Matisyahu has been very good to me these last few weeks, but now.... I've decided it's to shelve my previously yarmulked reggae genius and pull out the Big Guns.... Mr. Robbie Williams.
Now... here's the thing about Robbie.... he's probably the BEST KEPT BRITTISH SECRET in America. I've heard he lives in Burbank or LA and like... NO ONE seems to know who he is - yet he's STILL one of the biggest selling aritists in the world... but for whatever reason, he's never "caught on" in American like he did... well - all over the rest of the *ENTIRE PLANET*.
Aside from making lovely music (more on that later....) he's like.... so easy on the eyes. No - like totally, really easy on the eyes....... In fact, I think he's THE MOST PERFECT MAN on the entire planet. His sense of humor, his self-depreciating humor, his... well, his everything. He always makes me smile.
And for the record.... why on WHY does everyone just *assume* that I was totally happy and "satisfied" in my marriage....? I'm not saying I wasn't ... but - um - WHY does everyone assume that I wasn't sad when El Capitan was needing to use less and less shampoo.....? I think it's just assumed that because I'm a) a giant fat ass and b) lucky that anyone even looks my direction (probably just to think to themselves about how I need to go on a diet) that those two things obviously add up to me having no self-worth or value as a human being and therefore I have nothing to offer the human race or my own spouse......? The fact that we *both* put on that Seventh Wedding Anniversary 25 pounds - TOGETHER... is lost on people. So, for some - based on that - El Capitan is CLEARLY within reason to have to moved on to a younger, thinner yoga-ier girl - what about me!?!?!
What if I was settling ....? What if I was trading someone else's fading looks for their fathering and husband skills and thinking that that was just fine by me......?
Well NO MORE LADIES!!!! NO MORE. It's time to get my Robbie' on!
In.... 199....5? May be it was 1996, I was working as a nanny for a family in Maida Vale, just outside London. Across the road lived Robbie and some mates - these were his post-Take That days and his pre-World Domination Days. The paps mostly left him alone... and so, on some afternoons, I would sit at wee Oliver's bedroom window just waiting for Robbie to pop out to the shops for his lager and fags - wearing his long brown overcoat.
Don't tell my old employer... but that *might* be the reason I burned dinner more than a few times... hahahaha
I never said hi or anything.... that's not the "done thing" in London. You see famous people all the time and you don't ever want to be the overly-loud American making a twat of yourself in the greengrocers because you noticed Liam Gallagher was standing behind you making lewd gestures in the checkout line. (That happened to me TWICE! Dammed employer used to make me cut up and serve fresh carrots and cucumber slices sprinkled with sea salt before dinner each night.... so there I'd be in the line buying my giant thick, green cucumbers and Liam was standing behind me making all kinds of polite suggestions about what I could do with said cucumbers.....typical.) I was BY NO MEANS going to try to wave down Robbie as he dashed by the kids and I to hop a cabbie.... oh hell no. (Clearly now... I'd be more than happy to make a 'twat' out of myself to get Robbie's attention.... lololol)
Anyhow..... Robbie is an amazing song writer - open, fresh, honest... funny. His songs have looooong seen me through some hard times in the last twenty years.... and it's time to dig out those tunes and get my sh*t together! Or rather.... it was time to re-purchase all that music from Amazon and put it on my mp3 player (Thanks Dad for the Amazon gift card for my Birthday! :)
We're going to start with, No Regrets:
I don't want to hate but that's
All you've left me with
aftertaste and a fantasy of
How we all could live
No regrets they
No regrets they only hurt........
Then we're off and running to making my work out "cd" - which will host nealry allll Robbie Songs.... it's time to stop settling. Because.... let me be clear: I'm not going to settle again ... even if that means I'm alone for the rest of my life ( yes yes... I hear you peanut gallery, Shamu deserves to be alone.... lolol) - but this girl is DONE settling for anything less ..... well, anything less than Robbie! (wish me luck.... hahahaha)
Here is where you can find more about Robbie: http://www.robbiewilliams.com/
and you always download his albums from Amazon: CLICK HERE TO SEE SELECTIONS
So... get your music, get your Robbie on... and we can all stop settling! :)
(Well, everyone except for Yoga Girl because she doesn't know she's settled just yet... bwahahahaha!)