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These Are For You.....

12/7/2012

5 Comments

 
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Today was our last day at The Great Wolf Lodge.  It's a pretty cool set up - you pay for a "one night's stay" at their hotel but you get half of the first day and the second day until 9pm to play at their water park.

The kids were in HEAVEN.  Especially The Girl - it was up the stairs, down the slide, up to the stairs, down the slide - running the entire time.  The Boy  worked on his back float skills and holding his breath under the water. 

We actually had a really great time.  Like - really great.  The Boy was feeling sad, though, for part of the time, because he kept giving me hugs and trying to stay close to me- but in an emotional way, not in a "I'm scared of getting lost from you" kind of way.

The Girl, she was a blast - and keeping up with brother on the holding water stakes -which he was both totally proud of - and then a little jealous at the same time.

They run these great coupons if you get their emails (which I do) so we've only ever gone on their coupon.  Then, once you're there you have to get crafty with the money.  First, you pull off and eat a fast food lunch 30 miles before the exit.  Then you do the slides, and have dinner - the best bet is the pizza - $20.00.  Be sure to bring evening snacks (they have a microwave in each room, and the kids love popcorn!).  You can bring in your own breakfast - then hit the slides, the Magi-Quest games and then at Christmas we usually do the lunch in the Ginger Bread House.

The Ginger Bread House is a fundraiser for The Boys and Girls Club, so you pay $20 and you can actually eat your food inside the little Ginger Bread House.  It's really well done - with a huge roof and covered in gumdrops complete with a fake fireplace inside. 

Then you do more slides and then you can get dinner at the Snack Shack - the kids meals there are really big, so we would get two kids meals and split it between the four of us. 

*That* is how we could afford to go. 

Did El Capitan ever *once* notice?  Did he not ever think.... wow - what a great wife I have that she goes to so many lengths to make sure the kids can go on these fun trips *without* burning up our credit card or using our mortgage money to do it?
Nope.  *sigh*.

Anyhow..... aside from awesome advice - the Grandmother taught me how to stretch a penny into a dollar - and needless to say, I'm always happy to share. lol

We had a GREAT time today.  Slide after slide, game after game, and we even had the money for lunch in the Ginger Bread house - which The Boy was especially excited about.  They were so excited.  I was really proud of the fact that I was able to take them.

At lunch, The Girl drew me this picture.  She said it was a picture of her - not the wolf Violet - but her.  And in the picture she was holding flowers.  Then she said:

Do you know who my flowers are for, Mommy?

So I said.... I don't know?

You Mommy!  Because I love you.

Later I was sitting at the tables and watching them run and scream and play.  Up and down - up and down.  They run up, then come down.  Every time The Boy made it down the slide before her, he would wait - pacing back and forth, watching both slides until The Girl came down. 

The Girl, though, she's come down, jump up and go flying towards the stairs, barely looking for brother who would now be running behind to catch up.  He adores her.  He wants to protect her and watch out for her..... it pisses me off that El Capitan clearly never felt the need to protect us, especially from himself.... but I'm so proud that we've raised The Boy to be a protector. 

Watching them play though, I found myself wondering how El Capitan gave *this* up.  I know that life and being a parent hard.... f*ck, it's gotten twice as hard for me. lol.... but - aside from the puking and the peeing and the snotty noses and homework and time-outs and discipline, there's.... like all this happiness and smiley faces and little hands that wrap their chubby fingers around your cheeks and give you wet sloppy kisses.
They grow up and start talking and telling you about Justin Beiber and 'where do you Bob (our Elf on The Shelf) is hiding right now?'.

The happiness is endless.  It's f*cking endless.
How do you trade that in for a 22 year old and a life that.... frankly: isn't panning out by normal adult standards?

He did.  But I'm really glad I didn't.  I'm really glad that I'm still here.  May be I'm twice as tired, twice as run ragged.... but I'm happier.

Oh.... and a bit thinner as well.  I put on my swimsuit and for a second I thought I put it on wrong - but after a quick investigation - I noticed that it was on, but really loose.  And not all stretched out loose - it's a lovely suit.  But, the butt was saggy and the boobs were too big and there were gaps in the stomach area.  Then I remembered that I was 39 pounds heavier the last time I wore it.

So yeah me.  Still... swimsuits are spendy - so, it was just me, two happy kids and my saggy-baggy swimsuit.  hahaha

It's hard to put on a swimsuit  - I think for any woman.  Even the super hotty ones.  For me, it's always been a bit tough, even when I was thin.  I've always been a one-piece suit kind of girl - and then I always have a nice cover-up as well.  I usually play this game in my head and it goes like this.......:

I'm not as big as........................ HER.

Being my size isn't fun.  I don't think it makes me a bad person, but you don't want to the biggest woman in a large room wearing a swimsuit.  So, I would sit and watch and look and .... pray, that I wasn't the biggest woman there.  Isn't that kind of mean/sad?  I probably shouldn't even admit that.

This time though... still heavy - I was much more in the middle section of woman - heavier than most, not as big as some.  And holy crap.... the MILF to fatty ratio was HUGE.  Everywhere I looked there were these Moms with abs you bounce quarters off of dragging two and three kids.... good grief!  lololol...Good for them I say - no hating or jealousy here.... good for them! 

I have lots of hot friends - super thin, hot Moms.... I know how hard they work to stay fit and I admire them for that... one day I might have time like that... one day.

In the mean time though, today I didn't play the little game in my head, I wasn't so bothered about my size, I didn't spend my time thinking about how I compared to other Moms in my saggy suit - instead I thought how some of them were ragging on their husbands:  baby on one hip, bigger kid pulling on their hand, muttering things to their big chested hubbies about "helping out more".    One Mom was complaining that she was "too tired" to go on more slides and told the kid to go ask their Dad.....

But not me.  There was no one there to 'pick up' any slack.  Just me... and I was happy.  Happy to go one more time.  Happy to climb the stairs and sit in the outside hot-tub in the rain.  Happy to go one more round in the wave pool.  Happy to walk up and back and up and back and down again.  On my own. 

We packed up, drove home, I put them to bed and worked for three hours... then blogged.  Then I'll get to go to bed.  And you know what.... I think I'm pretty f*cking lucky.

Aside from that.... I'm happy.

*************************************
ps.  still no word from El Capitan....... and so my stomach turns.  blech.

5 Comments
Taun-Taun
12/7/2012 12:44:19 am

We went to Great Wolf Lodge last year...So much fun!

You are doing amazing. Two trips on your own...and I have a hard time just taking them to the beach myself. (Although I've been doing that since we started homeschooling).

I am a fearful person...but you make me realize that I *could* handle more than I think I can.

PS...has *anyone* heard from El Capitan?

Reply
Alex
12/7/2012 06:50:50 am

Hi Elle!

That lodge sounds like so much fun. Why can't we have one of those near where I live?!?

Out of curiosity, is there anyone who can go spy on El Capitan and report back to you? (joking on the terminology) Seriously though, is there anyone who can tell you he's at least around and fine and just being the slacking asshole that he is and isn't actually hurt or anything?

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emma
12/7/2012 01:10:02 pm

whenever you finally get to splurdge on yourself check out the swimsuits at modcloth. vintage and awesome.... and in curvy sizes.

Reply
dusty
12/7/2012 09:00:04 pm

You are the lucky one, saggy swimsuit and all!!

Reply
caroline
12/8/2012 07:21:08 am

Oh my, I am so proud of you! I wish I had your enthusiasm for life and your self esteem. You are truly a woman to look up to. You are not weak and have the ability and emotional strength to stand up and do what is right. I admire you! God speed to you and your children. You go girl!!

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    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
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