Laughter, Pants On.... $600 fines

I'm so, so, so tired tonight.
I have bags under my eyes.... deeper and darker than the usual.
I must get some sleep.

However..... I will share a wee story for your amusement.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my LGBTQ community.... as you all know. :)  The greatest thing is making new friends and over the last couple of weeks I made a new friend..... I'm not sure if she'll get a Blog name just yet... but we'll see.  She plays a sport professionally, is super nice.... we actually have a ton of weird things in common: we don't drink soda or coffee or tea, we both stay up late and we both pop our necks and knuckles... like I said - weird things. lololol

We also like a lot of the same music - which is kind of how we started talking to begin with.  Music is such a huge part of my life.... as ya'll know.  Lately I've gotten SUPER into Passenger.  I'm kind of obsessed actually.... I listen to them all the time.  Well, that - the new Miley Cyrus song and Hunter Valentine.

Anyhow.... I digress.  It came together that .... crap, she needs a name, huh?  Got it.... Hail Mary.  I'm going to call her Hail Mary.... there you go.

So, Hail Mary and I were going to the movies and we were meeting up ... but we hadn't said which floor to meet on and whatever.... so I get there and Hail Mary sends me a text:  typical femme:  late.

I send back a text:  typical butch:  jumping to conclusions.  not late. parking. 

Then we spend ten more minutes texting back and forth to find each other.... and we see *the* FUNNIEST movie ever:  The Heat.  I swear if you don't laugh sooooo hard for the first 45 minutes that your throat is sore then you are a( totally deaf or b) asleep.  It's awesome.  It's honestly probably one of the best movies I've seen in the last 5 or 6 years.  

In-spite of the name, the theater was actually freezing.... and Hail Mary was nice enough to give up her sweatshirt.  And let me let you in another *great* thing about dating girls... they do their laundry!  So instead of being some musky, dank man-smelling sweateshirt (c'mon ladies... you *know* that you  know what I'm talking about....) - it smells like it *just* came out of the dryer.  Butch girls are like that - though Hail Mary debates with me whether or not she's a 'butch' girl... however, for the purposes of this Blog and so as not to confuse any of you readers... we'll stick to butch.  (Having said that... be aware that labels - both in the LGBTQ community and outside of it - are always a bit dodgy and really... people are just people, however, this is a Blog with stories... stories have descriptions of people...so yeah - butch girl.  done. lolol)

Hail Mary is pretty fun.  She's kind of balls to the wall... say's what she means, doesn't f*ck around, works hard, plays harder.... and she doesn't find my abhorrence of tea and coffee weird like everyone else in the NorthWest seems to.

So the movie gets over and go to the parking lot, still talking.... Hail Mary is a talker, but the good kind - she's full of amusing stories and she's the kind of person who isn't afraid to tell you embarrassing stories about herself... which is always an endearing quality in a friend.  

We get back to my car and I'm digging around for a sweatshirt to give back hers.... and I first find my Breaking Dawn part ii fleece blanket - which is really just a giant image of Edward on it.  Hail Mary waste's *no* time in picking this up and starting making copious amounts of fun of me..... "What kind of *lesbian* sleeps with a man's head every night......?"  and on and on it went.... thankfully, I found a sweatshirt and tucked Edward back into the trunk.  (Thank f*ck I didn't have my "Cullen Baseball Sweatshirt"..... right?  lololol)

So we end up sitting in my car for... a long time.  Like... hours.  I mean - in the first place, we all *know* can talk... right?  But Hail Mary has tons of good stories and whatnot.... and time is ticking by and soon enough it's well after Mall hours and a tiny security golf cart comes whirling up to the car and the youngest of two Rent-A-Cops jumps out to tap on Hail Mary's window.

The young one is *super* rude.. telling us this is "private property" and we "can't be here" and has have to leave "the area" ASAP.  He's all starched white shirt with a shiny gold Badge of Stupidity pinned to his chest with a maglight..... whatever.  lololol

Hail Mary is nodding and listening intently and answering him back.... so *he* thinks she's taking him seriously.... I know she's flipping him sh*t.  The older guy - dressed in just a black polo, Mall Security jacket and slacks.... (like a *normal* person) comes over and kind of shrugs towards the kid and say's.... "You know, here's the thing - you guys can keep talking, but if you start doing stuff and pants come off - we have to call the police and two 17 year old kids both got $600 tickets last week for having sex in a car parked on the other side of the mall just the other day..... so if you stay, keep your clothes on, but you should think about heading home."

Hail Mary say's:  "Dude... if anyone was gonna drop their pants we'd have done that in the theater where the seats are comfy.... not out here."

Oh.... I'm thinking - thanks for the clarity on that. lolololol

He wishes us a good night and heads on his way.... Hail Mary turns to me and say's, "We just got Equality Profiled!!!"

Oh yeah!  Holy Sh*t - we totally DID!  bwahahahahahaha......

We were *literally* just talking and laughing - both leaning back against our doors and away from each other - just laughing and talking.  The windows were steamy, we weren't making out.... but that guy just *assumed* we were gay.... I thought that was kind of cool actually.

Only in the northwest could you get 'Equality Profiled' in the Mall parking lot.... where he didn't assume we were just two "friends" talking... that's kind of rad.

In the end.... Hail Mary and I went our separate ways after the golf cart whirled around the car for the third time in ten minutes... but I had a great night - and I was especially glad everyone kept their pants on and we avoided $600 tickets.....