First of all... I heart just about anyone who calls El Capitan 'stupid' for what he did.... lololol
Aside from that, I had a lovely morning on AM Northwest at the KATU studios in Portland this morning. Dave & Helen were really nice - and my producer for the segment was also *very* kind to me. I was very grateful for the opportunity to talk
Regardless though, it was a lot of fun and it was very nice of them to promote the book signing - which is only a few days away!!!! That seems so crazy to me. I almost don't want it to come... because it's been so much fun just looking forward to it (mind you, if the only people standing there are my family and a few friends I might actually die of sheer embarrassment.... no: seriously. lolol) but, it's certainly going to go down as one of the most exciting things to happen to me in my life after falling in love with El Capitan, having the kids and oh yeah..... being on a tour with The Foo Fighters.... another blog for another time. :)
The interview is good - I kind of miss answering one of their questions about why I call him "El Capitan" - and hence why I keep his identity a secret - but I thought Helen was going to fall off her bar stool when I mentioned how the *main* reason the sign said *what* it said was because El Capitan sleeping next to a 22 year old every night who did yoga was one of the *few* things The Boy already knew.... because The Boy heard El Capitan on the phone bragging to a friend and he used those EXACT words.
That was a bit of a 'bomb shell' they weren't expecting - though that is in The Book. (Which you can buy at the book signing... bwahahahahaha)
I had to get up incredibly early - after being up most of the night with first, The Girl who was sick and up being sick... and then inevitably The Boy - who wakes up from all the commotion. Earlier in the night I had told The Boy to stay away from The Girl- not to touch her or drink from her drink, etc, in an effort to *try* and keep him from getting sick.
So, at like 4:30 in the morning I wake up and The Girl is wide awake and watching the TV in our room and The Boy say's to me, "That's okay Mom.... go back to sleep and don't touch [The Girl] - you have a lot of stuff to do this week and I can touch [The Girl] because if I get sick then I only miss Teacher Bobby's class - and I can just go there next week...... Go back to sleep."
If I weren't so tired, I think my heart might have exploded right there and there... but I could barely muster the energy to open my eyes, let alone let my heart beat faster. What a great kid...... holy crap I'm lucky.
These are the times when I miss having a "partner". In the past, El Capitan and I had a system of sorts - we would sleep in the living room and take shifts with puking/non-sleeping/sick kids, which made the misery of having a sick kid soooo much easier to deal with.
When you're a single parent, there is only one person to caress the hair of a feverish half-sleeping/half-fussing child. One person to cat-nap between vomiting bouts. One person to then entertain and problem solve for TWO children, now wide awake in the middle of the night..... only to have be the *same* person to get up at 6am to prep for a TV interview: hence my superlyawesomeswolleneyes. Perfect.
The Boy is so .... intuitive. He's wise beyond his years which never ceases to amaze me. I have been taking care of The Girl all afternoon, evening and night. I didn't mind.... though I wondered, as I held her warm body while her barf breath blew against my face - just how long it would be before *I* got sick... and - I worried that I would get sick for Friday. BIG worry there.... but what can you do? Not hold your sick and shivering child? Not comfort them and rub their back while their tiny three year old head is hurling down a toilet?
I hadn't complained or gotten upset or been annoyed... what's there to be annoyed about? I'm pretty sure *being* the sick kid is worse than being the parent caring for a sick kid. The only thing I had said - at all - to The Bubbie is that I worried we would all come down with something in time to ruin Friday. Then she made me eat a ton of vitamin C. Yuck.
But here was The Boy anyway, stepping in to take care of his baby sister so I could sleep a little more. It was.... incredibly sweet and I took full advantage of his willingness to sit up and watch TV with his baby sister (sitting in our bed, of course).
Progress was made though because while I missed those extra set of hands.... what I *didn't* miss was El Capitan. I didn't think about that until I was driving home from the TV studio, but once or twice during the night I thought about how it would be nice to have someone helping me with a sick kid.... but that "someone else" was a blank space... and empty whole - filled by............? Anyone... but *not* automatically filled in by my heart or mind - by El Capitan. That's serious emotional progress.
Woof*&kingHoo. About damn time. lololol
Mind you.... I suspect that that 'empty space' will remain vacant for a long time to come... I'm not exactly garnering gentlemen callers like I do blog readers... wouldn't that be nice? lololol But... that's ok. Just the *idea* of it - the idea of the excitement of even *possibly* meeting someone new is kind of..... exhilarating.
It seems crazy weird to type that. CRAZY weird. I mean.... I haven't kissed *anyone* but El Capitan for over 11 years.... I don't even know what I do. Frankly. What a oddly strange, but exciting moment that will be... when/if it ever happens.
Psstt..... I'll let you in on a little secret: In a way, I'm a bit lucky because instead of being stuck in a bit of a sh*tty marriage that I told myself was great and happy... and being stuck with someone who never felt like my 'partner' (I explain that in The Book) - I get to dream about finding *real* love again.....
Umm.... hello!?!?!?! That's kind of awesome.
Whether it ever happens or not is completely besides the pint.... it's the fact that I get to *Dream* about it and it could (on a very outside/remote/slim chance) actually happen.... it's kind of cool. Plus, I'd much rather live alone with puking kids and puffy eyes from lack of sleep while hope burns in my soul.... than fool myself into believing I was happy while living with someone who would trade me in for.... Yoga Girl.
So tonight, during what little sleep I will get, I will dream and hope and sleep contently in the knowledge that I have two great (albeit somewhat currently barfy) kids who are GREAT... and El Capitan will be sleeping next to a kid who (in my humble opinion) isn't so 'great'... but does love yoga.