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Book Me!!!!!

1/27/2013

9 Comments

 
Wow.

So Friday was *insane*. 

First of all, YUMMY Cupcakes were sent to via from Cupcake Jones - award winning bakery in downtown Portland... (and my FAVORITE bakery ever!) - and from my wonderful friend and fellow author, Becki Duckworth.  I was very grateful for their kindness and I'm happy to report that I saved a few and the next day the kids were treated to the worlds YUMMIEST cupcakes, in bed for breakfast!!! :)
Second.... the place was pretty packed, which totally shocked Barnes & Noble!  The wonderful lady who organizes these kinds of events had warned me several times that they usually expect 10 - 20 people at a 'signing' - that people just don't come out at night for them..... but, MY friends said Friday at 7pm, so against the B&N ladies advice - we went for it.

NEARLY 100 people came out (according to the *Very* surprised B&N lady!) - just to see (not-so-little) ole' me... and I have to say, it was equal parts thrilling and nerve-wracking.  Having to get up in front of *all* those pairs of eyes and read for *ten minutes*..... I'll tell you what:  that's a really long a$$ time.  I read from the chapter where I first find out about Yoga Girl (who is still Ugly Baby Teeth) at the time - editing out the swear words because I felt like we were a bit close to the children's department. lololol - but it didn't seem like anyone listening minded... in fact, people were laughing (with me not at me for once) - and I threw in a few little tid-bits here and there while I read.

After the reading, there was a brief Q&A and then ..... *all* the books SOLD OUT. 

Yup.... I SOLD OUT my Barnes & Noble.  That's just..... really, really cool. 

There were so many people who came - and sooooo many people I didn't know!  I was really touched that these nice people spent their Friday night with me... and bought a book!  There just aren't words of gratitude that would suffice.....

I really cannot thank Barnes & Noble, all the people who came and Cupcake Jones enough.  It was *truly* a once in a lifetime event.... and I was so proud to be standing up there.  Thank you for providing me such an amazing opportunity.
wow.

THEN....... Miss Cyndie secretly arranged for a party room at a local restaurant and alllllll my *favorite* usual suspects went over there for dinner/desert and drinks..... Jenny-Jen-Jen, Jenny B., Miss Chloe.... and the wonderful Miss Sarah O who actually DROVE all the way from Idaho to attend the event!!!!!  Which *really* blew my mind..... I think it goes without saying that I have some pretty *awesome* friends....  Not the least of whom Nicolle Camarata who MC'd the night and introduced me.  I've known Nicolle for 12 years - the first night I met her she was working an event with Pink and I was shooting it.  Since then, I've done *almost* all of her photography and we've been great friends... *blessed*.

After we closed down the restaurant, we then 'closed down' the parking lot - talking and laughing until our toes were too cold to stand anymore.... it was A.MAZ.ING.  Truly.

Saturday was good, El Capitan came for his time with the children, which they love and get really excited about - which is super sweet to see.  I am less excited... hahahaha.  And I wasn't super thrilled to find out that their visit was getting cut short so El Capitan could go to a Blazer game with a friend.... but I guess you can't control what night a game falls on.

The kids had a good time, for which I was grateful - and I spent the time having lunch with The Bubbie and my Sisiter-in-Law.

Overall.... the weekend was (for the first time in months) without any kind of notable event... any kind of emotional distraction that would let some of the air out my balloons.... until Sunday that is.

We were driving, I was listening to my Twilight soundtrack (of course) - and suddenly I hear The Boy saying... "You know what Mom.... Daddy lied to me."

ahhhhh.... crap.

"Oh, what about?"  I ask.

"Well, you know the day that we took [The Girl] to the doctor and I was sitting with Daddy ...... I asked him how [Yoga Girl] was and he like got kind of mad at me and he just said "I don't have a girlfriend buddy.... let's not talk about it."  The Boy explained.

"Okay.... "  I reply... unsure where to go with this.

"And yeah, because that was in Daddy's mad voice.... but THENNNNNN (which he say's very loud and long-winded while holding up one hand and 'ticking off' his fingers) last week he told me that [Yoga Girl'] was "that serious" or important and stuff... but - that she *was* his girlfriend."  The Boy stated.

"Yes, I can see why you might be confused about that."  I replied.

"So.... Daddy has a girlfriend, but he doesn't want to talk about her."  The Boy replied.

"It would seem that way, but if you want to talk about things, just tell your Dad that you want to talk about it and he will, just like I will."  I said.

"I know.... I know.  But, that means that Daddy was a liar to me because first he said there wasn't a girlfriend and now he said there IIIIISSSSS one - but I don't have to meet her.  And you know what Mom?"  He exclaims.

"What buddy?"  I replied.

"I don't WANT to meet [Yoga Girl] because she's a rude girl who's like a bully and takes stuff away from people...."  He stated matter of factly.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I understand why you feel that way but I'm glad you talked to your Dad, and it's ok for you to feel that way right now - and it's also okay for you to change your mind and your feelings later.... just remember that, ok?"  I tell him.

"I Knoooooowwww Mom.... I know."  conversation over.
*nearly* a perfect weekend.... nearly.

I talked to the counselor - asking if I should 'defend' Yoga Girl to The Boy (thinking that I should say, "get to know her before you decide..." or whatever) - but they said no.  I actually don't know Yoga Girl - and what I do know it's far off The Boy's current opinion - so, they said I would be lying to say she's something other than he thinks.  In his world, she's a 'bully' much like one on a playground - who takes your toys or your place in the lunch line.  So I left it alone and didn't bring the subject back up with him.....

(and before ya'll write me and holler at me.... I *do not* talk about Yoga Girl in front of the kids or around the kids... I don't have much to say about her - frankly.  AND -  according to the counselor, his interpretation of Yoga Girl is keeping within how a child his age views the world and the people in it.... so there it is.)

So I just continue to focus on the idea that people in your life can change - good or bad, and you have to be open to the change, open to people being different later.  I only hope that is sinking in for... well, all of us, to be honest.

There is *one* bit of "Blog" business I wanted to bring up.

Last week I was approached by an online ad firm - they seek out blogs and websites that have a certain number of visitors/hits and approach them about adding ads to their site.  I reviewed their proposal (which pays pretty well) - but...... it takes over half the main header image, and the ENTIRE right 1/3 of the web page ... with ads. 

Pop-Up ads.
Video ads that start up without you pressing play (those frequently care the *crap* out of me lol)
Ads.... ads.... ads.

I thought about it.  The Book, while a great accomplishment, isn't going to contribute to our monthly finances in any kind of meaningful way..... and this ad firm's proposal was tempting......
But I turned it down.

In the first place, I'm *barely* a blogger.... lololol.  At least sometimes I feel that way.
In the second place, I started this blog from an emotional place of honesty and putting a giant 'Target' ad right smack in the middle of it made it seem..... less somehow.

It's the easy thing... that's for sure.  The simple thing.  The lucrative thing to do.
However...... I want to do the right thing. 
And a blog that becomes 1/3 full of ads just didn't fell like the right thing for me to do.

Instead, because I'm still a single Mom (have we not beat that drum enough around here?) - another blogger suggested an actual "subscription" to The Blog.  I toyed around with this and decided that for those who have asked in the past, those who come here every day - this is a reasonably decent idea.

There will be three ways to 'subscribe' - $2.00. $5.00 and $10.00 - paid one time per month.
Honestly... if *everyone* who reads the paid 'subscribed' for just $2.00 a month - I could replace El Capitans entire salary. hahahaha  No.  REALLY. :)

I don't think everyone will - not by a loooooong shot.  But, whoever does, I can use the money to offset the cost of school fee's and clothes and raising the children. 

There are *many* of you who (kindly and *amazingly*) come here every day to read The Blog as apart of your morning routine.... and $2.00 isn't even the cost of a cup of coffee.
Over time, I'm thinking about putting up some short stories or essay's in a password protected portion of the site as a 'bonus' for people who do subscribe - but there would be NO other changes to The Blog or the information (and the availability of the posts) will remain the same.

I hope you will understand why I'm putting this idea forward - and I thank you in advance for your consideration. :)



Three Ways 2 Luv Me
9 Comments
Natasha
1/27/2013 10:28:43 pm

Congratulations on your successful book signing! If I live in your area I would have loved to go!

You are doing a great job with your children. You shouldn't have to defend yourself --- all people have to do is read through your blog. In addition what he is saying doesn't even sound like something an adult says to "poison" a child's opinion. Letting him know that it is okay if he changes his mind in the future is very reassuring. Kids are so much smarter than people give them credit for--and they also see things very black and white--there are no "white lies" or reasons why people lie--it is just lying. I find it so sad that there aren't more people in his life holding him accountable and calling him out on his behavior. True friends do that.

I think you should reconsider the ad offer... Honestly I know where the mute button on my computer is :) I would even click on them if it brought you more money.

Reply
Shirley link
1/28/2013 12:06:23 am

No surprise the book signing was such a successful event. You really need to have more confidence in yourself. After reading the book and seeing what a fabulous exciting life you had BC (before El Capitan) and now read in the blog how you put yourself down in ways and have no confidence in yourself in other ways, I can only attribute that change in your psyche to AC (after El Capitan came into your life.) And speaking of El Capitan, I am surprised none of his "friends" have yet outed his name and yoga girl's name to the media. However, I feel the clock is running on that one ... tick tick tick. As to ads on blogs, they scare me and sometimes my puter locks up. Would hate to see you go that way, so I'm happy to subscribe.

Reply
Meredith
1/28/2013 02:29:38 am

I went ahead and chose the $2.00 a month subscription but I'm curious. With the different prices does that mean you will get more with one than the other and if so what comes with each subscription. This will help me to better choose for next month! Without a doubt you rock Elle! Subscribing was a no brainer for me! Keep it coming.

Reply
Noni
1/28/2013 04:05:27 am

What is the difference between the "Three ways 2 luv me"?

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Susan G.
1/28/2013 04:29:30 am

Elle, I'm a new reader and I strongly support you adding adds! A lot of blogs do this and I absolutely see no reason why you shouldn't make something for the time you spend "entertaining" complete strangers. For the record, I first came here after seeing your story on the news - and I have become a fan of yours and am rooting for your success in working through all the challenges that your life circumstances are throwing at you. If you go to any of the most successful blogs you will see that they have ads, and it doesn't distract a bit. Rethink this please. The ads give you something that you need....plus it helps validate your importance ;)

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Vicki link
1/28/2013 04:53:14 am

C.O.N.G.R.A.T.U.L.A.T.I.O.N.S! So glad you had a great turn out for your book signing (I knew you would), Now take it on the road - you know there's many of us out here in cyberspace cheering you on and we want to see you take this to the top. Wow...good job!

Reply
Melissa
1/28/2013 05:54:51 am

Great idea, Elle! Here's $5 a month from me!!! I hope others do the same!

I was thrilled to "read" that the book signing was a success! I knew it would be! Just think...you thought noone would show up... :)

Reply
Melissa
1/28/2013 11:46:17 pm

Elle, you should probably also explain to people that if they click your PayPal link to contribute, it actually sets it up as a RECURRING PAYMENT. Which means the same amount will be paid each month until they login and cancel the paymetn with PayPal.

To manage recurrent payments, go to this link:

https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_manage-paylist


Reply
Melissa
1/28/2013 11:50:59 pm

Elle, you should probably also explain to people that if they click your PayPal link to contribute, it actually sets it up as a RECURRING PAYMENT. Which means the same amount will be paid each month until they login and cancel the paymetn with PayPal.

I tried to post this message with a link to where to manage recurring paymetns at PayPal, but it wouldn't let me post. So I'm removing the link. To manage, to to PayPal and "search" on "cancel recurring payment" and you'll find the link for more info on the recurrent payment service (i.e. you don't have to cancel, but be informed).

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    Buy The Book!
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    also available on Kindle!!!!!

    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
    You can see some of Elle's photography at:
    http://www.zoberimages.com/
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    This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this *might* be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
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Scorned, slighty bitter but still, grateful and very happy... life is good.
PS.... you *WILL find errors in grammar, spelling and otherwise... I am just a Mom - now a 'single Mom' who
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