Doin' Some More Laundry... according to the HuffPost

5/3/2013

Sigh.

Well, yesterday the Huffington Post and their awesome middle-school edu-ma-cated journalists were back in action.... *this* time misquoting the link they were promoting.

Seriously.

You have ONE F*CKING JOB.

It's not a hard one.

So, after yet *another* email to an editor over to to have them corrrect this piece... they did. They are just *hell bent* on my being some kind of vengeful whore.

sigh.

Again.... for those who need a f*cking re-cap: I made the sign. HE approved the sign WE bought the sign.

If this was an act of revenge, then someone should take away my dinner knife because clearly simple concepts are f*cking lost on me.

How was exacting "revenge" on someone who also thought the sign was a good marketing idea?

Anyway.......

Tonight on Investigation Discovery they aired my segment on the show: Karma's a Bitch.

They actually did a pretty good job - though I wasn't keen on the house and kids drawings that had nothing to do with me - and some weird actors.... but, otherwise... they did a pretty decent job.

The coolest part is that Bobby from Soprano's say's my name.... how *awesome* is that? lol

As such, this week I've been approached by a few more journalists and tv people and such.... and I turned them alllll down.

For one.... I was pretty sure my 15 mintues ended a long time ago.

For two.... who the f*ck still cares? I don't, for one.

For three.... I've moved on.

This entire Blog is a journey in *moving the f*ck on*. There's nothing here about getting revenge or making anyone pay for anything.... I've never participated in ANYTHING that was vengeful. Not then, not now.....

It's a bit frustrating that the REAL story should be that we are all co-parenting now. That La Novia and I are fine.... in fact - we're f*cking great.

Tonight - watching the episode - even though I was telling the truth... I actually felt really bad for her when I was talking about what I found on his found (that he called Yoga Girl a "f*ck buddy" to his friends via text on his phone which I read the night I found out about her).

I kind of don't want her to know that that was what he was saying about her.... at this point, I kind of want to protect her from that truth because..... I like her.

There. I said it: I like Yoga Girl/La Novia.

Done.

She's great with the kids.

IN FACT just today on the way to preschool The Girl said this: "I love Mommy and Daddy and [The Boy] and Bubbie and Pappa and [La Novia]."

I kind of think that's awesome.

The *real* story is that 11 months AFTER the worst day in our family's history..... we sat down at a table, we talked, I shared our family rules and *welcomed* La Novia into our family as an equal: as one of us. As a result, the kids are happy and loving their time with their Dad and La Novia.

The triumph is NOT is some f*cking sign I made to sell our home.... it's in the fact that I managed to pull through - to pull the children through.... and get us *all* to a place where we truly are ONE Happy Family from TWO HOMES.

Done. Period.

Boof*ckingYah.

And sure... it wasn't easy- El Capitan made some serious mistakes - which have been painfull and honestly retold on this Blog.... but, in the end - we made it.

Together.

THAT's the f*cking story.

That and the fact that I've shed 60 pounds and have someone in my life whom I *af*ckingdore*.

That's kind of really rad.

Sadly.... those aren't stories anyone wants to tell.... so that's why I passed on further interviews for now. If they want to talk about how we healed and how we're doing and how we're co-parenting...then yes. Otherwise.... no thank you.

I do owe an apology to La Novia: I promised you that I would not say negatives things about you, which I did not on the show (did I......?) - however, that was filmed back in January and I detailed what I read on El Capitan's phone. While that is all the truth.... at this point it is irrelevant. The only part that made me wince was hearing 'Bobby' say those things... hearing me say those things - because I sat and wondered fi you were watching and if those things hurt you. I made a promise to protect your identity which I always have.

However, I made a promise to protect you as a member of this family a few weeks ago - and tonight, on the TV from an interview in January, there was no protection, and for that I am sorry.

What happened then is insignificant.

What is happening now *is* significant.

The children love you- they love your mac and cheese and making butterflies with you and going to the zoo. Some women would be threatened by this - by their connection to you, I however.... find it to be a blessing. My children are lucky that you are the woman their father chose to be with you.

*I* am lucky that you were the woman he left us for.

I mean that.

So, tonight my words echoed off the screen and I instantly felt bad because I can't silence them, I can't take them back - and even if it was the truth - what matters is that that was *then* and this is *now* and .... I wasn't protecting you.

I can't go back - so all I can do is say that I'm sorry.

For those who watched the show.... it was all true and accurate for what happened just over a year ago... but - that's not reflective of where we all are now - which is One Happy Family Living in Two Houses.

It was a f*cking rough ass road..... and you are free to read through The Blog to see how we got here.... but thankfully, you'll find us HERE. Happy. Divorced. Whole. Loving. Family. Living.

Boof*ckingyah. :"

15 Comments

Kay H link

5/2/2013 11:39:43 pm

I honestly don't know how you can do it. The way I feel about my husband's girlfriend right now is she could be Mother Theresa and I still would think she's a POS who shouldn't be around my children. To willingly cheat with a married man goes against everything that is honorable and good. To not have enough morals inside of you to say, 'wow, what I'm doing is really horrible and it's going to fuck up some children really good, I should probably stop' is the sign of a weak and selfish person. A person that I don't believe would ever put any one first other than themselves. I feel that way about my husband and the OW. Have they stopped their relationship once the news of the affair came out to protect the children and wait a few months until the divorce is final? No, they didn't. They just carry along their merry ways looking for their happiness. I think that's pretty freaking crappy. I can imagine tolerating the OW for my children's sake but I can't imagine including her in my family. If that works for you and feels good, that's great, I just know that I'm not capable of that. All she can expect at this point is that I won't put her name on the Homewreakers facebook page. http://dowehavetotellthekids.blogspot.com/

Shirley link

5/3/2013 01:18:13 am

I watched the Investigation Discovery piece and thought they did a pretty good job as well. The actress that portrayed you was quite pretty, but I had to laugh at their choosing a pudgy middle aged actor to portray El Capitan. Is he really pudgy and middle aged looking? Your mom portrayed herself and was really cute. I figured the ID piece would stir the pot and bring it all back again. I plan to look for the book the girl in the second story wrote. Evidently he wrote about her in unflattering tones, she turned around and wrote about his flaws, which I took were way worse than hers. But both your story and the second girl's story took a back stage to the piece about the woman who super glued the guy's dumb stick. ROFLMAO! That was priceless.

Theresa

5/3/2013 03:45:46 am

I have no idea what rock I've been living under but apparently I missed this whole sign "news" and your notoriety from it! However lol as I am an avid ID watcher I did see the episode last night and it made me curious enough to find your blog. I haven't read them all but I jump around and fell in love with the way your think and write. It truly is a blessing to "meet" you through your blog and you are amazing because you are a person who can look past her pain to do what is right long term for your kids! I've been divorced for 22 years now (as of May 1st lol but who remembers that!). When we split I was 25 the parent of a 2 week old, plus a 2, 4 and 6 year old and his "yoga girl" had just turned 18. From the time he left in October of 90-November of 91, his girlfriend got pregnant, we got divorced, the 4 kids and I moved into a shelter, he remarried "her" and they had a baby boy. In October of 91, when our son turned 3, I invited both of them to his birthday party and they came. I got to see her "baby belly" and their new wedding rings. Life is what it is and it is never the things that knock us down that matter or define us but how we handle them I've always been glad that I did that, it made the world of difference to our kids although they never know how hard it was for me. Anyway just wanted to say I've felt your pain and I loved being able to read your blog and remember the past, this time finding it much funnier then I did then lol!! Good luck and God Bless, your doing wonderful!! Oh and P.S. after 13 years of marriage and two more kids my ex then traded in his second wife for someone 10 years younger then her...lol yep he's still a douchbag and I promise he isn't popular for his "package" hahaha!!!

Nigel Paice

5/3/2013 04:51:18 am

TV and press to sell your book and you turn it down?

<sad face>

Nigel Paice

5/3/2013 04:51:56 am

I understand why btw but it still makes me sad.

Teresa

5/3/2013 07:50:33 am

I understand exactly how you have become 2 happy families. For 17 years now my kids Dad and I have been divorced and to this day I have never spoken 1 word of hatred or how I felt about what happened in front of my kids. As parents, we must understand that our kids come first. My relationship with their Dad has nothing to do with his relationship with his kids. My kids are now 19 and almost 21, they are well developed, mature young adults that know how others should be treated. By the way, my 19 year old has Autism... and graduated with a regular diploma and is at a special vocational college/school for those with different abilities.

Alex

5/3/2013 08:06:14 am

La Novia hearing those things you didn't want her to hear (about what El Capitan said, etc.,) may not be such a bad thing. She's only 22, and is building her life around this man, I think she deserves all available information. It may have been in the past, but its in the recent past, so it's certainly relevant.

As for you feeling lucky that she is the woman El Capitan left you for, come back from the emotional high of getting along with her. Emotional booms lead to emotional busts. You're giving the impression that she did the right thing and everyone a real favor, and she didn't. She shouldn't be led to believe that, because it's not true, she hurt people, but luckily they weathered it, made their own happiness and were kind and trusting enough to give her a shot at being a positive factor in their lives. She needs to know and recognize that, because she's not the positive force for the kids she wants to be yet, and thinking that she is will leave her unprepared for things to come.

This is a honeymoon period for everyone. There are going to be some real challenges ahead and she'll have to pay the piper sooner or later, especially with the boy. He's coping well now, but like most kids, once he hits his pre-teens and teens all his coping skills will seem to vanish for a while. His life, even if from two loving homes, will be harder and he will mourn his one central home and will hold La Novia accountable for that. If she wants him to be able to recover, she'll need to be prepared to accept his anger is justified and validate it with no self justifications or displacement of blame. That's nothing she'll want to be blindsided with.

5/7/2013 05:52:50 am

Dang. If I ever have a blog, I would hope that you were one of the regular contributors. I found myself chewing on a lot of thoughts after reading this blog entry, and would not have been able to nail it down this clearly.

I definitely sensed that emotional high an almost off-balance-head-in-the-clouds state because of the recent events. Be careful, Elle. One of the great lines in Alex's reponse: "Emotional booms lead to emotional busts". So true, especially in blended families.

I've been a part of a blended family for a good amount of years now, and our ups and downs have taught me to keep my emotions in check, even the (few) moments of elation regarding the other house. It's a difficult situation all around, and this early in the game, people are settling into new roles--La Novia is probably really trying to figure out what role she's even in...take it easy.

I'm not saying a blended family can't be great. There are moments of working together that are triumphant. And there are moments that are absolutely NOT. Even after all these years. And it goes up and down and up and down. Sea legs.

Looking forward to reading about you finding that balance!

Adam Oliver

5/4/2013 10:21:11 pm

Simple solution to your dating problems due to you talking about your divorce on "national f*cking television" ... STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB!! Just let it go. ID will air the show a couple of times and then it will pass on. Close the website and get on with your cute little expanded family.

Lee

5/4/2013 10:24:31 pm

At first I was curious as to why anyone would go to the extremes as you did for revenge! After reading your blog, I've come to respect you as a truly understanding individual. People change and knowing that you have accepted the other woman as an extension to your own family says a lot of your true character! Your husband is a lucky man to have met a woman such as yourself and what a loyal friend you are to him and your kids! Keep up the blog and don't worry about what people say about you on this blog! Stay the way you are and don't ever change to appease anyone!

Andrea

5/4/2013 10:29:14 pm

Hi Elle,

I just saw your segment - it was the first time I watched the show.
I applaud you for taking such an awful situation and turining it into something so positive!

My two siblings and I have the most wonderful relationship with my Dad's ex wife and her husband! It's like I have two sets of parents! Your kids are so lucky. Her two daughters with my dad are my sisters - we never use the word "half-sister" is our family. Extended, blended families are the absolute best!

Secondly, kudos to you on your blog and photography! I will be stopping by often!

A

beth

5/4/2013 10:31:22 pm

I saw your story on Karmas a hitch that's how I found out about your story you say hour over it and your angry tor people still wondering whets going on in your life isn't that whet you wanted? Why all the f bombs? Your angry over what you started you made your life public and you should be proud over the fact that you have grown and moved on from this experience be happy and stop cursing out and blaming other people for something you wanted.sounds like you got some other issues to work on chicane good luck with that!

Mary

5/4/2013 10:53:00 pm

Good for you.. a big step up to embrace the events and find a good thing out of it all. What's best for the kids, everyone happy and being a family is a great way to do it.

Kat

5/12/2013 10:21:12 am

I lost count of how many times you said "f*ck/f*cking/boof*ckingya". First, everyone knows you're saying "fucking". Why censor it? Are 6-year-olds reading your blog? Secondly, when you say it at that frequency, it makes you look vulgar and not very smart.

Melissa

5/14/2013 05:40:59 am

Kat, Elle *is* just a little bit "vulgar" at times, and never apologizes for it. She has said it before, but I'll repeat it for her: if you don't like it, don't read it. Don't read the blog.

As for "...it makes you look...not very smart," this once again proves that "looks" can be deceiving. Elle is brilliant!!!!!!!!

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Elle Zober

Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!

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SITE DISCLAIMER/
POINTS OF FACT:
El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them. :)
The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs. PERIOD.
This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this might be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

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