selling the house.

Jose Linares

7/18/2012 06:02:09 am

I hate when women think that men cheat because the woman got fat.

Men cheat because floozies pay attention to men and drop their panties.

After the daily grind and wives that forget to pay attention to their man, don't express gratitude, and jealous and insecure attitude, it is easy for the man's ego to give in to the floozies.

The only victims in any divorce are the kids.

Women need to wake up and realize that men also get tired of insecure, ungrateful women.

Misstreated

7/20/2012 07:50:06 am

Wow really floozies, and maybe that is why we are insecure and jeleous because of douches like you? What about giving the wife attention who nurtures the children and keeps the home in order? Oh wait us women do not need attention from a man, we are constantly giving ourselves to our kids and the mans needs that we often forget to take care of ourselves and what we need. I bet most women get sick and tired of THAT

Peter the Great

7/20/2012 02:10:09 pm

Yeah, the kids this, the kids that. Keep telling yourself that and live by those words. Don't be surprised when you find your husband in some other woman's arms.

Ha ha ha

Pete in Alabama

7/18/2012 06:08:27 am

I think you are amazingly strong women. Nothing in marriage or relationships beyound sex is easy. Once you make a couple of kids, then from that point on, its a time management issue especially if individual priorities and needs change. How a couple handles the new challenges will make or break a marriage. Understand age of a lover has little to do with the out come. Sale your home and move on with your life without fearing the next 22 year old.

Penny Russell link

7/18/2012 06:11:42 am

WOW!! Elle,Ive got to say I very much enjoyed reading your entire website!! You sound like such an awesome lady!! You show alot of courage & creativity in doing this!!! It makes me sad to think after all the love & hard work you put into your home,that you have to sell it.Although Im sure you & your children could use a fresh start & as few reminders of him as possible(for you that is )...I too have been thru the whole divorce thing 6 yrs ago,had to sell my home basically or lose it to foreclosure...am a single mom,but grateful for what I have too! If you're looking for a way to still work from home & even a chance to get healthy too,Id love to share my business/lifestyle with you.I think you'd fit in fabulously with the wonderful people I work with.Here's my website...www.pennyr.bodybyvi.com best of luck with everything & God Bless! Penny

Keri

7/18/2012 06:12:17 am

Well Elle, if I win the lottery, I promise I'll buy your house right after I pay mine off! You certainly deserve that type of windfall! You're such an inspiration to take all this with a sense of humor - I hope I never have to pull from your experience and I wish you all the best of luck!

Martha

7/18/2012 06:18:18 am

I like you post, its honest. Keep smiling, your happiness should never have a guy's name on it. you will be fine!

Allie

7/18/2012 06:20:16 am

You are really very inspiring. I saw this picture and decided to read it because it looked hilarious but found something totally different. I have had something like that happen to me. Im 22 but on the total opposite side,and its true about the moods, I have to stay positive and happy for my son, he will NOT see me any other way. I wish you luck on selling your house! It is beautiful.

Lisa link

7/18/2012 06:21:11 am

You. GO. Girl! <3

John

7/18/2012 06:41:41 am

You're a sweetheart. Say, I'm writing a telephone book -- can I have your number? ;-)

Julie

7/18/2012 06:42:37 am

I think your handling it very well, with dignity and quite a bit of business savy! Good for you, I don't see this as a revenge thing(and although I don't agree with revenge either, if there was ever anyone with a good reason, well it would be you) I think your doing what is absolutely best as a new single Mom. your home is small but very lovely and you did a great job decorating it. From what I've read of what you wrote and how your handling this, I just know your one tough cookie and you and your kids are going to be just fine...Your ex is a bit of a goof for letting someone like you go, but whatever...He should remember his 22 yr old isn't going to be 22 forever, but you are going to be the same strong,smart, amazing mother of his kids for life...Good luck to you Hon, I know you'll be alright, don't let the Arseholes on here get you down..There's enough of us women out here that are cheering you on!! I'm one of them..;)

Laura K.

7/18/2012 06:54:10 am

Me again! I am so inspired by you & your story. I'm adding my e-mail address so that I can receive any new comments to this post by others (rather than scrolling down trying to find the last one that I read - too time consuming!!) One day your ex will realize what he's lost .. you are an amazing woman who seems to be very intact considering how recent the shock of being betrayed is for you. You are an optimist - you see the world through positive eyes - the glass is half-full, not half empty for you. Your children are soooo lucky to have a mother like you!! BTW, once a cheater, always a cheater ... he'll probably cheat on her too! Laura K.

Deby

7/18/2012 06:58:05 am

Just wanted to say-- I think you've got a great sense of humor. It comes through in your writing and photos! You have a beautiful home, and if I didn't live on the East Coast, I'd absolutely want to live there. I hope you and the kids find a great new place to live. Best of luck to you!

Anabel

7/18/2012 06:58:30 am

Wow.....really liked your blog. Good for you being able to rise above and do what is best for you and your children!!!!

Lisa S.

7/18/2012 06:59:32 am

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Christina

7/18/2012 07:04:15 am

I think you are a very strong women and you are doing the right thing for you and your family, he is a POS and you and your kids dont need that, your blog rocks and i will be looking forward to more

Happiness

7/18/2012 07:09:50 am

Dear Elle,
Your sense of humor, your strength, your drive, your philosophy on life, and your dedication to your children, this website, your marketing strategy, and most of all your honesty are all amazing! Your photography is beautiful as well! Your story is truly inspiring. My parents separated when I was 13 (I am now 26 and about to get married myself in just a few weeks...I think our fridge could use a new magnet haha). My parents separated for similar reasons. Although their marriage didn't work out, they are both awesome parents and great people to me. Anyways...what I am trying to say is that my parent’s separation was really difficult for our family and devastating for my mother. She still hurts from it and although I believe my mother is a very strong person, I wish she had some of whatever it is that you have. Their separation impacted me greatly too, some bad and some even good. I learned how much work goes into maintaining relationships for one thing. But anyways, I admire your determination and commitment to find your own happiness and I'd like to thank you on behalf of your future older children's selves (hopefully they don’t mind),...not only are you inspiring for yourself and others in similar situations, but I can't even express how much it touches me or how important doing what you are doing is for them and their view of relationships and themselves. You are giving them a great gift; showing them how to be strong and carry on when things are tough and that they are strong as individuals and that they are important and more than a relationship, they are complex and dynamic individuals that are worthy and don't need someone else to complete them, another person just compliments them. I feel like I'm not quite even saying this right or doing this justice...how important and fundamental to them what you’re doing is...if your children are anything like I was, which they may not be, you are impacting them positively on a fundamental level that I can't even describe. Your kids will be strong because you showed them how to be. By finding your own happiness your children will learn how to find their own. You are teaching them to respect and value themselves as individuals. These are ideas that will become a part of them and what great ideas to have. . Best wishes for you and your family always.

BARBARA DYCUS

7/18/2012 07:15:05 am

You know you can plan for a lot of things but divorce is not one of those. Best you can do is pick yourself up, dust off and keep on walking. Yes you have a right to be bitter, did he not say in his "vows" til death do us part? But life goes on, without him. He may find someone else, you may not choose to. I did want to say you have a lovely home tho which I'm sure you put together thinking you would watch the kids grow up there, spend holidays with family and friends and grow old together. Yes, I've been there too. Wish you the best of luck in selling your home. Keep your chin up.

Jene' link

7/18/2012 07:15:12 am

Wow you are a very strong woman. You and your children will bounce back from this. God doesn't give you anything that you can't deal with.. your children will see you as the one in the right when they are older and respect and take care of you for that. I come from a divorced family and it was the best thing that could of happened to my mother. She could't be happier and guess who can't stop trying to get with her... yep my dad.. his loss. Good luck to you.

Holly

7/18/2012 07:22:21 am

I really like your house. It is so cute and has so much potential. It's a shame you have to sell it. You are a strong woman with a sense of humor and that is good. It sounds like you and your ex are trying to maintain a peaceful relationship (if you can call it that) for the children's sake. Good Luck with everything!

Stephanie

7/18/2012 07:26:54 am

Good for you. People will always say things, judge, and throw in their opinions because, well... people suck. You are handling yourself with so much class, and you have managed to do what many women have such a hard time doing when they find themselves in a similar situation... you picked your ass up off the floor and realized that you still have children who need your care. You have your kids, your health, and you get to make money doing work that you absolutely love to do! Don't worry about the negativity. Just keep doing what you're doing. It sounds to me like you're going to be just fine. :)

Bout to be Married

7/18/2012 07:34:48 am

you rock Elle...you are stronger than you may think!!!! You are such an insipration to everyone including me...yeah leaving you for someone younger....yeah okay....once he starts sagging and walking with a cane maybe she will leave HIM!!!!!! Stay strong....your ex was only put in your life for a short time (obviously) now that he is out the way...there is someone just for YOU and YOU ONLY....mark my word....good luck in the future and please keep up the good sense of humor....we all need to hear it sometimes....

7/18/2012 07:35:22 am

I just needed to add my two cents. :) My husband was cheated on by his ex wife, of course with a mutual coworker to add insult to injury. She left my husband with their 2 kids, broke up his marriage as well, with his 3 kids and bought a house with him. It lasted for a few months and she was moving out. Then she moved back in and out again. I believe during that time she was with another man.
Then they split up for good and she broke up another marriage. They have since split and she is with another man. Anyway my point is cheaters always cheat. I actually read a few studies and they think cheaters are just extremely immature. They can't get past that first kiss feeling. Elle, you will be fine, you seem tough. I will say I noticed a lot more anger directed at the woman than your husband. That seems backward and was just wondering if she was a friend of yours?

Clara

7/18/2012 07:41:13 am

Total admiration to you Elle!! I wish you the best that your new life will bring to you and your kids.
You're amazing, intelligent and funny, never change!!!!

Laurie

7/18/2012 07:53:58 am

You are a ridiculously strong woman and have a fantastic sense of humor through all of this. I loved your site and wish you luck with your house and moving on to a brighter happier future!

Littleloyd

7/18/2012 07:54:22 am

Good Luck to you and your family! It is a hard thing to face and you have to rebuild yourself which is not easy. Especially when you feel as though not all of you is there. With time it will all come. Stay strong and love those babies as you already do! Thank you for sharing your story. And you really should consider writing a book, you have a lot of followers! I am sorry for all the people with rude comments to you too! Godd Bless you and yours

Karen

7/18/2012 07:59:10 am

I am amazed at what this has done for you--KUDOS!! I too am a scorned woman. I have 2 children that were very hurt by divorce and lies. Let's just say I got full custody of them finally yesterday in the state of Texas--of all places!! God Bless you and good luck!!

M. Eastman

7/18/2012 08:08:20 am

I do not know (or even care) what all the other people are posting. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are being mature about this whole ugly business of cheating & divorce. You didn't have to care whether your ex agreed to your marketing strategy, but yet you did. Better than he deserved? Probably, but at least you know that it makes you the better person. Also you took a horrible situation & put a spin on it that will end up making this into a positive. Yes you are divorce, but you will be living on your own, on your own terms. Good for you! I hope others can learn from your situation.

thecandlemama

7/18/2012 08:23:25 am

Elle - I think you have done a wonderful job on not only the website, but in keeping your self-esteem up. Of course, I'm sure there have been many days when it wasn't up, but like you say, "I'm just sayin'!"

A coupe of things - firstly, please dig up some of the Lily bulbs and take them with you - you will then ALWAYS have your "lost one" with you.

Also - if I may, I'd like to make a suggestion that you either remove the photos of your georgeous children or blur out their faces. There are enough crackpots in this world who would jump at the chance to ruin the cocoon you have kpet your beauties in as far as the sign and them not seeing it.

Lastly - you seem such a wonderful person and yes, your home is just beautiful (and believe me, if I lived in WA and was in the market for a house, I'd jump at the chance!). You also seem very willing to - someday (and I sense sooner rather than later) - get back on good speaking terms with your husband - and good "liking" terms. Just wanted you to know I read a story once about a lady who was very devastated that her husband had also committed adultry and being a strong Christian woman that she was, she also wanted to be a role-model for her young children (although I think they were older than you little ones). But she loved her husband yet couldn't be with an adulterer. It wasn't that she had fallen out of love with him - it was him who went looking for something (someone) else and yes, younger too (not sure if she loved yoga though!). He broke it off with the young gal (as I hope your El Capitan will do if he hasn't done so already - when he realises she WILL ditch him for her young friends!). Anyway, he broke it off, and the lady (the wife) still loved him and WANTED to get back together. However (stay with me here - Christian woman etc) she refused to be married to an adulterer - so they got divorced. THEN, they got re-married the next day! Without knowing if you have any religious leaning I sense that you would consider this as you have raised a wonderful loving family in a wonderful loving home. Like you say - "I'm just sayin'!!!!"

Chris

7/18/2012 09:19:19 am

Woah! Elle has a great sense of humor and seems super fun....Turns out shes cute too!
http://www.businessinsider.com/elle-zober-speaks-out-on-cheating-ex-for-sale-sign-controversy-2012-7

Chelsea!

7/18/2012 09:48:53 am

Hey Elle! You're a tremendous inspiration! :) Don't ever lose touch of the person you are. And don't let any person make an attempt to take away your sunshine. Your kids are lucky to have you. :) Keep on, keepin on!

Peanut Gallery

7/18/2012 09:54:20 am

That which doesn't kill us - makes us stronger. Some challenges make life difficult but in the end they will make us stronger as I am sure you will without a doubt.

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change

Although I am shaking my head at the fact that you can be so thoughtful towards your ex. (paying for storage and giving him the key, asking his permission to use the for sale signs etc). I don't want to sound callous or rude but why in the world would you even give a second thought to what he would think. Did he ask your permission to have the affair or if it was okay to walk out on you and those little angels? Did he care how you would feel?

Believe me I would be doing what I WANTED without a second thought to what the cheater wanted.

You are definately an incredible woman/mother and I applaud you.

A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman

I think Oprah said it best:
It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always

Vicki

7/18/2012 09:57:04 am

Good for you and my God Bless you and your kids. As for those two, they will never have relationship security because they both cheated and once a cheater, always a cheater =)

scir91 link

7/18/2012 11:09:19 am

milk does a body good. polygamy does a household good. 'nuff said.

Michelle link

7/18/2012 11:20:04 am

Love it! Keep writting!

Kim

7/18/2012 11:20:11 am

I do believe you have missed your calling as a writer. As an avid reader I would read a book with your sense of understanding, emotion and humor. You are talented, gifted and are truelly a blessing to your family. If there are publishers out there reading this riht now I encourage you to make this girl your next big seller. May the Lord shine on your home everyday.....Take care of yourself. p.s. Maybe if enough of us blog readers spread the word we could be reading your stuff soon. Then you could make great money and still stay at home with your kids. Just sayin......

julie

7/18/2012 11:52:05 am

I wish I would have come up with the name "the scorned and bitter blog." LOVE it! I'm right there with you, but a bit further down the road. The same old story: wife has kids, wife stays home with kids, wife puts career on hold, husband cheats and leaves wife with no job (and it my case, with the kids). I had no idea anything was even wrong! I am scorned and bitter, but I did love him so much, and do (in a way) even after all the horrible lies he has told to everyone around us just to save face.

I enjoyed your site and best of luck with the sale of your house. I just moved into my OWN house with the kids, a big downsize, but we couldn't be happier :)

7/18/2012 12:06:33 pm

Just wanted to say...that yoga instructor might be thinner and even more flexible, but there just cannot be any way she is cooler, funnier, or smarter than you. Your husband will look back on this and know he royally phucked up. You can take that to the bank.

Hayden

7/18/2012 12:11:24 pm

You're a doll !!! Way to have a sense of humor !!

Erin

7/18/2012 12:32:31 pm

You are amazing!!! Your blog was extremely witty and well-written. Wishing you the best!

Carol

7/18/2012 12:48:44 pm

I just wanted to tell you that I think this idea is awesome and I hope you sell the house soon. I have to say that you are a funny, strong, amazing woman and I am sure you are a lot more than that, but that's my impression from this tiny bit of yourself online. I too have experienced the pain of a husband cheating and it was beyond horrible. I felt like my heart was actually ripped from my chest and it took a looooooong time for me to find joy and sense in the world. You seem to be handling it better than I did. I wish I could have bounced back better and faster and not placed so much blame on myself. All the best to you...ignore the mean and ignorant comments. They don't know you, they are most likely very mean, lonely, ignorant people, who have nothing better to do than to slam everyone and anyone. Love your kids and yourself and I wish you happiness, health and love.

Greg link

7/18/2012 12:54:00 pm

Hi Elle,

Sorry to hear your big "D",... yes it sucks. But on a good note, I love your website on selling your house, with blog... could you help me out and let me know how you did it? Was it through WordPress? I would like to setup something like this for my little issues with home and family.

Thanks! Good luck to you!

Danielle

7/18/2012 01:23:09 pm

I just wanted to say, GO YOU!! My husband left me 5 months after we bought our first house. That was two years ago, and I'm still struggling to pay all of my bills. Our daughter is four now, he is still with the "girl" he left me for. They actually bought a house together a few months ago. I don't know how because I refuse to refinance an take his name off. That way if I should happen to lose the house, he can go down with it. That may be cruel, but my credit has tanked and I couldn't get a loan to do it anyway. I applaud you!! Good luck!!

Debbie

7/18/2012 01:24:35 pm

Hi! if you ever want to chat, send me an e-mail. I've been through what you have gone through, and our marriage was restored - there is hope! Your husband being unfaithful was a choice that he made. You were never asked if it was okay. Things are fun for him right now, but there are consequences and he's accountable to God for you and your children. And yes, even after a divorce a marriage can be restored and sometimes, it's even better than it was before. Keep your eyes looking forward!

Robin

7/18/2012 02:14:42 pm

Not one of your women friends is going to level with you. They will all enable your misery and unhappiness. Not one of these "friends" of yours will actually ask you: "What was your part in this break-up? What part of the dissolution of your marriage have you been responsible for?" Here are a few home truths:

1] Your husband did not leave you because your ass got bigger
2] He did not leave you because she's 22 yrs old
3] He did not leave you for sex
4] He did not leave you because he "fell out of love" with you
5] There is no relationship in which one person is 100% "guilty" while the other is 100% "innocent"

There are some things that spring out at me when reading your story. You say your "Mom" helped you pack up, etc? How old are you, five? How much interference did your mother cause in your marriage? How much does she side with you against your evil, unfaithful husband?

There is exactly one reason why your husband cheated, assuming he's not a serial philanderer and assuming he spent the first years of your marriage faithful to you: He was not being heard by you. He was not being appreciated at the deepest level by you. Yes, I know you loved him, cared for him, cooked for him, washed his socks, raised his kids. But did you LISTEN to him? Really, really, deeply LISTEN to him? At the level he needed to be heard? Could you understand the meaning of the things he spoke about, even if they weren't important to you? Could you allow yourself to just HEAR his fears, hopes, dreams, anxieties, worries, nightmares without trying to FIX them, or explain them away?

Could he impact you? Could he connect to you? I assure you now, that his 22 yr old can not do any of these things - she's just an illusion that he's suffering, and HE IS STILL AVAILABLE TO BE CONNECTED WITH - if you can speak so that he can hear, and if you can listen so that he can be heard.

Tough stuff. I feel for you. Been there, and done that.

Tracey

7/18/2012 06:28:26 pm

Robin--where do I begin? When I read your words, the image that is conjured is one of a plastic, fake woman who pimps the talk show circuit to sell a paperback book to desperate women on "how to turn yourself inside out to keep your man." So pathetic. Aw. Poor baby wasn't being heard!! Whaaaa!! Whatever shall he do?? I know! He should go sleep around on his wife!! He should abandon his responsibilities as a husband and father and hop in the sack of someone who's not his WIFE!!

I am so SICK of these backward, antiquated women who believe that if your man isn't happy, then shame on you! If he decides to cheat and potentially invite another woman and god forbid, diseases into your relationship, then it's YOUR fault, gals, because a good wife keeps her man happy at all costs!

Let me tell you something, Robin, it's not my job (or any woman's) to keep anyone on this earth happy. I do not have the power to make someone feel this way or that way--that's a choice each individual makes. And if my husband has an issue with me, I hope he will be MAN enough to file for divorce before he breaks our vows, as Elle probably wished her mate had done. Marriages don't work out all the time--but some people are big enough to pull the plug before they slink off to bed with others. That's just cowardly and disgusting. I can't believe you're defending such a spineless act. Further, *wahh wahh wahh* if the poor baby wasn't being "heard", he should have paid a counselor to hear him blather on by the hour about how he couldn't man up and make the decision to leave his wife. Instead, he took the coward's way out so she'd have to make that awful decision.

Laura K.

7/19/2012 12:50:15 am

Tracey ... well said ... some people feel the need to make excuses for 'bad' bahaviour. I too am horrified when victims of adultery (i.e. the spouses) are blamed because their 'other half' was too weak to remain faithful. The only person to blame is the one who committed adultery!! I've already sent 2 other comments to Elle, however, once again, YOU GO GIRL. BTW, how wonderful to have a french name that means her/she ...girl power!!

Need To Apologize

7/18/2012 02:40:29 pm

So this story touched me, not because I'm one of the hundreds of other empathetic scorned women posting here, but because when I was younger and stupider, I was one of those "other" women.

At least in my case, there were no kids, but I know that doesn't make it much better for her. And all I can say is, years later, I still feel ashamed of myself for it and if your 22 year old has any decency, she will eventually, too.

The guy that I stole (repeat offender cheater) was definitely not worth losing my self-respect for, I quickly realized. I never met or spoke with the woman I betrayed, but I know this will be one of my lifelong regrets, and I wish I had the opportunity to apologize for causing her pain. I hope somehow she knows I regret it and that I feel terrible for it still, years later.

I try to tell myself that she's better off without him anyway but I know that's absolutely no excuse for what I did and doesn't justify anything. From what I knew of her, she was an awesome woman and way too good for him (and to him) anyway, I hope she's doing amazing with someone much better, because she deserved better from him and from me. She didn't deserve to be hurt by my foolishness, my immaturity, my lack of self-esteem and self-respect at that low point in my life.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get this message through to the woman I should be apologizing to, but I hope my apology from this perspective helps some of people who are/were hurt by people like me. I'm sorry.

Debbie

7/19/2012 12:56:18 pm

Apologize - it took a lot for you to type what you typed. A wife of a husband who was unfaithful (but restored), it is always something we wish we could hear from the other women - but sometimes it is impossible - Know that God heard what you said and knows your heart - Give it to Him - ask Him for forgivness, he'll take care of the rest - promise!

mike

7/18/2012 02:41:23 pm

Robin

you go girl tell it like it is.

Katie

7/18/2012 03:10:50 pm

Love the blog. Hate the situation. Enjoy your approach and love of life. I will be reading every post. Ignore the haters... it's their thing... it defines them. mehh Anyway, you are a very strong woman and I have no doubt you will do well. BTW, your mom sounds like a riot! Look forward to your posts.

Michele

7/18/2012 03:33:26 pm

Robin, are you serious!? Wow! So thankful I don't have "friends" like you. Shame on you for turning this into what Elle did wrong. We are all guilty of not always being there 100% for our spouses, but that doesn't give the husband or "other party" the right to destroy a family. And, if one of my daughters were going through this, you better believe I would be there to hold her and help her. If you don't want to be supportive, that's OK, but back off the judging. Again, shame on you!

Rebecca link

7/18/2012 06:14:47 pm

Dear dear Elle, I don't know how I came across this site, but I'm glad I did! You are incredibly strong, and yes, you appear to be in complete command of your own fate. It looks as if you're doing what you have to do to take care of you and yours, and if haters want to knock you for that, perhaps they can write your mortgage check for the next 30 years? You are beautiful and even if you were not, no woman deserves to be disrespected in the way you were. But instead of reacting, you acted--acted to move forward for yourself and your family. I wish our media shed light on more women like you, instead of these little girls we see on our television today who don't have a clue about dignity! You're my new hero!

Gena

7/18/2012 11:14:10 pm

Robin, I have been together and married for 30 years to the same man. Do you realized how many times my husband really "LISTENS" to me as you put it? I would have cheated years ago. He listens when it really counts.
Don't blame Elle for his indiscretions and so what if your mom helped you pack things up.
Elle you have such a great attitude! I hope you sell your house soon so you can find your own home.

Susan

7/18/2012 11:29:14 pm

Hello Elle, I also got a divorce at 37 after finding out my husband was cheating and I had 3 children and had to sell my home. We had an amicable divorce and discussed splitting the assets. It is 20 years later I have wonderful, healthy children who are now 34, 32 and 30 and 9 grandchildren. I have a great job at a renowned university and enjoying life. It was not always easy, but it was the best decision. Keep up the faith, you are a strong woman.

carol

7/19/2012 12:00:59 am

I have to say good for you! You are so very funny, love the blog.

Jon

7/19/2012 12:59:24 am

Hi Ellie,

Your husband must be jerk. I think your attractive and are a committed person. I think your house will sell fast due to the media. Be strong and like you said having a sense of humor helps.

I went through 2 divorces and lost everything, the house, my son form the first marriage and my daughter form my second marriage.

I was homeless half a dozen times and had to live off my son and daughters life insurance policies to make it. That was years ago.
I still struggle with my own challenges with the house I am living in now.

I wish I could get national attention on my house issues.

Take care and God bless

Jon

MustLoveDogs

7/19/2012 01:45:32 am

Wow, I cannot even begin to tell you about all the levels I can relate to you on. Let's start with 14 years gone in a matter of moments when my ex was caught not just cheating but to have been cheating for a few years in various countries..I mean, no one told me that marriage vows only count when you are both in the same country!

I had three kids and a house to sell (though we didn't get that far since someone broke in and then burned it down on their way out), and people that thought I was bat-crap crazy for finding ways to lighten the mood when the subject of him or my marriage came up in conversations.

I mean, really? I had three kids to take care of..one in high school and two in elementary..I was supposed to do what exactly? Have the vapors and retire to my bed in a swoon. Go around with a tear stained face, wringing my hands and doing the woe is me thing because he couldn't keep mister willy locked up in the tighty whitey cage whenever he landed on foreign soil?

I had friends tell me I was an idiot...to let him have his affairs so long as that six figure salary kept going into our joint account and he left me alone to spend it as I wanted..um..sure..like that's going to happen! six figures a year vs. my integrity, it was no contest..his money lost out.

My life changed drastically at that point and I'd like to say it was all rainbows and unicorns from there on out...it wasn't..at a time my kids and I were literally days from living in my car, but with grit and determination we found ways to make our life work without his help (because as soon as he realized I wasn't quitting..he quit his high paying job and went to work for minimum wage..go figure).. and then finally after seven years with bare minimum of help and contact from his highness we got 'er done.

I heard a wide range of reasons it was my fault he couldn't remain faithful to which I very quickly called shenanigans...the one thing it isn't..is your fault. If someone isn't happy they need to nut up and talk to their partner about it. Leave BEFORE you play bouncy castle with another partner. I'm not sure when it is that people will realize a little lie now hurts 1000x more when it's found out, than the painful truth right now.
You rock on lady, keep that sense of humor because some days it is going to be all that helps you put one foot in front of the other.
And take heart hon..the best comes to those who live right and stay true to self!

Mike

7/19/2012 03:05:47 am

I am a man, a husband, and a father. Your ex is not a man because this is no way for a 'man' to treat his family; he has no honor as well as no heart. I am in total support of you and hope you will find happiness soon. Your home is beautiful and it shows that it was a place of the heart for you and your family. A true man does not tear such beautiful things apart for lust or uncommunicated needs. No marriage is perfect and I am not either but my love for my wife, my kids and my home anchor me and at times I forget but prayer keeps me in line. I wish your ex had prayed to see the you and his family first instead of his own carnal needs.

Nicole

7/19/2012 04:19:23 am

You have an amazing outlook on life, which is admirable. Your sense of self along with your appreciation for love, family and humor is refreshing.
Hoping that you and your family enjoy every moment, as I sense that you already do.
Your 'For Sale' sign rocks!

Sam

7/19/2012 11:14:02 am

This is amazing....."It's not my job to make anyone happy." is just one example. Most of these posts are women who were cheated on, and can't IMAGINE that they had any role in pushing him away.
Some of you have 2 divorces! 2! Think it might be you?

Maybe, just maybe, if you let your man know you appreciate him daily....Greeting him at the door when he gets home...Not dumping shit on him right out of the gate, little makeup wouldnt hurt, maybe throw away the sweat pants.....Little things make a difference.

"But he doesn't do that for me." Maybe not...Why should he? He will appreciate you if you appreciate him. Promise.

"F-that! I'm not doing that." Well, ladies, heres the cold truth. Your attractiveness to the opposite sex starts at about 14, peaks around 28 and by 40 *most* have just given up and let themselves go.

Men, we don't really grow into our bodies untill about 21ish, and we peak about 45.

How many 20 year old men do you see with 45 year old women.

40s...divorced with kids..... Your resale value isn't the same as a man, even with kids.

Yeah yeah, here comes all the hate posts. Thats too bad. Instead of shooting the messenger, you should consider that what I'm saying is true and it's in your best interest to keep the man you have years invested in, who you love and loves you happy.

And, if I'm wrong.... What does it hurt to have a happy husband?

The 40 year old

7/23/2012 10:28:04 pm

You're an idiot Sam. Seriously, your comments are lewd and completely wrong. I just love how it's always the woman's responsiability to "keep up" and not let ourselves go. You men have some nerve.....let's not get started about your mid-section tires, back hair, and denial balding. I'm twice divorced with four children when I met my (now) 27 year old husband. At 40, I am no where near "given up" and at most times, he isnt even close to catching the marathons I run around his arse. Don't judge me or other 40 yr old women out there for having children and previous marriages, you don't know what happened in those marriages and you certaintly don't know me. You're that typical stereotype that most likely never got the grown up speech and still party and run the streets at night. It's ok, I get it, at some point you'll be alone and trust me, some 20 yr old gal will not want your tire mid section, balding, hair on the back self. What a jerk!

Margie link

8/4/2012 07:52:00 am

Sam.... You are wrong!! Sorry, but it's true!! Everyday, I made sure I looked nice for my Sweetie and greeted him as he was approaching the door! Clean house, good cooking... all of it. Oh, and joyfully available whenever he wanted, only to find out that the reason he was leaving so early every morning, was to meet up with his girlfriend....the same one that called herself MY friend. Before we were even divorced, he told me he still wanted to date me...AS IF

We divorced, he married her, now they are divorced!!

Carlalala

7/19/2012 05:26:30 pm

Cheers to you!!!! Love the house and would totally buy it if possible. (the decor is awesome) Hang in there and best wishes to your family <3 And I may be getting a magnet.... I'm a collector and that's so oddly random (even though it sucks how it came to be... but yeah)

Brian

7/20/2012 04:22:30 am

Hi,

Just read about your situation. I'm sorry about what you've went through with your husband, but I'm even more sorry about the negative comments you're receiving from internet idiots.

Your grace under pressure and sense of humor are inspiring--you are amazing! But somewhere deep inside, I'm sure you have anger. For the sake of your beautiful children, make sure you are able to deal with it at some point.

You are loved in the world =)

Brian

misstreated

7/20/2012 07:32:48 am

I have been scorned and have not learned of him cheating but probably has and he is a douche who talks about my weight calling me fatty, ugly, bitch, cunt you name it and I mothered our two year old beautiful baby girl. I have had two kids, I work and take care of them and take them to daycare while he mooches off me and degrades me and cant even clean the house while he sits jobless. Its not just that but HE has gotten bigger. I never once talked about his weight and finally said something and I Felt aweful stooping down to his level since I am not that type of person. I accept my weight I am not perfect, I would rather be happy, a tad on the chubbier side and a single mother of my two great kiddo's then deal with the unhappiness he puts me in and elle your strength gave me courage and I just told the jerk to pack his stuff up today and get out.Your cleaver, smart and inspirational. I am sorry this is happenign to you and your family but its probably for the best now you can focus on your children and not some guy who does not deserve your attention -I almost wish he did leave me for someone else so he could be their problem now LOL I hope he is gone when I get home from work :)

Jason

10/5/2012 02:04:34 am

Good for you! I hope he was gone when you got home from work too!

I do not understand how guys like this can talk to the mother of their children like this. Leave him. There ARE plenty of nice guys out there that will love you chubby and never say anything negative to you.

Lee B.

7/20/2012 11:30:26 am

Speaking as a coach who is an athletic size four, anyone who judges you (or others) on size or weight gain is full of it and should be sentenced to several of my interval training classes back to back. Sorry about the split; hope things get better!

donna adams

7/20/2012 05:02:51 pm

if you are still even reading comments, hey there. for the love of god, do not give a rat's ass what some fuckwads think or type about you, much less your size. while i'm giving advice, i wouldn't even bother responding to any negative shit, they are the ones reading about you, if they don't like it they can go back to youporn.com and their 35 friends on facebook. bwahahaha!

Angela

7/20/2012 11:58:16 pm

You are hilarious...a very strong woman who is SO obviously NOT defined by anything but you're personality...not the ex, not the weight...

Let me tell you something...I speak from tons of experience, I'm 38, married twice, three kids in total. Yoga Lady will bore of him. It's fun to be 22! You know everything and you still believe in Disney Princesses, where everything works out.

22 year old is soon going to have to take care of your kids every other weekend. Have fun with that, right? Your husband is ALWAYS going to have you in his life and she is not going to be able to handle that.

I know you don't care for revenge, I'm just saying 10 years down the road you will be completely doing your own thing...probably remarried if you so choose that road, or maybe being single is the thing for you...but you will be into your own, you're going to have everything running like a well oiled machine...and he is going to be a hot mess, and super jealous of you...because no matter what you look like...you obviously are going to have it all together and he is SO NOT!

You grew up...he didn't. Keep up the journey into adulthood, if you want to date, date guys who aren't in college like your ex lol...

When I got divorced I had two kids, a low paying teaching job, and all of HIS debt. I figured out how to singlehandedly raise a 10 month old and a 3 year old, work full time, pay off his crap...

And I worked my way up to a very good paying job, paid off every debt, saved a ton of money, all with no child support (until three years ago) and also three years ago I remarried a man who was way more like me (and grown up, too) and we together moved into a beautiful home, had a baby together, and we have no debt/everything our kids need and we're happy.

My ex? Well, just got his trailer foreclosed on and thrown in a landfill ROTFLMAO and he jumps from low paying job to low paying job, barely has a car and not much to eat, etc...he never grew up. Still. And he tells my kids "mommy is rich because she has sex with a rich guy".

We're not rich. My husband isn't rich. We're smart. And we're adults. We grew up.

I don't need to tell you this...you're obviously on the track to real happiness...which you will realize one day that your life had sad moments that will bring you to the best moments you never realized were possible.

And forget about keeping up with weight loss with kids...OMG I'm busting my butt and it's literally impossible! You just try your best and that's all you can do =)

Salish

7/21/2012 06:02:20 pm

Elle,

Do you know how many people you've helped just by getting your story out there, and with humor and grace? Add one more to the list. My fiance left me for a 20-yr-old (and he's 40 fer cryin' out loud) -- and at ten months on, I'm only now beginning to feel "myself" again. The tears don't come every day, the dark clouds lift for longer and longer periods of time. Time heals. And so does realizing we're in this together. So reading your story, and the similar stories of the men and women posting here, is awesomely helpful.

As for my sad tale, this girl dumped him two weeks after their big reveal, and a grand total of 48 hours after I got on a plane and got the hell out of Dodge. Instant Karma, indeed, and while it did boost my spirits for a few weeks, it did nothing to dull the deep pain of the rejection. Really -- it's all about TIME, and living life on a day to day basis. And time passes as it must, and we get just a smidgen stronger every day. I like that. :)

Do your best to ignore the trolls here and on other sites. I've been on the web for ages and they are legion. They'll come out at the first sign of a vulnerable person. For some unfathomable reason, spewing negativity soothes their pain and self-hatred for a little while, and that's why they're so damned mean. So the internet has been a boon for buffoons. (And all their "size" talk is laughable. For the record, I'm a size 6. When it comes to cheating, let me borrow a phrase: Size Doesn't Matter.) Focus on all the folk here who've complimented you, laughed at your wit, admired your moxie. We outnumber the trolls by far. You've got charisma, baby, and the ability to communicate difficult and raw emotions in a way that touches a hell of a lot of people. KEEP it up!

In the meantime, I'm going to buy myself one of those fridge magnets.

:D

*HUGS* -- (from another Portlander!)

Jewel

8/4/2012 04:59:54 am

Elle: You are truly beautiful inside and out and I hope you don't ever lose sight of that. I'm sorry for the circumstances of your story but admire that you have the strength and humor to get through it. Ignore the negative creeps who have responded to your blog and draw strength from all the positive ones instead. Know that you are an inspiration ... and you go girl! :)

Dianne link

8/4/2012 07:28:43 am

Elle, This is a great blog!! Very brave of you and I think this will be very valuable in the healing process...not only for you, but for all these other wounded sisters. You have given them, not only a place to release some of their pain, but you have given them permission, and hopefully permission to laugh again!!

I also went throught this, in addition, because he had all the money, he managed to get custody of my 4 sons! That was a death blow - I thought I would never recover! (how he did that is a very long involved story, but completely undeserved and shocking to everyone who knew us). I only tell that to say this: Whoever you are, whatever you are going through, there are people who care and understand your pain; And a God who will get you through it!! Be Brave!!!!

Justanotherburntwoman

8/4/2012 10:41:09 am

Hi Elle,
When we got married, I was the main breadwinner and supported my husband and put him through school. He wanted to move to the Midwest, so I said goodbye to my family and moved with him and became a stay-at home mom to our two beautiful daughters. He left after 18 years. When I asked him how I could survive w/o any current work skills he laughed and said "Go work at McDonald's". A month after he moved out, he introduced my children to his "new" girlfriend/co-worker. They moved into together as soon as the divorce was final and got married six months after (our state stipulates that you have to wait six months). I borrowed money from my parents, got a job and worked my ass off for the last eight years being a single mom. I thought I had forgiven him and moved on, but now I found out he told my daughters that the reason he left was because I was having the affair. My oldest daughter believes me but my youngest has chosen to believe her dad. My heart is breaking all over again and I hate him so much.

marie

8/4/2012 01:44:46 pm

Never go back to him when he get kicked by his 22 year old. He is an idiot and very soon he will find out and you will be laughing about it. My best wishes to you all. You will find someone else that will love you and respect you.

immobilienmakler münchen link

8/13/2012 05:46:21 pm

I was shocked after seeing more than 800 comments, but after reading your blog, I must say that you deserve it. Keep writing and post more interesting blogs in the future.

harford

9/11/2012 01:42:21 am

be strong , remember to love el captain in spite of...keep the faith that god will provide you with a man who loves you.. now its time to work on you, use this as motivation to get yourself together mentally,physically...so when the new man comes along you wont have any baggage in your heart and you can recieve him in love...

Kay H link

4/19/2013 12:29:47 am

I want to put a sign on my front yard now. My husband cheated on me and we're probably going to be forced to sell our house (although my husband things otherwise... Really, because we have so much disposable income that we can float two households? Rigghhhhht.) I am overweight and one of the reasons that he gave for having his divorce is that I don't eat healthy and exercise. He's the cook in our family, I eat what he puts on the table. I do enjoy a few additional cookies but is that a reason to f_ck someone else for over a year.... He actually outlined his reasons for the affair in a PowerPoint. (I didn't include the part about doing it because I'm overweight, that's just ridiculous.)
http://dowehavetotellthekids.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-beauty-of-powerpoint.html

vicky will

8/22/2013 03:07:12 pm

Thanks to this great man dr oshogum who help me restore my love and achieve my heart desire emotionally.
i Vicky will a medical doctor by profession I AM FROM AUSTRALIA, have be single for the past 4 years after i lost my husband to another woman when i was three month pregnant of our third child and that time my house rent was one week to expire and there was no body to run to.
To me, having a man that will suit me, love me again and a man of enviable class was like a dream i can never achieve. But on July 30th 2013 when i meet the ANOINTED DR OSHOGUM on this site, i sent him a mail which consist of my problems.. he replied me with the necessary things he need me to do to help solve my problems with no effect. then i was very broke, there was no money with me to get the items but have to run to a friend who help me with the money. so, two days after the spell was cast off me behold my husband call me, he plead for forgiveness. now i am healed by his power and i remarried to a well known man of my choice.
i strongly believe that, this is your time to testify, achieve all what you want and have the man or woman that you desire only with the help of DR oshogum
CONTACT HIM NOW VIA

[email protected] OR call him with
+2348189075265

CONTACT HIM NOW VIA

[email protected] OR call him with
+2348189075265 posted by Vicky will

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Elle Zober

Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!

You can see some of Elle's photography at:
http://www.zoberimages.com/

SITE DISCLAIMER/
POINTS OF FACT:
El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them. :)
The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs. PERIOD.
This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this might be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

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