I spent far too much time then thinking about what that meant.... like - are they saying that people should never get divorced? As in - kids "need" both parents in ONE house?
I mean... it's not that it's not a not noble goal and all... but - speaks just in statistics: that's getting less likely every day. Right or wrong, more marriages are fully failing than are not... and those only count for the people who actually just call it quits and get a full divorce. Not everyone does that.
In that case.... I kind of find this bumper sticker a wee bit offensive. I'm certainly not in disagreement that kids *need* both parents.... that's absolutely true, but (and this is me going on a hunch) - as this sticker was plastered next to a ROMNEY sticker and the white silhouette of a fish was situated to the right of these.... I'm going to go waaaaaay out (to the far right) on a limb and suggest that this family intended their sticker to refer to what is commonly called the "nuclear family".
Again.... it's a super nice thought.
Kind of like leprechauns and Unicorns and the idea that Tony The Tiger could quite possibly come bounding in my back door to join us for breakfast so long as we (that two parent nuclear family) are all sitting down a nice big bowl of Frosted Flakes.... what? It *could* happen.
I, however, don't live a land of rainbows and well-wishes and good thoughts.... I live in world where a helmet and a sense of f*cking humor are not only required... but are just about the *only* thing that's going to get you through the day..... oh - and the only thing 'nuclear' about our family is the temper tantrum I'm trying not to throw... lololol
I don't know ..... all kidding aside, I guess it'll be up to the kids to tell us which way they liked us better: married or divorced. It's hard for me to guess as which one is *actually* better for them....
While I agree with the sticker.... I think's it's too blase.... Kids need love and attention and acceptance and support... but I kind of think that that can come from multiple/reliable sources. And... frankly: it can come from more than two parents.
Just today El Capitan and I were planning out the weekend and there is a brief window of time that we need someone to watch the children while El Capitan and I do something.... and I asked him (tentatively) if he could ask La Novia if she would be willing.... lo and behold, it turns out that La Novia knows I'm looking for a job and approached El Capitan last week about the three off us sitting down with our work schedules and rotating the child care to even the load.....
Hmm..... sounds to me like La Novia is doing *exactly* what she said she would do and she's putting my children first.... more to the point - she's planning her work schedule and her days off around TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN.
I think that's pretty rad.
Really rad.... actually.
She could refuse to "baby sit" my kids - she would be well within her 23 year old rights I think.... but instead, she's doing that thing called 'stepping up'.... and my kids will be better for it. We *all* will be better for it... and I think that that is really cool of her.
Today they had a great time- The Girl clearly spent a lot of time with her - they made the more gorgeous butterfly cut-out that was taped to a Popsicle stick. It's really nice... La Novia has some mad drawing skillz for sure.... and The Girl ran around the house making the butterfly flap. She had a great time with her.
And me.... I'm just grateful that that is who is spending time with my kids....
So.... I thought a lot about that sticker today - and while I agree that kids do need and deserve BOTH parents.... anyone who has an opportunity to expand their 'nuclear' family to make way for people who want to join in the chaos and the fun and the love and the responsibility....well.... that's a luck family: even if they all live in two separate homes.....
I think I need a new sticker: My Marriage Failed.... but now my kids has two more parents than yours!