greatfamilyhome.com
Search for a Post
  • The House & Sign
    • Magnets!!!!
  • The Scorned & Bitter Blog
    • Disneyland!
  • The Book!
  • Say Hi to Elle!

One Day......

8/2/2012

5 Comments

 
One Day.... One Day.... One Day.....

I think that hardest thing about Cheating and Divorce is not only the unfairness of it all..... but it's the doors that open to your life that *Other* People can now walk through with a sense of ownership and misplaced belonging.

First and foremost, the Other Woman.  She (almost always) conducts herself as though The Wife is the problem.... which, of course is the bag of beans that was sold to her by The Husband for the priveldge of getting her sheets wet in the first place.  The Other Woman has this idea that she has "saved" The Husband from someone who was cruel to Him....  that's sometimes the case - but it's not *always* the case.....

Though, it begs the Question:  What could The Wife EVER DO that could ever be as cruel as having sex with someone else and ruining the safety and security of The Children's Home? 

The Answer:  Nothing.

Next.... you have The Friends, Friends of The Wife and Friends of The Husband.... usually both sets of Friends provide catastrophic advice that will fly in the face of Anyone trying to "co-parent".... advice like, "You should get an attorney and sue the b*tch".... or, most commonly, "You are the Father and you have Rights."

So, that begs the Question:  What happens when a Father slips and falls and drops his Parental Rights into the panties of The Other Woman....? 

The Answer:  Parental Rights should be something that is *earned* through love, devotion, time, caring and by ALWAYS putting The Children FIRST. 

Then you have Attorney's and Judge's who will use the Law of The Land to the best of Their ability and In The Best Interest of The Children.... but who will now, forever, have Power in Their Lives.

Power.

It's fightening to be The Wife, when One Day you were planning family trips in the fall to Disneyland... and suddenly One Day, The Wife is waiting for letters from Court over the fact that The Wife "enforced" one of the previously agreed upon terms of The Dissolution. 

It all comes down to who builds Their Cross fast enough.... too bad, Most Wives are too buisy trying to rebuild The Tatters of a Family and The Children to be worried about building Their Own Cross.

It's like they say on The Airplane:  Please place your own oxygen mask over your face before you place the mask over your child's face.

Of course,  if The Father already strapped Himself to The Other Woman and jumped out of The Plane... that doesn't matter, right?

all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
there'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose
cause we all lose........

Sometimes, The Wife, has to give in to The Pain and The Bitterness a little... at least on Her Own, away from The Children... because She can't cry in front of Them, because They know why She Cries... and She can't Scream in front of Them ... because They know where The Screams come from.... She Can't be Angry in front of Them ..... because She doesn't want to teach Them to Cry, to Scream, to be Angry..... that's no way to Live.

Instead, She puts on Their 'Oxygen Mask' first ...... and hopes there is still time to put Hers on.********

ONE DAY by Matisyahu
http://matisyahuworld.com/order/

****Hang in there.... We will be back to our usual Peppy Blogs tomorrow.... because One Day turns into Another Day and Another Day and Another.... and only WE have the POWER to make it a Day Worth Living in Joy, Love and Happiness.********
5 Comments
Melissa
8/2/2012 05:40:39 am

ONE DAY...he will do to her what he has done to you. That is the true meaning of 'justice.'

Reply
Taunya's Place link
8/2/2012 05:46:11 am

One simple day at a time. One breath at a time. I quoted this verse to myself many a times in the last 2 years:

weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Reply
Icarus link
8/3/2012 01:18:20 am

Remember when fighting fire with fire, the fire department uses water.

I've always kinda thought that the law should be set so that in order for two people to get married, they have to spell out how their future (or current) children will be dealt with in case of a split. You cannot cover every hypothetical scenario but there should be enough antecdotal tales out there to cover the more common scenarios.

Reply
Angie
8/3/2012 01:31:09 am

Beautiful writing, beautiful post. You are amazing and strong. Write a book, sister!

Reply
Sue
8/3/2012 03:44:24 am

This too shall pass.
You are WAY too talented, too special and this will always come to pass.
Take deep breaths and let your clever smarts get you over this. You can 'design' your OWN life now and let HIM go his way.
One of my Seattle friends Eiko told me her story. From Japan, married GI dude, moved to Texas, had 3 gorgeous girls and off he goes having an affair. She now has the WHOLE story. He is a pretty broken man and she went on to put her girls through college working in housekeeping at SMU and is now living in SEA volunteering at Childrens Hospital and the only thing she can say about her ex was....He had GOOD Sperm.
You are on your way.
And you will see the WHOLE story one day.
Yes it hurts because he sooooo let you and your children down.
He does not deserve you and the children you bore.
He is NOT good enough.
That is what Bunny my Mom would say.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Buy The Book!
    ON AMAZON!

    Picture
    also available on Kindle!!!!!

    Elle Zober

    Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer,  potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!
    You can see some of Elle's photography at:
    http://www.zoberimages.com/
    Picture

    Archives

    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    Categories

    All
    Being A Gay Mom
    Bullies & Internet Trolls
    Cheating Husband
    Cheating Spouses
    Coming Out After 30
    Co Parenting
    Co-Parenting
    Divorce
    Gay
    Healing
    Heartbroken
    Lesbian
    Lesbian Mom
    Lost Love
    Motherhood
    Moving On
    Scorned & Bitter
    Single Parenting
    The Other Woman
    True Love

    SITE DISCLAIMER/
    POINTS OF FACT:
    El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them.  :)
    The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs.  PERIOD.
    This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this *might* be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
    We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

    RSS Feed

    91,395 Readers
    and counting...

Scorned, slighty bitter but still, grateful and very happy... life is good.
PS.... you *WILL find errors in grammar, spelling and otherwise... I am just a Mom - now a 'single Mom' who
writes The Blog from a place of honesty \and usually in the dark at 1:00am.... so please be understanding. cheers. :)