Tonight I'm just plain pissed.
Last month The Huffington Post ran a "story" - which was really just someone's "opinion" about several "signs" that ex's have made about their spouses: mine was included. The title of said "story" was something about how "These Psycho Ex's Will Make You Grateful For Yours." or some such thing... but they called me a psycho.
I didn't over react, you know.... like a *real* psycho would, instead I researched the writer and after being unable to find an email or any formal contact information for her, I found her on facebook and contacted her there.
I sent her a polite email asking her to remove me from the story as the reference to me as a 'psycho' seemed not only out of context but bordered on defamation in that my ex had APPROVED the sign and therefor this was something we did together, etc. Of course, just a wee bit of actual journalism and 'research' on her part, and she would have already known that.
Sigh.
I received an email from an Editor at The Huff Post stating that they would remove 'psycho' and change it to be "5 Ex's Who Make You Grateful For Yours." Really?
REALLY?
Clearly, you did not one *ounce* of research about my story, about what has happened and how I have (or have not, as the case might actually be) conducted myself in the course of the breakdown of my family. Let me make something super, duper preschool-level clear:
MY EX IS F*CKING LUCKY TO HAVE ME.
Believe that.
He cheated.
He LIED.
I let him go.
I WALKED AWAY FROM SPOUSAL SUPPORT.
I handled EVERY aspect of our divorce and gave him HALF of everything.
Did you read that.......? There were no late night escapades running up our credit cards and saddling him with further debt. There were no late night runs to the dump with his prized Nintendo collection.
I wanted our pots and pans.... so I BOUGHT HIM A BRAND NEW SET.
I took the kids movies, the romance movies and gave him his treasured boring ass HobbitStarWarsJackassLOSTseries movies.... EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Mint in their boxes.
I could have strapped those shiny discs to my kids feet and taught them to ice-skate with them on our hardwood floors... *especially* his sacred LOST collection.... but I did not. They were nicely dusted and boxed.
Oh. And.... while HE was busy banging his 22 year old girlfriend.... ALL. THE. TIME: hence he had NO time to help me pack up the *entire* contents of our home - *I* am the one to who did it.
I PACKED OUR HOME.
I PACKED HIS STUFF.
I RENTED HIM A STORAGE UNIT - and moved all of his boxes - ALONE.
and gave him the motherf*cking key..... with three months paid in advance.
Oh yeah.... I'm a real 'psycho', huh?
I'm such a horrific ex-wife.... you should like write a story about me and post it online, okay?
I handled our ENTIRE divorce. No attorney's were used.
I handled the SALE OUR OF HOME. I saved us THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS... of which he got half.
Man.... I am *such* a money-grubbing whore.
I made - what we BOTH thought - was a funny sign to sell our home. However, only ONE of us stood in front of the media cameras.
Only ONE of us was thrown to the media wolves for being a fat-ass....
Only ONE of us received comments that said:
"Of course her husband left her.... I wouldn't f*ck her either."
"No man wants to f*ck a cow......"
"I'd leave that fat heifer for a hot 22 year old in a heartbeat........"
A lesser person.... a 'psyco' - would have been ALL. TOO. HAPPY. to reveal the name of the 22 year old - who I can *assure* you is not *that* hot.... and let the vultures pick over her carcass.... but I did not.
I took it all.
I took it all - and I kept their identities secret.
I allowed them the courtesy of their shared privacy at my own expense.
I could have sewn a cyber Scarlet-Letter to her chest in a second..... branded her at 22 for being a 'home-wrecker'.... but I did not. THAT would be bullying and wrong on about a zillion levels... but mostly, because I'm a Mom and in spite of the fact that she helped break up my home, I respected the fact that she's a f*cking human being and someone else's daughter and AS SUCH, I have treated her with more respect than she has ever shown me and...... I protected her.
Clearly, I'm insane and bent on all forms of revenge.
Not *only* that, but seeing as how they STILL live together, I have not only tolerated their relationship - but have supported it with the children. If she is going to be in the role of "step-parent" - it is in the children's best interested that they have a functioning and trusting relationship with her - and THAT is exactly what I have cultivated for them.
What a f*cking b*tch I am.
Finally, just a few weeks ago my sons teacher told me a story about how another parent was observing class and noted how funny and easy-going The Boy is - and actually SAID to the teacher, that he - THE BOY - our son - must have a wonderful and secure home-life.
The teacher laughed and said.... "If you only knew......"
But you know what - that parent was RIGHT. Both our children are *HAPPY* and functioning and still carefree in spite of going through the loss of our home, the extremely sudden divorce of their parents - because I WORKED REALLY F*CKING HARD ON IT. Me. My ex was busy creating a new life and dealing with his own personal issue's..... he didn't even show up on Christmas.
In a MERE eleven months...... because *I* held on - because *I* was there for our children, they have a healthy relationship with their Father. They have seen him fail - fail them and fail our family.... and yet I have taught them that there will be people in their lives who will fail them and that they will not always be able to walk away from these people. Sometimes, you have to understand that people make bad decisions - and it's okay to love them anyway. They know that we do not always have to approve of the decision other people make, we don't have to like everything about them - and it's still ok to love them.
So here we are: ONE WHOLE FAMILY living in two homes. BooYaa.
Sh*t..... I wish I wasn't such a revengeful b*tch ruining my children and turning them against their Father as though that were some kind of prize... to prove one parent dysfunctional and useless.
I'm not a saint. I'm overweight. I have a potty mouth (clearly). My grammar and spelling are dire at times.... but I have shared this journey as openly and *honestly* as I can WITH HIS PERMISSION. I have never written or published *anything* without my ex's written and expressed permission.
Period.
We live, the children and I, with family. We share one bedroom - we sleep in one small bed. I go to the gym relentlessly. I work hard, save pennies where I can - and do THE BEST I CAN for all five of us - Me, The Ex, The Girlfriend and our kids..... because I'm the Mom and that's my f*cking job.
HUFFINGTON POST: please stop defaming my name. Please stop calling me a psycho or implying that I could be one of the worst ex-wives in history....... because you're wrong. You should care enough about the basics of journalistic integrity to do a little research and get my story right - why? Because I'm a human being and I deserve the smallest amount of respect from you - a online "news source" (as you claim to be).
Finally...... you should know that the ex and I are taking the kids on holiday - TOGETHER - as a joint birthday present to them. How many ex-wives can even BE IN THE SAME ROOM - let alone take a trip and stay in the same hotel room with their ex-husband without killing each other?
This b*tch.... that's who.
And you know what.... I'm damn proud of that.
I did the RIGHT THING when many other's would have done the wrong thing.
I put my children first and my hurt and anger waaaaaaaaaaaaay second.
I have never been 'revengeful' in my actions.
I have never been 'psycho' in my decisions.
My past actions have led me to a place of healing and a place where my life is good, our children are happy and I'm grateful for the little I have.... and it's little believe me.
I would, at the very least, like to keep some small shred of my reputation in tact, which won't happen if you keep running half-assed articles with sh*tty headlines that just AREN'T true.
I understand that everyone interprets the sign I made differently.
I also understand that people are entitled to their opinions.
But, if you are a somewhat trusted "news source" - then please consider someone's feelings when you label them as a 'psycho' or write a title that claims that they are such an "awful" ex - that you might be glad for the one you have?
Mean..... is not journalism.
Last month The Huffington Post ran a "story" - which was really just someone's "opinion" about several "signs" that ex's have made about their spouses: mine was included. The title of said "story" was something about how "These Psycho Ex's Will Make You Grateful For Yours." or some such thing... but they called me a psycho.
I didn't over react, you know.... like a *real* psycho would, instead I researched the writer and after being unable to find an email or any formal contact information for her, I found her on facebook and contacted her there.
I sent her a polite email asking her to remove me from the story as the reference to me as a 'psycho' seemed not only out of context but bordered on defamation in that my ex had APPROVED the sign and therefor this was something we did together, etc. Of course, just a wee bit of actual journalism and 'research' on her part, and she would have already known that.
Sigh.
I received an email from an Editor at The Huff Post stating that they would remove 'psycho' and change it to be "5 Ex's Who Make You Grateful For Yours." Really?
REALLY?
Clearly, you did not one *ounce* of research about my story, about what has happened and how I have (or have not, as the case might actually be) conducted myself in the course of the breakdown of my family. Let me make something super, duper preschool-level clear:
MY EX IS F*CKING LUCKY TO HAVE ME.
Believe that.
He cheated.
He LIED.
I let him go.
I WALKED AWAY FROM SPOUSAL SUPPORT.
I handled EVERY aspect of our divorce and gave him HALF of everything.
Did you read that.......? There were no late night escapades running up our credit cards and saddling him with further debt. There were no late night runs to the dump with his prized Nintendo collection.
I wanted our pots and pans.... so I BOUGHT HIM A BRAND NEW SET.
I took the kids movies, the romance movies and gave him his treasured boring ass HobbitStarWarsJackassLOSTseries movies.... EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Mint in their boxes.
I could have strapped those shiny discs to my kids feet and taught them to ice-skate with them on our hardwood floors... *especially* his sacred LOST collection.... but I did not. They were nicely dusted and boxed.
Oh. And.... while HE was busy banging his 22 year old girlfriend.... ALL. THE. TIME: hence he had NO time to help me pack up the *entire* contents of our home - *I* am the one to who did it.
I PACKED OUR HOME.
I PACKED HIS STUFF.
I RENTED HIM A STORAGE UNIT - and moved all of his boxes - ALONE.
and gave him the motherf*cking key..... with three months paid in advance.
Oh yeah.... I'm a real 'psycho', huh?
I'm such a horrific ex-wife.... you should like write a story about me and post it online, okay?
I handled our ENTIRE divorce. No attorney's were used.
I handled the SALE OUR OF HOME. I saved us THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS... of which he got half.
Man.... I am *such* a money-grubbing whore.
I made - what we BOTH thought - was a funny sign to sell our home. However, only ONE of us stood in front of the media cameras.
Only ONE of us was thrown to the media wolves for being a fat-ass....
Only ONE of us received comments that said:
"Of course her husband left her.... I wouldn't f*ck her either."
"No man wants to f*ck a cow......"
"I'd leave that fat heifer for a hot 22 year old in a heartbeat........"
A lesser person.... a 'psyco' - would have been ALL. TOO. HAPPY. to reveal the name of the 22 year old - who I can *assure* you is not *that* hot.... and let the vultures pick over her carcass.... but I did not.
I took it all.
I took it all - and I kept their identities secret.
I allowed them the courtesy of their shared privacy at my own expense.
I could have sewn a cyber Scarlet-Letter to her chest in a second..... branded her at 22 for being a 'home-wrecker'.... but I did not. THAT would be bullying and wrong on about a zillion levels... but mostly, because I'm a Mom and in spite of the fact that she helped break up my home, I respected the fact that she's a f*cking human being and someone else's daughter and AS SUCH, I have treated her with more respect than she has ever shown me and...... I protected her.
Clearly, I'm insane and bent on all forms of revenge.
Not *only* that, but seeing as how they STILL live together, I have not only tolerated their relationship - but have supported it with the children. If she is going to be in the role of "step-parent" - it is in the children's best interested that they have a functioning and trusting relationship with her - and THAT is exactly what I have cultivated for them.
What a f*cking b*tch I am.
Finally, just a few weeks ago my sons teacher told me a story about how another parent was observing class and noted how funny and easy-going The Boy is - and actually SAID to the teacher, that he - THE BOY - our son - must have a wonderful and secure home-life.
The teacher laughed and said.... "If you only knew......"
But you know what - that parent was RIGHT. Both our children are *HAPPY* and functioning and still carefree in spite of going through the loss of our home, the extremely sudden divorce of their parents - because I WORKED REALLY F*CKING HARD ON IT. Me. My ex was busy creating a new life and dealing with his own personal issue's..... he didn't even show up on Christmas.
In a MERE eleven months...... because *I* held on - because *I* was there for our children, they have a healthy relationship with their Father. They have seen him fail - fail them and fail our family.... and yet I have taught them that there will be people in their lives who will fail them and that they will not always be able to walk away from these people. Sometimes, you have to understand that people make bad decisions - and it's okay to love them anyway. They know that we do not always have to approve of the decision other people make, we don't have to like everything about them - and it's still ok to love them.
So here we are: ONE WHOLE FAMILY living in two homes. BooYaa.
Sh*t..... I wish I wasn't such a revengeful b*tch ruining my children and turning them against their Father as though that were some kind of prize... to prove one parent dysfunctional and useless.
I'm not a saint. I'm overweight. I have a potty mouth (clearly). My grammar and spelling are dire at times.... but I have shared this journey as openly and *honestly* as I can WITH HIS PERMISSION. I have never written or published *anything* without my ex's written and expressed permission.
Period.
We live, the children and I, with family. We share one bedroom - we sleep in one small bed. I go to the gym relentlessly. I work hard, save pennies where I can - and do THE BEST I CAN for all five of us - Me, The Ex, The Girlfriend and our kids..... because I'm the Mom and that's my f*cking job.
HUFFINGTON POST: please stop defaming my name. Please stop calling me a psycho or implying that I could be one of the worst ex-wives in history....... because you're wrong. You should care enough about the basics of journalistic integrity to do a little research and get my story right - why? Because I'm a human being and I deserve the smallest amount of respect from you - a online "news source" (as you claim to be).
Finally...... you should know that the ex and I are taking the kids on holiday - TOGETHER - as a joint birthday present to them. How many ex-wives can even BE IN THE SAME ROOM - let alone take a trip and stay in the same hotel room with their ex-husband without killing each other?
This b*tch.... that's who.
And you know what.... I'm damn proud of that.
I did the RIGHT THING when many other's would have done the wrong thing.
I put my children first and my hurt and anger waaaaaaaaaaaaay second.
I have never been 'revengeful' in my actions.
I have never been 'psycho' in my decisions.
My past actions have led me to a place of healing and a place where my life is good, our children are happy and I'm grateful for the little I have.... and it's little believe me.
I would, at the very least, like to keep some small shred of my reputation in tact, which won't happen if you keep running half-assed articles with sh*tty headlines that just AREN'T true.
I understand that everyone interprets the sign I made differently.
I also understand that people are entitled to their opinions.
But, if you are a somewhat trusted "news source" - then please consider someone's feelings when you label them as a 'psycho' or write a title that claims that they are such an "awful" ex - that you might be glad for the one you have?
Mean..... is not journalism.
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