And ... no REALLY - before some of you jump up and down about my making a 'fat joke' - check out the clip first! lolol.... I sat on the couch at more of an angle towards Jeff and the camera comes around and I look - realy really big... lolol. And - my make up is a bit too dark.... but ok well.
When this whole thing erupted I got lots of offers.... Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper and a few others... but - I took The View and then I took Jeff Probst. I've never watched Survivor - more of a Big Brother kind of gal, myself... but - I knew that El Capitan and I didn't need "saving" and I assumed Dr. Phil would try to do that......
I went with The Jeff Probst show because it was a new - he's new to a daytime chat format and I thought I would give him a chance.
First - let me tell you that you (we) the viewer have NO IDEA how much work goes into making a TV show! There are hours and hours and hours and several levels of producers to go through before a show even gets made. Interview after interview - and then flights and hotels and all kinds of stuff.....
A few weeks before the show they sent out a crew to the house to film the kids and I (El Capitan gave his permission) and do a piece for my segement. They filmed for almost *8* hours!!!! For a whopping minute of film... lol. Really - I'm shocked at how expensive it is to make a TV show!
They let me bring one friend to LA for the taping of the show and I took Jenny-Jen-Jen. She's been through alot with me - and it was hard to choose just *one* friend.... when really all my friends have been amazing and supportive. I also got to invite my cousin a few of her friends to the taping. My cousin has been REALLY supportive as well - texting me all the time trying to make sure I was doing ok and always checking up on me, so I thought that that was a neat perk.
Jenny-Jen-Jen and I got to take a Virgin flight down to LA and we stayed at a hotel on the strip! We went sight seeing and walked around Sunset Strip at night - honestly.... it was fantastic fun.
Taping day was.... strange. My producers were AWE.SOME. Really, so kind and patient and always helping me with everything. These nice ladies organize your travel and hotel and literally hold your hand through the whole process - but - when you think about many different guests they have on EACH show - these women run themselves ragged to bring you and I quality TV.
I really cannot say enough about them. Nor could I ever possibly thank them enough.
We got to meet Jeff's wife - she's lovely, really pretty and very friendly. I was.... less than excited about the make-up department.... they totally burned my hair, made it all super "straight" which doesn't realy work with my hair so ..... it just looks as fried as it was. lol And my make up.... was dark and... brownish? I was pretty bummed about that, if I'm being honest. I think I looked much better on The View.
So, tomorrow - at 11am West Coast time - "my" episode of The Jeff Probst Show airs. There are three of us with "bad breakups" - Eddie Cibrains ex-wife and another lady who put videos about her husband on YouTube years ago.... and then me. I don't really know how they will edit my segment together......
Being on TV is hard.... I have enjoyed it - most of it. But.... tomorrow will start a new onslaught of negative comments and I grow tired of that..... I grow tired of being the only one falling on this sword: alone.
I've had enough of alone dammit. lol
Something must have happened today - I'm not sure what.... but the phone was ringing off the hook with interview requests and stuff- strange... and the website jumped 3x it's normal amount of visitors. I couldn't find anything on the web that was new - but something must be out there....
Tomorrow will be more phone calls and possibly a few more requests.... mostly - I hope I sell a few magnets and REALLY - I hope that it help Bitter House Productions get some jobs.
LOTS of people are always telling me how 'clever' the sign was and people are just *so sure* that this will result in some kind of work for me.... but blogging doesn't pay - and being a single mom doesn't pay (but that's only because the grocery store won't accept my bank of snuggles as any kind of payment for food) - and with the studio gone I'm limited on the kind of photography that I can do.
So, here I sit... hoping that Bitter House takes off and that it takes off enough to help support the kids and I - but I'm begining to think it's wishful thinking..... for the first time in many, many year I'm feeling like I can't make a go of any business. Perhaps that's a bit of a message though - and I need to be taking more time for the kids and less time working. I need to spend more of my time investing in them and not in my bank account but that's sooooo hard to do.
i'm freakin' scared. I have NO IDEA how I'm going to pay my bills. I have no idea how we're going to be able to move out on our own again... or get back into some kind of life on our own. I'm scared about not being able to homeschool anymore.... THAT is the hardest thing to think about having to give up.
I LOVE homeschooling. I LOVE spending all day with the kids and learning with them and playing with them. Giving that up to work full time just to live in a small apartment nad BARELY make ends meet..... it doesn't seem like a super awesome trade-off, but one I know millions of single parents are making everyday.
I'm not special that way, and I know that. This, again, is a First World Problem... but for me it's my most heartbreaking one.
So, A LOT of my single mommy eggs are in this new basket - Bitter House. We'll see if it takes off or not..... if it doesn't it's back to square one. That's the only thing I don't like about TV - it's a 6 minute segment and it isn't time to cover everything.... there isn't time to show people how much it all hurts and how hard it all is. With some people, I get judged for that.
So - tomorrow - you can see me look E.NOR.MOUS on Jeff Probst - and then we can all chat about it... hehehe.
Tomorrow is a big day for other reasons, but I will blog about that tomorrow.... OH - and El Capitan employer sent me a fancy letter..... good times.... good times.
When this whole thing erupted I got lots of offers.... Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper and a few others... but - I took The View and then I took Jeff Probst. I've never watched Survivor - more of a Big Brother kind of gal, myself... but - I knew that El Capitan and I didn't need "saving" and I assumed Dr. Phil would try to do that......
I went with The Jeff Probst show because it was a new - he's new to a daytime chat format and I thought I would give him a chance.
First - let me tell you that you (we) the viewer have NO IDEA how much work goes into making a TV show! There are hours and hours and hours and several levels of producers to go through before a show even gets made. Interview after interview - and then flights and hotels and all kinds of stuff.....
A few weeks before the show they sent out a crew to the house to film the kids and I (El Capitan gave his permission) and do a piece for my segement. They filmed for almost *8* hours!!!! For a whopping minute of film... lol. Really - I'm shocked at how expensive it is to make a TV show!
They let me bring one friend to LA for the taping of the show and I took Jenny-Jen-Jen. She's been through alot with me - and it was hard to choose just *one* friend.... when really all my friends have been amazing and supportive. I also got to invite my cousin a few of her friends to the taping. My cousin has been REALLY supportive as well - texting me all the time trying to make sure I was doing ok and always checking up on me, so I thought that that was a neat perk.
Jenny-Jen-Jen and I got to take a Virgin flight down to LA and we stayed at a hotel on the strip! We went sight seeing and walked around Sunset Strip at night - honestly.... it was fantastic fun.
Taping day was.... strange. My producers were AWE.SOME. Really, so kind and patient and always helping me with everything. These nice ladies organize your travel and hotel and literally hold your hand through the whole process - but - when you think about many different guests they have on EACH show - these women run themselves ragged to bring you and I quality TV.
I really cannot say enough about them. Nor could I ever possibly thank them enough.
We got to meet Jeff's wife - she's lovely, really pretty and very friendly. I was.... less than excited about the make-up department.... they totally burned my hair, made it all super "straight" which doesn't realy work with my hair so ..... it just looks as fried as it was. lol And my make up.... was dark and... brownish? I was pretty bummed about that, if I'm being honest. I think I looked much better on The View.
So, tomorrow - at 11am West Coast time - "my" episode of The Jeff Probst Show airs. There are three of us with "bad breakups" - Eddie Cibrains ex-wife and another lady who put videos about her husband on YouTube years ago.... and then me. I don't really know how they will edit my segment together......
Being on TV is hard.... I have enjoyed it - most of it. But.... tomorrow will start a new onslaught of negative comments and I grow tired of that..... I grow tired of being the only one falling on this sword: alone.
I've had enough of alone dammit. lol
Something must have happened today - I'm not sure what.... but the phone was ringing off the hook with interview requests and stuff- strange... and the website jumped 3x it's normal amount of visitors. I couldn't find anything on the web that was new - but something must be out there....
Tomorrow will be more phone calls and possibly a few more requests.... mostly - I hope I sell a few magnets and REALLY - I hope that it help Bitter House Productions get some jobs.
LOTS of people are always telling me how 'clever' the sign was and people are just *so sure* that this will result in some kind of work for me.... but blogging doesn't pay - and being a single mom doesn't pay (but that's only because the grocery store won't accept my bank of snuggles as any kind of payment for food) - and with the studio gone I'm limited on the kind of photography that I can do.
So, here I sit... hoping that Bitter House takes off and that it takes off enough to help support the kids and I - but I'm begining to think it's wishful thinking..... for the first time in many, many year I'm feeling like I can't make a go of any business. Perhaps that's a bit of a message though - and I need to be taking more time for the kids and less time working. I need to spend more of my time investing in them and not in my bank account but that's sooooo hard to do.
i'm freakin' scared. I have NO IDEA how I'm going to pay my bills. I have no idea how we're going to be able to move out on our own again... or get back into some kind of life on our own. I'm scared about not being able to homeschool anymore.... THAT is the hardest thing to think about having to give up.
I LOVE homeschooling. I LOVE spending all day with the kids and learning with them and playing with them. Giving that up to work full time just to live in a small apartment nad BARELY make ends meet..... it doesn't seem like a super awesome trade-off, but one I know millions of single parents are making everyday.
I'm not special that way, and I know that. This, again, is a First World Problem... but for me it's my most heartbreaking one.
So, A LOT of my single mommy eggs are in this new basket - Bitter House. We'll see if it takes off or not..... if it doesn't it's back to square one. That's the only thing I don't like about TV - it's a 6 minute segment and it isn't time to cover everything.... there isn't time to show people how much it all hurts and how hard it all is. With some people, I get judged for that.
So - tomorrow - you can see me look E.NOR.MOUS on Jeff Probst - and then we can all chat about it... hehehe.
Tomorrow is a big day for other reasons, but I will blog about that tomorrow.... OH - and El Capitan employer sent me a fancy letter..... good times.... good times.
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