I think that hardest thing about Cheating and Divorce is not only the unfairness of it all..... but it's the doors that open to your life that *Other* People can now walk through with a sense of ownership and misplaced belonging.
First and foremost, the Other Woman. She (almost always) conducts herself as though The Wife is the problem.... which, of course is the bag of beans that was sold to her by The Husband for the priveldge of getting her sheets wet in the first place. The Other Woman has this idea that she has "saved" The Husband from someone who was cruel to Him.... that's sometimes the case - but it's not *always* the case.....
Though, it begs the Question: What could The Wife EVER DO that could ever be as cruel as having sex with someone else and ruining the safety and security of The Children's Home?
The Answer: Nothing.
Next.... you have The Friends, Friends of The Wife and Friends of The Husband.... usually both sets of Friends provide catastrophic advice that will fly in the face of Anyone trying to "co-parent".... advice like, "You should get an attorney and sue the b*tch".... or, most commonly, "You are the Father and you have Rights."
So, that begs the Question: What happens when a Father slips and falls and drops his Parental Rights into the panties of The Other Woman....?
The Answer: Parental Rights should be something that is *earned* through love, devotion, time, caring and by ALWAYS putting The Children FIRST.
Then you have Attorney's and Judge's who will use the Law of The Land to the best of Their ability and In The Best Interest of The Children.... but who will now, forever, have Power in Their Lives.
It's fightening to be The Wife, when One Day you were planning family trips in the fall to Disneyland... and suddenly One Day, The Wife is waiting for letters from Court over the fact that The Wife "enforced" one of the previously agreed upon terms of The Dissolution.
It all comes down to who builds Their Cross fast enough.... too bad, Most Wives are too buisy trying to rebuild The Tatters of a Family and The Children to be worried about building Their Own Cross.
It's like they say on The Airplane: Please place your own oxygen mask over your face before you place the mask over your child's face.
Of course, if The Father already strapped Himself to The Other Woman and jumped out of The Plane... that doesn't matter, right?
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
there'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose
cause we all lose........
Sometimes, The Wife, has to give in to The Pain and The Bitterness a little... at least on Her Own, away from The Children... because She can't cry in front of Them, because They know why She Cries... and She can't Scream in front of Them ... because They know where The Screams come from.... She Can't be Angry in front of Them ..... because She doesn't want to teach Them to Cry, to Scream, to be Angry..... that's no way to Live.
Instead, She puts on Their 'Oxygen Mask' first ...... and hopes there is still time to put Hers on.********
ONE DAY by Matisyahu
****Hang in there.... We will be back to our usual Peppy Blogs tomorrow.... because One Day turns into Another Day and Another Day and Another.... and only WE have the POWER to make it a Day Worth Living in Joy, Love and Happiness.********