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So Long Saturn... oh - and I fixed the FB button! woohoo

9/12/2012

3 Comments

 
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Owning and running your own business is hard..... but as a Mom you often find yourself wondering if all the trade-offs are worth it.  Especially for a photographer who shoots weddings - because ever single Saturday is spent with someone else's family and not with your own.

I missed so many friends birthday parties and gatherings and whatnot... not to mention - all the places I never took the kids because I was working....

My Red Saturn Vue was the first thing I bought SOLEY with Zober Images money.  I was really proud of that - I mean, it's not much - it's not a BMW or whatever - but.... I *know* I made every red cent of that $20,000 on my own - one click at a time - literally.  It was kind of - aside from the AMAZING relationships I have with many of my wonderful clients - one of the tangible things I had earned for myself as a small business woman.  I was really proud of that - small accomplishment that it was.... I was really proud.

However.... in the divorce we have three debts and three assets.  We have the Mazda - which we owe on.  *I* own the Saturn outright.  We have the house (which we sell and split) - and then we have one credit card.  So, it was decided that I would keep the Mazda and pay it off.  El Capitan would get a loan, pay off the credit card and keep the Saturn.  I end up with $4,000 more debt - but it seemed fair....

I won't go into the details... but El Capitan purchased a car with Yoga Girl.... so.  No loan for the Saturn, which means I have to sell it to put the money towards the credit card.

Trying not to be toooo bitter and dwell.... but it's just *so* hard to sell my Saturn.  I LOVED this car. Like, really love it love it love.  For six months before El Capitan left us - I drove the Saturn and he drove the Mazda because he hates driving a stick shift (which the Saturn is) - so we traded. 

We brought The Girl home in that Saturn - took family trips in that Saturn.... I'm having a really hard time selling it now.  I don't know how upset I'm going to be about the house - lol.... but I'm really struggling with selling my prized car.  I worked so hard to pay off ever single penny of that car - and I even paid it off early!!!!  grrr!!!!

I'm not wanting to sound like I'm judging anyone... but dammit - I did things "right".  LOW debt - paid off my cars early, never missed a mortgage payment, bought a house WITHIN MY MEANS.  I scrimped and saved and went without instead of filling up a credit card....  and yet - I've lost it all.

That's so hard to accept.  To have worked this hard, be 37 and have done so many things "right".... how the hell did I do the biggest thing WRONG - and lose my family?   So frustrating.

So now I have a for sale sign on my beloved Saturn.  I took that car to the dealer - EVERY three months.  I did EVERY single thing they ever told me to do - in fact, it never went anywhere but THE Saturn dealer until they closed.  I took MINT care of that car.  I did it because I thought that The Boy would be able to have it when he was 16... I know - that's silly, huh?  lol

I know that El Capitan didn't do what he did with the intent of us losing sooooo much - but - I hope people in his current position are paying attention - cheating and divorce will cost you SO MUCH MORE than you could even begin to count on.  Certainly.... more than I ever planned on.

When we split, El Capitan took the Saturn - and for a while, he was "living out of the car" - however.... we all know he's been living with Yoga Girl since night one... but anyhow.  In the rouse NOT to admit he lived with her - he wouldn't install the car seats in the car. 

So finally, he agreed to put the seats in the Saturn and since I'm the one who has *always* installed our car seats (yes... I'll be honest, I'm *that* Mom that still makes The Boy ride in a 5-pint harness booster and The Girl rides in a front facing convertible with a latch system) - so he came over on an especially hot day for me to install the seats.

I got The Boys seat installed fine - long path for the shoulder belt through the back and into the plug.  The Girls' seat... it just wouldn't go!  The inside latch just WOULD. NOT. GO.  Finally I reached around the side and into the actual latch bar and...... there was something over the latch bar keeping the car seats latch from connecting..... it was shiny.  I looked at it - it was purple.... and it said - "DU........"

It was half of a condom container.  A shiny, purple, Durex Condom wrapper.

I was gutted.  Just gutted.  I was crying so hard I could barely finish installing the seats - The Boy couldn't figure out what was wrong - and El Capitan was swearing up and down it wasn't his - that it had fallen out of a friends pocket who he was giving a ride to.....

Yeah.... a "ride" for a "friend" named "Yoga Girl".....

Either way - even if it did just fall out of someone's pocket...... it just makes me sad.

In my car.  MY FAVORITE CAR!!!!!

So now my favorite car is being sold.... well, at least I'm going to try to sell it.  I'll miss that car.  I never missed an oil change - ALWAYS took it to the dealer (until they closed) and I was very careful not to ding it and hurt it..... but now, much like El Capitan, it must leave and go belong to someone else.  grr.......

And so it goes.... it's just a car.  And really - like how many people don't even have the LUXURY of selling a car to help pay down a debt?  Right?  First World Problems at their finest.  REALLY.  Waaaaah..... I'm so sad about selling my SUV... poor, pitiful me.  I bet barefooted women all over African walking on rocks and hot sand, carrying their children as they walk miles for clean water are really feeling my pain..... right?  Or what about people who watched their prized cars fill up with water and float away on the back of a hurricane?  Hurricane Yoga Girl stole my car..... she's a full on catagory 5 one, too. 

Too bad Allstate doesn't have a Homewrecker policy.... I would love to file a claim, get replacement value and start this sh*t all over.... hahaha

I hope whoever gets my Saturn loves it just as much as I did..... and, if they ever pass me on the road, I hope they'll smile and wave.... and not shoot me dirty looks. lolol




3 Comments
Aisha
9/13/2012 04:57:14 am

Oooohhh I must say El Captain really got under my skin on this one of course who am I to judge. Anyhow, his "friend" he was giving a ride to had a USED condom rapper in his pocket right? People carry new condoms yes, but an opened one...right. He REALLY didn't think that lie through. *Face Palm*. I admire your ability to share your hopes & dreams as well as in this case your sadness. I'm sorry that this happened to you that is truly the worse. And, I understand the sentimental value of houses and cars. I bought my first brand new car (of course not paid off, kudos to you:) and I am attached indeed! I said if she was alive she'd be the coolest best friend ever. Her name is Mali for Malibu and I had my Hondas James 1 and James 2 lol. Yes, so I totally understand your attachment :) Anyways, El Captain is such a (insert appropriate profanity here) because he bought a car with this girl that's barely legal to drink, still has similac formula on her breath and probably doesn't even have a real job. Oh and in 6 months right? Ughhh, Elle I understand he is the father of your children but your kind and gentle heart is soooo far better off without him! God has a better plan in store for you and your children. It will take time for you to see what that plan is but he never gives you anything that is to difficult. Much success to you!

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Suzanne
9/13/2012 10:59:11 am

My dear ex husband was cheating with one of my best friends (who just happened to work with me in a SMALL office). I can remember that gut wrenching feeling, like it was yesterday. Feeling like I had NO control over anything. You are handling your situation with humor, & a grace that is NOT easy to maintain, especially when others are losing their minds. KUDOS to you for keeping it together for the kids. Just remember, the BEST revenge is a life well lived!

p.s. My "Yoga Girl" dumped her prize man. Turns out, it wasn't worth it to her in the ed. Yours probably will too. Karma's a biotch! :)

Reply
sell my BMW link
10/29/2012 05:17:11 pm

I pity your ex.It is good to sell your car so that any memory of your unfaithful ex-husband will no longer visible in your site.I think it can help you move on.I agree with Suzanne.The best revenge is a well live life.

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