Cannot say enough how shocked I am by allllll the media attention. No doubt we've got to be on minute.... 8 or 9 of my solid "15 minutes" of fame - and I'm fully expecting this rocket to go ass up, t*ts down and hit rock bottom soon.... but until then, some friends thought I should make my own voice heard while people are asking... Mind you - I'm still wondering why anyone care what I have to say to start with... but here goes.
We - the Ex and I, we're going to call him.... El Capitan - why? Simply because he was my "rock" and frankly... he's been a bit rough to get over. lol So, El Capitan and I aren't too unlike *most* people we know - working crazy hours trying to make enough money to make ends meet and maybejustmaybe start getting ahead.... but alas, in our attempt to get ahead we got "apart" instead... though I truly never saw this coming. (of course having someone else climb on the El Capitan didn't help matters... but perhaps another blog post on that later..... hahaha)
So, just to be clear AGAIN. We are divorced. He cheated, she's 22 and does, indeed, love yoga (and married men with kids.... just sayin'). Faced with separating our assets... lol... as if we actually *have* assets. bwahahaha - sure, I think we all know I poses amble "ass"ests.... however, in terms of financial things that courts care about we didn't have much and we decided to sell the house.
My Mom and I am spent a month and a half cleaning and packing and moving our stuff out of the house.
El Capitan doesn't yet have a "fixed" address so *I* rented a storage unit and moved his stuff there.... - so, yeah I guess all those internet posts are right - I did "clean him out" - only, I advance paid for the storage rental and gave him the lock and the key. Clearly, I really need to work on my master plans of "revenge" and being a "b*tch" ex-wife who "cleaned him out". lol.... I appear to really suck at those things.
For my business www.totallyradcards.com- I make cards and stuff - allll day long. When it came to selling the house, having me make the For Sale By Owner Signs - seemed like a no-brainer. My Mom came up with a nastier sign and I made it a little more "pg" and I approached El Capitan about using the signs and he thought it was a hilarious idea and we both thought it would get the house exposure. NEITHER of us thought it would be about exposure of both of us... NEITHER of us would use this dark time in our family to "dupe" people or lie to them just to sell our house....
So now here are.... the phone rings and rings and rings - and I, being a simple artist without training in public
speaking or how on earth I'm supposed to answer questions about the *most painful* time of my life.... I think I trip over my words alot.... but, first and foremost, I want to be clear that cheating is *the worst* thing someone can do in a marriage. :( The affects have been emotionally catastrophic and painful beyond words... finding out about her was the very darkest hours of my life thus far...
However, I noticed that the days I cried and cried... so did the kids - over toys and tv time and whatever. Days that I was angry - so were they: fighting with each other toys and getting frustrated over little things far too
quickly. Then... on days when I dug deep and found the strength to paint a smile on my face - the kids were smiling, too. Even if I had to fake it in the beginning, they didn't seem to know the difference and so like a perfect little circle... the more I smiled, the more joy and happiness they found - which brought me around to finding my own laughter and joy and happiness.
That's the thing. I lost my husband - and yes... I'm well aware that the size of my Lane Bryant capri pants *seems* to be a reasonable reason for this according to some online folks.... but I can assure you: as a wife, a woman and a mother I am defined by who *I* am - not my size. :) just sayin'...... :) I didn't lose myself, my kids or my sense of humor.... she took my husband - but she's not takin' *me*, and she's not taking the joy I have as a mother and the gratitude I have for my life. THAT is mine... alll mine - and only *I* have the power not to giveit up to them and their decision.
So, that's me and my first blog... and all two or three "readers" that this will actually get.... but it's nice to know someone is listening. Feel free to comment.... more posts to come later if people want them.