Hmm..... so it's been a few weeks since I blogged... man, I wish I had more time.
In any case, you won't be at all mothertrucking surprised to find out that the (as per usual) life's high-five finding the sexiest Boyfriend in town was quickly followed by a not-so-sexy "high five" of sorts to the back of my Mazda 5.
Do you remember this vehicle....?
That "dream car" that I just *had* to have... and have since grown to have a love/hate relationship with in the last five years since we bought it.....?
Yeah.. that one.
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However.... as you can see.... Spring Break started with a bang.
The absolute most wrong kind of 'bang'....
The kids and I were heading into PDX to go to lunch with Miss Welen.
The highway was stop and go, which it almost always is.... and sadly for us, I was stopping while the guy behind me was still going... and going rather fast at that.....
I thought he had time and distance to slow down.... so at first I wasn't worried.
Then I watched him try to swerve into the other lane.... but it was also stopped.
Then I watched his front end hop as he slammed on his brakes....
With nowhere to go and only a half-a-foot between us and the concrete wall that separates west bound traffic going 50mph....
I had read somewhere that when someone say's "I love you"... that the brain releases endorphins upon hearing it which help you relax.
So. I gripped the wheel with my tires straight.
I stepped down on my brake.
I watched in the rear-view mirror as his front end hopped and I said.... "hey guys....I love you!"
We were rear-ended by a giant ass truck going at least 40mph or more .....
I grabbed my phone and immediately took a picture out my back window - in case the driver tried to leave the scene on a busy highway - I thought I would get their car...
However, now having no back window, all I got was a blurry picture of two shocked children.... which is rather heartbreaking and yet pleasing to look at... because crying kids are alive kids: and that's a good start.
I jumped out of my car and took another picture, then I ran to the truck.
The door opened to another family and I asked them if they were "ok"... they said they were.
I said, we're still sitting on a major highway, so lets get off at the next exit and exchange information.
They drove off and I took a few more pictures...
We met at the exit and the man, the driver, looked so sad.
He told me he was sorry and didn't see the stopped traffic and that they were on their way to the Saturday Market in PDX.
Both my kids were still crying, The Boy said his head hurt and The Girl was crying over her wrist.
I was still trying to process what had happened and was nursing a painful left wrist...
Even still... I felt bad.
I felt bad for him that he had made a mistake. A mistake plenty of us make...
And so instead of being upset at him I consoled him.
I told him that 'accidents happen'... that insurance would 'sort it all out' and that in the end.... I kind of had a 'love/hate' relationship with this car and I wasn't all that upset about it being hit.
I mean.. it's a damn mini-van, not someone's prized Corvette.
He already seemed to feel so much guilt and shame.. I felt the need to ease it.
So. We exchange the usual info and I do not, in fact, call the police because we had already left the scene and a rear-end accident is fairly cut and dry....
Or ... is it?
I drove us back to The Bubbie and The Papa who then piled us into their car and drove us to the E.R. Both kids were scanned and checked. The Boy had hit his head on the window and The Girl had gotten her wrist jammed on the arm of the car seat and it was sprained.
I had the usual head/neck/back injuries and a sprained wrist....
Good. Fucking. Times.
Didn't I say Spring Break started with a BANG?
The next day I called my insurance and reported the accident... they offered me a rental car, to which I said that I didn't feel much like driving for a few days and perhaps we could sort that out on Tuesday. No sense in paying for a rental car I won't yet be driving.....
I called El Capitan and told him he needed to come get the kids... I had a splitting headache and I hurt and I needed rest... meanwhile, the kids needed a parent who could be paying attention to their needs and health and so he took them for two days.
I went to stay with The Dutiful Boyfriend who changed out ice bags and pain killers.
Both kids were having nightmares and bedtime issues... both didn't want to ride in a car and they had dug out their die-cast Cars collection and were driving them around the house and crashing them into each other.... clearly they were processing what had happened to us.
I re-surfaced in the world on Tuesday .... only to discover that Mr. I Didn't See The Traffic Stop... wasn't returning phone calls to my agent... or his agent... and also... according to his agent, there was an "insurance question".
Oh... holy crap.
As one might suspect: that's not a good thing.
It's really not a good thing.
On Wednesday The Girl brought me this wee little booklet wrapped in a Frozen napkin. It was all about a Fox whose car gets into an accident and they fix it.... and she said, "we'll all be ok, mommy...."
Well... Mr. Fox is a goddamn liar.
As it turns out.... Mr. I Didn't See The Traffic Stop is also Mr. Didn't Pay His Car Insurance Premium.... That look of worry and concern on his face wasn't the guilt of having hit me... it was him *knowing* that he was handing me a bogus insurance card and that he didn't have coverage.
So... now it all becomes my problem.
I saw a video recently... and it's message was "a simple act of caring creates an endless ripple of kindness".... well, frankly, I'm call BS on that....
All of this is happening during a week when thousands of people donate money to a certain pizzeria all just for having some kind of twisted view that denying a certain group of people wedding pizza makes them righteous and devout Christians (it doesn't imho)..... and is that kind?
IS THAT KIND?
I'm not asking if it's right or something they are entitled too.... I'm asking: is it kind?
Showing someone empathy in the moment that they have made an error which will cost thousands of dollars to fix and be unfair in about a dozen ways.... THAT IS KIND.
Refusing someone your shitty pizza.... it's not kind, but somehow in this backwards country of ours: it's pays.
It pays almost a million dollars!
Where the heck is my "ripple" ....? I don't need $800K... I'd settle for a red Kia hamster car....
I'm such a cheap date.
While I didn't really love the Mazda 5 and all the bullshit I have dealt with in owning it... it *is* the only car we have... and it's rather hard to be a single Mom and get your kids and yourself to school without a vehicle.
In fact... it's impossible.
And... because his insurance was covering fuck-all.... and my policy didn't have rental car coverage: I was, as they say... shit out of luck.
Mind you... one could easily and successfully argue that I have been shit out of luck for a very, very long time... but I digress....
So now I have a deductible for my uninsured motorist coverage.
I have no rental car.... but I was crossing everything by my legs in the hope that they would total out my car and I could go get one of those super CUTE Kia's... you know the one with the cute hamster commercials??? The kids LOVE Those commercials and I thought...well, I can make the car payment (same as the one I have now) and at least we get a fresh start.... so: silver lining.
But again..... S.O.L: they opted to pay the $8,000 in repairs to the Mazda.
So here we are.... three weeks later... the Mazda is still in the shop.
My wrist is still in a brace (except for when I drive because I'm borrowing a friend's car and it has a clutch).
I get no new car.... no clean slate to start over....
On the one hand I should have stayed on the highway (risking further accident and injury) to call the cops so Mr. Doesn't Pay His Insurance Premiums would have gotten a ticket (the LEAST that could have happened to him!).... but instead I was just as worried about him as I was about me.
The only teeny, tiny upside... is that while The Boy is constantly showing me his ability to love others and be kind and be empathetic... this time, I got to see The Girl rise up and show me what she's made of.
She knew I was hurt.
She knew the car was hurt.
She knew I was sad and a bit frustrated and.... for whatever *crazy* reason she had recently made this little book at school to practice reading ....
And she made me a present.
She wrapped that book up in the napkin of Elsa and Ana - her favorite people on the earth.
She chose a book with a message to soothe my worries... in real time.
The Girl showed me empathy.
Best 40th Birthday Present ever.
My Birthday Weekend was a bit of a train-wreck... the new term started and it's been chaos relying on a borrowed car and keeping doctor appointments and such.... and now all the financial responsibility of someone else's mistake becomes mine (*again*).
Most First World Problem of ALL is that in attempting to FIX the damn Mazda they found *more* damage and now the repairs exceed it's value... so I *could* have wound up with a new car ... but didn't.
Instead... I'll (eventually) get my Mazda back with after-market repairs (oh... goody), my wrist will (hopefully) eventually heal... I won't get my 40th Birthday weekend again - but ....
In one very small, but very important to me, victory: The Girl showed me empathy.
Single Mommy Winning...
kind of. lololol