I'm not gonna' lie... that's kind of rad.
Now, of course, there is a battle ahead for those of us living in the 37 states that DO NOT currently recognize same-sex marriage. Oregon, sadly, is one such state, so while I stand in absolute celebration for the entire LGBTQ community and cheer with PRIDE for those of us who *can* get legally married..... Oregon has another 17 months of struggle and petitions and signature gathering to get a measure back on the ballot to fix what Oregonians got wrong (IMHO) with Measure 36.
Oh... you *better* believe that I went to the PDX rally today and signed on the dotted line to stand outside supermarkets, bookstores... whatever/wherever to collect enough signatures to get on the ballot.
Today really was just sooooo amazing. I couldn't believe all the posts and messages that were blowing up my phone by 5 am.... I couldn't sleep. Soooo exciting. DOMA and Prop 8 are both overturned and now.... same-sex marriage is a 'states rights issue'. We still have a ways to go... but it feels *really* good to know that the federal government stands behind us.
VooDoo Donuts sold $1 rainbow Gay Bars to celebrate.... so of course I waited the 40 minutes in line to buy one - incidentally.... the *cutest* butch girl sold them to me.... donuts + butch girls = Elle swooning....
Omg...honestly, I'm still so excited I'm having a hard time writing tonight... staying on any kind of track is rough for me right now because I'm just so *freakin* excited...... seriously. It's a crazy day in our countries history - and an excellent day.
Tonight we went out to our favorite gay bars where the general mood was total celebration.... people high fiving each other and fist bumping and hugging..... just random strangers: spreading joy. It seems like in the past year, days where people are looking around with shared emotions they have been ones of fear, disbelief and grief - after the theater shooting, or Sandy Hook...... but TODAY, today was allll giddy and rainbows and GAY! Today was GAY in alllll the best ways. Man.... it felt so good to be *a part* of that AND for it to be such a positive thing.
Honestly..... I feel not even worthy to be standing in my own community right now.... sooooo many people have fought and been judged and brave for soooooo much longer that I have. I feel like I have to work harder to make up for that lost time when I should have been out there helping myself and my community..... it's really so humbling to hear so many couples share their journey - how hard it's been and how much equality really means to them and their children. Today, people were just literally hugging in the streets.
How far we've come..... it's 20 years since Brandon Teena was raped, beaten and killed..... and today the streets of Portland were a *rainbow* of queers and drag queens and transgender and gay and lesbian - and there was elation in the air: a genuine feeling of true happiness..... and safety. That's crazy to think about.
And then.... when I thought my day couldn't get any better,I came home to this Blog Comment:
You are giving us a gift by allowing us to go through this process with you. You have positively affected people both in your recovery from the divorce and from your coming out. People's hate has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
To those who feel they've been duped, that is your issue entirely. It isn't Elle's job to live up to your expectations. She is authentic and her coming out doesn't invalidate her marriage or her relationship with El Capitan. Life isn't black and white....it's a Rainbow.
Life is a process of discovery so more power to you, Elle.
Wow. I don't know who you are 'Landy' - but I *really* needed to hear that....... really. It's so awesome that you wrote me that...... I know there I have a solid core of support on this blog (Emma, Kay, Alex.... you know who you are! :) but.... so many times in the past few weeks I've really considered throwing in the towel and just being done.
But, I said when I started this Blog almost a year ago now, that I would continue to write and share their journey so long as people were reading.... and each month my numbers grow - not shrink. AND - you know what - when the Single Dad Laughing guy "came out" as a 'bi-sexual" - he lost a TON of readers..... like 10,000 he said...... I haven't seen a drop: in fact it's gone up. That's kind of cool.
I don't have to be famous. I don't have to make a ton of money. (Which is good, because clearly neither of those is ever going to happen... lololol) - I know that there were people who were helped and continue to feel "helped" by my sharing the process of healing after the divorce (a process no doubt still going on...) - and I have to believe that there is *at least* one person who has been helped by my willingness to come out and talk openly and freely about what it means to be gay.
I'm sure that it will continue to cost me interest from certain girls.... and I understand that. I *Really* do.... but, at the same time - I'm a pretty open and honest person. Most people come here because they say they "feel like my friend".... well - this is pretty much how I talk to my friends.... true story. lololol I'm the same person on The Blog that I am sitting at Jenny B's house having coffee..... so, if someone is going to walk away from me because of The Blog, then I think perhaps that might not be the right person for me anyway (though.... it hurts like a bitch, I'll be honest.) I think, perhaps, I might need to extend future "people of romantic interest" the option to NOT be written about on The Blog.... I think that might be fair - right?
That would be hard to do..... oh - and on that note: a nice girl asked me out on a date.
A DATE Yo...... that's kind of cool. :)
So..... I know these feelings of gay elation won't last.... but I'm feeling pretty happy tonight - lots of reasons to smile, lots of reasons to rejoice and until tomorrow hits - I'm just going to go to sleep with thoughts of rainbows and unicorns on my mind.......