Yes.... you read that right.
It was the *planned* meeting we had written up in our divorce papers... and it wasn't something I had prepped The Boy for... but perhaps that was for the best?
Before I ever filed the first paperwork, we agreed that "before any romantic interest, casual or otherwise, meets the children all adult parties will meet over dinner to discuss and agree upon a parenting plan and discipline style."
Well... that didn't happen. lol
I have to admit I'm more than slightly disappointed by that. That something we agreed on as *parents* didn't get followed on.... sigh. Supposedly it was an "accidental" thing.... she kind of showed up where they were... fair enough.
All of that aside.... The Boy like meeting her. He was super cute about it - putting his hand to the side of his mouth and whisper talking to me that.... "you know what, Mom - she was kind of nice..... she didn't hit me or anything....."
I don't know *why* he thought she might hit him.... strange that. lol The eight year old mind is a crazy thing sometimes... I have certainly never said or suggested such a thing... and since I don't hit him, nor does El Capitan...... I don't know. I addressed that right away and assured him that Yoga Girl would never "hit" him, nor should he be worried about such a thing.
He told me what they talked about - and he said that she seemed really nice.... and his voice raised in excitement when he told me about her. The Boy was happy.
So I raised my voice right back and told him how glad I was that he got to meet her and how excited I was to hear that she's nice....and that I was super glad that he was so excited.
And then he walked out of the room. One year of our life in the making.... and it was over in 2 minutes. It's certainly better than fireworks and insanity... so I'll take it.
It isn't what I wanted... it isn't what I had been hoping for as a parent... but tolerance. Tolerance and accepting that while it wasn't how I wanted it to go down- it was positive for The Boy and that's what matters most.
So..... THIS WEEK... is the week. Yoga Girl, El Capitan and I are sitting down for dinner.
Yup. You read that right: dinner.
I know lots of people thought that Yoga Girl wouldn't do it... but kind of knew she would. If you have read The Book, then you know that she *willingly* talked to me two times. She was honest - she didn't hang up... I may not have liked what she said or how she said it - BUT - she was woman enough and bold enough to talk to me and that went a long way with me.
I knew that that same girl would sit down with me eventually.
And I was right.
I have to assume that Yoga Girl has a limited knowledge about what "attachment parenting" is - and how to implement it. I can only assume that she won't know what is and is not appropriate discipline for our children - and I think it's important to give her those tools before something goes wrong.
You can't expect her to know how I parent - or how she should 'co-parent' the children without any kind of information given to her beforehand. I don't want her to fail..... I want her to do well. I want her to bond with the children and for them to trust her. It's really what is in their best interest.....
And - irregardless of the decisions that were made that got us all here in the first place - I hold out hope that the woman bold enough to deal with me on the phone .... is the kinds of person who will step up and be a good co-parent.... and you know what.......?
I actually kind of think she'll do it.
It's one thing to hold people accountable for what they've done... clearly: I'm all for that.
However.... once that's done it's done and you have to find a way to view this person through "new" eyes - and.... with tolerance and respect for the role she has in their Father's life. As such... there has to be a .... clean slate where we can all start again, getting to know not only each other- but how we'll work together as a unit for the benefit of the kids.
Many said she'd never meet me..... I'm guessing she'll prove everyone wrong again.
For the kids sake: I f*cking hope she does! :)
ps.... hello and welcome to someone who is most likely, probably - reading this blog for the first time at 5 am today... hahahahaha :)