See, I told you: inept. (I just looked it up and it *is* a word ... phew)
Soooo many people reading my little blog here and sharing their own stories!!!! Wow. I'm just touched by how many nice thing people are saying and truly touched by so, so many of your stories.
And dissapointed by how closely our stories are in painful details and feelings.... cheating blows.
Last November I Could. Not. Wait. for Breaking Dawn Part I to come out..... ok, so I have to be totally honest and admit that I made fun of my friend Jenny-Jen-Jen YEARS ago for reading the Twilight Series. I foolishly thought it was totally beneath me at the time... after all, what could a high school students love story with a vampire have to do with my housewife life?... or Jenny-Jen-Jen's for that matter.... Anyhow, I made relentless fun of her for weeks as she read the series and in the end she said that they were good.... "but kind of for high schoolers". To which I said.... "no-duh." lololol
BUT. Then my Goddaughter Goosie came down one summer and kept talking about how her friend was 'totally in love' with some guy named Edward Cullen..... it took me a few days to figure out we were talking about the previous mentioned highschoolers vampire. And then we went to see Twilight.
After that first movie I was Team Edward All. The. Way. (and who isn't really? lol) and then Jenny-Jen-Jen got to make all kinds of fun of me.... hahaha
Twilight is wonderfulamazingbrilliant, because it captures that intense "first love" we all have. The kind of love that keeps you up at night and keeps you from sleeping and keeps you from being at all productive at work or at school... or at life in general. It makes you love-drunk..... I remember leaving the theater and thinking about lucky I was to have my very own "Edward".
In 2001, El Capitan was friends with a girl my brother had gone to high school with and one night he was having a house party and we were invited by the girl. We were supposed to be there to set up El Capitan and another one of our friends because that girl *had* a boyfriend who no one liked.... and so a plan was hatched to hook up El Capitan and that girl....
It was Novemeber 23, and the night of the Leonid Meteor shower. We walked into the house and across the entry in the kitchen I saw the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen and he had the most amazing smile.... instanly I was hooked and then as instanly I realized it was El Capitan and he was supposed to be getting set up with our friend.... crap and double crap.
I was older.... four years older than most people there (that's a whole other story for another day.... lol), and I sat at the kitchen table being snarky and jokey and my usual bubbly, mouthy, self.... and El Capitan sat next to me. So, I moved away. Like Edward - I found his "stink" to be LITERALLY intoxicating and I was having a hard time remembering that our friend was supposed to end up with him.... but he kept coming over and sitting by ME.... close to midnight our friend had lost interest and decided her boyfriend was a better bet anway (SMART move on her part... lol).
Hours passed.... El Capitan was drunk. In the UK they would call it 'steamin'. He was steamin'.... slurring his words and mixing up his jokes and his pick-up lines.... at one point he was wrestling around with one of the guys there and barfed on his BillaBong jacket....
But it was no matter to me... I was smitten.
They ran out beer (I say *they* because I don't drink... like - at all, ever. I know - it's sad, I need an intervention to START drinking - at least most of my Mommy friends think I do... lol). So, they were out of beer and we walked to the AM/PM. I was cold, so he gave me his grey and maroon stripped Abercrombie sweater to wear. We walked to the corner and back talking and sharing about our lives.... he had just come back from a failed year at OSU (ran out of money), so he was working and saving to try to go back to college.... I still remember exactly where we standing. I can show you the crack in the sidewalk where one of their neighbors trees has burrowed its way into the cement and pushed it up to one side.... and I stopped right there and said, "I can totally see you going back... you're way too smart for this place....."
And that was it. In that moment, in the dark, carrying a plastic bag of Pabst Blue Ribbon and lottery tickets..... El Capitan was mine.
He had had it rough for a years since his Mom had passed away. Instead of a support system rising up around him to help piece his heart back together - he was kind of left on his own - at least emotionally..... and there, in that moment, on the broken side walk - my assurances that he would go on to better things became a tie that would bind us for ten years.
We went back to the party and most people had left.... my friends wanted to leave... so we did. But my heart actually ached as we drove away ... isn't that dumb? But, it's totally true. So, my friends drove me home and I walked to the front door and then waited until their tail lights were distant red dots and then I dashed to my car and back over to the house party.
El Capitan was sitting on the front steps - almost as if he knew I would come right back.... and we sat there for hours, talking and laughing and kissing... yes, even with the barf breath.... lol.
Oh, and let me tell you that El Capitan has The. Most. Amazing. Lips. EVER. Full stop. They are amazing. :)
You know when you're a little girl and you see all these movies and you picture what the PERFECT date is going to be like? And allll through high school no date ever, really actually lives up to your "dream date"? Like, somehow you're always let down when the boy doesn't kick the broken glass out of your path like Lloyd Dobler?
Well, this was PERFECT. It was hands down, the most romantic night of my life.... I saw my first shooting star and right there on those steps.... I totally and completely fell in love.
El Capitan appeared to feel the same and he kept asking for my phone number over and over and over. But I refused.... I knew he wouldn't call.... I was four years older than him. *I* was looking for a husband and a family and a life... he was looking for the next beer and a washing machine for his jacket... and to get laid (which did NOT happen that night... lol). I didn't want to give him my number because I knew he would never call me... I wasn't super skinny and young and foolish like younger girls... I was older and a bit rounder and looking for someone to settle down with.
And anyway - I didn't want him to ruin the most perfect night of my life by never calling.... so I drove home at the end of the meteor shower without giving him my phone number..... or his Abercrombie sweater. :)
That night I couldn't sleep.... I just lay awake thinking about him.... so the next day I called the girl who was suppsed to get set up with El Capitan and asked if I could date him... she said yes. (bet she's glad she did now!) lol
I knew where he worked and so I drove to his work to "return his sweater" and we made a date to go the movies that night...... and that was it.
The next few days/night we would spend all our time together...... I would stare at him for hours just looking into his eyes and talking and laughing.... each minute seeming to get shorter and shorter as it didn't seem like I could spend enough time with him...
Three and one half weeks after the first night we met..... El Capitan and I were married.
Like, legally - in front a of a judge and with our family and friends in tow.... we said , "I do".
That's the bittersweet part... knowing that he's now shared those moments with HER - Yoga Girl. That they have laid together, with that same emotion and passion.... or, at least I hope they have ... otherwise, it wasn't worth ruining my marriage over.... right? I know that's a bit ass backwards and sounds alllll kinds of wrong. But.... I'm not sure what's worse: being replaced by a one night stand or a casual fling? Or... if they actually love each other.... I'll have to think on that some more.
So.... now SHE has my husband... but I still have the sweater. I have the sweater and my memories and two beautiful babies..... and, the knowledge that in the end, I was right: I shouldn't have given him my number because one day, tenish years later.... he would stop calling. lololol
I guess if you have to be something in this life.... being right isn't so bad. lol