Cancelling the membership felt like taking lazy to a point of no return.
I had visions of getting to the gym earlier. Moments of swanning around the holiday four or five sizes smaller - all in an effort to make a certain someone realize what he had lost, played out in my mind.... but the reality of actually going - while trying to pack up and sell a home... well, the visions and hopes of getting to a gym went to dust.
I focused on what I ate - or rather... what I *didn't* eat - and lost just over 38 pounds doing it that way. It was slow.... and frankly, even though the scale said I lost the weight, I didn't see much difference when I looked in the mirror. I think how you look counts *more* than what a scale say's.... so it was slightly disheartening to have lost so much and feel like it mattered so little.
I had signed up at the gym nearly three years ago - and if I've gone a dozen times I'd be stunned. I don't recall ever getting a 'tour' as such, or any kind of pointers on anything... however, I have a loooooong history of starting up things at a gym and then burning out in record time. I was pretty sure that I could rely on previous "how to use the treadmill" demonstrations to get me through.
I got off to a *very* rocky start.... I debate on sharing the whole story - and I reserve the right to do so one day... but suffice to say, the man who identifies himself as the "manager" is a complete and utter TOOL. And, not just a regular tool, but the kind who claims to have a personal handicap to make him that way.
Believe me when I tell you: he's a knob.
Even still, I was determined *not* to let the first FIVE minutes in the gym door after a three year 'hiatus' - (no my hand to G*d - make a complete tool of himself my first five minutes at the desk.... sigh) - it could have detoured me. It could have burned me on going back... but I didn't let it. I came back the next day ... and the next day.... .and the next day.
All in all - I was at the gym 24 days out of the entire month of January - which... for a b*tch who hasn't been inside any kind of athletic institution: that's pretty big sh*t.
February has been off to a slower start (with the kids and I going to The Great Wold Lodge for The Boy's birthday and a few other things getting in the way.....) - but I'm already back up to my 13 miles on the bike today - and I'm pretty happy about that.
Oh... and two days ago I made my first goal weight. I won't actually admit to what weight that is - BUT suffice to say, it launches me well over the 43 pound loss mark AND - again, it's something I've worked off - not starved off, or done shakes and whatnot.... it's real, honest weight loss.
But I'll tell you what.... it's a lot of hard work. It was a crap load easier to put the weight on.... lololol
I have a system - where I drop off the kids at the kids place (which they LOVE) - and then I change, grab my Kindle and head to a bike. Now, since I hadn't had anyone *show* me how to use any of these things, it took me a while to figure out the bike and how to get it to go.
I'll tell you what, it was like the f*cking clouds parted when I figured out there was a FAN feature on these things - holy crap..... how amazing is that!?!?!
I started out at 3 miles on the bike and one on the treadmill. Last year, at The Great Wold Lodge, I tore my meniscus on the wet ground and spent some time in a knee brace. I've noticed that if I do too much on the treadmill that my knee starts to click and pull. So, I'll only do one mile on the mill - but I put the ... grade? height? - whatever the hell it is you do to make it go up at the front - I put that at a 5 and walk at a 4.... which is pretty fast for me. I can assure you of that.
Over time, I've gotten the bike to where my minimum is now 10 miles - and then I push for 12 - 14 if I have the time. When I'm done - I shower then grab the kids: all in all - it's an hour and a half commitment.
Now. In the first place: Twilight has saved my life, or at the very least, saved me from complete and total boredom. I start up Twilight on Sunday - then each day I watch more and work my way through New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. When I'm done - I just start the saga over.
Now... who doesn't want to bike for Edward?
Makes it easy to stay on the bike... that's for sure.
I picked up that I have to *clean* the bike before and after I use it.
I've mastered holding up my towel for the changing to shower and getting dressed... I still don't understand how people just let their sh*t swing free in the dressing rooms of places like that... I am - seriously - I don't want to see that much of anyone.... just in general.
As someone who comes "every day" - I'm a bit of a 'regular' now. People start to do that 'nod' - or the wave on the mill.... and I've made a few 'gym friends' - which is kind of cool. People giving you tips on how to make the most of the time on the bike... which is great.
What *isn't* great is that fact that I will talk to just about anyone.
This has led to me have *more* than one conversation with someone - where we all started full clothed and now we're discussing the effectiveness of the Zumba class while someone's breasts are now swinging around the room like a cyclone: all white and bright and frankly... a bit shocking.
Yes - I'm *that* girl: I talk to people in the gym.
I probably need some kind of intervention.
Keep in mind - everyone is always *soooooooo* nice. Just today this GOR.GEOUS girl was talking to me - which again started out fully clothes and suddenly... the pants are off!
Still talking and smiling.... but now girl parts in the wind and free and clear of obstruction. At these moments I am - quite literally - at my *least* cool. I don't know where to look... where *not* to look - and I'm pretty sure my Irish skin goes just about as red as it can.
Of course, it's all *me* and not them. I guess I'm just some kind of prude...
But it occurred to me today - that I am *that* girl. The girl that ends up talking to people in various stages of undress in the gym locker room.
Thankfully - the gym is full of some really cool, cool people. My locker room is full of really pretty girls who are nothing at all like the "gym rats" you hear about: self-obsessed and rude and shallow. Instead - I find them all to be super nice and friendly and happy to give you tips on losing weight faster: try this machine, mix this up, mix that up - etc. I find that really endearing.
It's hard when you're not.... super physically fit - to go a place where over 70% of the people look amazing to start with - and climb up onto a bike in your over sized shirt and long pants - while some girl runs next to you damn near in a bra and panties (otherwise known as biker shorts). lololol
In years past, it might have been a reason... no- an *excuse* not to go back. Instead, though, I just keep going, every day - putting in my ten miles and watching my Twilight. I will probably never look like them - and that's ok- because I only have to be me in this world... but perhaps, just a healthier version of me.
The good thing is... I'm not afraid to be *me* while I'm there - I'm not hiding in the corner because I don't (yet) look like some of these people - instead... I'm the same, unusually friendly self who doesn't mind chatting in the lcoker room... no matter how red my face gets. lolololol