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Bitter Tweets.... 

1/16/2013

6 Comments

 
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 The day of The Book launch draws near.... and I have to admit... it's a little bit exciting. 

Well... ok:  a lot exciting.

I'm not sure too many more *really* exciting things are going to happen to me.... at least not until the kids graduate and get married and have babies of their own.... *that* will be more exciting.....

In the mean time... there's not a whole lot else going on in  *my* personal life aside from The Book.  So I'm pretty excited.  I don't know ... it sounds silly, but really, I'm actually kind of honored.
Does that sound lame?

Anyhow......

Once this last part of this crazy, amazing ride ..... life will once again return to totally normal and I'm still trying to figure out how to support us.  sigh.  Anyone who say's that money can't buy you happiness has never been a single Mom living (gratefully) in someone else's spare room and shelling out a small mint for health insurance.  Trust me.... money would be stability, a home, food, health insurance - those things add up to happiness.  Believe it.

The thing is... I'm not alone.  Ok... so no one is going to show up and pay my bills, which is fine - but I'm not *alone*.- I've gotten so many emails lately from women going through the same thing as me.  Story upon story about husbands who traded in their wives - for whatever reason - and in doing so, took with them the financial security these women once knew.  I take a small amount of encouragement from that, because if other people can figure this out, then it gives me hope that I will figure this out.

Even still..... while we never had "money" - we never got ahead, had a savings or whatever... when there was *two* of us, it seemed more stable, at least I felt safe: even if that was a false sense of security.  A false sense of security is better than no feeling at all. lol

It's strange to be at this place of uncertainly in my life.  When I was younger... much younger and a lot lighter - uncertainty was a welcome thing.  I could dream about the future and it seemed like allll kinds of things were possible - that nothing stood in my way.

Now, though - there are obstacles everywhere I look. 

It's not that I don't have "hope" - but... I'm a realist.  Life is going to be a lot harder now, starting over at 37, then it was starting over again at 25... that doesn't mean it can't be done, it's just going to be a lot harder.

It doesn't upset me anymore - doesn't take me to that dark pit in my stomach where anger and bitterness meet and dance the night away ..... however, it does still stun me that people can do this to other people.  It's mind boggling that one person can make one simple choice and destroy so many other things in the process....
sigh.

I think that that is why El Capitan has agreed to The Blog and The Book - I think that he hopes that I can actually make something out of all this.  Perhaps he's hoping that if I can walk away from this with a job?  a new career?  then he won't have to feel so bad about having ruined our entire life.  I, for one, don't see either of those things happening, however, I'm at least grateful that he continues to be supportive of both of them and of my doing them..... I think it's safe to say that other men in his shoes would not be so supportive.

It's not much - but I do have to give him props where they're due.... right?

I just keep trying to find that balance where we can co-exist for the sake of the kids in some kind of world where we don't argue.... where he doesn't get alllll kind of "you're stalking me" and blah blah blah... but I think that will come after he and Yoga Girl break up - I think that there is *a lot* of conversation that goes on so that *she* feels better.  Let me explain.

Tonight I caught an interview with LeAnn Rimes - I've blogged about her before....   She was caught cheating with Eddie Cibrian who was married to Brandi Glanville and had two young boys at the time.  To this day, LeAnn seems bereft of any kind of ..... ownership for the pain she caused Brandi.

I don't know Brandi.... but I know her pain, and I know it well.  too well.

Today LeAnn was just a bitter and angry in her 'new' interview as she usually is.... it's like she seems to think that Brandi and the general public who *aren't* impressed with her decision making should just 'get over it' - because you know... her and Eddie are *true love*.  gag.

I find it more than painfully annoying that LeAnn seems to think that *her* "love" with Eddie overshadowed or was more important or 'valid' than that of Brandi's love with Eddie - to whom she was married at the time.

MIND. BOGGLING.

As the interview went on details of the on-going feud between LeAnn and Brandi were discussed... int he first place, it's been TWO YEARS.  Two years?  Seriously?

If I'm *still* that angry over El Capitan in TWO YEARS.... please take me out to pasture and put me out of my misery.... put us *all* out of that misery.  Good Grief.

I get it.... it sucks, it should've have happened - I think LeAnn and Eddie are total douchebags and I will *never* spend a dime on her music or his movies:  period.  But Brandi is *gorgeous*.... you can't tell me that she doesn't have men - just as rich and handsome and charming as Eddie chasing her down?

Two years later.... my nether region had better not be full of cobwebs and scorned tears... that's all I'm sayin'.

Then.... even though I can barely stand to look at LeAnn... she *almost* kind of/sort of started to redeem herself a teeny-teeny bit...... the reporter was discussing a "twitter feud" where LeAnn had posted something rather benign (IMHO) - "Off to vacation with My boys!"

Brandi came right back with a tweet about how it was really *HER* children and HER boys.... and how LeAnn was just trying to upset and was being 'transparent' about it.

I can *fully* understand Brandi's annoyance..... I know that one day another woman will be spending time with my children and I'm fairly sure that I will be *insanely* jealous of that.  Like.... I'm pretty sure that's going to be the second most painful event after the cheating itself.

However... LeAnn say's she wants the children to live in the same love at their Father's house that they live in at their Mother's house.....

And for one bright, shiny moment..... LeAnn shed her douchey skin and the common sense, good morals and kind heart of a real woman showed through...... (however, that moment was a tad brief).

Two years ago, LeAnn was *very much* in the wrong.... no doubt about it, but two years *later* and after Eddie has married LeAnn - putting her into the LEGAL role of "stepmother"..... ugh... and it actually hurts my fingers to type this..... Brandi needs to grow up.
sigh.

Those words *will* come back to haunt me.... when I'm wearing Brandi's shoes.... however, I've said it a hundred times;  no child died because too many parents loved them.
Period.

She may have been a cheap, husband stealing whore at one point... but *now* - two years later, she's the stepmother to your children.... like it or not, and again... it actually hurts my fingers to type this but.... the truth of the matter is - LeAnn should be supported by Brandi in the role of 'stepmother'.
sigh again.

I look forward to the day when another woman tweets or facebooks with glee about doing anything with my kids..... sure, having step parents are confusing to some degree - but having people in their lives who want to spend time with them - go on adventures with them.... *that* is a huge blessing.

Having a step parent who loves and supports them is a blessing that *every* child from a divorced family deserves - and not nearly enough of them get it.

While I still reserve my right as a Scorned Wife to maintain a certain amount of disdain for LeAnn.... however, two years, married and a step-mother later..... My Kid's Mother find herself *more* annoyed at the idea that Brandi participates in discouraging the excitement of her kids Step-Mother... that's a bad plan.

What's Brandi going to do if she chases off LeAnn and then her children live through a second divorce.... and who the hell does Eddie hook up with next?  At least LeAnn feels somewhat guilt and that no doubt fuels her desire (on some level) to ensure she steps up with the kids who's happy home she helped destroy. 

The next woman Eddie cheats with... I mean - marries - might not feel so warm and fuzzy about Brandi's "boys"... and what would she do then?

Me........?  I look forward - with pain my heart, a pit in my stomach - to the day when some reasonably nice woman gets excited about spending time with my kids in the role of 'step mother'......

Thankfully.... I said "woman" - not girl child... so I'm pretty sure this will never apply to Yoga Girl.
hahahahahahaha


6 Comments
Kay
1/16/2013 06:17:48 pm

LOL... you are adorable! Great Post. Do you *really* think any *woman* will stay with El Caption when she asks him:

So, what does your EX wife do for a living.

And, well he replies "She blogs, lives off telling the world about how her El Caption cheated on her with a 22 year old Yoga Girl"

I love the thought of that!!!!

And, I agree... Brandi get over it, LeAnn, grow up a little more.

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Christina
1/17/2013 04:59:50 am

It's so funny that you bring Brandi & LeAnne up, because I've thought about their situation many a time. I have felt just like you . . . that there could never be too many people who love your children. I'm a parent and I've been a "step parent". I think that you have great "thoughts" when it comes to your blog post today. The problem is that you AREN'T thinking of how it would be or how you would feel if Yoga Girl was the step parent. I've alway said to my ex husband that I would love it for him to find a woman to share his life with that would love my children and that I could chat with about them or their school activities, etc.... that WASN'T the girl he left me & broke up our family for. The hard part is when that girl is the one spending time with your children when you should. Or tucking them into bed when you should be. Or any number of things.... because they didn't just show up in their lives...... that girl "stole" them. That's how I feel about it. I think that you are hoping that Yoga Girl just goes away one day ... especially since she seems to not want anything to do with your children. Sadly, I have lived this same thing.. and figured that the 19 yr old child that took my husband would fade away. She had no interaction with my children AT ALL for 4 years & never seemed to care too. Never met them. Never was a part of any of their lives.... except for the part where she was sleeping with their father and got to "date" him, while his 'childrens mother' was with them. But after 4 years.... she met them. And now she's around them. Playing with them. Spending time with them. And it's been 2 years since then. I keep praying she will go away and that a "woman" will be a part of their lives that I can respect and be happy about. The only saving grace, is that my ex is at least decent in the fact that for the 6 years, he's never brought her to anything I would be at. Never a sporting or school event, nothing. She's not there when we drop off or pick up kids. I only have to "hear" about her.. never see her or speak with her. But sadly, she is still "there".
I SOOOOO hope for you that Yoga Girl is just a phase and that in the end there will be a decent woman for you to be able to respect as someone helping parent your children. I hope that for myself too (but doubtful.. lol).

Reply
Melissa
1/17/2013 05:05:26 am

Regarding giving EC "props" where they are due...I'm sorry, but I still think you're giving him credit he doesn't deserve. Why? Because ultimately you don't owe him ANYTHING. You NEVER needed his "permission" (or blessing, or support, or whatever you want to call it) to do the sign, the blog, or the book. Nada. He made his choice without your "support"--you can make your own choices without his.

So...please stop giving him props. Give them to yourself. :)

Reply
Jaimey
1/18/2013 02:31:54 pm

Amen. this is what I say too. But Elle is Elle is Elle. She will give props and make sure it's ok because that is who she is. Kind to a fault. I love you dearly Elle, but Sir Dick face needs a swift kick in his boy parts and not any more props or credit. THAT is what he deserves.

Reply
emma
1/17/2013 06:08:08 am

ok. I also tahink YG won't be around long. But what if she is? What if they do get married and she does become (shudder) step mom? Would you feel differently then? I'm sure you would try and make the best of it but knowing the disrespect she already had for your family - for your children even, wouldn't it be hard to see her reffering to your children as hers? Knowing that she told you she wants nothing to do with them.

I am not much for the celeb talk so I am only reffering to your situation really. I don't even know who some of those celebs are
*blush* . But who knows, there may be more there than that he cheated on her with him and lost her family. Maybe there are other conversations that went on with simular themes. Seems to me that in public and to try to fix ones image that it is possible a different face and game is played in front of the camera. As I said, I really don't know all the players there.

I do think that the best interest of the children should be the priority of all parents and step parents after a divorce. Being angry at the step parent and trying to sabotage relationships with him or her with the children is petty at best when it is done out of revenge. It's the kids that pay, yet again. However, Sometimes the step parent is not a good person. They don't want someone else's kids and take out their own jealousy on the kids .

My parents divorced when I was very young and I had it many ways. I went though a series of step parents on one side, and on the
other side I had the most amazing step parent ever.

Two loving awesome couples as parents to your kids would be great, and I hope it does go that way. You can't have too many people who love you, I agree with that.

Reply
Alex
1/17/2013 09:07:33 am

Elle! This is the first time I think you've been a little too hard on someone rather than being too patient! ;)>

I can't blame Brandi for not wanting LeeAnne Rhimes to think of the kids as "hers" because God knows what that would entail. She has to be the most self involved celebrity I've ever seen in an interview, and that's saying something.

Plus, given all the taunting of his wife she's done via Twitter, I can imagine that LeeAnne Rhimes was using that Tweet as a passive aggressive way of sticking it to his wife, since she seems to get off on doing that for some reason. At best I can see her posting it to make herself look good by making it look like she gives a &$@ about the kids, despite all evidence to the contrary.

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    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
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