I was talking with someone the other day and they flippantly said.... "oh, I don't care about famous people, they don't impress me."
Now, let me be *clear* - we were talking about like actors or musicians and what not.... and - I can see their point, but at the same time... that kind of thing really pisses me off. And really... if Davef*ckingGrohl sat down on a park bench next to you - you wouldn't be p*ssing your pants? Really? C'mon... you *know* you would. Why do we give "famous" people such a hard time and act like they HAVE to be treated differently - I mean - do we ever walk around and say.... "Oh, I don't care about really friendly people who do well in their lives... they don't impress me." Yeah, I didn't think so. Now. *I* am not famous. I think, perhaps, I'm... 'infamous'.... and perhaps not in the best way and not for the best thing... but alas: there are very few people who I meet who don't know about the sign or didn't see the sign... hence: some level of so-called 'fame'. I did *nothing* to attain it. It doesn't pay me squat. It doesn't affect my daily life. In fact, it has no *real* affect on me or my life at all... other than that fact that I have ZERO f*cking privacy. lol That has made 'dating' very difficult..... if someone finds out my full name *before* they've had a chance to really get to know me - then they can google me and fill in their own blanks. Which is a little unfair - but that's the way it is. Oh... and again - any future in-laws have a Book and an entire Blog to read and they'll know almost everything there is to know about me.... sigh. oh well. Did I *ask* for this.... hell no. But... it is what it is. So then *after* my conversation with this person I thought... feck - will this kind of sweeping "I don't care about you because you're "famous" apply to me as well? Like - is there a barometer of fame? So like the slightly famous don't get written off as quickly as the 'uber' famous? Like..... I'm Wal-Mart to Kim Kardashians Nordstroms? Or may be I'm the 7-11 to her Nordstroms.... but you get the idea. So, so the blue collars of fame get more love than the rich, white collar kind? I mean... I'm just curious. I can't tell you *how* many famous people I have dined with... sat next to - and I no freakin' clue who they were... why the hell would I? I don't card people and ask them for their resume upon meeting them. I like people - I like meeting people. I like talking to people - all people.... and if you aren't afraid to walk up and say hello to someone - and they later turn out to be 'famous' - who the hell cares? I hate to break it to the planet... but so-called 'famous' people sh*t, shower and shave just like the rest of us. They are normal people living their lives and they have friends... famous friends and un-famous ones alike. Sometimes people want to be famous - like... said Kardashians. Some people are really talented and become noticed and famous for those talents... should those people not be celebrated for working so hard and honing their craft? I think *all* people are who successful are pretty inspiring whether they are famous or not. I really *can't* stress enough how... 'un-famous' I know I am... but still.... this whole conversation got under my skin a little.... clearly. I mean - for instance... when I was a working photojournalist - who the hell else was I *supposed* to make friends with? You spend day in and day out on tour or working with artists.... so... eventually you make friends with some of them. It didn't change my day-to-day life. It didn't make me any richer or more important... nor did I think it made me 'self-important'. They were people.... just people who made (usually) really cool music (which I usually liked) and that's kind of rad. Of course... I really respected *everyone* equally. I would get *just* as excited about seeing Joe and Doug and Trey (roadie/tour manager/merchandise manager) of a certain band - it was *great* to see these guys time after time, and I'd spend just as much time with *them* as I would the artist/band. I find that anytime you're willing to sit down and talk with someone - *anyone* - you'll find some common ground, you'll learn something interesting and you'll find something you like about them... and BAM: you just make a friend. Done. Easy. Simple. Why should I care if that 'someone' is 'famous' according to some social standard? Oh... yeah - I don't. BUT - that 'don't' - doesn't keep me from bothering to get to know them. I guess what *I'm* saying is that I find alllll people impressive. Life is f*cking hard and anyone else slogging this road right along with me is someone I'm bound to enjoy getting to know... Period. sigh. I think I'm just b*tchy tonight. lol On that note..... well - the dating note (which is lost in the above somewhere) - can I just say how *hard* it is to start over at 37.... and *not* only that - but start with over with this GIANT thing in your past (like making a sign, making international news and winding up on The View.....? oh yeah... *that*) man..... it's like - don't *ask* me a hundred questions about what happened, and the sign and the media and then *tell* me that I'm clearly not over El Capitan because I spent too much time talking about "him". sigh. I wasn't f*cker... I was answering your questions... your dozens of questions... lolol - so that's a lot of answers and a lot of talking.... I would have been just as happy discussing macroeconomics or the alignment of the planets.... seriously. *YOU* asked... I answered. Don't go assigning *your* personal baggage to me. I met someone who nodded with everything I said... gave me those sympathetic eyes that said, "I've been there... I feel your pain...." - so I'm like - cool... this is going well? Nope. They turn right around and say.... "I have some great book to help you heal from this - I used them during my divorce five years ago.... don't worry - you'll get there eventually." Um.... dude. I drove there, through many, many storms, crashed and burned more than once... but we got *here* - see that's my disheveled old car parked waaaaaaay over there and if you look in the trunk you'll find the baggage I left in there, too. See, I parked that sh*t and now it's just me on my own two feet: walking away, head held high... and proud. I'm fine. Really. And I'm not judging... but five years later the *only* conversation I better be having about El Capitan will be parenting related.... good grief. If I've debated whether or not El Capitan was worth *ten years* of my life *with* him.... I can sure as sh*t assure you that he is *not* worth *five years* of my life once he's gone... that's just crazy talk. Cray. Cray. Oh... and *more* thing on my b*tchy radar tonight.... El Capitan wants to join a basketball league which happens to be on the day/evening he has the kids and he asked if he could potentially move his day with them.... I said sure - what do I care? Holy hell.... have I caught crap for that. Yes... people have a point - I miss out on plenty having the kids 95% of the time - and yes.... I don't get to join a basketball league... (ok, seriously - can you just imagine that? lololol) - but... why the hell do I care what day he comes to see the kids? Sure, I'm used to that one day - and it's easy and convenient and I kind of have a bit of a weekly ritual... but - is it *really* that big of a deal to move days? No. So why the f*ck make it one? Isn't *that* drama? Isn't *that* trying to hold onto things with him by continuing to cause problems and be a hassle to deal with......? Whatever... move your day - I don't care. It makes no odds to me so long as he see's the kids... *that* is what matters the most to them - so *that* is what matters the most to me. Simple. Easy. Done. So there you have it... my One Thing - for someone in my life who might not 'deserve it'. I did my first One Thing for El Capitan... and not because I'm damaged and bitter and scorned - but because I'M NOT. lolol Of course... I was none to thrilled to hear The Boy telling The Papa tonight that he asked El Capitan if he had a girlfriend and he told The Boy that he did NOT. sigh. Before The Papa could reply The Boy said, "Yeah.... I don't know why he has to lie because I've seen her and I know her name and I know he has a girlfriend because he said so a long time ago.... I think sometimes when you tell lots and lots of lies you can't remember them all." This was followed by a big pause and then The Papa said, "Yup... pretty much." To which The Boy said, "Yeah, that's why I don't tell lies. If I hit sister, I just to go tell Mom right away... I don't like about it. Lying is a bad decision." So... booyah. This is me. Whole, standing on my own two feet with a kid who knows right from wrong in the face of one parents dishonesty.... and *why* is that? Because I've stuck to my damn guns, done things *my* way and the three of us have (thus far) come out the other side of it *better* for it all.... fame or no fame... we're better
3 Comments
dusty
3/4/2013 09:27:43 pm
I think it's great that El Capitan is on a schedule with the kids, I didn't think he was seeing them on a regular basis so that's good. I also agree with you that if he needs to change the day he sees them, so what, as long as he sees them. I also don't think there is anything wrong with people suggesting books, etc., to help you continue to heal. I don't believe that you are completely healed at this time, you of course are much better than you were but are still healing. I also suggested a course to you in one of my earlier replies to a post, knowing that healing takes a long, long time. Maybe think of it as people trying to help you rather than people thinking you are stuck and can't move on.
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dusty
3/4/2013 09:29:58 pm
I have something else to add ..... what is with El Capitan lying to the boy about yg? Why is he doing that? He must know that his son knows about her? Maybe you should ask him? I'm curious as to why he thinks this is the way to go.
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Jaimey
3/5/2013 02:15:15 pm
I would bet that the people saying you are not over El DouchO are not those that are closest to you. If they are I don't think they are reading the blog, listening to you speak or reading between the lines. I for one, know that you are well past him. I agree that making a bigger deal out of switching days is stupid and useless and making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. I applaud you for once again taking the high road. Much higher than I myself could probably take. Hugs to you. Famous, infamous or just plain you, I love ya. :)
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