Here it is: the 'elephant' in the room... or rather, the one that HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS of people on the internet want to say I am.... lol
I just wanted to share you with this wee nugget of wonderful humanity that arrived in my voicemail box two days ago. (It's that box to the RIGHT - click and listen if you dare!)
First and foremost.... El Capitan and I did not *ever* discuss my figure in terms of it being an "issue" in our marriage, or an "issue" between us. For the record, I have not gained 100 - 250 pounds.... I am not currently booking two seats on a plane, nor am I sewing together two pairs of pants to make one nor wearing circus tents for dresses.
Like *most* women - from size 2 to size 22, I have always struggled with my weight .... El Capitan was no stranger to my desire to be healthier. Like many families we would make the usual life changes for our family - eating more greens, eating out less, cutting back on sugar or soda, etc. As with *most* families these plans for healthy excellence would be thwarted by him working AT LEAST 50 hours a week and my running three small businesses and raising the children, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, keeping up with play dates.... etc. It just never seemed to leave enough time to go to the gym. (Also, my house was never spotless nor the laundry always done and folded .... just sayin'.)
Oh, and the Gym? Well, yes, we *have* a gym membership. I refer to it as my own personal "fat tax" - it's the money I pay every month for a place I never manage to step foot in despite all my good, honest and true intentions.
So, it's a fat tax. lol
El Capitan was familiar with my struggles on that front... but I have to be true and honest and tell you that he ended every day by giving me a kiss and telling me I was beautiful. He never judged me on my weight......Sometimes, people do what they do for their own reasons - even in a marriage - and sometimes those reasons have little to do with the important people around us.
As far my "love" for malt liquor and cigarettes... that's hilarious. I've never had a whole beer in my entire life ... by that - I mean to say that if you took alllll the alcohol I've consumed in my life, it wouldn't make a full pint, and I don't smoke.
I do, however, love pasta and rice and donuts and bread... and allll those yummy things that *should* be healthy for us but are NOT. Ok, maybe not healthy donuts - but it's so damn unfair that pasta in all its creamy curly, straight, and multi-colored forms should be BAD FOR US! And RICE - really RICE? How can that be bad for me!?!?! aaack!
Now, the man who posted that I need to put down the Twinkies *might* have a point because, if I'm being truly honest, I do love a good Twinkie, but who doesn't? However, like most people I only love them one at a time, not a box at a time.... hahahaha
So those wanting to partake in a Twinkie/booze/cigy intervention can have a seat... what I need a life/getting organized/making time for myself Intervention.
Finally, there seems to be a growing crowd of people who think because I laugh and giggle nervously through interviews, that I SOUGHT this attention, that I find it all sooo hilarious. So, I wanted to post a small window in the reality of about ... 20% of the calls I get? and about 10% of the email I get. They are laced with compliments and niceties that The Man's Voicemail is.
I laugh because, again, my size or people's comments on it don't define me. They aren't going to make me sad because I can do something about my size... people who use this opportunity to make their own vicious,insult laced commentary will have to work a lot harder to change their hearts and I only have to go the gym.
In a country were children are KILLING THEMSELVES because they are bullied for being gay or wearing the wrong clothes or whatever the h*ll it is that is being said to them ON THE INTERNET by their own peers that drives them to hanging themselves in their bedrooms because they just. can't. take. it. anymore. - when do we stop and realize that being a bully is a LEARNED behavior?1 Children learn it from their parents... so while we're all talking about the well being of *my* children - what about the well being of the children of this man? Assuming any woman actually procreated with him... what has he taught HIS children? What kind of loving example for humankind has he taught them?
We can try to save ourselves from Global Warming one recylced Coke can at a time... but we can also save ourselves from being a planet of a**holes by setting a different example for our kids.
that is all......
PS. I am amused by the assumption that El Capitan is obviously the peak of health .... right? (Mind you, he's a good lookin' fella, or at least Yoga Girl and I both thought he was.... hahahaha)
PPS... I know I said I would write the story of El Capitan and I ... but this was just weighing on my heart.
PPPS.... If the man had said, "Wow, you seem like a nice lady with a good heart and it occurs to me that your current weight might pose a health risk to you life and I want to help you carve out a healtheir lifestyle if you are interested....." - THAT is a person is actually "concerned" about me. :)
Click on the PLAY
arrow to listen.
Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
You can see some of Elle's photography at: