The Girl, while totally distracted by her own reflection, is in otherwise good spirits. She still has blood (more of it in fact) in both eyes, but she's been entertaining us with her clapping and dancing skills all afternoon.... so I think she's good.
*Prior* to The Girl bleeding into her own eyes.... and yes, it looks *as* gross as it sounds..... we were having a pretty decent weekend. Saturday is El Capitan's day with the kids, and The Boy was eager to "make him a present".
He had a red present box left over from the Dollar Store at Christmas time and he ran to his room to dig around and find a super hero toy for his Dad. He decided on a blue and red Spiderman car and popped it into the box. Then he asked me to fold up a piece of paper to make him a card.
Now, I realize that this is the usual kind of thing kids often do - re-purpose toys and things around the house as "presents" for people in their life... however, neither The Boy or The Girl has ever done this before. It isn't a holiday or someone's birthday - so I was surprised that The Boy was so determined to get it done before their Dad arrived.
Surprised, but fully supportive.
I folded down a piece of paper and handed it to The Boy who promptly wrote the note above - and then... to my complete and utter shock: make 6 hearts.
Firstly, I was totally impressed with his handwriting.... not too shabby. But the hearts.... the hearts were what got me. I've never seen The Boy make hearts like that on *anything*.... I didn't even know he could make hearts that well. It actually stung a little to give that note away.... just because us Moms usually like to hoard and keep such little things.... but El Capitan arrived and The Boy and The Girl ran up to him with the present.
I commented to El Capitan that I was bummed he was getting to keep the note and he laughed... because he knows what a hoarder I am when it comes to stuff like that... but I could tell he was tickled to get the note and both the kids were jumping up and down.
As they drove away I thought about how far The Boy has come in the last few months and in the last year. At Christmas he was pretty angry.... and I think he still is. He say's things from time to time, about how El Capitan lied about something, or did something he thought was a "bad decision" - but I think that that is normal. While I would love for more of this to pass him by - he's a smart and intuitive child who better understands what's going on around him than I wish he would.
The present was nice - and sweet. The note was cute.
But the hearts.
The fact that he took the time to make the hearts - and make six of them... he even counted them out - it shows just how well The Boy *is* actually doing. It shows that in spite of everything that has been said and done and the holidays that have been missed - The Boy still loves his Dad.
More importantly.... The Boy feels comfortable and confident in loving his Dad.
Boo and f*cking Yah...... seriously.
Aside from my personal growth and recovery - I have been greatly concerned about The Boy's ability to love his father in spite of everything that has gone on because I know that deep down - the ability to love someone regardless of certain failures is key to his ability to adapt and grow without in situation.
I am thrilled from my head to my toes to see that The Boy has gotten to a place where he *wants* to draw hearts on a card *he* wanted to make for his Dad.
Every little boy should get to still love their father like that - regardless of what they've done.
I'm going to go ahead and toot my own horn and say.... booyah! Nailed it! :)
Being a parent is hard enough.... being a divorced parent is even harder. I spend so much time reading and wondering what I'm getting right or just how many, many ways I'm getting things wrong.... and it seems like victories of any kind - big or small - just don't come around enough. This small victory is mine and I'm going to grab it and revel in it just a little bit..... MAN - I'm so proud of him. Proud of *ME* that I was able to help him to get this place emotionally... that I was able to steer us around and over and through the emotional landmines of the last 11 months to get us HERE - to this place where I feel whole and happy and.... excited for the future.
To this place where The Boy is happy and excited to see his Dad.... and writing him hearts.
It may not stay this way..... but *today* - I'm all hearts and motherf*ckingunicorns (and two bloody eyes) around here.... and I'm pretty happy about that!
Now... off to get those missed hours of sleep......