Day 14. Two Weeks. I'm tired. Frankly I'm p*ssed.
One. I went to the unit expecting to see it empty. When it wasn't, I was seriously annoyed to find HER stuff in there, too.
Two. I was angry and I didn't want to make a decision based on anger.
Three. While I concede that to many people it could look like I'm "enabling" El Capitan - the reality is - I'm not and I'm not making choices or decisions based on *now*. I'm making them based on the future.
I don't want to do things that give him *any* kind of reason to explain his disappearance from their lives - whether it be for weeks or months or years..... I don't want him to be able to say to my children...."Well, [The Boy] I know how much you love The Simpsons and I would have had a collection to give you, but your Mom threw it away/gave it up for auction because she was mad at me..." blah blah blah.
Time.... time is the great big pink eraser of our wrong doings. Time will eventually heal some of the children's wounds - and if there comes a time when they need to sit down and think about things - I don't want them to have a laundry list of things I "did" to their Father - out of anger, out of vengeance, out of spite.
The Sign, The Blog and The Book - ALL have signed emails from him where he clearly states he AGREE's with their use or incarnation and with what they say. Period.
Four. As Custodial parent with Primary Custody, I have little other choice than to play nice and wait... while he and his friends and his lovely girlfriend can STALK my blog, my facebook page, and EVEN USE MY USER NAME AND PASSWORD to steal my Netflix account. I don't believe there is anything I can do about it. If you know otherwise... feel free to email me.
Five. well.... just five. I'm tired and sad and just...... yeah. How can a human sink so low? How can someone so *not* be the person they were supposed to be. HOW?
Six. I am *not at all* bitter with any of you lovely, wonderful people who commented.... I read through them and will properly write a blog tomorrow night (usually I take Friday/Saturday off) - but tonight, I'm just too angry, too bitter.... too hurt to do it.
So I leave you with the above video..... THAT, in spite of it all, is how my day ended... and that is just... well: amazing.
PS.... The Girl LOVES to dance. She was wearing her tap shoes because she likes to put them on and "dance" along with Shirley Temple movies - tonight she was doing "Captain January" - so, that is why she had her tap shoes on when I told her it as time to get ready for bed..... she's pretty awesome.
PPS... The other reason I'm super duper p*ssy today - (and this is *totally* a First World Problem) is that The Boy has been wavering back and forth about either going to The Great Wolf Lodge or having a proper birthday part for his birthday... days and weeks of deliberation - they had a FANTASTIC coupon today - and I asked him and he chose Great Wolf.... The Boy and Girl are *totally* excited at the prospect of TWO NIGHTS..... only for me to arrive home and find the coupon SOLD OUT. grrr..... now I have to figure out how the hell to come up with that..... sigh. First World... Class A, First World Problem.... but in any regard: Mommy Birthday Fail. dammit.... stupid sold out coupons. I'm sure I can convince of choosing the party again... but it feels just ... wrong, manipulating. But it's a freaking birthday party.... it's not that big of a damn deal. See... bad mood, foul mood, hard heart.... gotta' sign off....