I have so many mixed emotions about it. On so many levels I think he could benefit... on so many others: I'm scared sh*tless for him to be out in the big, bad world.....
Hail Mary makes a good point.... she say's that The Boy will face bullying and adversity *sometime* in his life, and better he start to learn the tools you need to function within that - at school, later on in life at work, etc..... I suppose she has a point.
So today Hail Mary and I took the kids school clothes shopping. I'm not entirely sure *what* is "popular" for 8 year old boys these days.... so I just stuck with our usual staple: Tony Hawk.
They made it to the dressing room before me with a few things while I still collecting sizes - so when I approached the man running the area I said, "Did you see my girl and my two kids go into room?"
"No," he replied, "There's a man and two kids though."
I could hear the kids laughing and talking, and I could also hear the baritone of Hail Mary's voice, so I said, "Oh no, that's my girlfriend, we're gay..... that's a girl in there. " and I smiled.
Instantly the nice man turned beat red and said, "Oh honey! I AM TOO!!!! I didn't see them go in.... I only heard her talking.... I'm so sorry!"
No worries, I told him....no worries.... Hail Mary has a deep voice, so that's an easy mistake to make. lol
Later, he saw me leaving the dressing rooms with them and gave me a wink an a "nod of approval" at Hail Mary, and I thought that was pretty cute.
Usually.... it's just me taking the kids to the stores, endlessly trying on various sizes and types of skinny jeans and shirts with skateboards and stripes and skeletons on them..... and is it *just me* or do they actually heat those freakin' dressing rooms? I always seem to be a sweaty miserable mess after shoving my kid into 8 pairs of jeans to find the 'right ones'.
THIS TIME.... however: it was different.
Instead of frustration and annoyance.... I went back and forth for clothes while Hail Mary sat in the dressing room with the kids - entertaining them by letting them take pictures of each other in the dressing room with her smart phone, and when that failed, she downloaded a "dress your princess" app on her phone.
The Girl was in *heaven*.
So, we procured clothes that are (hopefully) whatever the not-so-nerdy-kids are wearing..... and then we went to look at shoes and I have to admit.... I was kind of pissy. I was haggard and stressed and I was just kind of in a pissy mood...... Hail Mary took me aside later and said..... "You gotta' learn to let go a little bit more. I know in the past, it was just you doing this kind of stuff - but I'm here now and I *like* to do this kind of stuff. So, you gotta calm down and not get so stressed out about it all......"
Damn. I kind of hate it when Hail Mary is right. I *do* find it hard to relax and let someone else actually help me by taking over some of my "mom" duties.... but the issue isn't just control - it's getting used to the idea that someone is in our lives who *wants* to do these kinds of things with us - who *wants* to be there and is there to help.
The kids get it..... and they love it. They can't wait for Hail Mary to come over and then there is *much* discussion over what we would do..... so after we went shopping, I stayed home to make dinner (and prove to Hail Mary that I am *not* the worlds best cook) Hail Mary walked to the park with the kids... and stayed there with them for almost an hour.
And that was *after"* Hail Mary ran a race yesterday - the kind where they pin numbers to your chest and everything...... they walked there, played for an hour and walked home..... she even handled the "mother of all meltdowns" that was hosted by The Girl.
Hail Mary said that The Girl wanted to take her shirt off when they got to the park and Hail Mary told her that (for the most part), girls keep their shirts on in public which resulted in The Girl going ballistic and sobbing her eyes out..... to which Hail Mary showed her to a park bench, explain (again) that you have to keep all your clothes on at the park and that when she calmed down she could join her and The Boy on the playground.
Perfect. I couldn't have handled it better.
So..... there are lots of changes going on around here and frankly..... the kids seem to be more open to them than I am! lolololol But I'm working on it.... working on letting go, working on being 'less in control' and working on relaxing......
Mostly, I'm trying to work on being a healthy part of the changes that are going on..... :)