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Wow, you say so many nice things about me! :) Thanks for that... lol
In the first place - the *sign* might be somewhat "famous" but I certainly don't identify myself *as* famous... though, I rarely meet anyone these days who either doesn't already know who I am - OR - didn't see the sign and then knows the rest of the story immediately. lol
I'm not sure that's "fame"... but it's something.
Let's see.... you know, when I nailed that sign onto our front lawn I was laughing - I thought it was funny. Our *friends* thought it was funny ... our neighbors thought it was classic. No one EVER said or suggested that it would make International freakin' news. When the reporters started calling, by 5pm that day - I was saying no- but my ex thought I should do it so that the house would get on TV and "sell right away". So I did *one* interview.
I didn't know that *after* the local FOX station aired the segment that they would drop our story into online "can" and that ALL the other national and international affiliates could then BUY our story from that can and show it on their station. sigh.
Over that weekend I was on CNN, MSNBC and FOX every few hours.... and then the local channels all over the country picked up our story.... and by Tuesday my story had knocked Tom & Katie's divorce OFF the top spot on Yahoo news and I stayed there for days..... sigh.
TV interview requests came in by the dozen. The phone rang all hours of the day and night.... and I turned down most of them - Dr.Phil, Anderson Cooper, GMA.... and tons more.
It was hard to see my story viral - especially if you read through the comments. Tons and tons of people judging *ME* - saying I was a bad wife to start with - that I was "too fat" and that no man would want to f*ck me anyway... that I deserved for him to cheat because no man would ever want to have sex with me. OR people assuming it was a "revenge" thing - that I was a shitty ex-wife.. on and on and on it goes.
None of that was true. He knew about the sign - saw it, approved it - and helped me pay for them to be ordered. There was no element of "revenge" - we both thought it was a funny way to advertise the sale our home.
So then.... after it got out - and there was all this really bad stuff in the press my ex thought I should start a blog and do interviews to "keep the record straight".... which I did.
I kept his identity and *her* identity a secret - while I don't think she's a super awesome person.... she didn't sign up to have a virtual scarlet letter sewn to her chest... and - you know - she's a human being. She's a baby - only 22 at the time, and no doubt he told her the usual cheating husband lies - and while she *should* have more moral character not to sleep with other people's husbands.... that didn't give me a green light to throw her carcass to the internet wolves and watch them devour her, too.
So. Then, with everything that had happened, my ex kind of fell off the good Dad wagon... BIG TIME. And by then I was blogging - and I was just... being honest.
In many respects, because it not only helped other people, but it also helped *me* sort out my feelings. It really helped me heal and helped me heal quickly - so for that I'm grateful.
At the same time - hundreds of email poured in from children who had lived through their parents similar situations and they said that my honesty - my posts - helped me better understand their own Mother and her pain.
Emails came in from MEN - who had done this to their own loyal wives and only *after* following the blog, did they have a true understanding of all the damage they had done.
Women still email weekly - from the pits of their own emotional hell asking *me* to help them.... like I have a freakin' clue!!?!?! lol But I answer them all - I hold their hands over email and I do my best to try to help them make their own good choices and move on.
So..... the above- is all very important to me. I feel like sometimes we wander this planet roaming from person to person like emotional zombies - too damaged from sh*tty childhoods and past breakups that broke us - and we're just kind of bumping into each other.... not really connecting.
Our interactions are bereft of honesty because we're afraid to show reveal ourselves to other people because the last time we did - we got hurt or rejected or judged.... so we hold back, we keep ourselves to ourselves...
We "date" - but from a distance - over text and online... we keep those cyber walls up to protect us from the world.
Knowing all of that - feeling like I see it around me all the time - I really value the emails and connections I have made with other people. I'm not terribly wise, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a scientist: I'm not curing cancer or finding a cure for AIDS or putting an end to world hunger. Those are things we'd all like to be doing..... but, at least I can say that I've healed a few hearts.
I mean.... how crazy is that - to know that just by sharing your own story, someone else was able to find their own personal healing?
It's incredibly humbling and something I am truly, honestly proud of.
However..... do I like "being a celebrity" or being "famous"...... the answer to that is no. It's hard to have your entire life out there for people you've never met - who have never seen you laugh or cry or just be *human* - they can sit behind their computer keyboards and pass judgement on every little thing you say and do.....
I get labeled as "psycho" and "crazy" - and... there are a lot of people who think I'm a bad mother for having shared all of this online. I suppose in many respects they might be right.... all I can say is that it was NEVER my intention to do any of this. I made a sign to sell our home. Period.
Doing this - The Blog and The Book - has come at a price. There are the obvious hazards, but there is also the fact that some people don't want to date me because of it - it's overwhelming for them.... too intense. I get that - and I respect that - but I can't take it all back now... what's done is done.
And really.... I don't know if I would take it back. I don't mean to sound all melodramatic... but life freaking sucks. Life *really* sucks when you're going through something and you feel alone and broken and ruined... as though you'll never heal - and if I actually helped *one* person heal... then isn't it worth it?
How can I discount the value of having helped others?
I can't.
So.... that's a *really* long, but honest and true answer.... I don't think *I'm* "famous" perse - but the sign certainly is, the story is... so as soon as someone knows it was *my* sign and story - then they usually know exactly who I am.
It's intense.... it's not for everyone, that's for sure.
Wow, you say so many nice things about me! :) Thanks for that... lol
In the first place - the *sign* might be somewhat "famous" but I certainly don't identify myself *as* famous... though, I rarely meet anyone these days who either doesn't already know who I am - OR - didn't see the sign and then knows the rest of the story immediately. lol
I'm not sure that's "fame"... but it's something.
Let's see.... you know, when I nailed that sign onto our front lawn I was laughing - I thought it was funny. Our *friends* thought it was funny ... our neighbors thought it was classic. No one EVER said or suggested that it would make International freakin' news. When the reporters started calling, by 5pm that day - I was saying no- but my ex thought I should do it so that the house would get on TV and "sell right away". So I did *one* interview.
I didn't know that *after* the local FOX station aired the segment that they would drop our story into online "can" and that ALL the other national and international affiliates could then BUY our story from that can and show it on their station. sigh.
Over that weekend I was on CNN, MSNBC and FOX every few hours.... and then the local channels all over the country picked up our story.... and by Tuesday my story had knocked Tom & Katie's divorce OFF the top spot on Yahoo news and I stayed there for days..... sigh.
TV interview requests came in by the dozen. The phone rang all hours of the day and night.... and I turned down most of them - Dr.Phil, Anderson Cooper, GMA.... and tons more.
It was hard to see my story viral - especially if you read through the comments. Tons and tons of people judging *ME* - saying I was a bad wife to start with - that I was "too fat" and that no man would want to f*ck me anyway... that I deserved for him to cheat because no man would ever want to have sex with me. OR people assuming it was a "revenge" thing - that I was a shitty ex-wife.. on and on and on it goes.
None of that was true. He knew about the sign - saw it, approved it - and helped me pay for them to be ordered. There was no element of "revenge" - we both thought it was a funny way to advertise the sale our home.
So then.... after it got out - and there was all this really bad stuff in the press my ex thought I should start a blog and do interviews to "keep the record straight".... which I did.
I kept his identity and *her* identity a secret - while I don't think she's a super awesome person.... she didn't sign up to have a virtual scarlet letter sewn to her chest... and - you know - she's a human being. She's a baby - only 22 at the time, and no doubt he told her the usual cheating husband lies - and while she *should* have more moral character not to sleep with other people's husbands.... that didn't give me a green light to throw her carcass to the internet wolves and watch them devour her, too.
So. Then, with everything that had happened, my ex kind of fell off the good Dad wagon... BIG TIME. And by then I was blogging - and I was just... being honest.
In many respects, because it not only helped other people, but it also helped *me* sort out my feelings. It really helped me heal and helped me heal quickly - so for that I'm grateful.
At the same time - hundreds of email poured in from children who had lived through their parents similar situations and they said that my honesty - my posts - helped me better understand their own Mother and her pain.
Emails came in from MEN - who had done this to their own loyal wives and only *after* following the blog, did they have a true understanding of all the damage they had done.
Women still email weekly - from the pits of their own emotional hell asking *me* to help them.... like I have a freakin' clue!!?!?! lol But I answer them all - I hold their hands over email and I do my best to try to help them make their own good choices and move on.
So..... the above- is all very important to me. I feel like sometimes we wander this planet roaming from person to person like emotional zombies - too damaged from sh*tty childhoods and past breakups that broke us - and we're just kind of bumping into each other.... not really connecting.
Our interactions are bereft of honesty because we're afraid to show reveal ourselves to other people because the last time we did - we got hurt or rejected or judged.... so we hold back, we keep ourselves to ourselves...
We "date" - but from a distance - over text and online... we keep those cyber walls up to protect us from the world.
Knowing all of that - feeling like I see it around me all the time - I really value the emails and connections I have made with other people. I'm not terribly wise, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a scientist: I'm not curing cancer or finding a cure for AIDS or putting an end to world hunger. Those are things we'd all like to be doing..... but, at least I can say that I've healed a few hearts.
I mean.... how crazy is that - to know that just by sharing your own story, someone else was able to find their own personal healing?
It's incredibly humbling and something I am truly, honestly proud of.
However..... do I like "being a celebrity" or being "famous"...... the answer to that is no. It's hard to have your entire life out there for people you've never met - who have never seen you laugh or cry or just be *human* - they can sit behind their computer keyboards and pass judgement on every little thing you say and do.....
I get labeled as "psycho" and "crazy" - and... there are a lot of people who think I'm a bad mother for having shared all of this online. I suppose in many respects they might be right.... all I can say is that it was NEVER my intention to do any of this. I made a sign to sell our home. Period.
Doing this - The Blog and The Book - has come at a price. There are the obvious hazards, but there is also the fact that some people don't want to date me because of it - it's overwhelming for them.... too intense. I get that - and I respect that - but I can't take it all back now... what's done is done.
And really.... I don't know if I would take it back. I don't mean to sound all melodramatic... but life freaking sucks. Life *really* sucks when you're going through something and you feel alone and broken and ruined... as though you'll never heal - and if I actually helped *one* person heal... then isn't it worth it?
How can I discount the value of having helped others?
I can't.
So.... that's a *really* long, but honest and true answer.... I don't think *I'm* "famous" perse - but the sign certainly is, the story is... so as soon as someone knows it was *my* sign and story - then they usually know exactly who I am.
It's intense.... it's not for everyone, that's for sure.
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