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The New Kidd in Town.......

3/19/2013

3 Comments

 
We moved around quite a bit when I was younger, so while I don't I was ever very good at being the 'new kid', I certainly had a freakin' ton of practice.

Starting over at 37..... in *so* many ways:   I'm the new kidd.

I'm not afraid of that, but that doesn't mean that it isn't hard.  All of my friends are married - in pairs, in sets of two.... and let's face it:  there's a reason Noah didn't load up the Arc with singles - then it just would have been The Love Boat. hahahaha

In all seriousness - being the single person in a room changes the vibe just a little - it changes the aura of the room.  I no longer fit in nicely with another pair at the dinner table - now I'm seated next to the chair that holds the extra coats and handbags and .... junk.

Party of two:  Me plus the junk.
Awesome. lol

OK..... it's not *usually* that bad - but you get the idea.  Being along in a room full of paired off people can have challenges you never anticipated.  I know all these people- I know who they are, what they like, and we have stuff we can talk about.... but they can all stand side by side while I stand:  alone.  So there is a connection but it ends with me.  

Most of the time I don't mind being alone.... I have the kids and teaching and the gym and a pretty busy life, which I *really* enjoy.... but I have to admit, going home alone all the time does wear ya' down a bit. lol

Mind you - I'm not about to settle for the wrong person just to have a "person".  Know what I mean?  It's better to be alone that be with the wrong person.  It's easier to be strong along - then recover in emotional weakness when things don't work out.

I'm a wuss:  I like easy. hahahaha

Alex (blog reader) asked me months ago what my "perfect partner" would be.... so here goes:

Strong - but more in mind and spirit, I can pretty much arm wrestle (and win) almost every guy I ever dated.... so I can hold my own in a decent bar fight.  However, someone who is strong of mind and spirit will be a strength to our whole family unit - that would be important.

Funny - I need to laugh.  lolololol.  Seriously.  Kids bleeding into their own eyes, allergies to pink glow bracelets, going blind in both eyes.... my life is full of crazy a$$ sh*t that makes *NO* sense - Jenny B was just saying the other day how if she didn't actually SEE these things happening, she's swear I was making stuff up. lolol  Sadly.... she knows I'm not.  Needless to say - you better be able to find the silver lining and that it better  be a funny one at that.

Open - I talk too much.  That's for damn sure.  I want to be with someone who is open and talks... stories about their life, their childhood.... what they want out of life - who they want to be, etc.  I enjoy hearing about other people's lives.... so if you're not going to share, that won't work for me.

Honest - needless to say... f*cker best be honest.  No shady stuff.  I'm not going to start checking someone's cell phone while they shower.... but more importantly - someone who value's honesty and trust as much I do - wouldn't give me a reason to check their phone.

Kids - they have to like my kids.  I met someone last week - and they were nice - had *great* eyes... and they joked that they "hated kids"  and that every time they see one they have to fight the urge to "stick out their leg" and trip 'em.  Yeah... needless to say - that conversation was over pretty quick.

Easy - not in the bed kind.  More like - "oh shit, we have to run out to do something for Boy Scouts that I forgot about...." or.... "Crap, yes I'm baking a cake at midnight...."  you have to be able to roll with the punches... because my life is f*cking punchy, let me tell you.

Baggage free - man..... I *cannot* tell you how many people I have met who have sooooooo many more friggin' issue's that I do.  sigh.  I mean - *I* am the one who just got divorced.... how it is that I've packed up emotional shit and dealt with it in 11 months while you're still banging on about a girlfriend you had nearly three years ago!?!?!?!  what a *waste*...... so.  sure, at my age we *all* have baggage - but it better be a carry on... or this stay's a solo flight.

Good Smile - and the ability to use it and use it often.

Sense of Self - I recently hung out with someone quite a bit who was covered in tattoo's.... I actually found them endearing - I think that there is a certain level of confidence in knowing *who* you are when you are wiling to commit on a level like that.... I found it to be an attractive quality.  So, however they are - they must truly know who they are and what they want.

and....... that's about it.

I'm not in a hurry.... waiting for the right person is key - and I'm not going to rush my life just to wind up making mistakes.  

OK.... so another reader wanted to know my "ideal date".

I *really* like going out to St. Helens.  It's where they filmed most of Twilight - and it's a great small town.  There is a brew pub located next door to the location they shot the "Bloated Toad" scenes in Twilight.  I would want to drive out there (it's over an hour away) - and see how our conversation was.... nice and easy?  Relaxed and fun?  Or... boring and tense?

Then we could wander around the shops and the waterfront.... what girl doesn't love to shop? lol

And then we could have dinner or lunch at the brew pub.
THAT would be perfect.

See... what a cheap date I am. lolololol

Until then..... I can always press play on any of the Twilight Saga and let Edward take me there anyway...
3 Comments
Melissa
3/19/2013 12:45:04 am

I am *really* starting to think that maybe I should watch those Twilight movies... ;)

Your demands aren't that demanding, Elle. Your Edward is "out there somewhere" and he will find you when the time is right.

Reply
Jaimey
3/19/2013 03:53:04 pm

my dad likes to say "I'd rather be alone and happy, than with someone and miserable" (funny it took him 27 years and much pain to both parties to get his shit straight.) No need to rush. Work on that picker. It is dusty and it's last few pics didn't work out so well.

<3 you

Reply
Landinn
3/21/2013 10:03:21 am

Elle,
Now is the time to make some SINGLE friends. You are not the only recently divorced, single mother out there. Find other women (and men!) that share your experience to some degree or another. Now is the time to redefine yourself and what you want for your family.

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