This has been ONE. ROUGH. WEEK.
The buyers (who I simply *adore*) came back with a list of repairs and things to do..... which was mostly done by me, my Mom and the neighbor kid.
Let me tell you ... it's very humbling and amazing to be touched by so much kindness. The Neighbor Kid is a sweet, sweet boy - I've known him since he was in middle school. The Grandson of our neighbors, if you saw him with his long board, collection of tattered hoodies, ripped jeans and swished hair - you might assume other things about him.
He's had the odd (and somewhat usual) school issue's - and every time I've ridden him harder than his own parents... lol - yelling at him about his grades, skipping and stuff like that. However, I've always been quick to give him money to take his girlfriend to dinner or to do odd jobs around the house.
When I see him - I don't see some 'skater kid' - I see the 14 year old boy who, when his Grandma died of cancer, climbed the tree in front of his Grandparents house and cried so loud and so hard, I could hear him with my doors and windows shut. My broke into a thousand pieces for him. Cancer sux.
So, off and on, I've been quick to dole out the advice and the yelling and support - more so than your average neighbor, I suppose... but I see so much unnoticed potential in this kid.
When El Capitan left - The Grandfather came over after a week or so and asked what was going on... to this day, I swear he got all teared up when I told him the news. He was shocked and sad... said he *never* would have thought that El Capitan would do this to us.
Then, he looked around the outside of my house and told me he's send his Grandson over to help with the repairs I would have to do to sell the place..... repairs? Sh*t - I could barely crawl out of bed and this guy wants me to think about house repairs? hahaha
The Neighbor Kid has been over ... A LOT. Doing weeding and fixing gutters and packing and doing storage runs and he doesn't even want me to *pay* him!!!! Of course I do - how the hell else is he going to take his girlfriend to Red Robin? lol.... so I pay him and I'm happy to do it because I'm happy to have his willing help.
Today, feeling the stress of the last week, feeling desperate and sad and depressed to be packing up my studio.... I'm just running a bit out of the steam. The Neighbor Kid seeing this offered to call all his friends and have them come over and help me move the rest of us out. I told him there was no way I could afford that - at all. No way. He assured me that his friends would do it for free - that he would work out 'paying them back' later - but it wouldn't cost me a dime.
Of course, I'm not going to do that.... however, what an AMAZING world we live in.
While this has been the worst time of my life (since the discovery of Yoga Girl and on) - it has also been incredibly, humblingly brilliant. I feel almost overwhelmed by the kind words and kind acts of others - many of whom are total strangers!!!!
I'm so lucky..... truly. I always knew how blessed I was to have my kids and I *LOVED* my life. Really - any of my friends or anyone who was on my facebook page BYG can tell you: I loved my life. Full stop. I was happy and I loved my life and my family more than anything.
Losing that - losing pieces of that - has been soul destroying. There were times that I thought the anger would literally eat me from the inside out.... I wondered if or WHEN I would finally wake up and the pain would be gone - this intense pain I had never known that swarmed and took over my entire body.
Everything hurt so badly.
And then I made (what I thought) was a funny sign and we put in our yeard to sell our home.... and BOOM. For better or for worse - the world knew who I was and my world imploded.
What has happened since has been.... mind blowing. The outpouring of love and support and the acts of kindness are.... a blessing. Everywhere I turn, I see: Kind People.
All of this was never my intention, and I'm not sure I've handled it all the 'right' way... but I could not be more honest when I tell you lucky I feel.
My life is brimming over with wonderful friends and a fantastic family, a WORLD of kindness has been shown to me - and I'm so NOT worthy of it... truly. NOT. WORTHY. But there it is..... The Neighbor Kid stepping up and offering himself and his friends.... for free.
How can I *NOT* be exploding from the kindness that has literally filled my life?
I know there are many, many detractors out there - and I do read their emails and comments - but they mean nothing....
I'm so grateful, grateful to the people in my life who have helped me and grateful to everyone who reads this blog and comments and stuff.... I'm sure it won't last forever - lol... but I'm pretty sure I've felt and recieved enough kindness to last me a lifetime..... and I just want to say, thank you. :)
This journey is nowhere near over - and I'm not at all done blogging.... hahahaha. But today, I was just struck by how incredibly lucky I am - and I'm not sure I've ever said thank you enough to all the people who have shown me such amazing kindness and bought a magnet and such....
so tonight I had to bed to snuggle my sweet babies and for the first time in a looooong time, I might actually *explode* - but for a change, it's only from gratitude.
The buyers (who I simply *adore*) came back with a list of repairs and things to do..... which was mostly done by me, my Mom and the neighbor kid.
Let me tell you ... it's very humbling and amazing to be touched by so much kindness. The Neighbor Kid is a sweet, sweet boy - I've known him since he was in middle school. The Grandson of our neighbors, if you saw him with his long board, collection of tattered hoodies, ripped jeans and swished hair - you might assume other things about him.
He's had the odd (and somewhat usual) school issue's - and every time I've ridden him harder than his own parents... lol - yelling at him about his grades, skipping and stuff like that. However, I've always been quick to give him money to take his girlfriend to dinner or to do odd jobs around the house.
When I see him - I don't see some 'skater kid' - I see the 14 year old boy who, when his Grandma died of cancer, climbed the tree in front of his Grandparents house and cried so loud and so hard, I could hear him with my doors and windows shut. My broke into a thousand pieces for him. Cancer sux.
So, off and on, I've been quick to dole out the advice and the yelling and support - more so than your average neighbor, I suppose... but I see so much unnoticed potential in this kid.
When El Capitan left - The Grandfather came over after a week or so and asked what was going on... to this day, I swear he got all teared up when I told him the news. He was shocked and sad... said he *never* would have thought that El Capitan would do this to us.
Then, he looked around the outside of my house and told me he's send his Grandson over to help with the repairs I would have to do to sell the place..... repairs? Sh*t - I could barely crawl out of bed and this guy wants me to think about house repairs? hahaha
The Neighbor Kid has been over ... A LOT. Doing weeding and fixing gutters and packing and doing storage runs and he doesn't even want me to *pay* him!!!! Of course I do - how the hell else is he going to take his girlfriend to Red Robin? lol.... so I pay him and I'm happy to do it because I'm happy to have his willing help.
Today, feeling the stress of the last week, feeling desperate and sad and depressed to be packing up my studio.... I'm just running a bit out of the steam. The Neighbor Kid seeing this offered to call all his friends and have them come over and help me move the rest of us out. I told him there was no way I could afford that - at all. No way. He assured me that his friends would do it for free - that he would work out 'paying them back' later - but it wouldn't cost me a dime.
Of course, I'm not going to do that.... however, what an AMAZING world we live in.
While this has been the worst time of my life (since the discovery of Yoga Girl and on) - it has also been incredibly, humblingly brilliant. I feel almost overwhelmed by the kind words and kind acts of others - many of whom are total strangers!!!!
I'm so lucky..... truly. I always knew how blessed I was to have my kids and I *LOVED* my life. Really - any of my friends or anyone who was on my facebook page BYG can tell you: I loved my life. Full stop. I was happy and I loved my life and my family more than anything.
Losing that - losing pieces of that - has been soul destroying. There were times that I thought the anger would literally eat me from the inside out.... I wondered if or WHEN I would finally wake up and the pain would be gone - this intense pain I had never known that swarmed and took over my entire body.
Everything hurt so badly.
And then I made (what I thought) was a funny sign and we put in our yeard to sell our home.... and BOOM. For better or for worse - the world knew who I was and my world imploded.
What has happened since has been.... mind blowing. The outpouring of love and support and the acts of kindness are.... a blessing. Everywhere I turn, I see: Kind People.
All of this was never my intention, and I'm not sure I've handled it all the 'right' way... but I could not be more honest when I tell you lucky I feel.
My life is brimming over with wonderful friends and a fantastic family, a WORLD of kindness has been shown to me - and I'm so NOT worthy of it... truly. NOT. WORTHY. But there it is..... The Neighbor Kid stepping up and offering himself and his friends.... for free.
How can I *NOT* be exploding from the kindness that has literally filled my life?
I know there are many, many detractors out there - and I do read their emails and comments - but they mean nothing....
I'm so grateful, grateful to the people in my life who have helped me and grateful to everyone who reads this blog and comments and stuff.... I'm sure it won't last forever - lol... but I'm pretty sure I've felt and recieved enough kindness to last me a lifetime..... and I just want to say, thank you. :)
This journey is nowhere near over - and I'm not at all done blogging.... hahahaha. But today, I was just struck by how incredibly lucky I am - and I'm not sure I've ever said thank you enough to all the people who have shown me such amazing kindness and bought a magnet and such....
so tonight I had to bed to snuggle my sweet babies and for the first time in a looooong time, I might actually *explode* - but for a change, it's only from gratitude.
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