For the record, I'll start by saying that The Bubbie *only* ever uses Barilla pasta: it's her favorite.
In a radio interview the fourth generation "owner" of Barilla pasta, Guido Barilla, answered a question about whether or not he would ever use a gay family in one of his commercials - and he said he would not.
"I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don't agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role," Barilla, 55, said in an interview with Radio 24 on Wednesday.
Later he said this gem:
"For us the concept of the sacred family remains one of the basic values of the company," he told Italian radio on Wednesday evening. "I would not do it but not out of a lack of respect for homosexuals who have the right to do what they want without bothering others … [but] I don't see things like they do and I think the family that we speak to is a classic family."
Sacred. Family. Values.
Hmm..... I always find this topic interesting. Mostly because I *HAD* sacred family values. I loved my family. I adored my children... and my husband, for that matter. I worked hard, paid our bills... paid *his* personal bills. I loved him and made dinner and made sure every Christmas and Birthday he ever had was *Amaze balls* - and oh..... yeah - *his* value's included the bed of another woman.
Is there a Barilla commercial for that?
Like.... you know- some fat bastard husband and his kids sit down to a meal and his kind (though clearly not "hot" wife) serves them a fine pasta dinner and then said fat bastard hits the bedroom for "dessert" with a hotty? Hmm.... probably not.
I'm also guessing that Barilla commercials don't show hardworking single Dad's sitting down to a pasta dinner *they* made their kids... sans a wife who left him/them for someone else or died in an accident or from cancer or some other horrible disease.... yeah - obviously single Dad's don't have family values.
And clearly when it comes to families with two Dad's or two Mom's.... well - *those* people clearly don't have any kind of family values.... right?
I mean - for *most* (not all) male/female couples they have sex and boom - get a baby!
Done. (most... not all people... don't freak the fuck out on me.)
For same sex couples they have to find sperm or an egg donor or a surrogate.... they have to pay thousands and *thousands* of dollars just to TRY to get pregnant... and anyone who has done infertility treatments know that I say *TRY* to get pregnant because the success rate for you banging your wife and knockin her up is waaaaaaaaay higher than two woman armed with baby dreams and a turkey baster of donated sperm.
But you know, it goes without saying that gay people are all sexual deviants who lack a moral compass and family values... unlike their 'traditional family' counterparts. Right?
Classic family...... Mr. Barilla, are you serious? How many *classic* families do you know, exactly?
So, I can *safely* assume that EVERYONE in the Barilla family empire is still married to their FIRST spouse, has never cheated or been left or remarried... but they ALL live in a "classic family" as you defined it?
Somehow.... I doubt that.
Now. Aside from the *extremely* offensive assumption that simply because I live with a woman, who lovingly and committedly co-parents the children, *we* do live in a "classic family" that has "value".... so. fucking. offensive.. let's be honest and make the point that Mr. Barilla is *NOT* telling gay people not to eat his pasta - he simply suggested that they were free to eat other pasta if they didn't like what he had to say... and he's right.
And they will.
But... not only the deviant "they" - but their families and allies who love them and support the right and belief that all love is equal and that *ALL* families have value.... those *they* might also choose not to purchase your Barilla pasta.
So, you might be saying to yourself... "Big deal... a few queers don't sit down to spaghetti. Whatever."
But. It could be a big deal for you and for the people who rely on your for a living....
Mr. Barilla, it's clear that you have lived a privileged life. One of fine suits and higher education and nice cars..... what a blessing. In that education, someone should have shared with you the importance of keeping your fucking mouth shut. Let me tell you why.
YOU are not me.
YOU are not God.
YOU do not get to judge me, or people like me..... and tell me - nay - tell my CHILDREN that we do not live in a "classic family" that has "value" simply because a woman occupies the man's seat at my dinner table.
Perhaps you are threatened by this.....? Well, you probably should be, Hail Mary is a better 'man' than most I have met. just sayin'.....
I wish, however, that you could walk a day in my shoes.... you could see that my own definition for what a "classic family" was has changed so much in the last year.... and not because I ever wanted it too.
As a young girl, I knew that I liked girls, and that I most certainly liked them more than I liked boys... but, much like you, I thought that a "family" was defined by a Mom and a Dad and some number of cute, curly topped kid-lets - who I would love cleaning up after, cooking for and raising.... and there we would be: happy, content, whole.
But that didn't happen.
Like millions of families around the globe, mine was rocked by infidelity and unspoken unhappiness... and my "classic family" was taken away from me - but more importantly, it was taken away from my children. Working *hard* to re-define us as a "family" that now lived in two houses and doing it in a manner that helped my kids heal and become whole, happy beings in spite of the brokenness around them was no small task.
Then I had to heal myself. I had to think about my own future and that of my children and any future partners.... and thankfully, I decided that I had tried it the worlds way, the regilgous way - YOUR WAY - that whole 'classic family' thing.... but now I needed to follow my instincts: I had to accept who I was. A lesbian.
Then I had to redefine family a third time.... and in my case: that's all me - a woman playing the fundamental role of my family.
Isn't that what you wanted to show people in your commercial?
You can see why I'm so confused.
You see, Mr. Barilla, our family is now one family living in two houses with four people who co-parent two children - three are women and one is a man.... I'm more worried about making sure it's a whole, happy, communicative family. I'll settle for that over "classic" any day....
You absolutely have the right to have your "classic" opinions about families and gay people and how you even said they should be allowed to adopt children.... but you should know that your opinions are just that: yours.
You don't get to define me.
You don't get the power to define my family.
And you're right..... gay people CAN choose not to eat your pasta, sadly you seem to be under the impression and your opinions and permission were required in the first place: they were not.
The good news for me is that at Wal-Mart your Barilla pats is $1.28 per box. I can get the same weight and shape pasta in the Wal-Mart brand for $.88.... so I haven't been 'rich enough' to buy your pasta for some time now... and thank fuck for that. So, no need for me "boycott" buying it.
Hey.... look at that: poverty has it's benefits.
In response to the blog comment below:
Everyone *is* allowed to have their own *PERSONAL/RELIGIOUS* beliefs.... however, when you are selling a product to EVERYONE... it's wise to keep your judgmental, offensive opinions to yourself. Or... like certainly bakeries, you might find yourself closing your doors due to a lack of customers.
You're *exactly* right - however... when Mr. Barilla INSISTS that a "classic family" is a Mom and a Dad - and that THAT is the only "demonstration" of family values.... is he not forcing his opinion on me?
I believe it is. Sorry - but it is.
Sigh. This is a blog. You can read it.... or not. I'm not selling you anything. I'm not profiting. THIS is a place for opinion.... :)