Honestly, I was *kind of* expecting a ticker-tape parade when I was done... but sadly, there was none. lololol
I've been working pretty hard at this.... I'd would nearly the 50 pound mark and doing it *without* potions or pills or shakes or meal replacement... well: that's kind of a big damn deal. At least in my world it is. :)
I have a friend - Miss Erin (and we'll all be hearing more from here very soon here) who is challenging me and driving my workouts from afar. She dropped the hammer on 11 miles yesterday: so I went 13. She responded with a "goal" of 17 miles.... so I went back today and nailed 17.5. (Yes, I know I've written that twice now... hahahahha).
I *think* I might get a better workout on a treadmill......? But, I'm afraid to push things too far and irritate my knee... after all this hard work, all I need is an 'injury' as an excuse not to come back and then fall behind on all my progress. It's always seems to work that way... you know?
Anyhow. I have a specific bike that I like. The first bike in the row is *really* hard to push on an 8. The second bike in the row I can do 10 miles at a 10 in a solid 38 minutes. The third bike is a bit loosy-goosy and I feel like it's getting away from me even at an 11..... so - long, boring detailed story short: the second bike is *my* bike. :)
Yesterday the gym was *packed* and I had to wait for a bike to come open. There was also an older lady with a gym membership person waiting for a bike.... and when the first one came open I already had the paper towel and sanitizer for the woman to use (I had instinctively grabbed it before noticing there weren't any bikes open.. sigh). Then I went back and got more for when the next bike opened up for me.
The guy who got off the first bike had a laugh that I cleaned up his sweaty bike for him.. .we had that 'nod' and he walked down to the weights.
Today - I arrive *early* determined to get in my hour plus that I know I'm going to need to try to hit 17 miles - and thankfully *my* bike is open and next to it is the sweaty gym guy from the day before. I sit down and he gives me the nod... and me - clearly knowing *no* boundaries in the gym - say hello and we chat for a second.
I am *not* gym cool... lololol
He has his headphones on and I, of course, am watching New Moon while drinking from my Team Edward New Moon water bottle.... oh yeah: that's how sad I am :)
And suddenly this giant brick wall of a man comes up on my other side - he's nice, I've seen him around and I asked him a question about the treadmill the week before - and he offers me a card with a number on it. We chat for a few seconds and he heads downstairs as well. I tuck the card into my Kindle holder and look up to see Gym Guy, headphones out, and staring at me .....
"Did he just give you his phone number.......?" He asks.
"Oh, gawd no... lolol - can't you see all the other girls here - I doubt *that* man thinks I'm *his* type".... I reply.
"Umm... ok - I don't see why not.. but then what did he give you?" He asks again.
"oh, he offered to help me with some personal training stuff...." I explain.
Gym Guy doesn't seem sold on this - and we end up chatting for a while after that.... nothing like getting all red faced, sweaty and out of breath while *not* lying under a man, but instead sitting awkwardly next to him struggling to hit that 17th mile....
Did I already say how *uncool* I am at the gym?
Do people really do that....? Pick people up at the gym? I mean - isn't there some kind of 'unspoken' rule about not 'flirting' or trying to pick people up while they are working out? I should think there is... And I'm 1000000000% certain that the brick wall man really was just offering to help me. I think that's one thing I've learned about going to the gym - once people see you has a 'regular' - someone they see every day - they are nice and offer to help you... which is really, really nice. :)
I picked up the kids and we were heading home. Lately, I've been trying to talk to The Boy about going to "real school". I've been looking into some private school options - I figure if I'm willing to stick it out at home for the long hall, and I work full time - then I can afford to put them both through private school. BUT - this is something I have to warm the boy up to.....
Out of the blue in the back seat I hear a sniffling.....
"Mom.... Please don't make me go to 'real school' because the same thing is going to happen again...." The Boy cries.
"What same thing?" I ask.
"The bullies will hunt me and kick me and beat me up and call me nerd.... Like last time."......." He states.
For a second I wonder - is this an active imagination? I know he had trouble at school... but - perhaps he's just remembering it to be worse than it was? "Honey, when did you have that happen..?." I ask him.
"At Barnes mom - Austin. Every school has an Austin mom - I just know it". The Boy continues to cry.
Ah... yes: Austin.
My first introduction to Austin was when The Boy - age 5 - tells me that he and his "new friend" at school play "penis tag". I just about threw up in my own mouth... but I held it together. I asked him for details, which he didn't really provide... so I dressed him for school and called the Principal on my way in. They called in a counselor and had a meeting with him and with this kid.
Turned out that 'penis tag' involved Austin chasing down The Boy and punching him in the nuts.
Nothing happened to Austin, The Boy came home pretty much traumatized from the whole ordeal and I asked that in the future - the two boys be kept apart during recess. But... it's public school: 185 Kindergarteners - and only 9 teachers on the play ground... so then this happened:
"Today Austin grabbed my face and breathed chocolate milk breath into my mouth."
"Today Austin chased me down and punched me in the stomach."
"Austin held me against the wall and kicked me in the ankle."
"Austin pushed me down in the puddle at the slide today....."
and on it went.
In the end, after The Boy was in tears every day on the way to school - we pulled him out in March and started homeschooling him. In the two years since then, he's loved homeschooling and he's *very* social... but I worry as time goes on - as a single Mom - that both the children will need *more* that just me in their lives...
So, I'm driving and thinking about how to respond, and as I'm saying to The Boy - "Anywhere you go in life, you're going to meet people you don't like, or who you feel are going to bull you - but you just have to......."
and The Boy cuts in with this fanf*ckingtastic gem: "You know what Mom... this is happening because Dad was selfish. He chose his girlfriend over me and now we don't have a house and I don't have a room and everything had to change..... and now I have to go to school and get bullied. And that makes me angry, Mom."
Hmm... well, isn't that just rather craptastically true......? sigh.
I let the car go silent for a second.. because I want to say the right thing. He's so clear in his conviction of his father - and the truth is, where it not for our current circumstances - I would never consider anything but homeschooling him... so I'm *really* trying to find an honest argument to what he said.
In the end, while The Boy continues to cry silent little tears while looking out the window, I finally said this: "I'm not sure if that's totally true or not... we might have sent you to 'real school' one day - I honestly don't know. and, yes, you are right, things changed because Daddy made a bad decision - BUT - sometimes things in life happen that we don't like, and we have to just keep going..... we have to make the best of things because we don't have any other choice."
More silence.... then I realized that I was missing the most important part: "Actually buddy, you *do* have a choice - you can either lay down and be sad and cry and feel angry about what happened or why it happened or who you think made it happen... - which is kind of sucky way to live... - OR - you can accept things *even* if you don't like them - and just make the best of it - you have the choice to make it better... and you're really good at making things better."
I turned around to face him at the light, The Boy sniffled loud, glaring at me through his glasses with a look that I *thought* said "I call bullshit on that, Mom...." but *instead* The Boy said, "Yeah... but that's not very fair to me Mom - that's not right..... "
"I know pal... I know....." I started to say.
"But... you know - I guess that's kind of what happened to you.... so I guess I'll just have to do it, too". he stated.
Wow.... I almost couldn't drive when the light turned green. How does he put so much together?!?! How does he draw so many of the dots together to make such a clear picture of what's happening to us? You think you can shield them from everything - certain conversations, fighting, etc.... but, I'll tell you what: nothing takes the wind out of your 17.5 mile sails like a dose of reality from your 8 year old.
Oh... an in spite of voluntary promises to the contrary... Coffee Guy never called. I think I can safely assume that he *won't* call as it is no longer the 1990's and I'm pretty sure (or at least *very* hopeful) that people are no longer subscribing to the whole "The Rules" thing and waited three days.... plus: it's been four. hahaha
He was a nice guy, very sweet, great listener... but I think in the end, there were just too many crossed wires - I mean.. c'mon - I accidentally professed my 'undying love' for a virtual stranger (even if I *did* think I was writing the person it was *really* meant for.. my BFF) - and I think that that would creep anyone out. lololol
Lesson learned.... well played cyber karma... well played. hahaha
Onward and upward..... :)