By The Seat of My Pants...

10/10/2012

Among the amazing positive and supportive comments - and the fat jokes and PSA warnings about my malt liquor and intake - I also get quite a few emails/comments about my writting.

I think that I'm a decent 'story teller' - at least according to Jeff Probst I am... hahaha. However, I am in agreement with the many who find fault with spelling and grammar issue's - of which - there are many in nearly every post.

In my humble defense - I'm not a writer - I'm not a blogger... I'm a photographer, a small business owner, a home-school teacher, a Mom... but 'wordsmith' is not a title I own by any stretch of the imagination.

Good for me that I never said I was to start with. lol

It's not that I don't *want* to be a better writer - but.... I do the best I can - seriously. I sit down five nights a week to share what's happening in my life, what's going on in my heart and how this whole, entire fuster-cluck is changing my world. I don't anyone to think that my spelling or grammar errors are any kind of indication that I'm cavalier in *what* I'm writting.... that is NOT the case. I take the blog and what I say on it very seriously. I have google analytics on the site and the average site visitor spends over 53 minutes on the site when they visit. That tells me that people are actually taking the time to read and digest what I write... that means a lot to me. I truly does.

However - my good intentions clearly do not take the place of a formal education

Much like my life... sometimes what I write on the blog - isn't very pretty. I appologise for that, and I appologise if some people find my myriad of grammar and spelling issue's annoying. Really - I do.

I'm just flying by the seat of my pants... and you can either sit back and enjoy the ride - or, get sidetracked by the wind blowing your hair in your face once in a while.

In other news - I got an invitation to my first post-divorce party. I have some friends who go allll out for Halloween and they have two parties each year. On Friday they have a kid friendly party - complete with a HUGE haunted house and dancing. On Saturday, they have an all-night 'adult' party with a full bar, haunted house and dancing.

We were invited last year - and we took the kids to the kid party. It was awesome - The Boy had the time of his life - complete with some serious poorly executed Michael Jackson moves on the dance floor. I really wanted to go to the Saturday night party - even got us costumes to wear... but El Capitan wouldn't go.

Looking back.... now I wonder if he was embarassed to be seen with me? Or, something?

So THIS YEAR - who has two thumbs, an ill-fitting costume and is going to the Saturday party?

THIS GIRL. lololol

I only know my friends hosting the party, so I'm a teeny bit nervous about not knowing other people - not having that built in social connection with a husband is going to be odd.

In ten years of marriage I was only ever away from El Capitan and the kids for work - and even then, the longest we were ever apart was 7 days in a row. He was my best friend - I looked forward to hanging out with him every night. Given a choice - I would always prefer to be spending my time with him (in the past) - so I never really went out without him. (other than Moms Night Out kind of thing... but not 'out out' as in like a party or anything like that....)

This year I'm DETERMINED to have a good time. I want to go out and spend time with people who don't use the phrase "Mommy - I'm done.....!!!!!!" when they need me to come wipe their a$$. I *adore* my children - but there's something to be said for ringing in a Saturday night with poop/pee free hands and conversations that don't involve topics like "Elmo" and "Pingu" and don't include the soundtrack of The Fresh Beat Band.

I'm not sure what I'll wear.... perhaps I'll make up two large meatballs, stick them in a jar and walk around with a sticker that say's: HELLO MY NAME IS The Emasculator. (I think I just make up a new word... )

It doesn't really matter what I wear - it's not like anyone is going to hit on this hot mess... and no really - that's not fat joke - the ENTIRE PLANET can ready my inner most thoughts ... I'm not sure that makes me 'dating material' right now. I'm just looking forward to the company and a party atmosphere.

It's clear that there are things El Capitan wanted to while we were married that I was 'holding him back' from... I think it's time that I accepting that there were things *I* wanted to be doing in our marriage that we weren't - and start doing them now!

So... hit me up with your costume suggestions!!!!!! :)

6 Comments

Shirley link

10/9/2012 09:19:43 pm

I did not see the Probst show, so your post as to how you found out (the cell phone) and how you handled it (replied as him to her) were so interesting, illuminating and, not to make light of the situation, funny. Now there's this latest episode of being threatened and harassed by lawyers. It's said that God doesn't give us more than we can handle but I dunno. Sometimes it comes real close and I think you've about had your full. The good news is it's all grist for the mill and is going to make a great book that is sure to be made into a movie. And never mind about typos as the publisher will have someone fix that for you. This latest post reminds me of George Strait's song about a husband who left his wife -- "He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye. Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night. But he had no idea, when he hit the road, That without him in her life, she'd let herself go. Let herself go on a singles cruise, To Vegas once, then to Honolulu. Let herself go to New York City: A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty. When he said he didn't love her no more, She let herself go.

She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch. Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants. Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note, And without him there to stop her, she let herself go. Let herself go on her first blind-date: Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake. Let herself go, buy a brand new car, Drove down to the beach he always said was too far. Sand sure felt good between her toes:
She let herself go ..."

Hang in there girl. There's always light at the end of the tunnel.

Alex

10/9/2012 11:33:21 pm

Elle-

It's spelled *apologize*..... ;) Or "apologise" if you're coming from my land. Don't sweat it, this is what MS Word is for. I'm dyslexic, I feel your pain.

Your costume idea is hilarious, but don't do it. You're moving on to something new, and fun. Don't bring El Capitan, or his symbolic testicles, along, because you're really bringing all your pain with it too. Put the pain on the shelf for that evening and go and have fun. You can deal with it later.

When I temporarily separated from my husband, I went and stayed with some old friends of mine in London. I was meeting a ton of their new friends and was nervous initially. It was the first time I'd been without my husband in years, and to be honest, it was the first time I felt like myself in years. I hadn't even realized who I had been before until I was that person once more. I was nervous going but was practically bouncing within hours.

I think this party will do this for you as well. Bring nothing of El Capitan with you, no matter how hilarious the costume. Don't have people's first impression of you be based on your ex. You are so dynamic, you'll have myriad things that impress people and make them enjoy your company. You'll rediscover them soon.

I haven't been able to find any clips of the recent shows you were on (do we get them on the east coast?), so I don't know how you look now, but I think your costume should show off the knock out you are. It doesn't have to be "sexy", just show off your awesomeness. Make it symbolic if you want. One of my biggest hits as a costume was when I went as "Autumn", dressed up in an vintage white sheath, like a Grecian Goddess, my hair pulled up with a long red/orange/yellow fading silk scarf tied around it. It was beautiful. I *felt* like a goddess.

It cost me $0 and was a cinch to do. Plus, it was an unusual costume. :)

I think you should go as wind or water. You're going with a new flow. For water, grab a long blue dress if you have it, any blue or silver jewelry, body/face glitter and spray blue streaks in your hair. It will go with your eyes. For wind, repeat in white/grey and spray grey streaks in your hair. You could do "night" (a black dress might be easiest to find) and do blue streaks, glitter, maybe some small silver stars in your hair.

Go, have fun, post pics of the costume! :)

Jen

10/10/2012 12:52:54 pm

Dear Elle,

I've never commented on any article, website, blog, video, etc, before (except Facebook), but I felt drawn to your blog, maybe because you make it easy to *approach* you, maybe because the feisty-instinct in me wants to *stand up there* with you and exclaim "Yeah! take that!" I don't know, but I just felt like I wanted to extend some friendly words to you (cuz the world needs more of those, gosh dang it!!.....and you deserve some since your words bring a smile to my face every week). You are a real doll you know...a foul-mouthed, quick, witty, cheeky doll...the best kind!! And just FYI, I enjoy poor grammar and misspelled words (yes....I did have to look up misspelled....*mispelt* *mispelled*...oi!!) because this blog is not about writing the next literature masterpiece, it's about you, ELLE, expressing your thoughts and sometimes thoughts can be f@#$ed up. I can tell you, my thoughts are not grammatically correct..ahaha!!....even worse than my verbal communication! Oh, and when I am "passionately" expressing myself about a heated topic, forget it....I'd be lucky if I could get a coherent, well-put-together sentence out that isn't also littered with f-bombs and b-bombs and s-bombs and any other crap! At least for me, I enjoy them and I enjoy you :)

Dianne

10/10/2012 11:18:38 pm

Hi Elle,

I read your blog because I can sense you write from your heart. I like that...it seems 'real'. Sure, there are the typos here and there but it's not enough for me to not understand what you mean. I think your writing style is fine...I don't care about it being unedited or not. I sorta imagine that you sit there and pour your heart it. I'm pretty sure if you had to edit your writing, it probably won't seem as heartfelt anymore.

As for those who criticize your writing style...well, why don't they write their own amazing, grammatically proper blog and get their own followers? There are millions and millions of article to read on the web, but here we are...reading yours.

Stay true to yourself...it has gotten you this far already. Don't start changing because someone else said so. You are who you are and that's alright for many of us!

Dianne

Debby

10/11/2012 03:48:15 am

Hmmmm....the best cosume I did was in the 80's.....I was a "lady of the evening" lololo Super easy, low cut black dress, HIGH heels and TONS of make-up, teased hair, glitter..red red red lipstick. And, if you ever want to "chat" I'm easy to find!!

Nichole

10/11/2012 04:50:19 am

Hi Elle -

Suggestion for a costume.....go as "The Sign"!!! I'm sure that will be a great icebreaker. If that's too bold for you go as a scorned and slightly bitter woman, I'm sure you wear it well. I first came upon your website when it was a Yahoo headline and thought it was creative and brave of you to broadcast your problems to the planet and now to see you have continue to use this avenue as a place to release your feelings without little to no hatred toward your children's father or as you referred to him, El Capitan ( I referred to him as "the tool"). I wish you great success for your new found freedom and can't wait to hear about that first "coffee outing". I have a feeling that if you attend the Halloween party as one of my suggestion you will have a few offers before the coach turns back into a pumpkin....Cinderalla! Good luck and keep the blogs coming, they are entertaining and helpful!

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Elle Zober

Mother, "scorned wife", photographer, designer, potential blog writer and recent guest on The View.... life's been pretty crazy as of late - crazybeautiful that is!

You can see some of Elle's photography at:
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SITE DISCLAIMER/
POINTS OF FACT:
El Capitan not only KNEW about and approved the signs, he helped pay for them. :)
The children have NOT seen the signs and will NOT see the signs. PERIOD.
This SITE and the SIGN were made to SELL OUR HOME.... what else this might be turning into is unclear, but the original intent was bereft of revenge or malice and was truly to sell our home.
We ARE DIVORCED and for the very reason the sign suggests.

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