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Glutton for Punishment.... garage sale style.....

8/26/2012

6 Comments

 
OMG.. in the first place, I think I *might* have made more money if I had strapped a mattress to my back and worked the streets the old fashioned way.... though, it would probably need to be a King Size mattress for obvious reasons.... lololol.

But .. good grief - sitting in the heat for 8 hours PLUS the set up PLUS getting everything ready... I don't think I cleared $8.00 an hour - AND I HAD GOOD STUFF dammit.... Toy Story Toys and Disney Princess and great clothes!  Just... perhaps the wrong weekend?  Not sure....

Yeah... I think I could have done better working 'the old fashioned way'.  oh well......

I had big plans for that money - well, stupid, silly, petty plans.  Plans that are NOT fiscally responsible and are waaaaaay out of the realm of reality for me now.... but - in the weeks BYG* (*Before Yoga Girl) - El Capitan and I were planning on using our tax return to take the kids to Disneyland.

The Boy is a HUGE holiday freak.... I can't put into words JUST how crazy he is for Halloween.  It *not* at all about the candy - it's allll about the house decor - indoor and outdoor.  At the start of August he'll start asking to go to Target and The Goodwill while he counts down the days until they put out Halloween.... every single day!

This year - he's been putting out Halloween for the last three weeks at the house we're staying in.  He even makes his own 'Halloween store' signs with zombies drawn on them and they say, "Halloween:  Spirit  Store Opening in September".

Obsessed.  Totally and completely.

So.... when I learned that Disneyland DECORATES for Halloween - well - it was decided that we HAD to go.  The Boy would LOSE HIS EVER LOVING MIND.

But then El Capitan tripped over his own moral compass, and broke it in Yoga Girls g-spot.  Shame about that.

So, instead of that money going to Disneyland - it went to the various fee's and whatnot of getting the divorce and then towards fixing the house.... So, the fun money was gone on stuff that was NOT fun for the kids.

Then... the magnets started selling and I hatched a plan to use some magnet money and any proceeds from a garage sale to try and save up enough to take the kids to Disneyland.  (I haven't sold ANYWHERE near enough magnets! lololol)  The idea being that they lost their summer to the divorce, and cleaning prepping and selling the house.  That hasn't been very fun for them.

I feel dirty and greedy and shameful just writting that... For f*cks sake.... we don't have a HOME! I have NO FREAKING BUSINESS going to Disneyland!!!!!!  It's sooooo irresponsible - I'm a SINGLE MOM!  I have NO consistent income!!!!!!  What the hell am I thinking?!?!?!?!

I'm thinking this:  so begins a chapter in my children's lives where they will be giving up a lot of things.  First the safety and security of the family they knew, then a lot of their toys.... eventually, they will most likely have to give up having a Mom who "stayed at home" because I'll have to work to support us.  So... their entire lives will change.... I'm just trying to hold on to the one last thing WE had planned for the kids.  I talked to my parents and the people helping us (and El Capitan) and it was decided that if I could make enough at the garage sale and magnet sales, then I could use that money to take the kids to Disney - because it was "found" money. 

I'm not sure that makes sense..... I'm probably misguided and holding on to the wrong things... but, when you suddenly realise that you're falling over the biggest, most jagged cliff of your life- you'll pretty much grab onto anyfreakin'thing just to try to find your footing again.

So... I had high hopes for my garage sale... but today they were burned to the ground by an 80 degree sun and a state full of healthy people who do things like hike and run and go to the beach... instead of shop at garage sales on a sunny summer day.... damn healthy people! lololol

Pixar Girls' Mom came back and bought some tutu's and a few more dolls... I gave her a magnet told her to look for yesterdays blog.... she seemed a bit tickled.  I was glad to know that her little chubby cheeks (Pixar Girls cheeks - not the Moms! LOL) would light up when she saw a few more dolls coming home!

Then... some lady rolled up and bought The Girls Rapunzel/Tangled doll... and announced it was for her dog to chew on.  WHAT?  WHAT?   ...... but she paid full price and I couldn't really refuse to sell it..... damn.

Jenny-Jen-Jen spent the day with me - brining her happy, sweet brood and her own stuff to sell.  It was nice to have company since the sale was sooooo slow!  Good friends and good conversation seem to be softening a lot of blows for me as of late... bwahahahaha.  But I had a nice time with her for sure.

I was trying not to be discouraged with the day when a nice looking lady showed up.  She didn't really look around, she just kind of came up to me and asked me if the sign was true.  I didn't see a gun in her hand, or one nestled in her waistband, so I felt safe enough to answer and said yes...... lol

She went on to tell me that her husband of 25 years - father of their two kids- had just left her, too.  They had done counseling and she fought hard to save it... but down the toilet it went.  He said she didn't "respect" him enough.  Hmmm... I've heard that one, too.

I'm not saying that either cheatingbastard is wrong (and yes, I meant to type that as one word fellow proof readers - lol) - but..... what about YOU? 

Is it RESPECTFUL when *I* have to take out the trash ALL. THE . EFFING . TIME because you *actually* think the Homer Simpson way of taking out the trash applies to people NOT created by Matt Groening?  Homer never takes out the trash and the so the whole family will just fill and fill and fill the can until whoever puts the last piece of garbage into the can that causes it to all fall over - has to clean up the mess and take out the garbage.

Let me just assure you that this is a faaaar less funny practice in your own kitchen as opposed to the one featured on FOX every Sunday night.

But that's just it, right?  Somewhere along the line it seems to have become ACCEPTABLE to be Homer.  It's all shucks and awe and sheepish grins and oops - "I spent all our mortgage money at Moe's"  - and with that Marge heads to bed and puts out with her classic "Oh Homey....." line because clearly she feels lucky that a balding, lazy, stupid sack of yellow crap with elastic in the waistband of his pants still wants to bone her and stay married to her?

I'm picking on Homer a little bit here to prove a point... though, El Capitan never spent our money at bars or gambling or whatever.... but you get the idea.

Whatever happened to Mr. Cleaver?  I'll tell you what - *if* I had the *time* to get my hair done every week at the beauty shop... oh - and the money.  and *if* I had been married to someone who RESPECTED ME enough not to blow up my ENTIRE LIFE using his penis as a lethal weapon in a clear battle to destroy my emotional sanity... well, yeah - I probably WOULD have put out more. Or... nagged less?  But again... back to the trash can - I think asking ONCE should just EFFING get the job done.... if you FAIL to do it and I have to ask again- why does that make ME a "nag" and not YOU a fat, lazy, balding, sack of yellow crap?

And ps.... 'Homer''s" of the world: asking more than once or twice for mundane things to happen like... taking out the trash, putting your dirty underwear in the laundry basket, not picking your nose, brushing the children's teeth.. .hell- brushing YOUR OWN teeth.... *DOES NOT* put a gal 'in the mood'.

Just saying......

wow.  This is taking a bitter turn tonight... lololol.

The lady and I talked (oh, my tangent is over, I'm back to talking to the lady in my driveway now) and I instantly felt sad for her... sad that she had spent so many years on her family, raising her children, keeping her figure and taking car of herself - and yet...... her husband left her, too.  I gave her a magnet and a hug but it's hardly the consolation prize any woman deserves after 30 years of marriage.

Then I set about packing up what didn't sell to donate to the Goodwill.  It was bitter sweet and emotional.... ok, ok... I cried like a freakin' baby. 

I came across this 'puppy back-pack' that we had for The Boy when he was a toddler.  I was *always* the kind of pre-Mom who said that I would NEVER use any kind of leash or tether on my kid in public... after all - *those* are for sh*tty parents who don't watch their kids and it's a leash and blah blah blah..... and then I *had* a kid and as soon as that speedy little bastard could dart out of my sight... I bought that puppy back-pack that has the "tail' that you hold onto and strapped it to his cute butt EVERY TIME we went anywhere super big and super busy.  The Zoo, the beach, airports... (never the grocery store or mall... I *do* have standards you know.....) - but it occured to me, as I put him into the box, that this little puppy had seen us through our happiest times.

In those days *WE* were happy - life was good and those BYG days are sooooo precious now.  So I cried like a damn baby because more than anyting I want to strap that back-pack to my kid - even sew it on him..... because now, more than ever, I don't know where our future leads, how he'll process his father's infidelity, and.... now, I'm more at risk of 'losing' him than I probably ever was.

So when at the end of the sale, a older man pulled up in a really cool old, old, car with white-wall tires from which he hoped out and gave me a big hug and said... "So, where are the tools darlin'?"

I asked him what tools he was looking for?

He said, "Your old man's tools - and his Harley or his car and his clothes... they gotta' be here somewhere?"  and he laughed.

I told him that only things at the sale were mine and my kids... that I had packed and moved El Capitans things to storage long ago.

He walked over, gave me another hug and told me, "It'll only get better doll... I'm living proof."

Then he drove away.  I hope he's right... I hope it gets better but mostly I just hope that I'm doing things as "right" as I can .... that's the last 'leash' I have to keeping my kids close to me........

6 Comments
Scarlet
8/25/2012 06:49:02 pm

You should write a book lovely, you write really well. Hope you are all doing ok xxx

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Crystal " PixarGirl's mom "
8/26/2012 01:38:37 pm

You have the kindest, most generous soul, funny and crazy at the same time...I loooove your website, blog, everything you've done ! I went home and showed the magnet you gave me to my husband. We looked you up, and wow- that night I was glued reading your blogs, crying-laughing-crying...feeling all the emotions...Let me know if your " Girl " misses baby Cinderella ( as of now, she is sitting next to baby Ariel & Tinkerbell...). Thanks again, wished I gave you a hug yesterday. You will survive this ! From one Borderline Sentimental Hoarder to another :)

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Jaimey
8/27/2012 04:40:12 pm

Where is that dang LIKE button?! :)

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Michelle
8/27/2012 12:53:52 am

I love reading your blog! Just a thought, but with all your traffic I would think you could get several ads run on your page and make a little extra money off the blog. That way you could have more "found" money to get the kids to Disney.

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Aisha
8/27/2012 02:12:11 am

Hi Elle,

I’ve wanted to write to you to express how much I deeply admire your writing and style. I have been published in a few magazines and short stories so my compliment pile is very low for other writers. With this said, I want to give you my sincere praise for your writing. You have overcome one of the toughest hurdles in life and that is the one in which to admit and write that on paper. Another hurdle is one in which to express your writing in a way that captures an audience and you have successfully accomplished that by far! I normally do not follow popular media of any sort but your story and journey has captured my heart and I eagerly await your new blogs. I do sincerely apologize for the pain that has so suddenly showered upon your life but a rainstorm never lasts forever and you have that confidence as it shows through your writing. You have two wonderful adoring children who need your love, strength and support and despite your hurdles you have never let them fall. I wanted to write to you so many weeks ago maybe even a month ago but as always I read your blogs on my lunch break and then by the time I am done all my other work I never get a chance to write to you. I have been following your blogs and your site since I first read about your story on yahoo last month. You are a vibrant, talented young woman and you should definitely take those talents to the sky! Write a book, start a mini series-the world is yours! Don’t stop short and definitely keep on moving if not for yourself but for your little boy and girl.
I’ve read each and every one of your blogs but there are two that stood out to me. I cried over the blog about when you used to photograph stillborn babies. My boyfriend was born very premature and spend months in an incubator they did not think he would live. He had to be fed through tubes and he had a hole in his heart and he has a cyst near his brain. I call him my angel because he fought so hard to be here and he is truly a miracle. I shared your blog with him and wrote my own version in response to your blog to remind him just how precious life is and that he should cherish it to the fullest-we all should. We cried together-thank you for that reminder of how precious life really is. We do not have any children but I have grew up taking care of children for over 10 years. I enjoy the smiles they bring and the laughter the fill our lives with. You truly have many gifts in which you are blessed to have. I truly admire how mature you are about this situation and how even though Yoga Girl came into the picture you still remained the bigger person and showed a level of respect that I must say is tough for anyone. You are certainly bigger than me I probably would have used my Tang Soo Do on her-but your approach is much more adult  Keep your head up you are doing a wonderful job and despite what you may have lost you have gained a lot of respect, love, friendship and admiration which many people long for.
The second blog I enjoyed was the one I was waiting for-how you and El Captain met. That was a very unusual but entertaining night! You attention to detail is amazing! I could feel the cool air, smell the alcohol sickness in the air and feel the love that sparked between you two. Please, Elle take your talents and soar girl! Despite there are some people who might not take your story seriously always remember for every fan someone has there is always a hater. But, haters are actually your biggest fan because they motivate you to prove them wrong-and I am confident you have that strength to overcome them! I wish you so much success in your future travels, best of luck in selling your home and building a new loving future for your children!
Always remember you are not alone. There is someone going through something similar or worse than you and reading you blogs about first world problems I am glad you can count your blessings and not your faults. I ironically have a pretty blue house that I have to sell because of a “divorce” (we weren’t married but we have a house together and 6 years invested which ended in March/April-again ironically) and now I can fully understand the sentimental values of how a home contributes to a family. But, for every downfall life brings you something better. You will plant a brighter bigger lily garden and your children will hold hands as they romp through the garden. We may sleep temporarily on a mattress on the floor but remember it is only temporary. If you need someone to talk to I’m here. I find its easy to talk to someone who can say they walked a few feet in your shoes, I didn’t walk the whole 10 miles with you but I can relate. Best of luck to you, Elle! You are talented, beautiful and amazing! Lots of Love from the East Coast-Aisha

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Jaimey
8/27/2012 04:39:00 pm

Love and hugs. I am always reading. :)

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    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
    You can see some of Elle's photography at:
    http://www.zoberimages.com/
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    El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them.  :)
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    This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this *might* be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
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Scorned, slighty bitter but still, grateful and very happy... life is good.
PS.... you *WILL find errors in grammar, spelling and otherwise... I am just a Mom - now a 'single Mom' who
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