You, My Dear.... Have a Face for Radio.... hahaha

7/18/2012

Wow. First and foremost... WOW.

I'm so totally stunned by how kind everyone has been. I have to admit, even with my sense of humor, the first few days of alllllllll the comments about how any man would leave "Shamu the whale" was starting to get pretty old..... do these men not know they would drive me yet MORE donuts?!?! (kidding... they didn't. lol)

So, a day of posts that were *mostly* super awesome was.... just pure amazing.

I'm struck and humbled by your honesty and, really, you only have to look over the 700 heart-felt posts to see a collective of stories that is truly the backbone of being a Mother in today's world. All these women faced so many different, awful, horrible circumstances and regardless of their size, color or age they are tied together by a bond of shared pain and the ultimate desire to move the eff on. (Can I say that here.....? Too soon? lol)

I just want to say thank you..... I really wanted to respond to every single post, because I actually did read every last one (even the crappy "you're a fatty" ones... lol) - but there just isn't enough time in the day right now. :(

El Capitan and I aren't sure what to make of this media storm - I feel a bit like Dorothy and the wicked witch (also know by some posters as Yoga Witch) spun this house up good and now it's being tossed around this Media Tornado and we're just not sure where it's going to land.... guess we'll have to wait and see.

Tonight, the Media Tornado took me to the satellite doorstep of Dr. Drew. DR. FREAKIN DREW!!!! Can you believe that?!?!?! When I was a kid we used to spend summers at my Grandma's and I was a TOTAL Love Line listener! Dr. Drew... oh many night I lay awake listening to you and Adam Corolla.... tonight, I did NOT do enough listening and did faaaaar too much giggling..... haha.

I do worry that people will think that I find the affair or the divorce funny". Rest assured, I find El Capitan's affair about as humorous as mouth herpes (which thankfully I don't have) and the divorce felt like some ripped out my insides through my ears..... but, I do kind of find this whole Media Tornado funny. Why the hell does anyone care what I think? (and crowds of overweight men sitting in their tighty-whitey's nod in unison while they wipe off their orange Doritos fingers onto their Mother's couch.) Even still.... it feels oddly good to share.....

Believe me when I tell you that I put a sign in my yard to SELL MY HOUSE. The magnets were something my Mom insisted on for her friends (so she could mail them out) and then my friends wanted some... and then a few friends insisted that at least I put up the magnets just for fun.. I wondered if people wouldn't feel betrayed somehow? Mind you... I'm about as smart as a box of rocks if I hatched a plan to pay off my house with magnets that are $5.00 each. lol.... Still, some people accuse me of that and that just is NOT the case.

It's really important to me, after so many people have trusted me with their inner most hours of emotional pain that people don't think I would trade that for $5.00. Anyone who actually *knows* me, knows that I'm really crap at getting "paid". In my own business I do TONS of work for free or for heavy discounts because of different clients circumstances.... but my clients are RAD. All of them, they do amazing things for me and what they bring to my life is often faaaar more valuable than money. :) (and then a few of them are pains in the ass,... but they know who they are! hahahahaha)

Those same friends are insisting I write a blog....

So, share I shall!!!! At least until no one is visiting this blog anymore... All the judgment that happens over my marriage and my life and my choices and my parenting!?!?! I feel like it would be good to get the whole story out there.... so tomorrow I will start at the beginning..... see you there! You can read about how El Capitan barfed all over himself and yet it was still the most romantic night of my life and I kissed him anyway... barf breath and all...... (or not... because you might have gone back to reading about Tom and Katie - lol)

Thanks for reading. :)

26 Comments

Geneva link

7/18/2012 04:22:11 pm

I think you have a beautiful face :)

Alicia Davis

7/18/2012 08:38:49 pm

Those whom posted that any "man" would leave Shamoo is wrong. A MAN would not leave his wife if she was over weight. Because he sees her for her inner beauty. Her outer beauty is just a bonus. And since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no one has any right to judge your weight.

Karen S

7/19/2012 05:07:09 am

Best of luck Elle. Once again another been there had that happen moment as well. It has been 19 years for me and while it was devastating and all consumming while I was going through it. I realized that my life was not over and it was up to me to start again. This time to make my life and that of my children the best life imaginable. We did!! My sense of humour was my mainstay and slowly over time we found our way back to a wonderful life. You and your children will as well. Keep smilin

Cornellian

7/18/2012 08:44:37 pm

You go girl!
When life hands you lemons ... make lemonade!

Alicia Davis

7/18/2012 08:44:40 pm

I would also like to say your husband didn't leave you because of your weight, he left you because he was being selfish & self centered. He was only thinking of what he wanted. My guess is, his relationship with the 22 yr old won't last.

Sheryl Watson

7/18/2012 10:06:41 pm

I know exactly how you feel. My husband of 25 years did the exact same thing. I have had to work 3 jobs to keep me and my girls afloat. It ws the darkest time in my life. I wanted to just lay down and stop breathing. But for the grace of God and my friends and family and most importantly my 2 girls, I kept getting up everyday and moving ahead. But let me just say to you...You will be surprised at the woman you really are. You can now begin to find out who YOU are. He will be the one left in the wind with a teenager for a girlfriend that will undoubtlly leave him for another man before too long. You will be the winner in this situation. I promise!! Keep God in your life, continue to set good examples for your children and you will be amazed at what YOU were missing! Send that girl a thank you card honey!

Conjovi

7/18/2012 11:16:03 pm

I hope this helps you get your house sold so that you can move on with the next phase of your life.

Hillary Jackson

7/18/2012 11:22:12 pm

Hey - Just heard you on the Jack Diamond Morning Show here in DC (and hadn't known anything about your story beforehand) and I feel compelled to tell you that YOU ARE AWESOME! Your kids are so lucky to have you to look up to. Be proud of yourself and stay happy and positive -- it's just so refreshing.

Donkeywrangler

7/19/2012 12:05:52 am

Keep on keepin' on, Lovely! You're doing fine! I wish you...and El Capitan...the very best.

Don't mind those horrible comments...aren't you glad you aren't THAT bitter and scorned that you have to go onto websites and make nasty comments!

I'm not in the market, but I'll be back!

All the way from Texas,
Donkeywrangler

Jenn H.

7/19/2012 12:13:36 am

I'm seriously impressed by how awesome you are. (And by how the fact that there are people stupid enough to think bringing in the snark is at all clever. Just ignore those idiots.)

Lou

7/19/2012 12:20:13 am

Elle,

I am so sorry to hear of what your husband did to you, and I applaud your resilience. There is never a good reason to cheat. I am divorced, and went through hell in my marriage, but never cheated. I wish you, and your children, all the very best. For whatever it's worth, gaining weight is not a valid reason to cheat or leave a spouse...on either partner's side. I've always said that if my wife gained weight from having my children, I would love her all the more for it. Your ex doesn't deserve you. I hope you find a man that does. Hopefully you can turn your tragedy into opportunity, financially at least. Best wishes to you and your children.

marie

7/19/2012 01:06:55 am

My husband cheated on me for 2 years with a married 40year old he met on FB. She never worked a day in her life and doesn't have any children...so she had nothing to do but stalk men on FB all day My son is in college and we are not in a position to sell our house right now so we are in a very shaky reconciliation. He's been caught sexting with her several times and the pain he caused our family is incredible. He claims it's not like before because he has been with her since last year. I admire your courage and wish I had your strength. Your ex isn't worthy of you. Wishing you all the happiness and love you deserve.

Kiki

7/19/2012 01:49:00 am

I just ordered my magnet!!! :o)

MomToo

7/19/2012 01:52:05 am

Elle, I think you're gorgeous. And funny as hell, which is more important.

I gained well over 100 pounds during a 20 year marriage. Ending the marriage was the best thing for me. I lost most of the weight, over time, and discovered that I (heavy or not), I'm actually a pretty cool person. Ending that marriage was the best thing I ever did for myself.

I had a few very difficult years, but I came through it, very well. And you will, too. You're obviously very intelligent, very wise, generous, giving, and lovely. I would avoid the prisoner, but maybe call the guy from the DC radio show and ask him out. He seemed to like you. heh

Kim

7/19/2012 02:14:03 am

You are HILARIOUS! I hope you make LOTS of money from your obviously great sense of humor and talented writing skills. Leave him in your dust!!!!!!

emma

7/19/2012 02:35:41 am

oh my. you are so pretty! I saw a few nasty comments and you know... curiosity led me to do a google image search. I don't know what I was expecting but I have to say you are so beautiful. After reading your (well I guess it's now a blog) you seem even more beautiful. I too have gone through something very simular. It can be worse than the death of a loved one. I know you are geiving. both for the past and for the future. I didn't find all the negative comments about my ex that helpful. Clearly he was all the things they said he was and more. But I was also not perfect. It was not my fault and as much as I was not perfect I did not seek someone else and turn everything inside out either. What my friends and family could not get was that even through all of the hurt anger and betrayal, I still loved him. I could not be with him any longer. Even when he came crawling back a year later, I could not go there. I thought about it though. That I even considered it was horrible to my people. It's a very complex thing. Anyway I am sorry. I didn't want to post to write my whole story. I wanted to say you seem beautiful. You seem very strong. I know a lot of that must be faking it, but like you say if you fake it long enough, it becomes your reality. I also wanted to say that it is ok for you to feel love for him. you shared many years together and will always share your children. Yoga witch may be in his life for a long time but I doubt it. Either way, as much as it is natural to despise her truly this is not her fault. No question there is a lack of morals but beyond that, she didn't owe you anything. He did. He made the vows and broke them. She did not. I often wonder why these younger girls think it will be different for them. If he is willing to have an affair with her and break his family, then why would she feel confident that when she ages a decade the same won't happen to her? At least she gets a clear warning. you will get through this. and years from now you will think of this as a screwed up blessing. hard to imagine it when you are in the middle of it but your life can only get better. I would never have met my wonderful second husband if I hadn't left the first. I never knew love could be thus good. We are 8 years and three kids into this and I would never go back. And for the time in between my marriages I did so much growing and searching. I learned to love myself and that is worth more than you can get from anyone else. I bet a blog could turn into a decent revenue for you. A great option for someone as creative and artistic as you.

Angie White

7/19/2012 02:50:54 am

I have looked over your entire website and I would like to applaud you for thinking outside of the box and moving forward gracefully. I wish you all the best. All the way from Nashville, TN... :)

shawn

7/19/2012 03:25:56 am

Don't worry Honey that 22yr old will have your ex husband in soooo much debt by the time she's 30(if she hangs around that long) until his social security check will only cover the depends he'll need when she dumps him for his younger male caregiver.

Wishing you the best with the sale of your home. Hopefully you'll make a little extra to treat yourself to a nice vacation

Amanda

7/19/2012 03:53:38 am

I want to send you a BIG shout out all the way from Alberta, Canada. While at my desk this morning reading the local newspaper, I came across your article. I immediately shared the humor with my co-workers and later checked out the website. I think what you have done is hilarious, courageous and just plain genious. I just want to say Girl, you got balls!! lol and I hope you sell your beautiful and unique home. I also wish you well in the future and keep up the amazing attitude you have, given where you stand right now in your life. I am only 22 years old and I hope that if I ever encounter such a situation at any point in my life, I will have the confidence and strength to deal with it the way you have. Given any nasty comments you have recieved, your a strong woman and though i have no idea what you look like, you are a beautiful woman. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Megan

7/19/2012 04:18:57 am

I find this... all of this and you absolutely.... Amazing. Fantastic. You are a very strong and amazing woman. Continue life :) Good luck!

~Georgia~

Sandra Caggiano

7/19/2012 05:13:31 am

he's didn't leave because of your weight, he's a selfish, lying bastard that was looking for a 'woman' younger than himself because those that are younger really don't know much about life, marriage or sacrifice. Younger women believe anything the lying cheater will tell him, believe me been there and he's done that.

They deserve each other, and just imagine if you stayed with him, how wonderful would life really be?

JulieJules

7/19/2012 05:14:22 am

Elle - we have all "been there, done that" at one time or another and some stories include more war wounds than others but, know this, when this is all said and done (and it WILL be some day!), you will come out of this more empowered than you ever imagined. I went thru my mess several years ago and, to this day, I truly believe it made me a better woman - NO ONE will ever treat me that way again...EVER! :-)

Even though I don't know you, I can tell by your website and blog that you are an amazing, creative, STRONG woman. I also think that El Captain will realize the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence soon enough. And when he does, I hope you are loooooong gone (or, better yet, enjoying your grass with someone who is deserving of someone as awesome as you!).

BIIIIIIIIIIIIG HUG

Sanna link

7/19/2012 07:58:10 am

Oh, I so hope you stick with blogging. I love bloggers with a good sense of humor, and clearly you have that in spades!

Donna

7/19/2012 09:11:45 am

Heard you on the radio in DC this morning. I must commend you for the way you're handling the situation w/your husband - that for sale sign is very innovative, creative. I'm not sure I could have handled it like you are if I was in your position. Still going through therapy w/hubby after I caught him in email correspondence w/a former girlfriend who felt she needed to send porno pix to him (which I found). To exact revenge is hard to shake.

Toss

7/20/2012 12:13:38 am

Elle,
People talk about it being weight, etc. Funny thing is, ITS NOT YOU! We both know that. *He* made his choice. That is on him not you. Yes, a marriage takes 2, but his choice should have been to talk to you, but ... well, it wasn't. God bless you and although you are doing great at not sounding bitter and its sounds like you are doing great at holding yourself together, single parenting is difficult. Remember to take a deep breath when you want to fall apart on those most difficult days in the days, months, and years to come.

BR link

7/20/2012 10:54:08 pm

Uh, sweetie. Dr. Freakin' Drew is an Internist. Not a therapist.

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Elle Zober

Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!

You can see some of Elle's photography at:
http://www.zoberimages.com/

SITE DISCLAIMER/
POINTS OF FACT:
El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them. :)
The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs. PERIOD.
This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this might be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

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