*Am* I a Little Angry.......?
Comment from yesterday:
You are spiraling downward in anger. You blame everything wrong in your life on someone else. Maybe your kids are unhappy because their mother made them a laughing stock by writing books, putting out yard signs, and going on Dr. Phil about their family struggles. They won't forget that other mothers didn't do that to their kids. That was for you, not them. Stop your whining and complaining and self obsession and focus on your children before they are gone.
Is it any wonder that I might be a tad angry?
First of all.... JEAN - it's clear that you don't read The Blog..... and you haven't read The Book... which is fine. However, it's always important to have *any* facts when you state an opinion so you don't look like an ass.... I was *never* on the Dr. Phil show. El Capitan and I were offered The Dr. Phil show three times, but we turned him down because El Capitan *hates* Dr. Phil.
Again.... El Capitan (my ex-husband, in case you don't know his Blog name) - *wanted* me to do that very first interview with Fox KPTV12 - I was covered in dirt and had *just* finished cleaning the house and yard only a few hours earlier.... neither of us *dreamed* that everything else would happen.
Once my name and our house and my face were out there on FOX .... it was a done deal. The media can find your facebook page, neither of our pages were 'private' at the time - and that meant that the world wide web hosted a bevy of images of us *and* our children - FREE for the taking by the media......
BTW. *Everyone* should be waaaaaaay more careful what we put on facebook and twitter and Instagram - ALL of those are free to the media if your family faces some kind of tragedy or issue that can be sensationalized. Because we never planned for this to happen..... we were caught off-guard and did our best to protect our family - but sadly, that first 'yes' opened the door for everything else and we didn't know that would happen.
ALL I do...... ALL I do - is focus on my kids. My friends might even suggest that I focus in an bit of an unhealthy way..... I spend *a lot* of time trying to make sure they come out of this ok.
The Book.... it's actually waaaaaay more about me - 2/3 of it is done before the kids are even born, and I only really talk about them being born and stuff..... do I think that one day when they are older they will be embarrassed by the whole mess.......? May be. Probably?
At the same time, you fail to understand that El Capitan AND I both thought a funny sign would help us find the right buyer for our home... not cause a media shit storm. We got offered *countless* tv shows.... and we turned *nearly* all of them down - but the "big" one we took, we took it FOR THE KIDS. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME that my phone rang with an interview offer, I called El Capitan and told him who and the terms and everything else..... *WE* chose what interviews I did, *WE* had to both sign legal waivers for that - *WE*- not just me. El Capitan signed every one. We took The View because the kids got to go to New York and see The Statue of Liberty and stuff - something that El Capitan and I would never be able to afford to do for them.
And yes..... I am angry.
I said it yesterday.... I'm pissed. I'm pissed because it sucks to *feel* like I have done everything I can to get things right and then *fail* miserably..... it sucks.
Do I wonder if in 15 years time my kids will hate me.......? I think *EVERY* parent wonders that.
Do I *enjoy* telling EVERYONE - like The Boy's new teacher - who I am and about the sign - *knowing* that people might judge me......? Of course I don't. However, because it's likely to come out at some point, it's better to OWN IT than try to hide it. 30,000 hits on a google search is hard to ignore.
BUT..... I hope you didn't miss that part..... I own it. I tell everyone new who comes into my life - because what you don't know about me is that I'm honest... I'll tell you the good, the bad and the ugly... and *probably* tell you waaaaaaaay more about all of it than you care to know because that's just the kind of person I am. The Sign was what it was..... I can't take it back - but please don't degrade the whole entire experience to something I did to 'mock' anyone..... I haven't found much of any of this very
11/5/2013 04:27:45 am
That was me by the way checking everyday to see if you were back and I'm glad you are. You have every reason to be pissed off. You tried to make a terrible situation better for your children and to not live with bitterness and anger. I think (and I'm just guessing on this) that there is trouble in paradise with your ex and his girlfriend. That to me is the only thing that would explain the sudden change in her behavior towards you and the kids. There's nothing you can do about it. Just continue to reassure your children that both parents love them, that's all you can do. Don't worry about having a relationship with your ex and her, you tried, something is going on, maybe they'll get it together or maybe they won't but it's not on you. This is their doing. Your kids will be fine and so will you.
11/7/2013 03:31:20 am
I agree with Dusty! Something smells fishy! Who knows...maybe she's pressuring him to "put a ring on it" this Christmas, and he's not interested? I don't see them lasting...nope, no way...so maybe THE END is near.
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