greatfamilyhome.com
Search for a Post
  • The House & Sign
    • Magnets!!!!
  • The Scorned & Bitter Blog
    • Disneyland!
  • The Book!
  • Say Hi to Elle!

Oregonians Do It Better In The Rain.......

10/30/2012

3 Comments

 
Picture
The Boy LOVES Halloween.  And, of course, when I say LOVE I mean that he lives, eats, breathes, dreams and thinks... for MONTHS about nothing but Halloween. 

Knowing this, you would think that I would have my sh*t together and the house would be decorated all cute and I would be putting my very best 'Martha Stewart' forward.... but sadly, that's just not the case.

Today I demonstrated my amazing Mother of The Year skillz by *finally* taking the kids to a pumpkin patch.  There are only like... a dozen really great pumpkin patches located within 5 miles of my home... but today - in the rain, was the first time we actually went to one of them.

Oh... and as you'll notice, I have yet to buy The Boy a new pair of rubber boots and The Girl is wearing her beloved pair of Peppa Pig boots that were sent over by the everawesome Lashla nearly two years ago.  They are nearly three sizes too small... but she stuff her little toes in them anyway.  lol

Of course, the nice thing about going to a pumpkin patch in the rain is that almost no one else was there.  We've been to the Roloff Farm in the past (that's just a few miles up the road from where we live) but they are only open Friday-Sunday.  So we went to Baggenstos instead - which is a few miles in the opposite direction.

They have a playground and a hay maze and a hay ride - and honestly - they had really, really nice pumpkins, too.  Still all plump and round and fresh looking.  The Girl picked out her pumpkin fast, running in and out of the pumpkins, zigging and zagging until she found the 'biggest' one she could carry. 

The Boy took a little longer, he wavered between the biggest one to the smallest ones.... eventually, he chose a big one.  I grabbed a nice round one and then we lined them up and waited for the Hay ride to come back around and pick us up.

The rain was coming down, but we didn't mind...... which - was a little bit comforting.  Standing in the rain, me in my pink ballet crocs, The Boy in his green grocs and The Girl in her everholy Peppa boots - somewhat prepared with coats and hoods, and somewhat exposed to the muddy elements.... and yet:  we were content.

Actually, we were more than content.  We were HAPPY.

We were laughing and yelling and the kids were jumping up and down in the mud.  There was mud all over them and me and our poor, round, fresh looking pumpkins.... and I guess I forgot to get mad?

I forgot to be worried about the muddy clothes and what that would mean when I put them back in their car seats.  I forgot about how the mud would squish between my toes and feel yucky.... I wasn't pretending' either.... like - trying to let it go because I'm 'the cool' Mom or whatever.

I just didn't care.  The mud, the rain, the clothes.... it's all superficial stuff.  It can be rinsed out and sprayed with shout and washed clean again.  We just stood out there in the rain, having a fantastic time.

I wasn't thinking about all of this until we were back in the car heading home... and it struck me that (and I almost hate to admit this) but we were happier in that pumpkin patch than we've been in a long time.... even at Disneyland.  It was how life *used* to be.  I used to be 'that' Mom who didn't care about stupid sh*t.  At all.

I didn't own toys I cared about getting broken.... I was the kind of Mom who *wanted* her kids to jump in muddy puddles instead of 'staying clean'.  I think I've forgotten about that lately... wrapped in everything that's gone wrong and in the pain of the loss of it all...... I forgot who I was as MOM.  Damn.  How'd I miss that?

There we were in the rain, only partially prepared and totally exposed.... and still totally happy.

It's a bit of a metaphor for our lives.... the three of us, totally not prepared, totally exposed... and yet:  not happy, still struggling to find our happy place together.  And I think I know where I'm going wrong.

I'm buying all these books and ebooks and reading and reading until I fall asleep every night.  I read the books to *try* to help me/us be more prepared for what's happened, for what's happening and what *will* most likely happen in the future. 

Sometimes, there just aren't enough coats to keep you dry from the rain, or boots thick enough to keep your feet dry... sometimes, you have to stand in the doorway and think to yourself, "Sh*t, this is the last day to go to the pumpkin patch, we're sans boots for The Boy - so it's green crocs or nothing at all.... so crocs, sox and wet feet it is!" 

And just GO.

Just go and laugh in the rain, and don't worry about the mud, even if it gets in your toes and on your clothes.  So long as the mud stay's on the outside.... then it's easier to laugh, knowing you can wash them later.

I think that by constantly being worried about our 'outsides' and trying to 'prepare' - which I'm learning that there's no way to prepare, no way to truly keep the 'emotional mud' and pain away from us.  And may be I shouldn't be so worried about that.... may be I should just focus more on finding new ways to laugh .... just like today - even when I'm standing in the mud and rain.

The kids don't care if life get's a little muddy, if we're all soaked to the bone - so long as we're together.  So long as we're laughing and having fun.

May be I'm drawing too much attention - in my attempts to 'protect' and/or 'prepare' us, - to the 'emotional' rain and making things worse.... drenching us - or even drowning us - in that pain.  I'm not saying I'm to blame for the fact that it's raining, so to speak, but the truth is that it's my fault that we're not laughing and making the best of the rain.

Time to get our laugh on.... I'm usually pretty good at that....

When we got home, I unloaded our pumpkins and put them on the porch, all lined up, ready to clean and carve.  I noticed that instead of being the usual various sizes - big, medium, small and tiny - as we would get them when we were a family of four - this year all of the pumpkins are the same size. 

It was accidental - each of us picked out our own and I didn't notice that they were all one size until I got them home.  But there they were, all lined up:  equal.  Like us.

Sometimes, you just run out the door in your crocs expecting to get wet, buy a pumpkin and come home... instead, you find yourself rethinking your entire outlook on something while standing in the rain with muddy toes.  Time to stop caring about the mud, and the rain and the clothes - the 'superficial' of things and focus on the inside's - the love, the laughter and stop giving a sh*t about the things I can't change. 

Instead of going to the pumpkin patch on all those sunny days before today, we were there, in the rain.... but like I said, Oregonians do it better in the rain. 





3 Comments
Jason (Mr XXXX again)
10/31/2012 07:47:38 am

"I didnt get being a wife right".

Sigh... I thought we went over this! You DID get being a wife right. Did you cheat?

HE is the one that didnt get marriage right. I think you have been wife that most guys wish they had.

Reply
Romana
11/1/2012 01:35:06 pm

Wow. You have so many readers. 91,000!!! If everyone of them bought just 1 magnet, you'd have enough money to buy a regular sized home for the three of you free and clear and money left over to help run your photog business out of your home. You did an awesome job on the pumpkins.

Reply
CEE
11/5/2012 11:50:40 am

I just went through your whole blog in 3 days & it took this post to finally know what to say, well besides the typical kudos anyways... I think what's happening is all that book reading & trying to prepare for what could happen is your way of over compensating for what did happen when you weren't prepared. The only thing is, you fail to see that even though you weren't prepared for your marriage to end, you sure handled it awesomely. Even with all the ups & downs... Look, in SC divorces take a year, and that's uncontested, in the mean time, the jilted party doesn't really move on in hopes that the divorce won't happen, so a year goes by, te divorce happens & they are where you are now, but in a lot worse shape most of the time. You really handled your business miss lady, it may not seem like it because your heart still hurts, but you really did. You are gonna be just fine, and while you can never be fully prepared for the wrenches life can throw at you, you can be dang sure that you are strong enough & smart enough to make it through & even come out on top... Stop focusing on what you are worried your ex will or won't do & let him deal with that, you don't even have to pick up the pieces for your kids, your son especially, is smart enough to come to his own conclusions on those things, your daughter wil too, just make sure you love them the way you always have, do that by getting yourself back, don't let ec or yg take any more of you than they have, don't let them have your heart, bruised it is one thing, keeping it is another.... Main point, you made it this far, this quick, that says alot about where you will get...

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Buy The Book!
    ON AMAZON!

    Picture
    also available on Kindle!!!!!

    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
    You can see some of Elle's photography at:
    http://www.zoberimages.com/
    Picture

    Archives

    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    Categories

    All
    Being A Gay Mom
    Bullies & Internet Trolls
    Cheating Husband
    Cheating Spouses
    Coming Out After 30
    Co Parenting
    Co-Parenting
    Divorce
    Gay
    Healing
    Heartbroken
    Lesbian
    Lesbian Mom
    Lost Love
    Motherhood
    Moving On
    Scorned & Bitter
    Single Parenting
    The Other Woman
    True Love

    SITE DISCLAIMER/
    POINTS OF FACT:
    El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them.  :)
    The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs.  PERIOD.
    This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this *might* be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
    We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

    RSS Feed

    91,395 Readers
    and counting...

Scorned, slighty bitter but still, grateful and very happy... life is good.
PS.... you *WILL find errors in grammar, spelling and otherwise... I am just a Mom - now a 'single Mom' who
writes The Blog from a place of honesty \and usually in the dark at 1:00am.... so please be understanding. cheers. :)