Hmm..... for some time now I have been quiet about La Novia and El Capitan. On one hand... there hasn't been that much to say.... but on the other hand, I was trying to let things be and let our relationships grow a bit more naturally and away from "The Blog", so to speak.
Which ... is all fine and well.... except it's hard to have a relationship with a bathroom door.
Yup... you read that right, I said bathroom door.
Prior to sitting down with La Novia in.... April was it? I think it was..... anyway, I had only ever seen her once prior to that at her place of work (I had other reasons for being there.... because someone else worked there at the time) - and then once when she drove the 'get-a-way' car when El Capitan dropped off the Saturn and it all went a bit pear shaped......
It still kills me to this day that La Novia treats me like I was somehow in her way.... it's like the fact that she broke up my marriage and BEGGED to be apart of this family is completely lost on her..... and even more confusing to me is that when I *genuinely* sit down with an open heart and an open door...... she does nothing.
Well... not nothing: she sits in the bathroom.
If I'm dropping off the kids.... she's in the bathroom.
If I go in and sit on the couch and wait - politely - so as to say hello and be cordial in front of the children - you know... that whole pesky 'setting-a-good-example' thing.... well: apprantly La Novia likes REALLY REALLY REALLY long showers...... so I ended up leaving.
The other day El Capitan suggested we meet at her work place and pop in to buy something on our way to having dinner with the kid together..... and again - La Novia was "in the bathroom" even though her car was parked outside and she was working.....
It really makes no sense to me- AND.... more importantly, this is not lost on the children who are curious why La Novia "hides" in the bathroom, as The Boy put it.
So. Then I have to wonder what exactly this person is hiding from......?
Have I not been kind when I didn't have to be?
Have I not shown an extreme amount of unearned respect?
Have I not only demonstrated tolerance but *acceptance*......?
I kind of think I have.
Fuck it. I KNOW I HAVE.
So why the bathroom?
It's frustrating.... what do I need to do - offer her a quickie in the sheets?
Yes... yes,I know - that's not nice. But I'm growing tired of this whole nice, respectful thing being a one-way street..... and I just go back to the idea that if YOU don't want to deal with your boyfriends EX-WIFE then don't find yourself in bed with a married man....
Date single men who haven't previously been married.
Don't move in with someone who is still married to another woman because the logic goes to follow that you will *eventually* have to deal with said ex-wife.... and if I may be so bold, *MOST* ex-wives are not nearly as nice, nor as kind, nor as protective of your identity and safety an *THIS* ex-wife has been.
Even more to the point.... very few women would have extended their hand to welcome you into their home and their children's lives as an equal co-parent.
I have to admit that I'm frustrated and confused.... and frustrated.
What more can I do to make this work?
What more can I say or promise.... and why the hell am I the one doing all the promising?
Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
You can see some of Elle's photography at: