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The Peanut Gallery..... 

4/9/2013

8 Comments

 
Mary Cooper said:
Ms. Yoga is brave. After being ridiculed on this site so often and she is willing to be civil and has taken an interest in the kids despite your many comments to the contrary. You were wrong and a bit unfair. You owe her an apology.




Hmm...... well, to be blunt... it's a little bit "less willing" and more me "laying down the law" and not giving them much of an option.....

And.... I'm sorry - I'm just ever so slightly confused..... the "children" aren't like a hobby.  They aren't something she get to CHOOSE to have an "interest" in.  That's like... ass backwards.  They were here FIRST. They were part of their Father's life while she was still in freakin' high school.... lolololol

Yoga Girl knew me.  She knew who I was.  She was facebook friends with my husband - she could see our *daily* family life.... and she had an affair with him anyway.  

So, to be totally *fair* - one should never poke a bear unless they are willing to fight for their life.
She poked this bear.
Done.

However.... what *could* have remained between the three of us .... became a National issue with *we* made our sign to sell our house.... and - I *could* have thrown her to the wolves... but I did not.

Several journalists knew who she was - they found her name.  In fact, several of my *blog readers* figured out who she was.... crafty, smart people that they were.... and I protected her identity.  I didn't have to do that.
But I did.

More to the point... *I* never actually sought to harm her at all.  Honestly.

I've certainly had a few things to say about her.... however - while I might have *said* mean things... she *did* a mean thing to someone she didn't know.  She *did* a harmful thing to my children.  Does she not have to own that?

And.... since she *sought* to get my husband to be hers.... does she not realize - and do *you* not realize that the children are a bit of a 'package deal'?  You understand that I can like put them back.... right?  Once those little buggers were here... they were kind of here to stay.

I would assume that any woman who is making out with a married man in a parked car understands that if he leaves his wife - he doesn't get to leave his entire life behind.... he has to take part of it with him.  The biggest part being the children.

Now.  What you're missing, Ms. Cooper... is that I do believe that I was well with-in my womanly rights to voice my opinions about the woman who sucked the bottom right out of my marriage.  I'm certainly not going to apologize for it.

Just like I don't expect her to apologize for what she did.

I have accepted what she did. I have chosen to move past it.
I have chosen to accept her in the role she is now in.

It's a f*ck ton more than many women would do.... *and* - I'm doing it without prejudice.  I'm doing it with open arms and my full support for her in her role not only in dealing with me on a co-parent level... but also with the children.... and you know what - we're not even to our One Year Anniversary, yet.

So... with all due respect Ms. Cooper... I think I've been pretty f*cking nice. lolololol

Also, please not that I was writing *openly* about Yoga Girl doing the right thing.... I could be making up lies or spreading gossip or just not mentioning it.... but instead, I'm giving credit where it's due.  Again.... not a whole lot of people in my shoes would do that.

But here I am:  doing it.

Also..... Yoga Girl is.... a lot like me.  She's mouthy and brash and funny and very, very opinionated   While she didn't have a blog with a huge readership.... she's made her opinions about me known - trust that. lol
And so she should... I have no issue with that.

Going forward however... everyone has to work towards a positive ending - and functional relationships.  If she wants to have a life with El Capitan - she's going to *have* to accept his children not by choice... but because she doesn't *have* a choice. lol  They are already here.

And..... in spite of what I may or may not have written about my own personal feelings and emotions.... our *kids* are ready and willing to have a functional relationship with Yoga Girl BECAUSE OF ME.  El Capitan has refused to acknowledge her existence with them..... but when they asked me - I could have said - "she's a husband stealing wh*re....."  But I did not.

Not even knowing if she woudl be around in 12 months... I knew that the best plan of action from the start with not sandbagging her with the kids so that she could have a relationship with them down the road.

Me... *I* did that.

Again.... I am entitled to my opinion - and free to write it on a blog where NO ONE prints her name... so long as where it really matters - I do the right thing by her.  Which I have.

And now..... she's doing the right thing by the children. 
Good for her.
I hope she proves many people wrong.
The kids would love that.  :)


8 Comments
dusty
4/8/2013 09:44:54 pm

I'm very confused by Ms. Cooper's comments (see previous comment I made). Not quite sure what you were wrong about regarding YG or unfair either. I think you treated her pretty well considering. Look how long EC went without seeing his kids while they were spotted all over town having dinner, etc., would like to know what Ms Cooper thinks about that, have a funny feeling she would side with YG on that one as well. Maybe Ms Cooper knows first hand what a situation like this is like? I think you have handled things beautifully, much better than most would. The only thing you should apologize to YG for is the fact that she gets EC, a man who would leave his family like he did. Of course, there is an old saying "how you get em is how you lose em", time will tell.

Reply
Alex
4/8/2013 10:31:52 pm

Thanks for the reply to Mrs Cooper Elle, you better articulated that than I could have.

Why is the bar so low for Yoga Girl and so high for Elle here Mrs. Cooper that Yoga Girl deserves an apology and a gold star for "accidentally bumping into" the kids? (with or without El Capitan's knowledge or consent, we'll never know)

I had a pretty long opinion I was going to post yesterday and couldn't decide whether or not I should post it, but basically, I came to the same conclusion about Yoga Girl's actions here. She doesn't have a choice about the kids, at least not anymore because El Capitan has actually become more of a father again and is sort of leaving Yoga Girl's world and jumping back into his own and she can either watch or try to follow. But her world, where he stayed *just* with her, doesn't hold the same attraction for him anymore and she's now discovering what it feels like to be blown off for someone else. The best she can hope for now is that she can participate in what she's been being blown off for.

What I find really sad is that it is Elle, not El Capitan, that invited her.

Reply
Scott
4/8/2013 11:07:01 pm

You don't owe YG shit.

Reply
Little Ol' Me in Northern Iowa
4/9/2013 12:07:58 am

Oh Elle, You owe NO ONE an apology, much less Yoga Girl. I can almost 100% guarantee you won't get one from her for having a hand in stealing your husband, or upsetting your kids. Not that he was 100% in the right, but she knew he was married and couldn't stop herself. You are more of a WOMAN then I would be. I would of dragged her name and his name thru the mud. I would've made sure that when they walked down the road that everyone knew he was a cheater! You choose to be the bigger person (and I don't mean that literally) and face it head on without bringing all the pain and evil into it. YOU, my girl, ROCK!!!

Reply
Melissa
4/9/2013 07:23:22 am

You wrote: "I would assume that any woman who is making out with a married man in a parked car understands that if he leaves his wife - he doesn't get to leave his entire life behind.... he has to take part of it with him. The biggest part being the children."

I don't believe your assumption is correct, Elle. Most women making out with a married man in a car, who have the thought that he might one day LEAVE THAT WOMAN FOR HER, well, they're also disillusioned into thinking that he's leaving the entire LIFESTYLE behind; her, and the kids. Because...well, honestly, he doesn't "have to" take part of it with him. He doesn't. He can walk away and have nothing to do with the children again (other than a court-ordered child support check) if he chooses. But he is now choosing not to.

Like Alex said...previously, EC was very much stepping "away" from the children...so for a while I was afraid Yoga Girl was right in her original immature thinking that he'd leave all of you behind for her. As Alex said, she's now coming face-to-face with the fact he DOES want the children in his life. And since they live with you and he has to pick them up from you and interact with you, etc., for some reason she is going along with having dinner with the two of you. I really think that's because EC is making her do it. But I'm not sure WHY he's making her do it--I really figured he'd back out on that whole thing. Because he's pretty selfish, too, and only seemed to care about himself.

This should be interesting.

Reply
Alex
4/9/2013 11:08:16 pm

Oh I don't think El Capitan is "making" Yoga Girl come to the table. She's stampeding towards it unilaterally now that Elle has opened the door.

Let's not forget that El Capitan said outright, multiple times, that he didn't want to introduce them and that how Yoga Girl "got" El Capitan out of his marriage in the first place was making unilateral moves and passivity on his part. He wasn't going to tell his wife about the affair, he only left when it got too uncomfortable for him to stay. How did that happen? Yoga Girl told his wife about the affair. Mystery solved. It wasn't just about "being honest". She made the move he hadn't wanted to do himself. In her mind, this is how she "saved" him. Oy. The more I look at this the more I wonder what he has going n that's worth all this.

Anyway, unilateral moves can get you something, but they don't particularly help you keep it or control it. Yes she saw, *he* came, she conquered. But "keeping" is a bit harder than that and she's seeing it now, but doesn't quite "get" that unilateral moves have diminishing returns.

Even spineless wimps eventually just do whatever the hell they want.

Reply
Romana
4/9/2013 08:00:04 am

Wow Elle! Your goooooood. I could not have given such an intelligent and right on response as that. I told you this blog keeps getting better all the time.

Reply
Jen
4/9/2013 10:23:12 am

Ditto to everyone above.

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