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"I want to be remembered as a kid who went down fighting, and didn't really lose."

5/22/2013

2 Comments

 
For a while now this documentary of Zach Sobiech has been going around Facebook.  Like millions I watched it and had my tissue's at the ready.  His story is both inspiring and heartbreaking, not only because you know this wonderful young man is dying - but because as a parent, the loss of a child (any child) always hits us right between the eyes and straight through the heart.

His long and endearing message is that life and the connections we make are more important than anything.  And - that that importance can't be measured by time or money:  it just is.

I tend to agree with him.

Lately, my focus as a single Mom has been *very* much on money... where will I make it?  How will I earn it?  How *much* can I earn?  and on and on the stress goes.... This idea that there is alllll this money just lying around out there for single Moms to grab up is wrong..... really wrong. lol

However this conversation in my head leads me to debating how much time I'm going to have to give up with the children in order to make that money that I need..... and really it just comes down to time.

That time that slipping through my fingers sooooo quickly and now I no longer have a chubby and round faced toddler... but a little girl with rounded shoulders who writes her name and has taught herself to count, unlock every door in the house and .... get The Papa to buy her anything she wants.... (that's my girl!).  

Time.... it's the one thing we don't get back with our children and with each other.
Time, is something that Zach Sobiech and his family ran out of on Monday.

So, even before I had watched this video I had decided to forego the job I was trying to get that paid *really* well, but was four tens a week... and at night... and over the weekend:  every weekend. Sigh.

I just couldn't do it.  Instead, I'll be selling off one of my camera lens's to help pay for a short course for a job in the medical field.  It won't pay me a million dollars, it won't give me a big house - but it will give me enough money to live, a small amount to put away  - but more importantly, it will give me time.  It's a job that will allow me to have some balance between work and family and still give me time with my kids.... which is what I need more than a big house or nicer things......

I feel pretty good that I haven't wasted the last year being too angry.... oh - angry for sure at times... but I didn't get weighed down by revenge and anger and vengeance..... and I'm so grateful that that's a gift I gave myself and my kids - even if it doesn't get me the latest TV pilot about women who 'get back' at their ex-husbands.  Instead I have valued this time to *be* angry when I needed to be, to cry every tear I had, to *heal* at every turn in the road so that I would be strong enough to take on the next curve coming at me.

Having said all that... I'm humbled and grateful that I've not faced anything as hard as Zach and his family have..... what a wonderful gift he left behind.


2 Comments
Megan
5/22/2013 10:14:14 pm

Beautifully said, Elle, as usual. Zach's story reminded my husband and I that the bumps in the road we encounter in life are not true problems, merely inconveniences. Money, time, work- those are inconveniences. What Zach and his family went through- that was a problem, and one they didn't let stop them. Very moving and inspiring. Thank you for highlighting this today, it reminded me to slow down and appreciate my blessings.

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Christina
5/23/2013 03:08:02 am

What class are you going to take? For what type of job?

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