In the evening hours of June 4th, 2010 I saw a posting on a local news station about missing boy, his name was Kyron Horman.
Kyron was the member of a blended family - his Dad Kaine, his Step-Mother Terrie, and an older brother and an 18month old younger sister. Kyron had been taken to Skyline Elementary School by Terri Horman that morning. They dropped off his back pack and coat at his desk and then went to another location within the school for the Science Fair. there, Kyron was photographed in his CSI shirt standing next to his project about frogs. Around 8:45, Terri horman left the school claiming later that she "watched Kyron walk down the hall to his classroom."
Kyron never made it to his math class, the teacher marked him absent.
MARKED HIM ABSENT.
It would be until nearly SIX HOURS LATER when Kyron didn't get off the school bus that anyone was alerted to the fact that Kyron was missing. Terri later told police that she first went to the grocery store until 10:10am, then drove her the 18 month old sister trying to get her to fall asleep for a nap in the car. She then went to a local gym until 12:40pm and then she went home and posted on facebook at 1:30pm.
Kaine had gone to work in the morning but had returned home to work from home that afternoon.... it was Kaine, Terri and the baby sister who waited at the bus stop - but to this day, Kyron has never returned home.
In the fist place: It took waaaaaaaaay too long for local media, social media and national media to go public with Kyron's story. In fact, I made this point over and over and over during my sign fiasco.
LITERALLY. But not one journalist included anything about Kyron in my stories they wrote about me.
I put a sign in my yard at 1:00pm, posted a picture on Facebook and by 5:00 pm I had local news crews in my driveway and by Saturday morning I was on CNN and FOX, and my Sunday night I was on local news around the country as hundreds and hundrews of affiliate stations picked up my story.
Kyron.... not so much.
During those June days I was glued to the computer - constantly searching for the latest stories with the latest details - reading through hundreds of comments on each story. I posted and posted and posted on Facebook all day - every day.
We don't live that far from Skyline - a few miles. So, this story his home - HARD for many of us Oregonian Moms. It seemed INSANE that a child would dissapear from one our sleepy little safe schools.... IMPOSSIBLE even! I was pissed at the time - I felt like people weren't doing enough to help find him.
On June 7th I made my own flyer. We have family that worked at INTEL and they had sent out a company wide "flyer" of sorts complete with pictures and stats - asking employee's for help to find Kyron because Kaine worked at Intel. I took apart their flyer and added more pictures I found online.
The Boy and I made 100 full color posters (not cheap and truly, not something we could really afford) - and drove around our area and a popular shopping area - Tanasbourne - and hung flyer at retailers and resturants. The Boy was horrified. How could a little boy go missing? What did he go? Would he come home?
Did he miss his Mommy........?
I used this tragedy as a lesson for The Boy drilling home stranger danger, not getting into people's cars, don't talk to strangers, all the usual stuff we learned in the 80s.....
The irony is: None of that would have helped Kyron.
I *personally* do not believe that Kyron was taken by a stranger. In my humble opinion, he was taken by Terrie Horman and either harmed (seriously) or given/sold/traded to someone else. Almost from day one the police kept saying that there was not a "person at large" that posted a danger to society - which implies they didn't think it was a stranger abduction from very early on.
In late June of 2010 it would surface that Terri tried (six months earlier) to hire a gardner to kill Kaine Horman.... oops.
There had been a picture painted by the media and Terri's family that she was doting step-mother who had raised Kyron since he was a baby. That she "adored" Kyron and would never harm him.....
Rumors would suggest otherwise.
I went to the candle light vigil, I did more flyers, posted everyday, read every article..... no Kyron.
In August I participated in a fund raiser by Godfather's Pizza who donated a portion of sales during that day to the cost of searching for Kyron. I worked the location closest to my house (also closest to Kyron's) - and a friend of Desiree' Horman worked that shift with me.
Turns out..... Desiree' was pregnant with Kyron when Kaine left HER for Terri. For the first two years Desiree' had custody of Kyron and raised him with visitation with Kaine and Terri. In 2004 Desiree' became ill (I don't recall the details) and had to seek treatment in Canada (I believe) and that was (more or less) how Kyron ended up living with Kaine and Terri. Desiree' had regular visitation and was unaware that anything was "wrong"..... only weeks/months into the investigation it would surface that Terri had several emails to friends and family about how frustrated with Kyron she was.... in fact, I was told (so this is heirsay) - that Terri "hated" Kyron and this was becoming an issue in her marriage to Kaine.
Well, rumor or not.... Terri asked a man to kill her husband - so I think we can assume she wasn't happy and was willing to go to whatever lengths to take care of whatever she deemed a "problem".
I remember coming home and teling El Capitan about what the lady had said and I said to him:
"Look at that.... you think your first wife is a bitch until your second wife kills your kid..... I bet he wishes he hadn't cheated on Desiree' now."
Really. Stop and think about that. It made my stomach turn even then.
Fast forward.... it's been a few years - too long for a boy to missing from his Mother's arms. Turns out that my brother works at a resturant that Desiree' has gone to for years and my brother knew them... he still wears his green and white plastic "Bring Kyron Home" bracelet to this day.
Now.... this is going to seem TOTALLY self-indulgent and obnoxious and meladramtic... but it's the truth: to this day, when I'm my saddest, when the pain of my own loss and the worry about their future (raised in a divorced family) starts to wear me down to my last nub of sanity (well, what's left anyway....) - I think of Desiree' Horman. I think about the DAILY PAIN she must suffer with NO ANSWERS in sight. No clues to her missing child. The hallow pain of her empty arms on Christmas and his birthday and every day that she doesn't get to kiss her sweet boy good night.
Now THAT is pain.
THAT is horror.
THAT .... well, *that* pain is far worse than mine, it knows no end, and .... I'm sure little healing.
And - here is the obnoxious part - I have often thought of Desiree' Horman and thought about how this - my life, my problems *could* be so much worse and how grateful I am that I am *not* Desiree' Horman.
And let me tell you.... she is beautiful. She is thin. She is well-spoken and I admire her strength and her courage and yet.... I NEVER EVER EVER want to be her.
This is a *prime* example of how my First World Problems of a cheating husband and a divorce seem like a VICTORY when compared to her cheating husband and missing son....... :(
Today would be Kyron's tenth birthday. We (at least the public) still doesn't know where Kyron is. Terri lives her life..... after being found out to have a secret cell phone and allllllll kinds of other shady shit - lives her life not answering for what *really* happened to Kyron. I have so much more to say about her, but at the risk of being sued I'll refrain... but back in I was cheerleader and a certain cheer comes to mind and it goes... "get a rope, get a tree......." - and yeah.... I'd get her to talk Jack Bauer style. just sayin'..........
When I went on TV, I tried to wear my "Missing Kyron Horman" button that I got at the vigil, but it was thought that it would be too distracting to a viewing audience. :( I thought perhaps I could use my misguided 15 minutes of "fame" to do some actual good.... but alas, I couldn't. :( I actually feel guilty about that, to be totally honest. How the hell does a silly sign get MORE press attention than a missing child? Crazy - and not in good way.
So, now that there are hundreds and hundreds of people around the world who read this blog (sans one Canadian woman who was offended that I joked that Obama was the Leader of The Free World... lolol) - I''m posting images and a ton of links below. PLEASE, if you don't know Kyron's story PLEASE READ. If you are local, think about that time, think about people you know- and don't be afraid to contact the police if you think you have *anything* that could contribute to finding Kyron and finding the truth.
I think we all feel guilty when we read stories like these..... right? Or at least I do -I feel bad that Desiree' goes to bed each night not knowing where her son is.... when I get to sleep tucked in right next to my children. I can't change her situation, all I can do it post, keep his story alive and be grateful for my own kids and not squander the time I have being sad over El Capitan's wandering one-eyed willy. It's a daily struggle - but my First World Problems are something I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for when I think about Kyron, turning 10 and his Mom won't be next to him to watch him blow out his candles..... but I bet I know what he's wishing for.
Thanks for reading, links and stories below: