So, it turned out, after looking over the calendar, El Capitan saw the kids three times - and that was *after* a 9 day stretch of not seeing them around Thanksgiving. It's clear that he doesn't realize this.... and frankly, it's my humble opinion that he doesn't care.
Now. After being *GONE* for most of December, all of Christmas and New Years... you would *think* El Capitan would arrive somewhat sombre. That he would be feeling.... bad? awkward? sad? to have missed this time with our children and would be at least..... a little 'hat in hand' when he arrived?
Not so much.
I asked him, right out of the gate, for his current address and phone number, and *THIS* was already a line too far....... it was game on.
It wasn't long before he was screaming at me.... pointed fingers and raised voices..... good times.
He say's that I "baited him here to pick a fight with him".... or, I just want his current address and phone number. Seems simple enough to me and something I've asked for in email multiple times.
He say's that I'm "harassing his friends" and that I should "beware not to embroil" myself into his friends "team of attorneys".
Whaa? Huh? Turns out.... that the "friend' is the one I blogged about on January 10th - the friend who had been texting with me... who BAITED ME - and oh... surprise: DID NOT send El Capitan the entire text conversation.
I informed El Capitan and a mutual conversation where the friend offered to BUY ME LUNCH doesn't constitute "harassment" and he seemed... confused.
So I showed him my phone and BOTH sides of the conversation and El Capitan was instantly super pi$$ed - slamming the car door and yelling at me about how now I'm trying to "isolate" him from all his friends.... um... not so much.
I point out to him that if one of his friends *lied* to him - that had little to do with me.
Then ... and this is *awesome*, El Capitan screamed at me:
"You're not going to happy until you take EVERY.THING away from me......"
Huh? It was allllll I could do not to laugh in his face, but I knew if I did that that would send him over the edge and the kids were in the house... so I held my laughter.
Until he said this: "You took the car, my friends - I have nowhere to live, no job, no money......"
and then I laughed... and I laughed hard.
Talk about throwing yourself up on a cross..... good grief.
So, without raising my voice, I reminded El Capitan that *his* decisions let to the sale of our home, the division of our assets, the selling of the car he drove, and I had *nothing* to do with his job......
He responded with yet *more* threats about how I "have him followed" and how I have TEAMS of friends following him around town and "reporting" on his every move.
Which again... I laughed at. I actually asked him - what he thinks my friends do all day - because they all have kids and lives.... and that the *next time* he's being "followed' he needs to get out his iPhone and take a picture to prove it, because it isn't happening.
He exploded more.....
wahhhhhh... I don't care. He doesn't scare me. Yelling doesn't scare me.
Then I asked him about my Netflix account and he said this, and honestly... you might not even believe me, BUT - he said this:
"I signed on ONE TIME to watch a movie.... and I guess her roommate watched all the other stuff - because if you looked at the times I was at work - Dumbass."
Poor Roommate... HUNG. OUT. TO. DRY. lolololol I'm guessing said roommate just *assumed* that the account was El Capitans and had no idea they were stealing from me... .just a guess, but I'm probably right.
However... more alarming, was that *this* was the first time El Capitan ever called me a name. Only once before - in 2010, during a fight, he called me a b*tch, but otherwise.... he's never done that.
Over and over and over..... it was all about *him* - allow me to re-cap:
He's a victim of having a roommate who "steals" my Netflix. He's not at all responsible. (Dumbass)
He's a victim of me - having stole "everything" from him... car, home, money... (by that he means child support).
He's a victim of my friends "stalking him" (hasn't ever happened).
Yet.... no conversation about... the children. No talk about how after THREE ENTIRE WEEKS of not seeing our children and.... drum roll please: in the last 8 weeks, El Capitan has seen the children THREE TIMES.... THEY were happy to see him.
THEY were waiting - jumping up and down at the idea of seeing dear-old-Dad...
He managed to calm down..... (only after he screamed at me his address) - and so I sent the kids off for a fun day at The Zoo..... they had a good time - and thankfully the kids didn't hear their Father yelling at me in the driveway.
I. Am. Done. This whole tirade had me laughing later.... honestly: could be he *any* more the victim?
He's not responsible for anything... luckily for my children - *I* am.
The problem is, during these periods where he disappears, Yoga Girl and all their friends start convincing him of what a b*tch I am.... they rile him up and send him my way with the same threats every time - that I'm having him followed... blah blah blah. sigh. Even when I PROVE to him that his friend sent him HALF of the text conversation and that I *still* have yet to lie to him in this WHOLE process..... he continues to fight me.
sigh. sigh and sigh again......
The upside was the kids had a great day with their Dad... which I think was much needed... though results in a bit of acting out the day after. I think that's to be expected.... We set up certain days and I'm hoping things will be a bit more smooth now, if we can avoid any more "disappearing" - I think everyone will do better in general... so that's my first hope for the New Year: No more disappearing acts.
Conversations like this, in the past, would have had me *really* upset..... this time: it had me laughing.
Honestly. And that's my second hope for the New Year: More laughter, at myself, at him, at this whole stupid thing.... because once we both can start laughing, we can stop being angry.
Here's to hope! lololol