I had worked right up until Christmas eve, doing the housework, preparing meals - for which I had to prepare (from scratch) three per day including an evening 'appetizer' of fresh carrots, cucumbers - which were peeled and all sprinkled with sea salt. Every. Single. Night.
I wasn't expecting much from them, we were all traveling to Brussels where the Mom was a member of the "royal family"..... we so stayed in an actual Royal estate. The upstairs was totally rad. It was this huge house - shaped a bit like a giant square - and in the children's wing there was a set of pull-down stairs in the middle of the hallway.
The only way to get to the "Nanny Annex" was to pull down the stairs and climb up. I wasn't expecting much, just a small room up there. Instead, however, there was an entire floor of "servants quarters" complete with a large, central kitchen, to living rooms, four bathrooms and about ten large bedrooms.
Each room had a queen size bed fitted out in all white bedding and a thick, fluffy white covered duvet. A large armoir stood in the middle of the room and a "reading chair" was placed near a window. It was a bit sparse, but very, very nice all the same. I was.... mesmerized. It was like something out of a movie, honestly. This huge "secret" floor housing 'the help' was totally magical to me, I don't know why - but it really was.
We had traveled with the family and Drew (my first husband) just stayed up in the Nanny Annex all day reading or listening to music while I worked. I watched the children and peeled - my hand to G*d - I peeled five sacks of potatoes for dinner. That... that was less magical.
We had Christmas day "off' - so we walked around the center of town, they had a huge Christmas tree set up, and it was just cool to see the shops (even though they were all closed) - it was just nice to take in the sights.
The next day I woke up to prepare for work and was informed that it was actually *another* Bank Holiday (which means it's a paid day off in the UK) - so they handed me a large brown box filled with leftover food, a new scarf, some cookies and cakes and a hat and scarf for Drew and 100 pounds sterling. I couldn't figure out why they gave us leftover food..... then Drew explained that 'Boxing Day' is actually the day that (in the very old days) employers would give their servants and house workers a box of goods (often used, so if the woman of the house got new pots and pans, she would "gift" her old set to her cook, etc. - and then a small holiday bonus) - coining the term "Boxing Day".
It sounded a bit outdated to me - but Drew reminded me that we were standing gin an "Nanny's Annex" in the home of a Royal family member.... so they most likely took the idea of "Boxing Day" a bit seriously. I liked the scarf and the free food and the extra money - so I thought it was a pretty cool holiday.
None of my other family's ever gave me a box on Boxing Day - but, I came to learn that it's also a big like American's Black Friday - so it's great for sales and such. Best of all - most people get the day off - so Christmas is two days in a way. I loved that.
This year, no boxes of prepared food showed up... damn. lolol, but I did spend the day with the kids with the kids opening up the rest of their presents and then cleaning the house top to bottom. I wanted to make the house spic and span for the people who let us live here. I cleaned the bathrooms, did all the laundry and put away toys. It was nice to know that they would come home to a clean house.... *every* woman wants to come home to a clean house.
We had a great "Boxing Day", us, doing things around the house, playing around. It was great. There haven't been too many day's like this in the last 9 months, so I was very grateful.
I also spent a lot of time thinking about the last year - what has changed, what I don't like, what I want to change - how *I* want to change.
I'm still scared sh*tless about money.... I really have to start finding some kind of job.... which is just scary. At my age and such.... the idea of having to find work is more than daunting. The idea of leaving the kids at home while I work is .... painful. But, nothing that every other working Mom and single Mom hasn't already faced.
I also have to work on me.... healing myself, finding a way to be less angry.... a blog poster said in the recent past that perhaps 'co-parenting' won't work for us... perhaps it won't. I'm going to give it more time...
What I really want to do is .... work on my weight. It's time to get serious at the gym. I've had a gym membership for *years* - but I never go... I like to call it my own personal "fat tax" - the money I shell out every month as a reminder for what I *should* be doing. lolol. So..... the gloves are coming off. NO MORE 'fat tax'. It's time to get in there and start working out. It's time to run.... I mean - *walk* on the treadmill. hahaha. It's time to swim and lift weights (believe it not, I actually know *how* to do that) - and start working towards a goal.
I missed my Christmas goal by 8 pounds... which was a bit of a bummer, but I wasn't hanging my head in shame or anything.... but I have a birthday goal and I'd really like to get there. No pressure... but it would just be nice.
I think, too - that it'll be good for me to set a goal. Right now - sooooo many things feel out of my control - and I don't have any 'easy' answers. How am I going to earn money? Can I keep homeschooling? What does the future hold? Will the children recover from this? Where will we live?
Going to the gym is a slow and steady way to set a goal and work towards achieving it... I don't know a great deal about success, but I'm pretty sure that if I can't get that one thing on track - and find success there that that will bleed out into other area's of my life which will, in turn, affect the childrens life in a positive way.
So, there's no "weight" goal just yet.... just the goal of *going* regulary. Focus on that step first, then focus on the next step.... slow and steady - but one things for sure... the gloves are coming off. It's