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For The First Time......

12/30/2013

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Wow.... where does the time go?  How is it that I've only blogged four times this month???? Sigh..... I feel bad...I really do.

This month was crazy busy with finishing up the last minute things for clients and finding the time to make my own holiday card - which turned into a New Year's card given that I only got them in the post the day before Christmas Eve.

Last year, because it just felt weird *not* to have El Capitan on the card... I didn't send one out.  I'm not sure if I regret that decision or not.  I had every intention of sending one out.... but didn't.
But, it seems like that has *always* been a theme for me every single year.... a 'holiday bucket list' of things I meant to do - fun crafts I thought we would make, cute places I thought we would go see together... and yet:  almost every single year, I would find myself packing up un-used crafts and thinking about places we *should* have gone, but we never found the time....

THIS YEAR.... this year was different dammit. 

This year we went just about everywhere that we could have.... Oaks Park Holiday train ride - which we'd never done before and it was awesome.... we made it to the Queen Anne House, PIR, Peacock Lane, Story Book Lane.... we had play dates with friends and went out for dinners and froyo.... oh yes:  *I* took the kids to froyo..... True Story.

Speedy Bob and Sparkly Belle moved around the house every single night and Hail Mary - who has yet *another* hidden talent of calligraphy - wrote "notes" from the elves on the bathroom mirror each morning,  We found time to watch the various holiday specials on TV and just tonight we finally sat down to watch the Lady Gaga and Muppets special (it's on Netflix) - which.... I have to say wasn't their best work... but - I sat there curled up with The Girl, and Hail Mary and The Boy.... and I thought, "Wow... I actually did it this year - all the things we wanted to do, all the places we wanted to go - they were all done.... bucket list of happy memories is full.....".

That's the first time I've ever been able to say that.  
First time ever.  I'm kind of proud of that.

This month The Boy also got his first 'report card'.... and I'm even more proud to say that he's doing well in school - performing at or above grade level, he's a good student who is a 'good citizen' and is conscientious.  He works and plays well with others (my own report card NEVER said that.... and frankly:  I think we all know it still wouldn't) - and he's a fantastic student.  

I'm so proud of that... so proud of him.  He's faced so much, been through soooo many changes - and while it has certainly changed him in many ways (and in ways that will continue to surface for years to come I'm sure) - none of it has "changed" him... he's still the same great kid he was in three' preschool.  He's still kind to others, showing empathy beyond his years, still "using his time wisely" and staying on task.  If there are any victories in this entire situation at all... it *has* to be that one:  The Boy.  

I know it could change... but for now, I'm pretty proud of the fact that we've been through a lot and he still believes in the magic of Christmas and Elves and in the value of putting other people first and has the strength of character to be who he is regardless of what other people think - but he's doing it all in a manner that makes kids want to be his friend - not as some kind of rebel with a chip on his shoulder.
Phew.......

Honestly..... there are days when it all just seems as hard as it ever was.... and, like most people, I can get sidetracked by what *hasn't* worked and lose all sight of the things that have.... which is a shame because I think that coming to the end of this year I have quite a bit to be proud of, not the least of which is the small fact that my children are still smiling..... 

Oh.... that and a few other things I will fill you in on this week..... :)

In the mean time.... I hope you had a wonderful holiday time.... truly.
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    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
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PS.... you *WILL find errors in grammar, spelling and otherwise... I am just a Mom - now a 'single Mom' who
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