Hail Mary had signed up to do this dance class in Albany which is a two and a half hour drive from where we live.... only - the class is only Friday nights, so it's more like a 2.5 hour drive if she leaves work REALLY early to beat the traffic.
That's one of my favorite things about Hail Mary - she'll try anything and is game for doing just about anything... so when a teammate wanted to learn ballroom dancing - Hail Mary signed right up.
However, it's also been a bit of a pain because of the distance and the time and the gas.... AND - if El Capitan has the kids that night, then we lose our "date" night for the month.... sigh.
Anyway - this last Friday the class was cancelled and so we got to have Hail Mary home for Friday night - which the kids were pretty excited about.
I have, more or less, handled Hail Mary's relationship with kids just as I handled their relationship with each other. No one has been forced to hug or kiss or love or accept .... *anyone*. It's been organic and a bit natural from the start. When they met her I told them that she was Mommy's girlfriend and that Mommy liked her. That was all.
The took to her instantly, holding her hand to cross the street, or jumping waves together at the beach.... they seemed to warm to Hail Mary and trust her right away - which was perfect and amazing. But I left it at that. I didn't push or encourage anything else.
For the record, all along the road I have made it clear to The Boy that this is NOT a 'one way' street where he just has to 'accept' my choices or the people in our life - and he knows that he can tell me if he's not happy, or if he's unhappy with Hail Mary or even with me..... But, he was the one who infamously told me mid-ass-wipe that he thought that Hail Mary was the "gal" for us.
Seems like he was right.......
So things have been moving along- hugs goodnight and general getting along.... oh - and they also ignore Hail Mary just as much as they ignore me when I'm telling them it's time to go to bed... parenting equality. lol
Friday, however.... the earth shifted and things changed.
We took the kids to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner (buffet and we had a coupon dammit! lol) - and I don't remember what happened.... but The Boy and Hail Mary were joking around and suddenly The Boy leaned over and kissed Hail Mary on the cheek....
Wow. Shocker. lol
I sat watching... oh - because they both fight over who gets to sit next to Hail Mary all the time - so I was sitting on the other side of the booth on my own.... I was surprised as no one had really kissed anyone before and at 8 years old The Boy has been.... a bit distant at times.
But The Boy set into motion the kissing train and The Girl jumped right on board and soon.... I watched as the three of them were planting big kisses on everyone's cheeks dozens of times and laughing and making a game of it.... It just kind of happened.
It was amazing. Amazing and a bit of a break through because now every night both kids are giving us kisses on the cheek and 'one last snuggle' before bed time.... and it really makes me feel like we're that much closer to feeling really whole as a family.
Sunday night The Boy needed to finish his homework and I was making dinner so Hail Mary sat next to him and helped him through it all. Then Monday night The Boy walked up Hail Mary and asked her to sit with him and help him with his homework again.... how cute is that?
Then tonight I was making dinner and I forgot bread, so Hail Mary took the kids and ran to the store. When they came home The Girl was SOB.BING. OMG. Just snot running out of her nose, tears streaming down her face.... crying.
Turns out that Hail Mary was carrying the prettiest vase of PURPLE ROSES. Which, unbeknownst to Hail Mary - Purple Roses are my very favorite flower.... purple being my favorite color and all. However, The Girl was crying because SHE wanted Hail Mary to be buying her flowers too.
The Girl, being only four, doesn't fully understand what having a 'girlfriend' means - so she keeps saying that Hail Mary is 'Mommy's girlfriend' and "my girlfriend, too". lol. It's very cute and sweet and innocent and The Boy laughs hysterically when The Girl say's this... and we all keep trying to explain over and over and over that The Girl can't have Hail Mary as a "girlfriend".... but she refuses to accept this so far.
So tonight she was crying because she wanted her own flowers from Hail Mary.....
And that's kind of amazing.
Kids don't sit you down and say - "hey, I really like you and I like how you treat me and I respect you and love you and want to spend time with you." No.... they cry because you didn't' get them flowers and ask you to help them with their homework and kiss you on the cheek at bedtime..... that's how they tell you.
The Boy is doing well in school.... his teacher adores him. And his work is nothing but "super" and "great job" at the top..... Halloween is here - and we're all happy......
hmm..... I wonder what will happen next? lol