I know.... I know I said that I was *back* ... and I am!
I promise!
But.... tonight I went for dinner with Keebler and the new girl she's dating, then I had to run to Wal Mart (more on that later) - and then I met up with Hail Mary and some of her friends at a park in Portland where we sat on blankets and had Ben & Jerry's ice cream and chatted..... you see *this* is how PDX lesbians do it: they can't just go to a pub or a "place" for desert - they have to go and be all outdoorsy and eat outside on blankets and sh*t. lololol
I kidd.... it was actually *really* nice - I had a great time... BUT - I have BIG PLANS for tomorrow and it only occurred to me at 10:30 pm while sitting on said blanket that I realized that I HAVE to stop and get an oil change tomorrow... grr...... dammit.
You see I was at Wal Mart because I had to go and get some last minute trip good and a pair of shorts for The Girl - because....... tomorrow the kids and I are DRIVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!!!
Yup.... *this* single Mommy is loading up a suitcase, a bag of food, two kids, two Kindles and two leap pads - crossing her fingers and hoping for the f*cking best as we drive the 1000 miles to Long Beach.
Go hard or go home.... right?
Lashla is in CA from Scotland.... and if THAT wasn't enough reason to jump in a car and drive *anywhere* that she is.... her daughters birthday is on Thursday and they had plans to book a "character lunch" to celebrate. Well.... she decided that INSTEAD she wanted Lashla to use the money for the lunch (they are *spendy*) on having The Boy and The Girl go to Disneyland with her for her birthday.....
How the *hell* do you say no to that......?
You don't.
So we are driving... hence the NEED for the oil change - and staying with Noni on the way down, then staying with Lashla, then visiting family, then staying with Noni on the way home.... and my car is stocked with PB&J, apples, Chips-A-Hoy, grapes and water..... on - and Special K. Which will be our meals over the four days of driving..... so - while we're "going big" - we are also going cheap.... hahahaha
So- yesterday, Hail Mary came over and met the family and the kids... and it went really well. The kids never really 'gelled' with Carhartt - and it became an issue quickly. So, when Hail Mary *asked* to meet the kids (because she LOVES kids) - I asked them if they wanted to meet her and they said yes.... so there was a good deal of razor cars and playing in the backyard with the hose.....
But, you know what I *really* like? Hail Mary refuses to read The Blog and so she hadn't seen our fantastic Disney video and so I showed it to her tonight and I noticed that she laughed at all the best parts that make me smile the most.... like The Girl "yelling" at her mouse ears for falling off..... that made me smile.
So, yesterday was crazy and busy and fun and the kids were having a rough time going to bed - they kept getting up and needing water and one last hug and to tell me something superdireandimportantthatcan'twaittillmorning..... etc. It was starting to border on one of those "Go The F*ck To Sleep" nights... (it's a book - you should totally GET IT!) and then THIS happened:
The Boy: I'm sorry I'm not going to bed real good tonight......
Me: That's ok - just try to lay down and close your eyes, bud.
The Boy: I suck at going to sleep tonight....
Me: Well, you could be doing better, but I'm not sure you "suck".
The Boy: Yeah.... I suck at going to bed... I should suck a bag of dicks.
Me: (MENTALLY: WHAT THE F*CK?) outloud : What did you say, buddy?
The Boy: Well, Dad always says when people such at driving that they should 'suck a bag of dicks'. So, since I'm not going to bed... I suck and I should suck a bag of....
Me: cutting The Boy off - DUDE.... it's cool - you don't suck and you don't need to do anything - just like try to go to sleep and we'll talk about this in the morning.....
Ironic that *I* am the potty mouth..... and yet my children never learn these things from me.... lololol - so now I have to have a chat with El Capitan about how we unravel "sucking" at something from "sucking a bag of dicks" with our eight year old and how.... I'm *pretty* sure there is a different way to handle your road rage.
I for one... will keep this in mind over the next two days! lolololol
I promise!
But.... tonight I went for dinner with Keebler and the new girl she's dating, then I had to run to Wal Mart (more on that later) - and then I met up with Hail Mary and some of her friends at a park in Portland where we sat on blankets and had Ben & Jerry's ice cream and chatted..... you see *this* is how PDX lesbians do it: they can't just go to a pub or a "place" for desert - they have to go and be all outdoorsy and eat outside on blankets and sh*t. lololol
I kidd.... it was actually *really* nice - I had a great time... BUT - I have BIG PLANS for tomorrow and it only occurred to me at 10:30 pm while sitting on said blanket that I realized that I HAVE to stop and get an oil change tomorrow... grr...... dammit.
You see I was at Wal Mart because I had to go and get some last minute trip good and a pair of shorts for The Girl - because....... tomorrow the kids and I are DRIVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!!!
Yup.... *this* single Mommy is loading up a suitcase, a bag of food, two kids, two Kindles and two leap pads - crossing her fingers and hoping for the f*cking best as we drive the 1000 miles to Long Beach.
Go hard or go home.... right?
Lashla is in CA from Scotland.... and if THAT wasn't enough reason to jump in a car and drive *anywhere* that she is.... her daughters birthday is on Thursday and they had plans to book a "character lunch" to celebrate. Well.... she decided that INSTEAD she wanted Lashla to use the money for the lunch (they are *spendy*) on having The Boy and The Girl go to Disneyland with her for her birthday.....
How the *hell* do you say no to that......?
You don't.
So we are driving... hence the NEED for the oil change - and staying with Noni on the way down, then staying with Lashla, then visiting family, then staying with Noni on the way home.... and my car is stocked with PB&J, apples, Chips-A-Hoy, grapes and water..... on - and Special K. Which will be our meals over the four days of driving..... so - while we're "going big" - we are also going cheap.... hahahaha
So- yesterday, Hail Mary came over and met the family and the kids... and it went really well. The kids never really 'gelled' with Carhartt - and it became an issue quickly. So, when Hail Mary *asked* to meet the kids (because she LOVES kids) - I asked them if they wanted to meet her and they said yes.... so there was a good deal of razor cars and playing in the backyard with the hose.....
But, you know what I *really* like? Hail Mary refuses to read The Blog and so she hadn't seen our fantastic Disney video and so I showed it to her tonight and I noticed that she laughed at all the best parts that make me smile the most.... like The Girl "yelling" at her mouse ears for falling off..... that made me smile.
So, yesterday was crazy and busy and fun and the kids were having a rough time going to bed - they kept getting up and needing water and one last hug and to tell me something superdireandimportantthatcan'twaittillmorning..... etc. It was starting to border on one of those "Go The F*ck To Sleep" nights... (it's a book - you should totally GET IT!) and then THIS happened:
The Boy: I'm sorry I'm not going to bed real good tonight......
Me: That's ok - just try to lay down and close your eyes, bud.
The Boy: I suck at going to sleep tonight....
Me: Well, you could be doing better, but I'm not sure you "suck".
The Boy: Yeah.... I suck at going to bed... I should suck a bag of dicks.
Me: (MENTALLY: WHAT THE F*CK?) outloud : What did you say, buddy?
The Boy: Well, Dad always says when people such at driving that they should 'suck a bag of dicks'. So, since I'm not going to bed... I suck and I should suck a bag of....
Me: cutting The Boy off - DUDE.... it's cool - you don't suck and you don't need to do anything - just like try to go to sleep and we'll talk about this in the morning.....
Ironic that *I* am the potty mouth..... and yet my children never learn these things from me.... lololol - so now I have to have a chat with El Capitan about how we unravel "sucking" at something from "sucking a bag of dicks" with our eight year old and how.... I'm *pretty* sure there is a different way to handle your road rage.
I for one... will keep this in mind over the next two days! lolololol
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