Anyhow.... before there was that crap there were movies and after-school specials upon which I placed all the hopes and dreams and romantic notions that I had for my future.
Marriage proposals are grandiose in nature - they happen at the Thanksgiving table while your whole family waits on the edge of their seats.... or at the local baseball field where a thousand fans on both sides of the dugouts cheer in wild approval.....
Or.... not, as has always been the case for me.
Babies are born to the riotous screams of their mother while a dutiful father holds your hand and runs into a waiting room that's stuffed wall-to-wall with supportive and excited family and friends.....
Or ..... not, as I had two clinical c-sections and El Capitan just sent out a blast text.
ah..... Modern technology - isn't it great?
I think we all know that I have long placed nearly all of my romantic expectations firmly in the hands of a "Lloyd Dobler"-esque person... and yes - I said "person". Here's the thing - just because I dig chicks (and always have) doesn't negate that male/female romances have (as they have all of us) dominated my visions for my future.... the *difference* is that I wanted a *woman* who treated me the way that Lloyd treated Diane.
I wanted to find a woman who *wanted* to take care of me.
A woman who thinks to clear the glass from my path.
A woman who makes me a mix-tape and holds it up outside my bedroom.....
A woman who holds my hand when I'm weak and makes me stronger simply by believing in me.
(Small, teensy, tiny fact..... it's a sh*t ton easier to find these qualities in other girls... just fyi. :) lol)
Anyhow...... as a parent I always envision that life's "big" moments will unfold while I'm swinging with my kids at the park, or just after we've done something huge and amazing and wonderful - like climbing a mountain or building the worlds greatest snowman..... however, we are sans any kind of good snow, we all *know* the only think I'm liable to climb is into my own bed and while we do *plently* of swinging and playing at the park.... these kinds of "big" life moments do NOT happen in any kind of romantic way when it comes to my kids....
Just this morning, The Boy and I were in the bathroom and one of these "big" moments takes places mid-tooth brushing/ass wiping......
The Boy: Mommy, did [Hail Mary] have a sleep over?
Me: Yes, remember we're going to the beach today - which is a two hour drive and [Hail Mary] lives 45 minutes away, so she stayed over so we can get going faster.
The Boy: Ok.......
Me: Is that ok? May be I should have asked you how you felt about that before it happened?
The Boy: Oh no! Mom! It's totally fine.... totally.
The Boy: Are you married to [Hail Mary]?
Me (a little surprised): Umm... no - not yet anyway. What do you think about that, though - what if I did want to marry [Hail Mary] - do you have any thoughts about that?
The Boy - he's quiet for a second, then he say's: I really like her Mom. She's really cool - she helps me do math in my head and helps me count my pennies and hangs out with us.....
Me: Yeah - she's pretty cool, huh bud?
The Boy: Yeah.... you know what, Mom? ..... I think she might be the gal for you - I think you should marry her.
Me: Well... I'm glad you feel that way. I'm glad you like her - but you should know that you don't have to like her, just because I do. And, if your feelings change, I want you to know that it's safe for you to tell me that, too. Ok?
The Boy: Mom.... I don't haaaave to like anyone - but I like [Hail Mary] - a lot.
And that.... was that.
I'm not sure if I will marry Hail Mary or not... BUT - first of all... who the hell is teaching my kid a word like "gal"? I'm mean seriously.... that's not cool...."gal"? Not girl? girlfriend? lol.... The Boy is one crazy kid.... but on top of that - why the confessional while he's on the damn toilet? This is a HUGE MOMENT in our lives - the acceptance of my girlfriend and my sons *approval* to add her to our FAMILY?
Regardless of whether or not it happens.... it would be *great* if this moment in time as a parent wasn't punctuated with the sound of a flushing toilet.....
Oh well... you can't have it all, can you? lololol
So on that note.... things *are* going really well with Hail Mary. She's kind of great - and The Bubbie has fast become a pretty big fan herself. The Girl seems to have taken to her - always asking to sit next to her at dinner or hold her hand when we go places.
Today we took them to the beach and even though it wasn't sunny out (i.e. it was a very typical, overcast, windy and coldish day at the Oregon Coast) -we had a great time. Hail Mary was the first one in the water - splashing around and chasing the kids through the waves and ... of course she was the last one out.
She's like a big kid... only cuter - and one I get to make out with. lolol :)
I, of course, was staying mostly dry and taking pictures and the three of them were jumping waves together - holding hands.... it really struck me.
Hail Mary is like.... well - she's a breathe of fresh air, to be honest. She's open and happy and kind... so, so kind. She's the kind of person you always want to be around because she's just so sunny and fun.
Hail Mary is fun.
It's like... she came along and *instantly* all of three of were having more fun in life. She really *plays* with the kids, she connects with them.
Today at the beach was all castle-building and body-burying and wave-jumping and good times... until The Girl got too much sand in her swimsuit and started crying and *refused* to take another step.... so we packed up our sand toys and towels and then......
Hail Mary carried The Girl (all 50lbs of her) the 1/2 mile IN. THE. SAND. back to the street.
I'm not gonna' lie.... that's kind of hot. lololol
At the same time.... it's strange. I've been a single parent for a while now... and if I'm being honest - probably since a bit before I even knew about La Novia: I was doing a lot of this alone.
Having someone here who actually *helps* and doesn't play on their phone or fall asleep or is "too tired" or just "worked all week" or whatever excuses I've heard in the past.... to have someone just there to PLAY with them, hang out with us, being an extra pair of *helpful* hands is awesome.... but it's also going to take me some time to get used to it....
So, in spite of having a heavy chest all weekend... we had a great time together, in no small part because Hail Mary was there holding all our hands, making us laugh and jumping waves with us....